The Chateau Diaries #144 For $300/m my Patreons get an original copy of my fanny on a photocopier, signed

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CountessPompidoo

CountessPompidoo

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Princess and the Pea

Princess and the Pea

Jeeves said:
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I'll be bringing my ESM, Jill - she doesn't get about much since that unfortunate misunderstanding with the Charity accounts. She's very keen to give Fanny some advice about creative accounting and a few tip about life 'on the inside" that may be useful for future reference.
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Can I bring my little puppy pal @smolpuppyo'love? I mean they have the inside knowledge of Fanny's brain. Did we ever decide if this ickle lapdog is in fact Phi Phi?
So Fanny's lack of doing anything at the chateau or supplying accounts is because she was all worried about how her consort toy boy would be received by her adorting fans. Yeah right.
Comments on Selmar's vlog Tour Chateau de La Batallie:-
smolpuppyo'love "It often takes a long time to go through the process of the bureaucracy, especially in France. There's also a lot of jobs running simultaneously. It's not the sort of thing that is possible to do in such a short time frame. It's my opinion that Stephanie was at first unsure of how to carry on with the vlogs following the news of her relationship being released. There were many people who felt put out at not being informed, not that they had any rights to being privy to such a personal life decision. I think her unfounded fear of being reviled and targeted by haters because of the age gap caused her to have a momentary crisis of trying to assure the viewers that everything would carry on as normal....but at the same time she was not able to, because everything was different. I'm sure that she experienced an enormous amount of stress and anxiety about how to continue "as normal" as before and keep everyone happy and yet how to make her relationship integrated into the vlogs without alienating her patrons. I wish that people would get over their own prejudices and just enjoy the videos without trying to control the situation and demand for the accounts and plans and criticise everyone. You may think you are aware of everything in terms of plans that go into effect, but you are not. "
 
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S

Summerbaby

Madame de Pompanddoodoo said:
Has it ever been confirmed that the watering system for the walled garden that took so much effort to install actually works. All I can remember is that although all the pipe work was in place thanks to Matt and Dan, that still no water was coming through.
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I thought right from the outset when "whatever" that area of the Shitoo grounds is now being called, i.e. Jardin Anglaise (defo not), Woodland/Forest or, the garden behind the chapel? - it changes in each and every vlog - how the hell do they expect 4000 plants to survive without some form of watering system? Even more so, soon after planting, followed by their hot summer months and being so close to the woods as trees suck up all the moisture through their roots. Sheer madness and a total waste of money imho as there will be casualities, let alone from the threat of woodland animals/birds feasting on everything, especially at this time of the year as they are feeding their "young".
Davy was only doing what his client had asked for, and, in SJ's case, insisted upon asap to deflect attention away from other more important Shitoo issues.
Plus, we are still not sure whether Davy has actually been paid a bean for all his hard work to date, are we? If I were him, I would severe all ties as from now for the sake of his future reputation. Unfortunately, may be too late!
I think what Matt installed before he moved onto pastures new was in connection with internal plumbing for the Shitoo itself, not the garden per se.
There is a recent Patreon vlog where Davy talks/explains about all the land surrounding the shitoo in connection with necessary future water supply including providing a tap in the gardener's tea room, maybe the swimming pool too - please don't ask me to find it as I eyes will drop out.
All I remember is that it was going to be a major future project and the "tanks for that system" will be positioned on the shitoo side of the walled garden, incorporated along that wall, as far as I remember.
Who really knows when the HMN is involved?
I also think that the courtyard trees are manually watered via those extremely high, ugly yellow tubes from the standpipe on the bridge via the water bowser route too.
Luckily, Uncle Stephen was recently insitu to cobble something together to create a much needed sprinkler system for the new garden area, albeit, totally time consuming manually as the "borrowed from Dan" bowser needs to be repeatedly filled and driven around the shitoo via the woodland entry, which is extremely labour intensive too.
Just why, why, why???
Yet again, as with everything else where the HMN is involved, all arse about face planning/strategy scenario. :rolleyes:
 
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Aquablue

Aquablue

T Rex said:
With the Chateau de LaLande Drinking Game, everyone from Newbies to VIPs can pickle their internal organs equally while watching the vlogs. Here are the rules- you must take a drink 🍺for every time Fanny says:
1) "Parfect!"
2) "I love it so much!"
3) mentions Daddy Jarvis' paintings
4) "It's so good!"
5) "Magnificient!"
And lest we not forget BJJ:
6) Every snort he makes
7) "My grandparents..."
8) "You know where this would look good?"
9) Any time he refers to "We" and "Ours" (such as "OUR Chateau")
10) For any hedgehog reference
For any of the following, a shot of alcohol 🥃 must be consumed:
1) When something breaks/leaks/ or the ceiling caves in
2) Any mention of the lake
3) Fanny breaks out in song (you'll thank me)
4) A trip to Emmaus or Brocante
5) Any mention of Christie's or Channel 4
6) Anytime a hot glue gun makes an appearance
7) ScotMan makes a joke

Feel free to add to it!
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Congratulations @T Rex !!!!🎉🍾
I’m sorry that I missed your VIP inauguration last night. Is the drinking game just for VIP or can we play from the cheap seats at home too?! 😁
 
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M&MsMom

M&MsMom

The people who own the chateau that Selmar is currently at are planning to start a YouTube channel. See comment below, which was under the video of the tour Selmar did of the chateau.

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CountessPompidoo

CountessPompidoo

Just caught up with CD & Selmar

a few observations (Apols for repeats)

The hen house is filthy. Poor ladies. No wonder they’re not laying eggs. Clean it you lazy cow!
The product placement was so obvious
The chicks will never play with those silly toys
Whip Women is scary and so OTT. So LaLande
SJ didn’t thank Gerry for the perfume 🤨
Gerry was mega irritating. I can’t stand him, never have done. Same old same old. Shut up why don’t yer !!!!
Nick the tree man is not sexy. Not at all 🫣
Why did SJ sit on the ground to plant. So weird to watch
SJ announced Gerry would not be eating with the guests. What a lucky escape!
Ann Marie was wheeled out to turn the sprinklers on he devised. He looked knackered
Aussie Grant has arrived. Now he is sexy 😍
Pavlina is definitely a volunteer. Not a refugee 🤬
Mrs Falafal made falafels. What else 🙄
SJ is still wearing the yellow dress 😳
The editing was awful, content repetitive and boring.

Selmar’s tango lesson. Made me cringe. Don’t watch it.

The End 😃
 
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Lady Avonlea

Lady Avonlea

graciemckitten said:
I wonder if the Maker and Manner symposium is a success, Fanny will hold her own 3 day symposium on how to make a cup of tea. Day 1 will be a 15 minute class on black tea, Day 2 will be a 20 minute class on herbal tea, and Day 3 will be a 5 hour class with Long Island iced tea (with 5 different liquors). There were be specialty classes in how to boil water, drive a digger with a full cup of tea on the floorboards, how to hide spilled tea stains on pillows and bed linens, how to run with a china cup full of hot tea, and what breath mints will hide your indulgence in Long Island iced tea. All classes will start after the Shittelaine awakens, so count on 1 p.m. as a starting time for class.

The porcelain fondler will lead a 10 minute class on how to choose a tea cup that will match your outfit. The current volunteer will supply a cheese board for your enjoyment with all you can eat Brussels sprouts from the garden (which you will be responsible for picking and cleaning yourself). Fanny will guarantee that any cheese served is no older than 60 days past its expiration or use by date. And Fanny reserves the right to take your vehicle at any time during the symposium, as any cars automatically become communal property on the premises. Your car may or may not have a bumper on its return.
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This will be the agenda for Fanny's 'date yet to be confirmed/date never to be confirmed' Patron party!
 
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CountessPompidoo

CountessPompidoo

M&MsMom said:
The people who own the chateau that Selmar is currently at are planning to start a YouTube channel. See comment below, which was under the video of the tour Selmar did of the chateau.

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As long as they ignore all content, editing & grifting tips from Selmar, they’ll be fine 😂😂😂

Belated congrats to new VIP @T Rex.
Sorry just recovering from watching latest CD and Selmar conducting yet more boring tango lessons 😴😴😴😴
 
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CountessPompidoo

CountessPompidoo

M&MsMom said:
Exactly! I thought the same thing....that Selmar got in their head.
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Doesn’t bear thinking about does it. I now wonder if he got invited there for exactly that reason 😳 Another dilusional Chateaux owner who wants to make money???? We’ll see.
It can’t be for tango lessons or his DIY skills let’s face it 😃
 
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Lady Avonlea

Lady Avonlea

graciemckitten said:
Did you notice in this week’s chat responses, Fanny confirmed that she was going to purchase large statues for the woods? Get ready for the next huge waste of Patreon money. I bet she will want a sculpture made in her likeness for the woods. Because she only has a dozen paintings depicting herself, and a painted pillow, but sadly she doesn’t have a large garden sculpture of herself. She will probably make Nic hide the sculpture in the woods for her to find on the next Easter hunt and will hide her Easter chocolates around it.
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Here's a few garden statues to help inspire Fanny.
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The Simple Life

The Simple Life

Lady Avonlea said:
5 Day Symposium
Colonialism versus Imperialism through the Centuries
September 4 – 9, 2022
​
This inaugural Tattler event will be held at Manor & Maker – a vomit-inspiring space for like-minded people to come together in an unfinished, communal living space and share (thrash-out their opinions) in a uniquely ramshackle environment. (Think more shabby then chic).

If you enjoy shared bathrooms, putrid décor and lumpy beds then you’ll be happy to join us in the beautiful Dordogne country-side, but please don’t expect the host, Sara & Shrek, to speak French.

This don’t miss event kicks off with a ‘Champagne Toga Cocktail Party’ on the evening of Sunday, September 4th.which commemorates the Fall of the Roman Empire on September 4, 476AD. (BYOB)

Guest Speaker – Famed Egyptologist Curtis Ryan Woodside will share his most recent vacation snaps of Roman ruins and his cute dog.

Closing Dinner – ‘From Genghis Khan to Queen Elizabeth II – come dressed as your favourite historical imperialist leader. Our hostess Sara will attempt to make costumes for any guests who don’t bring their own.

VIP Lounge – unlimited access for eligible participants (hurry-up Heathcliffe). (We considered hiring alcoholic cocktail drinker extraodinaire, Caroline Gooder, to be our VIP bartender since she has a large bosom booze cabinet, but we realized she would drink it all). Still accepting applications! Jason Dubey please stop sending your CV - bartenders must be good listeners and we don't want you hogging all the conversations)

It's hard to put a price on this priceless, once in a lifetime experience (but we did):
Cost - ₿ (in Bitcoin)
VIP - 5,000 (unlimited VIP lounge access)
Chatty Member - 7,500 (2 free passes to the VIP lounge)
Active Member - 10,000 (1 free pass to the VIP and you must eat meals in the kitchen with Shrek)
Food not included (you'll thank us for that)

Register soon - spaces limited!
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Nooo, but this is THE event of the century! I can't miss it! Please, please sign me up. Thank you @Lady Avonlea for this brilliant project. It sets my mind blowing. But won't be a day trip to the as seen on C4 renowed Chateau de Lalalala(+)nde be included in the very convenient fee?
My only concern: I'm teetotal. Will that prevent me from attending?
 
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LadyPutefica

LadyPutefica

that's right, they are a nice couple, I love their naturalness and that they laugh at themselves. A breath of fresh air among so much falsehood that exists in the Chateauverse.
suthern_lurker said:
I watched a couple of theirs- when I was trying to find something “normal” lol!!!
I did enjoy the tour of the Chateau. The couple are likable- Not putting on airs- seem honestly working on the place. Seems they found it in a livable condition- but working on it one room at a time. Have ideas of what they are going to improve.
*A good bit of nervous laughter I remember- in the commentary- but nervous laughter I’m thinking. Not like the cackling of SJ!!! 🙉
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that's right, they are a nice couple, I love their naturalness and that they laugh at themselves. A breath of fresh air among so much falsehood that exists in the Chateauverse.
 
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