The Chateau Diaries #18 Porky mitts and porky pies

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lolander

Anything needs to be added/taken off?


Thanks to @ploppityplop2 for the intro.
Thanks to @MojoDublin and @Rory for Glossaries.

Glossary

CD - The Chateau Diaries
Tarts boudoir - Chateau de Lalande
HNW - heap in the middle of nowhere
Flat 34B - bolt hole SJ

LOTL/LOTLL - Lady of the (Lost) Lake, aka Stephanie (b.1975)
SSB- She Who Shouts from the balcony, SJ
QBC- Queen of bed chambers - SJ
MB - Madame Boneyparts -SJ
SJ - Stephanie Jarvis
Fanny - Stephanie Jarvis

MMAF - Mad Man's Arse Face, i.e. mummy
Mini Apron - Isabelle Jarvis (nee Biggio, b.1942) married 1962/3 to Derek Jarvis, widowed 2005, married to Percy Atfield year???

Potty/MP - Michael Potts
Cinder-Ruth- MPotts current squeeze Ruth Kelly (b.1981)

Nitti/Nutty - Nati Oliveto

Floral Roadkill (FRK / RK) - Marie Wiik (b.1991)

BJJ - Baby Jesus Jeans, aka Philip Janssen
PP (Nostril of Lalande) - Prince Philip
UH - Uriah Heep - Philip
Renfield - Philip

MP/MP2/MPK - Michael Petherick (b.1986)
MOLD: Man Of LOST Design - Michael Petherick
Crybaby - Michael Petherick
Sir Trotter BDSM - Michael Petherick
Teabag Trotter - Michael Petherick
Master - Swedish director of Elias Truedsson
BS - Billy Spielberg - Billy Petherick (b.1990)
Trotter, Petherdick - any Petherick family reference
Ma Trotter - Sherrie Petherick
Pa Trotter - Mr Petherick Esq
PILF: The only Petherick I'd like to be filmed with - Pa 'Mick' Trotter

Dear Brenda/BG - Brenda Gibbons (superfan/Facebook admin) from Donegal Ireland
Karen Cbomb - other superfan/admin, Canada
Jumpsuit Jill - rabid serial deletor of unfan comments on premier chat - Jill Scott, New Zealand

Donegals - Limericks (renamed in honour of Dear Brenda)
Agents - Tattlers who find out juicy background info

Chat O (or variations) - Chateau (how Brenda says it)
“BuyMeACoffee” - give me money (no, really, give me money, I really need it)

MBNS;GF - more boring narc stuff; gimme facts

PSDFHB - princess shouting down from her balcony
PRSDBP - princess in her robe shouting down from her balcony at the peasants

Wet Blanket - Fun hoover
Mickey Dodger - Woman who avoids sexual encounters

Thanks to @Rory for the SSB Main Squeeze Glossary:

1. Gregory Mason Clark - Husband and boyfriend, on and off at uni. SJ approx 18
2. Nic Larkin - apparently just friends at uni (but also dated according to CB?)
3. Married Husband 22-24??? (wedding registered in July 1999, she was 23 at the time)
4. Michael Potts met through Oliver Strong on and off 10 years. Open relationship in the end. Buys Chateau 2005 during relationship age 29.
5. Edmond Fokker van Craayenstein (player in tight trousers who pretends to be an aristocrat-BF with guy who said "let the 80 years-olds die off")
6. Mason Dwinell on and off (last we heard he is still staring at the sun?)
7. Ludwig Norweigner (otherwise known as Nordic Weirdo, alcoholic friend unceremoniously dumped at the train station without a ticket)
8. James Jardine (turned out to be "too much" for the girl who never has enough)
9. Daniel Hengeveld (nicknamed Druggy Daniel, because of his not so secret habits. IJ was furious about that romance and the fact that he introduced narcotics into the shat-o. Christmas 2016)
10. Various volunteers ad nauseum (bread oven guy Walton, Christian We etc.)
11. BJJ (any port in a storm, eh Stephanie?)



Artwork @Linus
 
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witchgrass

She's stealing our content. I thought she was going to make sandwiches for the poor.
 
Reactions: 15

Croquet_Stripe

Well Michael and Gustavooo seem to be having a merry old time. I guess we now know why Michael hired that trainer!

That boy reminds me of a Wendy's; a freckled redheaded selling beef(cake). If they were stateside, they'd probably be off to Puerto Vallarta with the rest of the circuit queens!
 
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witchgrass

I hope Loki shows up here.
 
Reactions: 11

stefanieeee

My parents have both died. They both grew up in Amsterdam. They both learned 4 languages at school: Dutch, French, German, and English. They both spoke, read, wrote and followed all 4 languages equally. This tells you how long ago this was that they were in school.
 
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lalablahblah

It wasn't that bad this time. She did 20 minutes of work. Managed to not poor mouth. If you can look up other words for a herd of donkeys you can search the French word for compost. She did look a little annoyed she had her hands in dirt at one point. But it wasn't as bad as usual.
 
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sandro37

Please add the link to trotters thread to direct newbies (and some chatty tattlers) there
 
Reactions: 10
P

Pno

What ever happened to Isabelle’s 7k euro tractor? Selmer and Dan were both using the old tractors. And how big a of dummy can SJ be to name off every onion that is already planted in the garden and buy them all again.
 
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La Brocanteuse

A couple more thread suggestions:

Fanny, la fleur fanée qui ne peut plus flâner

[The faded flower who can no longer stroll around observing society]

or

Fanny, la flâneuse fanée

[The faded observer of society]

 
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N

nuff said

The last couple of vlogs by Dan and his family have been short, but better content and editing. Not the usual shato drivel of 20 minutes of watching paint dry or moving a bag of pellets, or melting snow! His new style of editing will be copied by the likes of Philly and Barbie as their viewing figures are poor, which is ironic given he has set up a ‘professional production company to rival C4 ETTCDIY’ .
 
Reactions: 16

Princess and the Pea

witchgrass said:
She's stealing our content. I thought she was going to make sandwiches for the poor.
Click to expand...
OK. I've had enough of her. Dear Brenda. Here's some things for you to copy. You are duplicitous - here are some synonyms, antonyms, idiomatic , of this word so you are in no doubt as to its meaning : disingenuous, devious, shifty, sneaky, guileful, indirect, underhanded, deceitful, double-dealing, two-faced and lubricious. You are being mendacious. meaning : deceitful, dishonest, disingenuous, faithless, false, fraudulent, hypocritical, lying, perfidious, traitorous, treacherous, unfaithful, unscrupulous, untrue. As, it is clear you are reading on here, why not fess up to your 'fanbase' that you are doing so? Come on, Brenda if you are so keen to be seen as being so squeaky clean what have you got to hide? You should just come out with it & point the finger to this site and say - dear readers, if you want to know the truth go to Tattle. Come on, I double dare your Brenda. ps..hope you paid for the copyright to use the sugar pink image on your FB page.
 
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M

Milre

Le Comte de Monte Cristo said:
So Dan made some dronefootage..she said.. we maybe can make a new intro...that would be nice..get rid of that yellow bird next to the gate shouting..Hi i am Stephanie...
Click to expand...
No intro would be better for her. People won't fast forward and her watch time would be better!
 
Reactions: 9

Princess and the Pea

Beachgirl said:
Just seen on instagram

if you enlarge the date it is written as 2021-02-1900
Click to expand...
Unfortunately he is legally allowed to go to Spain from France. He just needs the necessary paperwork. Morally, I am not sure he would fall into the category from the EU directive "All non-essential travel, especially to and from high risk areas, should be strongly discouraged until the epidemiological situation has considerably improved, particularly in the light of the outbreak of new variants.". France Covid : 17 Feb - 9,432 people have been hospitalized the past 7 days & 66.9% of ICU beds are occupied. Hope his little jaunt probably now to be described as for research purposes for his burgeoning art career will be worth it. Selfish waster that he is.
 
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MojoDublin

were long due an apology - we had nothing to do with his inability to work
he hadn't featured here that much

keep going back to 221 k subscribers - and there's barely 60 posting here -
when you take out all the trolls ....
just doesn't add up

ain't buying what he's trying to sell
seems desperate to find out whom I am thou

Anon Anon

• 1 day ago
Hey Cathy, great videos! Looking forward to seeing the 'artists' work!!! ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-)
REPLY0 replies
 
Reactions: 10
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