The Chateau Diaries #106 Even as a grifter she is quite stupid

[Pekey]

(oh, how I'd love to eat a pan Ghiradelli brownies about now- 2 boxes of the mix are haunting my pantry right now!), but I will stay strong!

Oh Ghiradelli makes brownie cake mixes??
Some years ago we could buy Ghiradelli hot chocolate in a fancy Department store here in Australia .... OMG that hot chocolate was delish!
Sadly they stopped importing it ..... I have tried others but that Ghiradelli was The Best.
Mmmmmm Ghiradelli Brownies.

Is this Sleeping with Selmar episode to have happened when IJ was in the house?

Oh I do not think so ........ I mean Selmar would be looking to sleep with Mummy...... I mean - those Legs!!!

 

[OhIDontKnow...]

OMG, @T Rex , I wish I was as successful as you are with the psychology! Years of politeness, and the most outspoken I ever was was to blame it on his shirt , and threaten to burn it.....because of the high to heaven rankness!
Any further advice, anyone, re: encouraging males to practise daily body hygiene? (asking for a friend! )

Tell them they smell funny and ask if they’ve been to the doctor? If they get upset, tell them that there’s several health conditions that could cause them to smell weird and you are just concerned for their health. They will then start washing and smelling themselves to figure out if you are correct. Tell them they smell a bit like cheese or rotten fruit. That will freak them out. Then if they say they can’t smell anything, tell them it’s because they’ve gotten used it to it.

 

[Pekey]

Stephanme, it's 2022 & women are empowered. No woman needs to be that desperate for a lay. You can do it all for yourself girlfiend! It's a new year and time for a new you! Resolution - de-clutter your life, put out the garbage and discard your usefuless boyfriend

Yes it is 2022 - come on Fanny - Girl Power !!
Why doesn't she dial up a male escort for the night .... hell Teabag could tell her how to do it and she could have a different guy anytime.... a surfie blonde one night , a bald guy with pecks , Red head and handy with a hammer , elegant Italian to chase you around the kitchen etc.
Men come in an assortment of choices.... and I am sure they would put on a camel toe pant if she feels nostalgic !
Lets face it .... she has the money honey !!

 

[Sparrowsfart]

OMG, @T Rex , I wish I was as successful as you are with the psychology! Years of politeness, and the most outspoken I ever was was to blame it on his shirt , and threaten to burn it.....because of the high to heaven rankness!
Any further advice, anyone, re: encouraging males to practise daily body hygiene? (asking for a friend! )

If they are smelly it does get into their clothes and doesn't come out in the wash. My hubby had to borrow a shirt from a friend. I washed it and was ironing it to return, and I was nearly gagging as the heat from the iron bought out the smell of the other guy.

 

[Clara Burnett]

Sorry about recommending a previously used thread title - how quickly one forgets!

Is this Sleeping with Selmar episode to have happened when IJ was in the house? Thinking of time lines from when Selmar arrived at start of lock down.

Oh yes, from what I remember IJ was definitely there.

 

[Rory]

@Clara Burnett OMG that really shocks me.

As I said in an earlier post SJ’s work started off so well….sigh!

 

[tat life]

Good for Dan for repairing original doors and locks. My little 1908 bungalow has its original front door and l love it. It's solid fir with a beveled glass, oval window. I stripped layers of paint off it, but still need to sand it down and oil it. Ugh. Maybe next summer? When I reno'd the kitchen, I bought a vintage door (also fir) and it looks like it's always been there. My old kitchen door was a modern, plastic monstrosity. I just hated it. The "old, plastic door" was probably more energy efficient than the antique, wood one I replaced it with, but the antique wood door is SO much nicer looking. And my little house is toasty warm, already! Maybe I'm losing a tiny bit of warm air out my old, antique doors? I don't care. The house wouldn't be the same without the antique doors.

Your antique/vintage wood doors sound SO pretty

 

[john eccles]

Given how desperate SJ is to sleep with such horrible, male?, specimans (Squirrelbaby, Sillymar, Mason.....et al)....she really needs something to satisfy her lonliness & sexual cravings.
Think I'll send her a dildo in the Cadeaux!

What an excellent idea, but please make sure its a 17th century dildo, you know how she looooooooooves things that have a story to tell.

 

[Kickintheass]

SJ is as able to tell the truth as Borris and Novak.

Novak sorted. They say this or next week could resolve the Borris questions. How long has SJ got left?

 

[ComtesseRose]

Just think of the nightmares

Had another one. Potts was a person with Dissociative Identity Disorder, very mentally not there, and he was sending La Jarvis letters à la stalker letters from The Bodyguard. SJ figured out who he was and took him to court. The plot revealed that his partner (not Ruth) had shown where the damming evidence was, in a faux bottom of a corner cupboard.
I really need a vacation from châteu-verse. Maybe self-exile on The Åland Islands...

RE: Sillymar: I can't believe SJ fecked Sillymar. We were always talking about how it seemed like he was pining for her affection and attention. I guess he got it, only to be replaced by Support Squirrel, what a kick in the nuts that must have felt like. Even more disgusting would be if Phyllis knew and decided to steal La Jarvis in front of Sillymar... I wouldn't be able to look that squirrel in the nostrils anymore...

 

[ggyahoo]

I'm thinking SJ and Selmar probably got together during the first few months after he arrived, and that it was long over before Snorts appeared. Probably only happened a few times anyway and maybe Selmar found he didn't want to continue anything sexual with her after all. He seemed to be quite friendly with Snorts in the beginning, and probably appreciated a fellow Dutchman to converse with. It is telling that he now says how lonely and unhappy he was during Christmas 2020 and that may have been because by then SJ had commandeered Snorts, rather than the other way round.

 

[JackSpratt]

I'm now addicted to mudlarking! What awesome channels!! Thanks!! Who needs chateaux when there is mudlarking!

Another good one is Si-Finds Thames Mudlark he finds some good bits out in the Thames estuary and sometimes Victorian dump sites. He quite often features on Nicola's videos.

 

[Hemerocallis]

Any further advice, anyone, re: encouraging males to practise daily body hygiene? (asking for a friend! )

It's not only males....
When I used to go to yoga, there was a participant who didn't always shower in the morning.
I always hoped that we didn't do any exercises where you had to take your arms away from your body.....
Oh, and another participant, who was friends with her, talked about it behind her back. But she refused to talk to her directly about it because "you don't do that".
Yes, but talking behind her back was okay for her smh.

 

[Belladonna1969]

Chris Hemsworth must play Amaury ...and always shirtless!!

Yeah nah

 

[Lady Avonlea]

What an excellent idea, but please make sure its a 17th century dildo, you know how she looooooooooves things that have a story to tell.

I can envision it now. Stephanme opening a beautifully wrapped gift - gushing emphatically about the gorgeous paper, the pretty ribbon and the lovliest presentation she's ever seen....displaying the card with the beautiful picture of a peacock and then reading the enclosed patron letter......

Dearest Stephanme,
I just love the you, the entire lalande shitoo gang, the stunning decorations....blah, blah, blah....
You work so hard and I know how lonely you must be at the shitoo in the middle of bum-feck nowwhere.

You are doing God's work renovating the shitoo so it's important that you rest until 3:00 pm every day. Because you are in the middle of bum-feck nowhere, I know you need to find your own pleasures.

My Great-Aunt recently passed away, and when we were cleaning out her bedroom and I immediately thought of you. Who better than Stephanme will appreciate this little (well no so little) gift. So enclosed is my Great-Aunt's collection of antique didlo's for your personal pleasure.

Also, enclosed are couple of unused, tubes of my Great-Aunt's favourite lubricant. It's lavender scented, so I hope you enjoy.

Stephanme, I know you are a history buff, but did you know that dildos have a big... long... (wink wink) history that dates back thousands of years. The first dildo, discovered in a German cave, was thought to have been used by people during the Ice Age — 28,000 years ago! Since then, dildos reappeared consistently in cultures and societies across the world, and it’s been a source of anxiety, pleasure, and controversy throughout.

Ancient civilizations used a number of different objects as dildos and vibrators........One of the early civilizations to experiment with dildos was ancient Egypt. It would be so exciting for you to explore Eygptian dildos's during your upcumming trip to Egypt with Curtis.

By the time of the Renaissance, dildo's had become an art form. Members of the upper classes had dildos custom made from silver, ivory, and other precious materials. Something to explore when you eventually flee the shittoo for Venice.

In 17th century England, men were fearful of the threat that these ever-firm phalluses posed to their own sexual prowess, and a number of laws were passed to prohibit women making them for themselves and others.

Your American fans will be interested to know that early American dildo use is scarce, partially due to the Comstock Laws in the 1800s, which banned the sale of rubber dilators. Despite these laws, however, sex toys were sold through an underground market.

The sexual revolution in the 1960s opened up the idea that masturbation was acceptable and normal, and dildos began to take on a new meaning as a tool for women’s sexual liberation from men. Today, there are a seemingly unlimited array of materials to choose from when selecting dildos (not to mention sizes, shapes, and even vibrations),.

I hope you get as much pleasure out of this collection of antique dildos as my Great-Aunt, who, by the way, died with a smile on her face!
Your devoted Patron.
xo

 

[Belladonna1969]

I'm now addicted to mudlarking! What awesome channels!! Thanks!! Who needs chateaux when there is mudlarking!

Yeah I really am too . It’s also such an interesting look at everyday history I think .

Tell them they smell funny and ask if they’ve been to the doctor? If they get upset, tell them that there’s several health conditions that could cause them to smell weird and you are just concerned for their health. They will then start washing and smelling themselves to figure out if you are correct. Tell them they smell a bit like cheese or rotten fruit. That will freak them out. Then if they say they can’t smell anything, tell them it’s because they’ve gotten used it to it.

Shared showers . Sorry I have one every day . Not as romantic as it sounds as I’m caring for my husband with dementia. Every morning I think I start every day sharing a shower with my husband, except only one of us is naked . The other usually has the shower turned on their back while cleaning feet …… ahhh the romance

 

[KiKiGee]

Is Nutti recruiting handmaidens???

 

[Freesia54]

Welcome! Looking forward to your views on the mess our charlataine-hoarder is making (and I don't mean just at her HMN)!


Not even in her pantry just yet, but in the small corridor leading up to it. On the list of prioritized jobs to finish, that might be the lowest one. Oh well, it's pretend-work anyway, isn't it? And it's not as if SJ is coming back real soon, so why hurry?


Oh, believe me, she does that ALL the time. I'm just trained enough to double or triple check things before I spill the beans here.

You're so good @Clara Burnett

 

[Trollda]

Niagara region...we never get bad stuff!! Until now.

GO BILLS!

LaLaLand is a farmhouse (just to keep my post on topic)

Yes, I meant the horizontal tango, but clearly I was trying to block that ugly vision from my mind before I went to bed. Just think of the nightmares!

Is THIS the ugly image you were trying to block?

 

[Green Fairy]

Leslie Jordan

Absolutely paarfeck!