The advice thread for random problems

[WilmaHun]

Do you know if they rent via the council or private? Maybe try to contact whoever they rent from to ask them to keep it more tidy? It’s so hard when stuff like this happens because like you say you don’t want it to become even more of an issue but I totally get how annoying it is

Thank you. I know it's definitely not council but I'm unsure whether it's via a private landlord or an agent! So annoying!

 

[Shoequeen91]

I don’t think this is really a random problem, but I’m not sure where else to post this. I’m looking for advice on how best to ask for a pay rise.

I had the Head of my team admit to me in a conversation with another colleague that she sees me as her second in command rather than her actual second in command and my review is coming up and I really want to put it to her about me getting more money but I also know I’m not “cheeky” enough.

Has anyone got any tips? (Thanks in advance and sorry if this is the wrong thread)

 

[Snippysnips]

Contact local schools/hospitals/councils etc to see if they have woodland or gardens etc that would take some new trees?

Thanks, never thought of schools or hospitals etc, I doupt our council would care, if you aren't doing somthing to give them money then they have no interest

 

[Hellojanuary]

I need shopping advice! I was given an Amazon Aus voucher for $100(AU) and I’m feeling a bit paralysed with how to spend it. My normal go-to would be to get something practical for the house or family, but I want to treat myself. How would you spend the money? What would you buy? I need ideas! Thanks

 

[Comewhinewithme]

Tattlers!

Anyyone any good tips for removing cigarette smoke from hair?
So basically I work in domiciliary care and I go to different peoples houses throughout the working day.

So today for example the house I visited had been smoking heavily and was still smoking as I entered, though they quickly put it out it was all lingering in the air.

My hair (and uniform) STINKS, I don't want to wash my hair every single day as it causes it to go greasy and also I like to limit washing as my hair is bleached but in good condition.

I've tried perfume but doesn't lift it, not keen on dry shampoo, so bar driving with my head out the window, I don't know what to do

My uniform isn't an issue as it's clean everyday and we are supplied with plenty.

 

[TwooTwooTwitTwitTwoo]

This isn’t a problem, more of a question. I’d like to hire someone to build me a new front door step - remove the old stones and put something new in. But who does this?

A general builder? A stonemason? A bricklayer!?

Someone who does driveways would be my first thought. I'd imagine a general builder would be able to sort it too.

 

[shadowcat5]

Speedo and Nike!

The one I have now is speedo and it’s bobbled around the bum after a few months. I will give Nike a go though

 

[Justhereforthebantslll]

Hi
I’m totally new to this and i can’t seem to work out how to make my own thread. Hope I’m okay posting here.
long story short - my now friend, I once had a fling with the father of her children. Before we were friends ofs! She knows all about this. I ended things with him. He then got with someone else. Had a child with her. She (my friend) has one child to my ex. And two more with her now husband. She has not been with my ex in around 10 years. She has been the one that repeatedly made comments such as “Go back there” “give him another chance”. On one occasion not that long ago, she even suggested I used him as a “friends with benefits”. I always declined. His relationship failed and once that happened he began calling and texting me. I very rarely replied. However one time I was out, and he began texting me. So I did go and see him. I did not sleep with him. I did however tell him not to contact me anymore. I told my friend this as soon as it happened and she didn’t seem too bothered by it. Things were normal for us. Then she had a particularly bad week and asked more questions about the encounter. I told her 100% honestly. And since then I’ve felt that something was off. I am autistic and struggle to “read the room” so to speak. I’m also having a particular difficult time with my own anxiety and depression. My friend has always replied to my messages. Although a little slow at times, and I feel maybe abit tense. Although she has used emojis and “x” a few times. She never told me she was angry or annoyed with me. I did ask if things were okay and she said they were. But something just feels off. Any advice is greatly appreciated as this situation is really sending my anxiety sky high.

 

[Lola UK]

Hi all. I’ve got a question about my iPhone.. I didn’t know where to ask it!

when I go outside into the sun (like right now ) my phone dims really low even though it’s on full brightness? But I can’t see anything? This must be a design flaw, because I need it tobe brighter in the sun not dimmer. So weird! It just does it automatically

 

[Pesky Tarian]

Yeah it would just be for a main, I know drinks will be extra which is why I don't want to be paying like £25 for a meal and then drinks on top of it, an it would be each, ideally I don't want to be going above around £75 for the 3 of us

Honestly am fine with whatever cuisine, my mum isn't too keen on Indian but she will still eat it, doesn't matter if its a chain or not, and either Camden or a few miles out will be fine, just not above say 10 miles out as we are probably going be around that area

Just don't want to be paying a good amount of money an the foods crap, price doesn't always mean better, we have places here that easily will take £20 for a meal an it's rotten compared to another that will take £14 for the same thing an it's perfect

What a lovely thing to do for your parents. We had a perfectly pleasant meal at a Cafe Rouge near Camden. It was a two course fixed menu at around £16 if memory serves correctly. I know it's still a chain restaurant but a little nicer than your average pub grub.

 

[JoeBloggs]

Am just tired of the amount we get, for what we get in a month is ridiculous an I shouldn't have to waste the space in my bin for all that shit especially when at times my bin is full an if they bring in the charging £50 to empty it like other towns then I'll want to limit how much I need it emptied

What councils are charging £50 to empty your bins? I am sure that is not a thing. They charge a one off to upgrade your bin to a bigger one but not to collect the one you have.

If it is that big a deal then collect them up and put in a public bin or take them to the tip or request and pay for a bigger bin. Or you could burn them?

 

[Snippysnips]

I’ll try that Yes we have blackout blinds and curtains! Is that on an app? I don’t know if it’s best to wake up slowly or to get up really quick It definitely helps with it being lighter in the morning doesn’t it! Thank you for your suggestions!

No its a actual light, you can probably get them from argos or amazon, they do have the ability to make the alarm sound as well but honestly from when it starts to lighten up to when it goes it's brightest I find I don't need the sound to go off as I start to stir when it comes on and by the time it's hit full light am pretty much awake, it's quite a nice way to wake as it allows you to slowly stir an take your time rather than be sleeping an a alarm goes off an you have to get up suddenly

 

[Choco88]

Before losing my sense of smell with covid, for a day or two of being sick things smelled strange and very strong. I couldn't be in the kitchen when my partner was cooking meat for example and it was making me gag. Do you think you could have covid?

yesterday morning i woke up with a sore throat and this morning feels like I’ve got a head cold. I might get a test to be sure.

Have you have covid? I had it in August and lost my sense of smell for a few months. But when it came back fully it was as if I could smell things I’ve never smelt before. I can smell things from the next room that others can’t and some foods smell awful now.

I’d also do a pregnancy test just to rule that out too.

no I havent had Covid as far as I know

 

[BettyCrockerr]

Does anyone have any recommendations for the best scar treatments after having an abdomen incision? Or the best places for information and advice on this? Tia x

A dermatologist would be the person to ask

 

[annagerda83]

I’m similar to you, in I avoid confrontation. Hence me needing the advice I asked for earlier hahaha! But, if you struggle standing up for yourself. Maybe tell this person via text? Or email? This way you can type, retype and make sure you word things exactly how you want them to be worded. Also, if/when they reply, you can rehearse what you need to say in order to effectively get your point across.

Thanks! We’ve been conversing via text messages because we live far from each other. I haven’t contacted him for anything other than small talks because I’m still trying to figure out what to say and feel thanks for the input though!

I do not want to sounds harsh but this is my two pence. Your friend has been honest and said they no longer want to do a certain activity with you for their own reasonable reasons. They have been doing this with you for a decade and are now standing up for themselves and their feelings. I think you need to seek what you got from this activity elsewhere, find a local group or online forum etc. Pushing your feelings onto them is not fair, they haven't done anything mean to you and by telling them you feel mad and hurt will make them feel guilty and imo that it not fair.

You clearly know all this and I think ultimately you just want to feel heard. If tattle doesn't settle that, do you have another friend you could vent to, about your feelings not your friend.

Ultimately this friend has not said they do not want to be friends with you, just that this activity is not something they want anymore. And I am sure you could find someone else to fill this void for you. Don't fall out with your friend over their wishes.

as much as I agree with this comment, I can’t find another group to do the hobby together because the character is his OC (original character) meaning that he is the creator, and the role can’t be passed to someone else.

probably because I’m torn between continuing the friendship or not, we don’t really have that much in common, but somehow still hangs together from time to time. That, and because I’m not sure whether I am allowed to feel mad about the situation.

Is it right for me to get mad though I understand his reason?

Is it right for me to repress this emotion and not talk about it to avoid further confrontation and to Not look like I’m being pushy?

Is it right of him to only share his opinion and not ask for mine?

Is it even right for me or do I even have the place, rather, to tell him why I’m disappointed knowing it wont change a thing?

 

[Kim Mild]

Can anyone help me identify the song of one of the Gusto adverts? I know it and I can't place it, and it's bothering me so much .

It's quite rocky and energetic , then there's male vocals right at the end. I asked my husband and he suggested Lenny Kravitz but it's not .

 

[Snippysnips]

Anyone know best questions to ask when getting pet insurance? I have the basics like if dental plan is included, if costs will raise after a claim, if long term illness will be covered, if anything hereditary will be covered etc

Should there be anything else I need to make sure I ask?

 

[S29S37]

You can definitely break the habit it just takes time, maybe leave the house for small bits at a time if it's possible, like 20 mins an then come back an see her an then gradually leave her longer an longer, also I'd say that if you sleep with a soft toy or blanket etc for a night or two just to get your scent on it then leave it with them it might work as a comfort for when you are out, I hope you can manage to get her settled

Thank you for your reply, it was our first night with her last night so I was pretty overwhelmed (in a good way)
She slept all night in her own bed in our bedroom so that's a start. I don't mind her being in our bed but my husband has allergies so I don't want them to flare up.

Im leaving her for short bursts of time, but staying in the house for now, I'm not sure if she had separation anxiety before coming to us or if it's just developed from changing family. It is something I anticipated though, so I have done a little bit of reading about it.
It's kind of like having a baby though, reading doesn't prepare you much for the reality

 

[Snippysnips]

Oh absolutely, it’s worth having. Fingers and toes crossed you wont need to use it but better to be safe than sorry for sure.

Thanks, yeah you always hope it never needs used, unfortunately my last bun cost a few hundred before she died so it's why am going for it now, just hoping it won't be a case of getting it then they won't cover somthing

 

[Josims]

I'm quite an introverted person, have smallish group of friends and supportive family who I enjoy spending time with. But at work very much quiet person focus on head down, get job done and out of door etc, I don't share much of my personal life with colleagues. Anyway, i get message from colleague i only ever say pleasantries to in work, we don't have much work interaction, asking for weekend plans, then basically inviting himself along. How do I politely say no?