The Chateau Diaries #144 For $300/m my Patreons get an original copy of my fanny on a photocopier, signed

[Marquis de Potpourri]

The best way to describe today's vlog is, that it's like SJ's life—it has so much in it but no real substance!! It's got everything and nothing.

She entitles it "Transforming the Chateau Woodlands" but features work on the actual woodland in a little less than 4 minutes.

The woman is scraping the bottom of the content barrel.

 

[T Rex]

The best way to describe today's vlog is, that it's like SJ's life—it has so much in it but no real substance!! It's got everything and nothing.

She entitles it "Transforming the Chateau Woodlands" but features work on the actual woodland in a little less than 4 minutes.

The woman is scraping the bottom of the content barrel.

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And I forgot to add- the music is pretty awful unless one really likes "country" music! No Fanny, you are NOT Taylor Swift!

Well Jules...... they live at the "Temple of Doom "!

My beloved @Pekey, you've hit the nail on the head!

 

[graciemckitten]

If Fanny’s an opera singer than I’m the Pope. That was simply awful.

I have to mute the volume when she starts “singing.”

 

[Pekey]

Run, Amaury- RUN! That poor bloke looks like he is ready to lose his shite at any second now. I'm sure Herr Nuti is not helping matters either in her role as "Psycho Clingy Girlfriend"!

Amaury........ at night when the Chateau has had a big night in ... everyone FULL of drink and drugs ....... get your packed bag and get out of there !
Now for the tools ....... arrange your local friendly Bikies to get all the stuff - Tree Man is sure to know the Hell's Angels, Gypsy Jokers or Bandidos etc ... throw a bit of money at them and bingo ..... back to sanity but don't tell Nutti where you are as she will come and get you 1
You need to go "under cover" for a number of years ..... that old girl is desperate !

 

[graciemckitten]

The best way to describe today's vlog is, that it's like SJ's life—it has so much in it but no real substance!! It's got everything and nothing.

She entitles it "Transforming the Chateau Woodlands" but features work on the actual woodland in a little less than 4 minutes.

The woman is scraping the bottom of the content barrel.

View attachment 1262919

Remember Rule no. 1 with Fanny: if her lips are moving ( or her fingers are typing), there is a more than 50% chance she is lying. Whenever in doubt, apply Rule no. 1 to Fanny’s communications (written, verbal, or video). Rule no. 1 usually gives you the correct answer in regard to the Shittelaine’s actions. Lying and misleading people is so La Lande!

And keep in mind the unofficial Fanny Jarvis coat of arms motto, “ Something for Nothing.” Above all, a grifters got to grift, by any means possible.

 

[Pekey]

There aren't many options at the Shitoo- you've got Baby Jesus Jeans, Scotman, Percy, Potty (in a relationship), Headless Nick (married to the awesome Marie, not to be confused with Roadside Flower Killer), Dan (who thinks he IS Casey Niestat), Davy (who, bless his heart, resembles if one crossed Prince Charles with a preying mantis) and the honorable mentions of the likes of Sillymar, the Ians (who are both married- not to one another- that would be odd AF), Mason the Stargazer (who is a ho), Matt (he's divorced and moved back to the UK), Shrek (married as well), Tomaz (ew), the elusive chapel restorer (who's like 100 years old) and Teabag. I digress- save the goat cheese man, who we have not seen in a million vlogs (sadness, as he was pretty hot- I think it was either @CountessPompidoo or @ScarlettoShara that ran off with him...) Amaury is not all that, but compared to the rest of the lot, I can see his appeal, but Herr Nuti will put a stop to that, as she immediately peed on him and claimed him as her own. So, I can't hate on anyone that finds the Tree Man attractive- compared the the rest of the Shitoo lot, he's top billing. Plus, he actually does manual labour, is kind to animals, and gives two forks about Fanny's BS- he is there to do a job, and is REALLY knowledgeable about trees. You go Nick-the-Tree-Man- you're like the Dos Equis guy at a Chateau in France!

Rexy........ you forgot that wimpy Tracing Oliver !

 

[M&MsMom]

Snorts skedaddled to make drinks. Must keep Fanny loaded at all times.


My understanding is that you just can't turn the sprinkler on -- you have to fill a giant tank with water and drive it in, connect the system to it, and then turn on the sprinkler.

Yes, that's what I saw....and then, of course, Stephanie said that Davey told her that they'd only have to water these plants for two years and that she didn't need to invest in any sort of permanent irrigation system. None of those plants take care of themselves, except for maybe some of the shrubs they've planted, but even they'll need water after two years. None of them are native plants - except maybe that hedge thing that Dan moved to the area - and there will be times, especially during the hot summer months, when they will have to water once a week, even when that garden is established......if it ever gets to that point.

 

[graciemckitten]

Fannys singing reminds me of the woman in the Florence Foster Jenkins movie (Hugh Grant and Meryl Streep) except Fanny exhibits no generosity to anyone but herself.

 

[T Rex]

Amaury........ at night when the Chateau has had a big night in ... everyone FULL of drink and drugs ....... get your packed bag and get out of there !
Now for the tools ....... arrange your local friendly Bikies to get all the stuff - Tree Man is sure to know the Hell's Angels, Gypsy Jokers or Bandidos etc ... throw a bit of money at them and bingo ..... back to sanity but don't tell Nutti where you are as she will come and get you 1
You need to go "under cover" for a number of years ..... that old girl is desperate !

And please, Amaury, for your own good (because Herr Nuti has spies everywhere) stay out ANY South American country. Australia (west coast) is probably your best bet- neither Fanny nor Herr Nuti would even look for you there.

Rexy........ you forgot that wimpy Tracing Oliver !

My dear @Pekey , I seriously thought I had mentioned "Jolly Olly", but did not! My bad! That goes to show you how significant he is!

 

[Pekey]

And please, Amaury, for your own good (because Herr Nuti has spies everywhere) stay out ANY South American country. Australia (west coast) is probably your best bet- neither Fanny nor Herr Nuti would even look for you there.

Yes Amaury ....... I have a garden shed down the back yard you can hide in........ I will put a heater in there too ! I am not on the west coast but Oz is bloody big and we have snakes .

Oh Rexy ...... that wimpy Oliver ..... hey, what happened to Fanny and Ollie Traveling Show????

 

[M&MsMom]

There aren't many options at the Shitoo- you've got Baby Jesus Jeans, Scotman, Percy, Potty (in a relationship), Headless Nick (married to the awesome Marie, not to be confused with Roadside Flower Killer), Dan (who thinks he IS Casey Niestat), Davy (who, bless his heart, resembles if one crossed Prince Charles with a preying mantis) and the honorable mentions of the likes of Sillymar, the Ians (who are both married- not to one another- that would be odd AF), Mason the Stargazer (who is a ho), Matt (he's divorced and moved back to the UK), Shrek (married as well), Tomaz (ew), the elusive chapel restorer (who's like 100 years old) and Teabag. I digress- save the goat cheese man, who we have not seen in a million vlogs (sadness, as he was pretty hot- I think it was either @CountessPompidoo or @ScarlettoShara that ran off with him...) Amaury is not all that, but compared to the rest of the lot, I can see his appeal, but Herr Nuti will put a stop to that, as she immediately peed on him and claimed him as her own. So, I can't hate on anyone that finds the Tree Man attractive- compared the the rest of the Shitoo lot, he's top billing. Plus, he actually does manual labour, is kind to animals, and gives two forks about Fanny's BS- he is there to do a job, and is REALLY knowledgeable about trees. You go Nick-the-Tree-Man- you're like the Dos Equis guy at a Chateau in France!

I can see you've put a lot of thought into this to come up with your fair assessment of the situation!
You forgot about the beer guy at the market....we've seen him a couple of times now. If he's not your thing, you can rest assured that by the time he fills you up with beer, it won't matter!

 

[graciemckitten]

I bet when Phillis goes missing she finds him in the attic fingering all

Amaury........ at night when the Chateau has had a big night in ... everyone FULL of drink and drugs ....... get your packed bag and get out of there !
Now for the tools ....... arrange your local friendly Bikies to get all the stuff - Tree Man is sure to know the Hell's Angels, Gypsy Jokers or Bandidos etc ... throw a bit of money at them and bingo ..... back to sanity but don't tell Nutti where you are as she will come and get you 1
You need to go "under cover" for a number of years ..... that old girl is desperate !

How will Amaury evade Nasty Nutty when she has micro chipped him to track his every breath? I agree that he will need to get Natty all liquored up so she won’t notice he is gone until he is out of tracking range. Amaury, are you taking notes? You must be very careful to escape.

 

[T Rex]

Yes Amaury ....... I have a garden shed down the back yard you can hide in........ I will put a heater in there too ! I am not on the west coast but Oz is bloody big and we have snakes .

Oh Rexy ...... that wimpy Oliver ..... hey, what happened to Fanny and Ollie Traveling Show????

@Pekey, it looks like their hopes and dreams to start their own Travel Channel have been dashed. How dare you, viewers?!? It was going to be "Parrfect!"

 

[Le Baiseur]

The best way to describe today's vlog is, that it's like SJ's life—it has so much in it but no real substance!! It's got everything and nothing.

She entitles it "Transforming the Chateau Woodlands" but features work on the actual woodland in a little less than 4 minutes.

The woman is scraping the bottom of the content barrel.

View attachment 1262919

Scraping the bottom of the barrel and sopping it up with that tired dress.

 

[graciemckitten]

OK now, Caroline Bingley!
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Can Fanny ever stop grifting?

 

[T Rex]

I can see you've put a lot of thought into this to come up with your fair assessment of the situation!
You forgot about the beer guy at the market....we've seen him a couple of times now. If he's not your thing, you can rest assured that by the time he fills you up with beer, it won't matter!

Poor beer guy- I don't really recall him, as poor guy has probably gotten FF'ed so many times on their vlog. Bless his heart! But the true question lies in- does he serve Miller Lite? If yes, @Jules100 and I will keep him!

 

[Le Baiseur]

Oh Rexy ...... that wimpy Oliver ..... hey, what happened to Fanny and Ollie Traveling Show????

Could Oliver and Dan be filming a segment in Turkey?

 

[T Rex]

Can Fanny ever stop grifting?

Le NON. Grifting keeps her in her lifestyle. Can you imagine Fanny actually getting a REAL job? What would she actually do? Sing terrible opera? Faff about at Spode or Limoges? We've already seen her fine (sic) Christie's tastemaker skills. "What do you MEAN I have to get up before 11AM and actually do something to earn my keep- I AM FAMOUS on YouTube!"

 

[graciemckitten]

Could Oliver and Dan be filming a segment in Turkey?

Does Clara know what happened with the Ollie and Fanny travel vlog ?

 

[shaken&stirred]

How will Amaury evade Nasty Nutty when she has micro chipped him to track his every breath? I agree that he will need to get Natty all liquored up so she won’t notice he is gone until he is out of tracking range. Amaury, are you taking notes? You must be very careful to escape.

Amaury will have to steal the jar Nutty keeps his nads in before he bolts. I'm sure it was either that or a chastity belt.