The Chateau Diaries #144 For $300/m my Patreons get an original copy of my fanny on a photocopier, signed

[graciemckitten]

Amaury will have to steal the jar Nutty keeps his nads in before he bolts. I'm sure it was either that or a chastity belt.

He will need to be extra careful if Natty gets a whip as suggested by Fanny in today’s video. Amaury, every day you delay your escape, you are putting yourself in more danger. Blink 3 times in a row in the next video if you need help to escape. And don’t share your plans with the porcelain fondler. He will run and tell Fanny immediately. You could keep him quiet by threatening to smash his favorite teapot, but why take that chance?

You could also try to escape when Ñutty is immersed in unboxing the gift grab and figuring out what she wants first dibs on before presenting the grifted haul to Fanny.

 

[RWChatter]

Congrats? or Condolences?
What item did you get? My 1st Spode was a pickle dish.
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I also bought the spice jars. I left them in a corner on the kitchen floor in a shopping bag. A while later, in a kitchen cleaning frenzy I was tossing junk and trash into the bin and saw the shopping bag, I assumed it was trash too so I tossed it. Somewhere in a Southern California landfill awaiting a future archeologist to find them is a set of brand new Spode spice jars!
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Response to Le Baiseur.
No, my Spode is cream and lavenderish. I think it has roses on it....It was £4 and it says it is seconds. It's a dish like you might have cereal in.
I had to go lie down in the cinema afterwards watching Downton Abbey I was so overcome.....fans herself....

I've missed seeing your profile photo @Chocolategoggler

@Le Comte de Monte Cristo From the last thread:
nothing matches.. thats the problem with that heap...it reflexes the owners...no taste or sense at all...

i see her vlog is coming out..i guess the same tit she let her patreons eat yesterday...Madame is filming for ch4...it makes her so tired...

Of course nothing matches when you're patching together a home from charity shops!

 

[Jules100]

Could Oliver and Dan be filming a segment in Turkey?

Stephanie would never let that happen without her.

 

[Pekey]

How will Amaury evade Nasty Nutty when she has micro chipped him to track his every breath? I agree that he will need to get Natty all liquored up so she won’t notice he is gone until he is out of tracking range. Amaury, are you taking notes? You must be very careful to escape.

If the bikies don't dig the chip out ...... go to the Vet with your doggies and let him swipe his doda over you and he / she can dig it out !
No more Nasty Natti !!!

Poor beer guy- I don't really recall him, as poor guy has probably gotten FF'ed so many times on their vlog. Bless his heart! But the true question lies in- does he serve Miller Lite? If yes, @Jules100 and I will keep him!

I think Beer Guy was at the market..... yes he was! Remember she had a beer early in the morning there!
I am not a Beer girl so you and Jules can have him.... but, if he does wine......... Bang a Gong we are On !

 

[lalablahblah]

Dear Cameltoe,

Farting around in a hole with a tiny trowel makes you look worse in the work department then you already did...

Especially when we are presented with Snorts and the Tartan bloke - it's a no brainer................ I guess there's always Cuz, but sheesh, it would end up being a three way with Nasty clinging to him 24/7.


To be fair, it happened to Europe as well, just a lot longer ago - I'm pretty sure the Romans showed no respect for the laws, culture and languages of the countries they invaded either.

To be historically correct... The area was under Roman controll before it became France... There wasn't genocide involved either... Nobody floated in on a boat said they discovered and owned and already populated land mass... Then illegally immigrated committed genocide after the ancient inhabitants fed them to keep them alive all winter... Also historically correct Roman's did respect languages and cultures... Colonization breeds ignorance though I agree...

 

[Marquis de Potpourri]

Can Fanny ever stop grifting?

How will she survive?

Grifting is the only way Stephanie knows how to make money....unless she turns her beloved Lalande into a nursing home, ala her parents.

If she stops grifting, she has to marry money--a multi-millionaire or billionaire husband--ala Mr. Darcy.

Right now, all she has is an unattractive sugar baby fleecing her.

 

[OhIDontKnow...]

Did anybody catch the lyrics of the music she sprinkled over the episode? Something about forgiveness and can’t we forget about the past because all of this would stop without you? Sounds like someone is worried or sorry (I doubt it).

 

[Marquis de Potpourri]

And I forgot to add- the music is pretty awful unless one really likes "country" music! No Fanny, you are NOT Taylor Swift!

SJ started using Epidemic Sound. She is trying (and so far failing) to make her vlogs cool and relevant by changing up the music/genre. She should just stick to her signature intro music and stop making her vlogs sound like Dan's!

Something tells me that she has joined the Epidemic Sound Community Program in hopes that she could become an ambassador! Cha-ching!

How to use the Epidemic Sound Community Program

We’ve launched the Epidemic Sound Community Program, which allows creators to level up their content and earn money. Read all about it here.

www.epidemicsound.com

Anyhow...this woman (St. Kathy of Lidl) needs friends! Lots of them (if they could stand her) so she can stop treating YouTube like a therapist!

Now back to Lalande.

 

[HalcyonOrganic]

How will she survive?

Grifting is the only way Stephanie knows how to make money....unless she turns her beloved Lalande into a nursing home, ala her parents.

If she stops grifting, she has to marry money--a multi-millionaire or billionaire husband--ala Mr. Darcy.

Right now, all she has is an unattractive sugar baby fleecing her.

View attachment 1262956

Look, front to back: Radagast the Brown and Bilbo Baggins.

 

[Tea with lemon]

Regarding SJ's yellow dress ........
I adore David Atenborough, his documentaries and his voice in them. I watched everything I could that this man had ever filmed, and it was shown on our TV channels.
In an interview, a journalist asked him why he is always in the same blue shirt and beige pants.
The answer was very simple: We shoot in different parts of the world, for years. We always record something interesting on location that is not a topic of current interest. Depending on the theme of the documentary (birds around the world, climate, oceans) I can always use some old footage I remembered to be good or useful. Since I’m always in the same outfit inserting old shots isn’t a problem.

 

[Lady Avonlea]

And I forgot to add- the music is pretty awful unless one really likes "country" music! No Fanny, you are NOT Taylor Swift!

My beloved @Pekey, you've hit the nail on the head!

CD doesn't usually have much of a soundtrack, so I found the lyrics very interesting. It's the song 'Everything Stops' by Wildflower' It' plays at the 5:10 mark and at the 16:30 mark when Fanny's driving to the airport. Who is the song meant for?



Say you think about me because
I'm starting to doubt we
Will find our way back to each other
When you're on the other side of the world

I'm here and I'm waiting but
I know I can't say that
We didn't end it for good reasons
Still I'm hoping we'll be meeting soon

Everybody needs some time
To figure themselves out
But I want you close
And I still have hope
I'm waiting everyday
For you to come back
And tell me we can work it out
Forget ‘bout that past
Now time moves slow
I'm not high or low
No I'm somewhere in the middlе
And a little bit messed up
‘Causе without you
Everything stops

I'm feeling so lonely when
You never phone me
I put your picture on my windowsill
To make myself feel alright

But I knew it would not be easy
Spending time apart and I almost can't believe it
Believe that you're gone
And I don't think this will get better
Until you come around

I guess that
Everybody needs some time
To figure themselves out
But I want you close
And I still have hope
I'm waiting everyday
For you to come back
And tell me we can work it out
Forget ‘bout that past
Now time moves slow
I'm not high or low
No I'm somewhere in the middle
And a little bit messed up
‘Cause without you
Everything stops

Ooh
Ooh
Ooh, ooh

But I want you close
And I still have hope
I'm waiting everyday
For you to come back
And tell me we can work it out
Forget ‘bout that past
Now time moves slow
I'm not high or low
No I'm somewhere in the middle
And a little bit messed up
‘Cause without you
Everything stops
Oh-whoa
Without you
Everything stops

 

[Frenchie0810]

USELESS DOUCHEBAG

I wonder if shortly Phi Phi will be saying he has some kind of medical condition causing hair loss. He is up to something wearing that beanie in warm weather.

 

[Lady Avonlea]

How will she survive?

Grifting is the only way Stephanie knows how to make money....unless she turns her beloved Lalande into a nursing home, ala her parents.

If she stops grifting, she has to marry money--a multi-millionaire or billionaire husband--ala Mr. Darcy.

Right now, all she has is an unattractive sugar baby fleecing her.

View attachment 1262956

Philip is just a gauche, grifting, goldbricking, glorified waiter.

 

[Clara Burnett]

The gnome from scotland dressed in tartan.. has arrived...just in time for the CH4 filming..i guess..he always like to stick his tartan red nose in when the camera turns on..i bet he did the painting...in that marquiess appartment..i bet that footage was old..

Like you said, the brother of another mother is probably flown in for the ch4 filming, the reveal of what they've been doing in the Marquis sitting room. I bet the Argentinian Bully is happy he's back (as in NOT). She can't understand a word he's saying and vice versa, which really annoys Nutty because she can't control him. I have witnessed the tension between the two and it felt like a volcano's about to burst. Better hope there's no guests around....

Jeez Dana’s falafels have made an appearance again.

For the love of...whatever: I have no clue why they keep ranting how delicious Dana's falafels are. They are not! I have tasted them myself and they are dry and have a very sandy texture. They don't even deserve to be called falafels.

 

[AndAnotherName]

Yes Amaury ....... I have a garden shed down the back yard you can hide in........ I will put a heater in there too ! I am not on the west coast but Oz is bloody big and we have snakes .

Oh Rexy ...... that wimpy Oliver ..... hey, what happened to Fanny and Ollie Traveling Show????

I recommend the Northern Territory Amaury. There are people out there still lost after 200 years of occupation by the white man!

 

[Lady Avonlea]

Only two words for today's CD ' Crazy Town'!!! Indeed, Crazy Town perfectly sums up Chateau de la Lande.

Fanny - scraping the bottom of the barrel for content. Pulling the weeds was pathetic , but I'll give her credit for getting down on the ground and doing some planting. (which is more than Snorty did) Woman, do stop singing!

Kirstie - Superstar. Please wear some sunscreen and a hat.

Nancy the Chicken - Bears a strong resemblance with Snorty, although Nancy has more hair

Is it Summer or Winter? Amuary is topless, Gerry is in shorts, Natti is in a winter sweater, Fanny is in a cotton summer dress and Snorty is wearing a touque and wool scarf!

Sharon - 100% Certifiable. Who wears a tiara around all the time? I would actually like to put Sharon, Dana and Hanni together with an oversized bottler of champers and watch them descend together into sheer, chaotic madness.

Snorty - Waste of space!!!

Nic the Tree Surgeon - Rock on brother!

Amuary - The only adult in the room - thank you for watering the plants since Fanny & Snorty were pre-occupied with cocktails

Grant - please save the unfinished, forlorn pergola! New Sherriff indeed! Looking forward to Grant facing off against Snorty!

 

[Clara Burnett]

Yes, that's what I saw....and then, of course, Stephanie said that Davey told her that they'd only have to water these plants for two years and that she didn't need to invest in any sort of permanent irrigation system. None of those plants take care of themselves, except for maybe some of the shrubs they've planted, but even they'll need water after two years. None of them are native plants - except maybe that hedge thing that Dan moved to the area - and there will be times, especially during the hot summer months, when they will have to water once a week, even when that garden is established......if it ever gets to that point.

Actually from what I've heard there's already massive damage to what they have planted, due to pests and woodland creatures coming to dinner. She's trying to cover that fact up (obviously) by saying it all looks so wonderful but there's already gaps appearing in the planting scheme and summer hasn't even started. I would not be surprised if this was one of the last times she will give that area a front seat in her flogs as it will become more and more clear in which direction it's growing and it ain't gonna be pretty.

 

[Jeeves]

Could Oliver and Dan be filming a segment in Turkey?

Would Her Fannyness ever pass up the opportunity to escape the HMN?

 

[UvulaDonor]

Fannys singing reminds me of the woman in the Florence Foster Jenkins movie (Hugh Grant and Meryl Streep) except Fanny exhibits no generosity to anyone but herself.

When I very first heard SJ's singing - I started to doubt my ability to judge. For a moment I was thinking maybe I'd got it wrong and she must be a good opera singer because she had been in productions and had singing workshops that she joined in at CDLL - but what I was hearing, I didn't think was very good. I think it gave me some momentary cognitive dissonance.

 

[Clara Burnett]

Does Clara know what happened with the Ollie and Fanny travel vlog ?

The official story is that they are waiting for a good moment to launch. When I heard that, I thought: good as in "personal time to do stuff she does not want our eyes on ", so she can distract us with it. But to be honest, my gut tells me that Ollie's wife has realized the backlash they could face from partnering so close with the charlataine and has talked her husband out of it. Also, Stephanie Jarvis knows her fans want her to be at the HMN right now and the excessive traveling she already enjoyed this year does not help her to free up more time for it.