This is so eloquently put and I agree about the inappropriate adult/parent-like burden placed on children with this type of upbringing. The whole case has been so dreadfully sad. Even if Archie hadn't killed himself, he surely faced a troubling and severely dysfunctional adolescence and young adulthood, had he even made it to maturity. He didn't deserve his lot in life, as many children of narcissistic and emotionally damaging parents don't. Above all I'd have wished for better parents for him. xx
yep agreed. The tragedy wasn’t just that he died - the poor kid didn’t have a shot at life really. He was doomed almost, from the moment he was born.
the thing is, I think the same could probably apply to Hollie. She’s a broken and damaged individual, probably with a lot of trauma and abuse in her own life to make her into the individual she is. She’s a monster in this story but she’s also pretty tragic herself.
imagine if;
1. The law and society recognised that emotional abuse was just as damaging as physical abuse towards children.
2. Then social workers and police would have a lower threshold to remove children from homes like this.
3. Imagine if social services were properly funded and respected as institutions. Imagine if foster homes were reformed beyond the dysfunctional system we have now - putting a child into care could be seen as a positive instead of a last resort.
4. Imagine if society got out of this weird mindset that a child is “owned” by its parents and the parent can discipline as they see fit, so long as there aren’t actual bruises. Imagine if we adopted a more communal attitude to child rearing, instead of seeing it as a deeply private affair. Imagine if we weren’t reluctant to involve ourselves in questionable behaviour, making excuses for “stressed” parents.
5. imagine if we had proper funding both into the research of personality disorders, into treatment and safeguarding. Imagine if mental health provisions were properly funded, and education wasnt only seen as the reserve for the ultra academically gifted who would make a profit from their degree - ergo making this field unappetising for many who might be able to make huge strides.
6. imagine if women, in particular, weren’t conditioned to believe motherhood was a hallowed state - that being either sexually attractive or a mother were the two main avenues for validation in the world. Imagine if they felt they could achieve a sense of worth and self through other avenues. Imagine if people were encouraged to actively question if they are capable of providing the emotional and physical needs of a child, instead of it being seen as a solely personal choice.
Archie was failed by his mother, but there are a lot of wider failures going on in this country that *can* and *should* be addressing. We can’t make Hollie dance into a good person, but we can take actions to make sure there aren’t any children who are born into the circumstances that Archie was.
🤌
). 