The Chateau Diaries #174 ''It wasn't $6,000, It was $5,000!'' said the insane chatelaine.

[MadameChat]

Christ on a bike. Yet another birthday tea and another performance of pure sickening indulgence by Fanny.
There are 3 paid gardeners at the shittoo but it takes mummy dear on her first day to get rid of the weeds. She was able to do this in between the grand tour of shittooville where she was busy making an inventory of everything that is hers. Clutching at dishes on a dressing table as if they were made of solid gold and insisting they were hers. Her greed like Fanny’s spending habits is insatiable.
Next a pep talk to the inmates in the kitchen praising their hard work, got to keep them onside until the bit if a do is over, harking back to the old days when the kitchen was a mess of dumped unwashed dishes. Squirrel boy was quick to point out he was not responsible for that, No numbnuts you certainly weren’t because you have never lifted a bloody finger to do any real work at the shittoo. Too busy distributing cushions around the place. But wait now he has become a really really important smugmug as he has one of the co owners as his assistant in Ye Olde Shoppe.
Finally I can’t be bothered to go back but I thought in the patreon video Fanny said the chapel restorer had rung to tell her bad news was imminent but he wanted to tell them in person and she was not happy as she would be worried for days before she knew but then in this vlog she says he rang the night before and arranged to see them in the morning. Whatever, it has left her extremely worried about the cost of it all. What will they do?

The old battle axe rule with a velvet

I.. I always often have my elbows in the table. I am from Europe, I need to show my domination.

halcyonorganic strong and able get your elbows off the table, this is not a horses stable

 

[Clara Burnett]

Heya Clara - What exactly are Mummy's objections to the twit? Do they align with ours?

The two things that bug her the most are that A) he does not have an education and B) he has no money. Seriously, the old hag doesn't give a rat's ass about her daughters fiancee being nice or well mannered, all she cares about is money and education. She needs to be reassured that her daughter is well taken care of when she's no longer around, as Stephanie Jarvis obviously can't take care of herself. That twit is no reassurance whatsoever, quite on the contrary.

 

[C'est moi]

I tell ya, that Anne Marie is all class! Nice outfit to wear for a gathering at the table. Surely, he must own a button down shirt of some sort.

Is this another of those photoshop jobs? His arm, shoulder to elbow, looks wrong. And those bumps are not muscle mass! I realise it's a still that you have taken from the flog but he looks deformed, stunted. And why does nasty always look like she's sucking a lemon?

 

[Reader's digest]

Amaury is the only man present at the HMN that I would happily ask to dress down and quite possibly lick his sweaty pits post a day of working on his bloody hidden hinges.

Sweaty from what? Holding hands with Nati? He is too slow to be sweaty. Holding the garden hose doesn't make him a man.I mean he is not able to set limits to Steph and he is even doing kitchen rotation: I am sure he won't lick anything on your body being tired from doing the dishes ....

 

[graciemckitten]

Percy alert from todays video: Percy did not look thrilled to be carting off a wheelbarrow of weeds. Is the 25 year old Douche Lorde so busy doing his nails that he cannot haul a load of weeds, instead leaving it for an 80+ year old man in frail health, that is over 3 times the age of Snorts?

 

[billybudd]

Steph gave us all a hint : Bernard the gardener helped Isabelle wallpapering the hallway-probably for free, too. He disappeared... The restorer offered to restore the chapel for free-probably offered to Isabelle not to Steph.... And he disappeared, too. My guess Isabelle is a tease who does not like to deliver.

In my neighborhood, we have a word for sex offered in exchange for money.

 

[Arfarf]

I see from Instagram that Dan is closing down his Patreon in a couple of months.

I know. What's with that? I think it is a great idea. Maybe they are going to finish things there and sell the place and move on as was previously noted by other Tattlers.

 

[Clara Burnett]

Oh I am so happy to read Clara’s report that MUMMIE can not stand PHI PHI.
For any of us who have sons, would you not stay up at night worrying over a 47 year old with your 25 year old (or however old he is?)
And OMG Clara, have you just dropped another bomb on us, that are concerns are yours as well “my keeping-real attitude in life warns me not to be too optimistic” in regards to the end of Steph’s madness - are you HINTING (wait, I need to lay down before I continue) are you hinting that the take down won’t happen, that she’ll rise like a phoenix and live on.
Please pass the smelling salts. . . . . .what am I smelling in this most recent posting CLARA!

There's no way for me to exactly predict what is going to happen. There's lots of details involved and some people still need to make up their minds. Sorry to be so cryptic.

 

[graciemckitten]

I smell SJ's involvement in getting Potty to help with the website. We know from Clara that MP doesn't like Phyllis one bit.

Phi phi probably just wants to give Potts more full body hugs like when he flung himself on Potts during the African safari for one of the most cringeworthy moments on CD videos.

 

[Trengilly]

Sweaty from what? Holding hands with Nati? He is too slow to be sweaty. Holding the garden hose doesn't make him a man.I mean he is not able to set limits to Steph and he is even doing kitchen rotation: I am sure he won't lick anything on your body being tired from doing the dishes ....

You shady witch - don't you know that the mental gymnastics that poor Amaury has to jump through trying to work out those hinges breaks him out in streams of sweat. And it's quite alright I don't need Amaury to lick me, I'm more into a pleasing role. Besides it's pretty slim pickings at the HMN - Amaury is far too short for me but if I were somehow stranded there and found myself lost and happened to bump into Amaury on the staircase I wouldn't say no.

In my neighborhood, we have a word for sex offered in exchange for money.

Buysexual?

 

[Reader's digest]

The two things that bug her the most are that A) he does not have an education and B) he has no money. Seriously, the old hag doesn't give a rat's ass about her daughters fiancee being nice or well mannered, all she cares about is money and education. She needs to be reassured that her daughter is well taken care of when she's no longer around, as Stephanie Jarvis obviously can't take care of herself. That twit is no reassurance whatsoever, quite on the contrary.

Funny that she married herself someone without education and money. Being a male nurse and hobby artist back then was not a hugely admired
career. Also she herself and also Chantal didn't put much effort into choosing a grand or exciting education or career: they just did what their mum did: become a nurse - quite boring and not a place where they could expect to meet affluent men. Steve who I still believe to be at least bi is nurse too if I remember correctly? Strange coincidence

 

[Arfarf]

Percy alert from todays video: Percy did not look thrilled to be carting off a wheelbarrow of weeds. Is the 25 year old Douche Lorde so busy doing his nails that he cannot haul a load of weeds, instead leaving it for an 80+ year old man in frail health, that is over 3 times the age of Snorts?

And in 95 degree weather! Fanny and her Pubic Haired, male chromosome are just the laziest pieces of tit to come down the pike.

 

[CountessPompidoo]

Snorts inserting himself with his unnecessary comments. Just shut up child, go play with your porcelain or better yet, return to Maastricht and get your diploma!

Potts appearance has much improved! Sooo he is going to work on the old shoppe with PhiPhi? setting up a shop on Shopify isn't that hard!
I'll tell you why PhiPhi is the ''creative director'' ( a disgrace to call him one) he is going to fondle with decorations to create the decor for ambiance photo's, potts take the photos, uploads them on a website like shopify. who is going to do the picking, parking and shipping?

for god sake potts, kick that knobbly kneed tripod out, work with companies who can produce lalande stuff and forget about the Emmaus finds.

I thought that was a bit of a piss take by Potts tbh. Not sure that will actually happen.

 

[Reader's digest]

I see from Instagram that Dan is closing down his Patreon in a couple of months.

Haha, you mean Analiese is closing down... She did all the work. So it's really over then between them

 

[graciemckitten]

Fanny has had happy birthday sung to her 6 to 7 times in the past few videos. Her need for attention and adulation has no limits. She has worn a crown/tiara, elaborate necklaces, a sign stating her age, has received chocolates and champagne, and several special meals. And has a 2 part gift grab to open her birthday presents. WTF?

 

[Clara Burnett]

I reckon there was no co-ercion involved with the M Le Chapel Restorer …. I think he just found his excuse to say that he is out of that Shiteau & never coming back.

Oh, but there was. That chandelier he was talking about, the one he's not going to hand over but keep it in his own barn "because that's safer" was right in the middle of it.

 

[Sasha Groves]

After rewatching the flog when the restorer visited it appears he was re-plastering and painting. It was obvious there was movement, he knew it, she knew and we knew it. May be he was waiting for the external restoration to be completed and the structure made safe before starting the internal restoration of plaster and paint? That would make complete sense but that’s clearly not happened or going to happen. The complications are over the bits and bobs he took away and the money owed. IJ struck a deal? Fanny applied smoke and mirrors and rightly said he’ll be retired by the time the building is repaired - because that will be never.

 

[Reader's digest]

And in 95 degree weather! Fanny and her Pubic Haired, male chromosome are just the laziest pieces of tit to come down the pike.

I wonder why Pavlina or the gardener didn't do it? They were probably asked to leave it like that on purpose.... For whatever shady reason

 

[CountessPompidoo]

I think Isobel paid the bill. After the meeting IJ was weeding and Fanny said ‘morning one’ so the restorer came to see IJ the very first morning she arrived. She’s the organ grinder in this situ. Mediator. Peace keeper.

After the big wide eyed speech about a much more costly RESTORATION bill she then went seamlessly into what she wants to REDECORATE. Every room needs new antique furniture, the landing (which looked fine in every shot) all needs new wallpaper, etc. Que next season’s Chateau DIY project. The grand tour showing what has been accomplished during the 18 months (or so?) that IJ has been away was basically second hand tat moved from one room to another, decorating of a room for TV and a room stripped of plaster (which IJ was obviously not happy with).

I’m intrigued to know why she’s investing so much in the garden?! What’s the gain for her? She’s tight with spending unless it’s interior decor or hotels so what’s with the thousands upon thousands on a garden view that can’t been seen directly from the main rooms of the Shiteau? Doesn’t add up to me.

The garden just has to be so prittttteeeeeeeeee

 

[Iolair]

I noticed that too and thought it was Maria’s seat but after rewatching it’s not. Dan, come out from under the table
edit; Could be Snorts seat?
View attachment 1528047

Could be... 'cause obviously Snorts was at the kiddies table in the other room, or in the highchair just out of shot.

And another thing, did we really have to see that damn vomit pink twirled room again? I nearly lost my dinner!