The Chateau Diaries #144 For $300/m my Patreons get an original copy of my fanny on a photocopier, signed

[Madame de Pompanddoodoo]

I wonder if shortly Phi Phi will be saying he has some kind of medical condition causing hair loss. He is up to something wearing that beanie in warm weather.

Dan is Squirrel‘s surrogate and has gone to Turkey to have a hair transplant for him. When Dan reappears the beanie will disappear and Squirrel will miraculously sport a new head of hair. Well that’s my theory and I’m sticking to it.

 

[Elviemary]

If I was forced to pick one... I'd have the musician who made the bread cheesy egg thing in the bread oven... He was tall, funny, intelligent, not afraid of work... he was a fun, interesting guy...

I must confess to having a soft spot for Oliver.

 

[lalablahblah]

That thumbnail... I was thinking wtf is that in his hand... Looks like Rob Zombies Dad is holding some weird looking chicken... That moomoo whatever dress is fugly...

 

[M&MsMom]

Does Clara know what happened with the Ollie and Fanny travel vlog ?

Didn't Stephanie say something is "going on" with Oliver and that she "will leave it to him to tell us about it when he is ready?"
I think the speculation was he and his wife were separating?

 

[KiKiGee]

Yesterday's, 5/12/22, CD's live chat...

Stephanie Jarvis is busy with C4/Chateau DIY. She is forgetting who pays her bills.
Nathan Payne I was surprised to see this on for 4:15! They're usually set for 3:15 where I am...
Healing Gardens-Terri Bowlby-Chiasson @Nathan Payne Stephanie posted a message saying it would be a little bit later today
John E. Coughlan @Nathan Payne they were filming for a DYI.


Yesenia from L.A. Kindly press the Button with your favorite finger

Where's Dan...
Linda Elliott Does anyone know what’s happened to Dans vlogs I haven’t seen any for a few days now?
Cathy Miller @Linda Elliott I believe he's travelling someplace. His Instagram from 4 days ago indicated a vlog was coming soon but it looked he was not at home. Appeared to be at a hotel someplace.
John E. Coughlan @Linda Elliott I imagine Dan's big projects got too big, and he had no time to edit.

Maybe, never???
Percy Attfield hello all.
Percy Attfield @Sharon waiting for Visa process to complete. Could be a while.

Again, Stephanie Jarvis is busy with C4.
Charlene Sandhu Waiting for emails to be answered stephanie
Janet Kennedy grrr not getting notifications!

Again, where is Dan???
Noelle Stanton Is Dan ok?
jannebu Anyone know how Dan is? It's over a week since he posted a video last, I am starting to get concern about him
Judith Barden @ jannebu he is away
jannebu @Judith Barden good to hear that Dan is just away. Must have missed the notice
Lee Kempter I thought that Dan had left and moved away

Get it together sis...
The Chateau Diaries Hello everyone! Sorry I’m late into the première - we’re filming for a couple of days so we’re working late into the night!
Nathan Payne @the Chateau Diaries I'm a tad delayed in my response, though I notice that the weed-removing music was once agin, both out of place and perfectly fitting!

Milagro Guardiola
$4.99
Hello all!!!
The Chateau Diaries @Milagro Guardiola Hello Milagro! Thank you so much! I hope you’re well today


Tracy Llewellyn @the Chateau Diaries my chickens loved it until~~~
Tracy Llewellyn My chickens destroyed the chicken swing!!!
The Chateau Diaries @Tracy Llewellyn I hope my chickens go onto the swing at all! It’s still very new to them

Patricia always brings the drama...
Patricia Jamieson Sorry I'm late, My boyfriend stole my vehicle and left on Monday and the vehicle got returned on a truck yesterday so I have been up for a few days and very many feelings... but here I am
Patricia Jamieson @Sidra Shirazi, @Jill Scott, and all others thank you I'm 63 and think I can handle it but he left his 2 cats and I just realized I can't find my tool bag
Patricia Jamieson @Judith Barden it's rough and puzzling at the moment and a little sad and mad and shocked still discovering things he cared about more than his 2 cats and our new dog
Patricia Jamieson YAY I found my toolbag I was so sad about it

Where is Dan???
Weasel™ @the Chateau Diaries where's Dan? No video for days!
The Chateau Diaries @Weasel He’ll be back very soon and all will be revealed
Darci DeVough (Fisher) last of Dans message from YT or Instagram looked like he was flying to America

Sharon wrapped a guest in her whip, Katie thinks it FRK.
Katie Roberts Art Was that beautiful Marie?
Jimmy Connolly Well, she’s not one bit shy.
The Chateau Diaries Sharon is amazing
Darci DeVough (Fisher )I saw her the morning I was leaving..I never got to be introduced
Sharon There are two Sharons here, I am not the whip master, but I am a Patron!
DeAnn P @Sharon oops

Jimmy, the patrons are paying for Gerry's apartment. However, you are correct about the dress.
Jimmy Connolly Life is way too short. Gerald!!! Sell up and move to Lalande.
Jimmy Connolly That’s the dumper dress

...more shopping...
L A @the Chateau Diaries will you be adding any big statues in the garden? It would really be beautiful if you did
The Chateau Diaries @L A Yes, I definitely will be!

Jumpsuit Jill with the answer...
Oli Cawood what is the relationship between gerold and steph
Jill Scott @oli cawood like a brother, always been part of her life
Jill Scott @oli cawood. yes. he has been in her life since she was a child and lived with them

Cornish Coves
CA$20.00
The Chateau Diaries @Cornish Coves Thank you so much, that’s incredibly kind of you!

Parties, pancakes, and spin offs...
Sidonie Jansson So many Lalande friends at once. Wow. Will it be a week end Party`?
Sidonie Jansson It looks so good with the ukranian pancakes
Not Quite a Chateau DIY French project Tell Dana we have JB tattoo in Lignieres this Saturday !!! she likes a music night
Sharon Nice to see Dana again, so beautiful and so stylish not to mention such a good cook!
Michelle Bennett I think we need another channel dedicated to all the wonderful cooking in the kitchen

NORMAL???
The Chateau Diaries Good night from Lalande to all of you lovely people
Chelle Wales GIVE THE THUMBS UP PEEPS
Laura Claudia So happy to see La Lande like on old days!!!! Normality!!!!!


Heather L I hope Michael Pethrick comes back to visit soon!



Product placement, music and (sooo many) where is DAN...
A Simple Life
5 hours ago (edited)
Steph its not kind its called "Product placement" they don't pay you but benefit from you showing on your videos, Pure business Steph. Sadly they ar all plastic are the recycled? shame no wood or natural materials. PLEASE! Steph don't start doing product placement in your videos! please.. its spoils the video

REPLY

The Chateau Diaries
3 hours ago
They sent our beautiful chicken coop which is entirely made of wood

A Simple Life
5 hours ago (edited)
Hey Steph. WHY?! Have you changed the music it sounds like Dan blogs and others I follow. PLEASE use your MUSIC! please do not listen to youtube staff! Please don't change what is not broken Steph we loved you just as you were..and the videos please keep the charm that you are renowned for.. "If it ain't broke don't fix it" I can see the influence its really sad to see the beautiful Chateau Diaries changing loosing its character, charm and authenticity, please be true to yourself first

REPLY

The Chateau Diaries
3 hours ago
I didn’t really use much music before, except for the intro and outro. I’m trying to have more little b-roll scenes of the chateau and the surrounding area so that everyone can experience it too. That’s why I’ve been looking for music for those moments. It doesn’t come from YouTube, it’s just me

The Chateau Diaries
3 hours ago
He’s away for an exciting reason and all will be revealed soon

 

[M&MsMom]

Actually from what I've heard there's already massive damage to what they have planted, due to pests and woodland creatures coming to dinner. She's trying to cover that fact up (obviously) by saying it all looks so wonderful but there's already gaps appearing in the planting scheme and summer hasn't even started. I would not be surprised if this was one of the last times she will give that area a front seat in her flogs as it will become more and more clear in which direction it's growing and it ain't gonna be pretty.

I predicted those gaps in the garden, although I didn't expect them so soon. I haven't watched yesterday's vlog yet, but I have found it interesting that in the one or two vlogs since the planting, we haven't really seen much of a view of the new garden, just close ups of whatever spot she's in.

That song's for DAN

Doesn't Dan do the editing? If so, then Dan probably picked it out............

 

[Madame de Pompanddoodoo]

Dan is Squirrel‘s surrogate and has gone to Turkey to have a hair transplant for him. When Dan reappears the beanie will disappear and Squirrel will miraculously sport a new head of hair. Well that’s my theory and I’m sticking to it.

Weasel™ @the Chateau Diaries where's Dan? No video for days!
The Chateau Diaries @Weasel He’ll be back very soon and all will be revealed

See I told you the big reveal is imminent.

 

[MagpieSassyPants]

Where's our apology?


Okay Maggie, you're nominated to take one for the team... report back here, was he attentive, thoughtful and caring in the sack? Or did he rip through your ladygarden, turf your insides out then roll a ciggy while you burned?

por que no los dos?

 

[Iolair]

There aren't many options at the Shitoo- you've got Baby Jesus Jeans, Scotman, Percy, Potty (in a relationship), Headless Nick (married to the awesome Marie, not to be confused with Roadside Flower Killer), Dan (who thinks he IS Casey Niestat), Davy (who, bless his heart, resembles if one crossed Prince Charles with a preying mantis) and the honorable mentions of the likes of Sillymar, the Ians (who are both married- not to one another- that would be odd AF), Mason the Stargazer (who is a ho), Matt (he's divorced and moved back to the UK), Shrek (married as well), Tomaz (ew), the elusive chapel restorer (who's like 100 years old) and Teabag. I digress- save the goat cheese man, who we have not seen in a million vlogs (sadness, as he was pretty hot- I think it was either @CountessPompidoo or @ScarlettoShara that ran off with him...) Amaury is not all that, but compared to the rest of the lot, I can see his appeal, but Herr Nuti will put a stop to that, as she immediately peed on him and claimed him as her own. So, I can't hate on anyone that finds the Tree Man attractive- compared the the rest of the Shitoo lot, he's top billing. Plus, he actually does manual labour, is kind to animals, and gives two forks about Fanny's BS- he is there to do a job, and is REALLY knowledgeable about trees. You go Nick-the-Tree-Man- you're like the Dos Equis guy at a Chateau in France!

Late morning and barely awake after a difficult sleep, I'm on my first cuppa, and I already know that - Davy being a cross between Prince Charles and a praying mantis - is the very best thing I'm going to read all day! Nothing will top it! Just picturing it will keep me smiling for the entire day ahead!

 

[KiKiGee]

From Dan's last (disaster) flog comments...

Chris Brennen
10 hours ago
Hey Dan are you ok or on holiday

karenvknight
12 hours ago
Where is Dan. Did I miss something - is he away.

Kathleen B Quinlan
15 hours ago
Where are you Dan hope everything is ok with you. Missing you it seems ages since you posted. Hopefully we will be seeing you soon.

Michele MacQuarrie
16 hours ago
Where are you? We need a Dan Vlog. We miss you.

B Wortham
1 day ago
Did you get stuck in your "underground bunker"?!? We haven't seen anything from you since you made this video.

My Pioneer Girl
1 day ago
you ok? I miss seeing your vlogs! Hope your not trapped in the "bunker"

Susanne Johnson
1 day ago
I can't believe I bought into it. That was truly a sneaky thing to do. When is your next video coming out?

Linda Stansfield
2 days ago
Where are you Dan?

La Maison en Champagne
2 days ago
Hi Dan, hope all is ok with you, missing your vlogs

Debbie Rudolph
2 days ago
Where are you Dan we are missing your vlogs.

Pari Isabella
2 days ago
What’s happened to Dan? The vlogs are no longer about Him but La Lande! Great pity you have changed your style of the vlogs!

 

[CountessPompidoo]

There aren't many options at the Shitoo- you've got Baby Jesus Jeans, Scotman, Percy, Potty (in a relationship), Headless Nick (married to the awesome Marie, not to be confused with Roadside Flower Killer), Dan (who thinks he IS Casey Niestat), Davy (who, bless his heart, resembles if one crossed Prince Charles with a preying mantis) and the honorable mentions of the likes of Sillymar, the Ians (who are both married- not to one another- that would be odd AF), Mason the Stargazer (who is a ho), Matt (he's divorced and moved back to the UK), Shrek (married as well), Tomaz (ew), the elusive chapel restorer (who's like 100 years old) and Teabag. I digress- save the goat cheese man, who we have not seen in a million vlogs (sadness, as he was pretty hot- I think it was either @CountessPompidoo or @ScarlettoShara that ran off with him...) Amaury is not all that, but compared to the rest of the lot, I can see his appeal, but Herr Nuti will put a stop to that, as she immediately peed on him and claimed him as her own. So, I can't hate on anyone that finds the Tree Man attractive- compared the the rest of the Shitoo lot, he's top billing. Plus, he actually does manual labour, is kind to animals, and gives two forks about Fanny's BS- he is there to do a job, and is REALLY knowledgeable about trees. You go Nick-the-Tree-Man- you're like the Dos Equis guy at a Chateau in France!

you kill me @T Rex
Firstly, I need to quash your theory about my good self and goat cheese man. He’s too much of a slut for me I’m afraid. Damaged goodsespecially if he’s been anywhere near Mrs Falafal or Steffie
And secondly when you wrote ‘Davy (who, bless his heart, resembles if one crossed Prince Charles with a preying mantis)’ I nearly choked on my elevensies.
That’s exactly what he looks like. You’re a genius - albeit a misinformed one when it comes to matters of the heart, which in this case, belongs to Count P
Unless Al Pacino comes courting. Don’t tell Count P

 

[MRShavershamsdress]

Only two words for today's CD ' Crazy Town'!!! Indeed, Crazy Town perfectly sums up Chateau de la Lande.

Fanny - scraping the bottom of the barrel for content. Pulling the weeds was pathetic , but I'll give her credit for getting down on the ground and doing some planting. (which is more than Snorty did) Woman, do stop singing!

Kirstie - Superstar. Please wear some sunscreen and a hat.

Nancy the Chicken - Bears a strong resemblance with Snorty, although Nancy has more hair

Is it Summer or Winter? Amuary is topless, Gerry is in shorts, Natti is in a winter sweater, Fanny is in a cotton summer dress and Snorty is wearing a touque and wool scarf!

Sharon - 100% Certifiable. Who wears a tiara around all the time? I would actually like to put Sharon, Dana and Hanni together with an oversized bottler of champers and watch them descend together into sheer, chaotic madness.

Snorty - Waste of space!!!

Nic the Tree Surgeon - Rock on brother!

Amuary - The only adult in the room - thank you for watering the plants since Fanny & Snorty were pre-occupied with cocktails

Grant - please save the unfinished, forlorn pergola! New Sherriff indeed! Looking forward to Grant facing off against Snorty!

View attachment 1262972

Okay, so am I the only one who looks into Gerry’s eyes and sees the madness within that tartan mess?!? He looks like he’s just one Stuart plaid from mass murder!

 

[KiKiGee]

The real praying mantis is Stephanie Jarvis.

Davy is keeping his distance and is on speed dial.

 

[Lady Avonlea]

Weasel™ @the Chateau Diaries where's Dan? No video for days!
The Chateau Diaries @Weasel He’ll be back very soon and all will be revealed

See I told you the big reveal is imminent.

Do you think we'll be able to notice the difference?

 

[MRShavershamsdress]

I might out myself and say I've got an underlip ring.
Facial piercings are not everybody's cup of tea and that is fair.
I will say from my side of the perspective, the idiom Don't Judge A Book By It's Cover certainly rings true.
So many people tend to dismiss me after seeing me and my piercing, only for me to do better than them - it gets me every time.

I could say something of the same. Anyone meeting me in a formal setting would think me a buttoned up member of the hoi oligoi. Yet should they see me at say…Southern Decadence with my multiple piercings, ink and leather they would realize judging folks by appearance only is a reckless endeavor.

 

[Madame de Pompanddoodoo]

Okay, so am I the only one who looks into Gerry’s eyes and sees the madness within that tartan mess?!? He looks like he’s just one Stuart plaid from mass murder!

No I’m with you all the way on this.

 

[WMGL]

The best way to describe today's vlog is, that it's like SJ's life—it has so much in it but no real substance!! It's got everything and nothing.

She entitles it "Transforming the Chateau Woodlands" but features work on the actual woodland in a little less than 4 minutes.

The woman is scraping the bottom of the content barrel.

View attachment 1262919

She is also scraping the bottom of the wardrobe closet!! Lose the dress.

 

[Silascat]

To be historically correct... The area was under Roman controll before it became France... There wasn't genocide involved either... Nobody floated in on a boat said they discovered and owned and already populated land mass... Then illegally immigrated committed genocide after the ancient inhabitants fed them to keep them alive all winter... Also historically correct Roman's did respect languages and cultures... Colonization breeds ignorance though I agree...

what about the vikings? dark ages?

 

[mrsp67]

I can see you've put a lot of thought into this to come up with your fair assessment of the situation!
You forgot about the beer guy at the market....we've seen him a couple of times now. If he's not your thing, you can rest assured that by the time he fills you up with beer, it won't matter!

I’ll take him, all the others are to skinny, I need a chunk of a man!

 

[Sasha Groves]

He really does, absolutely nothing to offer, hangs around Fannie like a blind dog, afraid to leave her side.. I've also noticed when he makes suggestions, where she used to agree and tell him how clever he was, she now gives an alternative... If he says "that would be perfect in the Grand Salon" she'll now come up with another area... I think she's reading here and noticing his slippers under her bed

My thoughts exactly. If he was really working in the tit’o he wouldn’t be up SJ’s arse the whole time.
Take the Flurries, you don’t see Philip following Anna around and when she paints he paints, when she gardens he gardens, when he plants she plants. They both work hard and on separate projects to get more accomplished.
That painting part was a complete set up, his brush looked like it’d been dipped in the paint pot once - virtually brand new still.
They are like school kids following each other around and doing everything together. It’s not cute it’s desperate.
He must be crippled with insecurity and the fear that if she’s out of his sight he’ll loose his hold on her.