The advice thread for random problems

[lozzapaloozza]

What’s your diet like? What time do you go to sleep? 6.30am isn’t particularly early and if you feel knackered at 3pm, that’s a bit concerning. Do you have a particularly physically demanding job?

I’m 99.9% vegan/plant based so probably don’t get enough vitamins/nutrients that I should be consuming but I eat a lot of fruit, vegetables, legumes and some protein. I usually go to sleep around 10PM. I’m on the move constantly for that time (my watch estimates I burn between 2,000-2,500 calories in 8 hours) and work out 3 times a week - usually HIIT/weights for 45 minutes. I also don’t drink any water. I think I’ve answered my own question haven’t I? Any advice would be appreciated still 🥲

 

[becca7721]

Feeling a bit disgruntled with work and could use some advice about salary increases, work isses and whatnot.

I started a role around a year ago and not long into the job I was told I needed to take on some extensive admin tasks (totally outside my role), to cover just until they hired for the new admin person.

The admin tasks were previously done by 2 people but were somehow condensed into me doing them as 1 person and over the last few months they've taken up a crazy amount of time- but I sucked it up to be a team player and worked hard to impress my boss, colleagues and thought it was just until the new hire came.

Fast forward doing it for 6+ months and they've just hired the new admin person whose job I was doing and I've heard they won't be giving this admin person back what I am now doing! It's unbelievable - I really feel like it's hindering my current role as I just can't progress and say I've done XYZ in reviews as it seems like all my time is spent doing this other admin work. My life is in a fucking excel document and this wasn't what I originally signed up for at all.

I spoke to my manager and she said she was confused by the situation and going to fight my corner but I don't know how she will, I know I'll be stuck with this now.

TLDR; How do I go about asking for a salary increase? I earn 36k as an assistant in my job so not badly paid as it is but I really don't think it's fair to expect me to continue with all this extra random work!!

What is a reasonable raise? I got 1k raise this year so pretty much peanuts anyway compared to inflation..

I've never asked for a raise before and get anxious. Any tips/wording/advice would be so appreciated. I am getting an update this week/early next week but I sort of already know what to expect.

I just think it's really unfair and professional to not bother telling me until this person started as well, and to not be told directly. Absolute joke.

I suggest you work WITH your manager regarding a raise as they seem supportive. I don’t have any wording for you.

When in a similar situation without an understanding boss my contract was cancelled due to me not doing my job (I couldn’t as I was doing someone else’s!). They didn’t even tell me, I found out via gossip after my replacement started and was devastated.

Compared to when in nhs I had a supportive manager and we had a meeting to bash out a letter about my paid role and what I was doing and, in the end it came down to how much I saved them in getting the work done and a rise agreed. I was forced to leave shortly after due to illness but my managers help was invaluable, once I really rammed home I couldn’t meet the targets of my job whilst doing three others full time essential to medical colleagues roles and the stress it was causing. Basically I was happy to help but then found myself targeted by other departments for work they had; it was a long time before I spoke up and I regret that because my reviews were dreadful for the period that I didn’t.

That’s a lot of words to say : discuss with your manager! If they’re supportive they can help. If part of the problem then you’ve a bigger problem.

 

[yankydoo]

We were going be trying to stay as close to London Euston train station as we could, we can get a train from our town to there non stop an also I need to go to that station to get out to Watford for the shuttle bus for the Warner bros studios

You are a little far out if you stay around Euston. But you can walk to Oxford Street within 20-25 minutes, and then Soho, Covent Garden and Mayfair are another 15 minutes from there. In Euston you are also close to Angel, Kings Cross and Marylebone (all within 20 minutes walk). You may want to consider this depending on how mobile your parents are.

 

[no-no]

Yes, I changed to Three last year and I get it a lot. It's extremely frustrating as it all sounds normal my end. I had a telephone appointment recently and she needed to get me through the security questions before she was able to give me a call back in the hope of a better line. I ended up having to say "and" at the beginning of every bit of info I was giving so it was the 'and' that was cut off not the actual info I was giving .

I wondered if it was something to do with WiFi calling and signal dropping out as mine automatically seems to switch to that. However I've tried turning the WiFi off and it was still happens so goodness knows.

Thanks! How frustrating for you, but I’m glad to know it’s not just me. My current provider is Three and it happens more frequently. I only pick up there’s an issue because they start saying “helloooo?”. My signal strength doesn’t even affect it. I might have a moan to them and try and get some money back

 

[emmer_moans]

Ill have to pay more attention to labels going forward. Such a pain! Thanks for that

Good luck on your search, hopefully some lovely jumpers can be found now Autumn is around the corner.

 

[Fearne]

My friends Mum passed away yesterday. We're the type of friends who don't see each other often but are very close and can always rely on each other. Any of you have advise how to best help them? If you've been in that position what was the best thing someone helped with? I don't want to just say, here if you need anything, it can be hard to reach out when needed.

 

[HowlOwl]

Quoting myself but just wanted to say we finally got an appointment. Have to drive a couple of hours to Peterborough but what ever it’s worth it. Panic over.

I’m glad you got it sorted. We had to wait ages for ours and there’s been lots of delays at the passport offices (we applied online).

 

[Cruising Into Obscurity]

What on earth have you got in your bag that’s causing your phone screen to crack?!!!!

Keys, pens, planner, palmtop computer, etc.

 

[Pinhead Larry]

I personally wouldn't use this phrasing, as it reads as though something bad has happened, which it hasn't, you just preferred the other company. I would be honest and say that you received another offer, which you've accepted, thanks for the opportunity... - I wouldn't say, "so sorry to mess you around" either, even if you feel that way, it's better to keep a professional and less personal front!

Good point, a conflict avoidant part of me has surfaced it seems

Does it still sound good if I drop the second sentence and don't add anything else?

 

[Piff paff puff]

Does anyone know if electric blankets are safe?! i see them sold a lot so I’m assuming they are and maybe I’m being over cautious but I just want opinions before buying. I live alone in a flat with plug in heaters (woooo renting 🫣🫡) and it can get cold when I’m in bed/waking up because there’s no way I’m plugging in those heaters overnight. might be a stupid question idk

I've had them since forever and all ok so far

 

[Snippysnips]

Great idea for a thread @Purrrrrrr ...I'd make sure it's a solid wall before you hang it ,my son has leds on his TV wouldn't say it adds to the viewing but they do look good .

On the topic of TV's does anyone have any bother with their TV switching off if they put Netflix / Prime on ? I've had this problem with two different makes of TV so don't know if it's Sky Q to blame .

Mines does it with YouTube, an only YouTube but I don't know why, thinking it might be a problem with the app on the TV itself rather than the TV since everything else works fine so maybe it's the sky Q if your TV is fine with everything else

Also anyone know how easy to navigate London is, I'll be going first time in April, folks have been before but used underground an it's just not gonna happen with me at all, am happy to walk but I don't know how much I'll need to prepare for an they don't have a clue as they only ever used subways

 

[Purrrrrrr]

I went to the opticians yesterday and at the grand old age of 64, it's been decided I need glasses. Boo

Apparently, if you are on income-based ESA You can get a voucher towards the cost .. How do you know if you are on income-based? I've looked through my paperwork and can't find anything other than ESA . although I know I am on the income-based one, only because I was on the wrong one for years and didn't know and they finally switched me to the income-based one

What do I need to do to get this voucher? or is that something the opticians sort out?





Edited to say found something that says I am on income-related ESA,, So that's ok. but what do I do now?

 

[cotdotton]

We go walking for around an hour four or five times a week. He works at a desk job but works weekends in the family business. I don’t think it’s his actual meals that are the problem. It’s more a combination of a number of things. His portion sizes are very big and often finishes mine if I don’t finish it. He might have four or five pints or more on a Friday and Saturday night and have a takeaway aswell. I made healthy granola bars and prepared fruit and salad for the fridge in April and while he ate them and seemed to enjoy them, the problem was when he went home everything went out the window.
I have no problem supporting him in any way I can as he has mentioned for a while he would like to lose weight but he needs to take ownership of the situation too and I’m unsure how to broach it with him without upsetting him.

 

[Begborrowsteal]

Just tell them you’ve changed your mind. Don’t give them any reasons

It helps to give a reason - especially if another role pays more. It can all be useful feedback to the senior bods. I'm in HR and we've had a right battle with poaching staff and high turnover, using those bits of feedback from declines & withdrawls is helping us push for higher salaries

 

[shadowcat5]

Has anyone ever been at the point where they are done listening to/trying to help a friend who will not leave a bad relationship even though they have every Avenue and all of the support to do so

Is it cruel to not want to be friends anymore? It doesn’t even feel like there is a friendship left and I can no longer hide the anger and hurt I feel towards her.

I want to tell her that I will always be there to help when she decides to leave but I cannot play along anymore

I am a bit late on this but I'm going through the same thing with my friend atm. We're now at a stage where she only talks to discuss her relationship. I really love her as a friend but honestly I am exhausted.

 

[Fearne]

Id look at something more experience centred rather than an actual gift you can wrap. A voucher for a meal out at a nice restaurant? Night away at a hotel? Tickets to a gig or to see a comedian or for the football? Day out somewhere random for fun like an escape room or paintballing? Or something more memorable like a sky dive, bungee jump, boat trip etc
Unless you know of something that he genuinely needs or wants I’d not bother trying to buy him an actual gift.

We are thinking of buying him a weekend ticket for Silverstone next year (cost will be split between 3 pf us) but maybe an additional present for the day.

 

[Woolmercardington]

If it was food poisoning you'd know, I had it a while back an it was absolutely brutal, you're vomiting pratically every hour an nothing stays down an it lasts a good few days like that as well

However anything that says needs defrosted I wouldn't cook from frozen, so it might be a mild bug you have gotten

Yes, I understand how brutal food poisoning is, so I did assume it wouldn't be that, but did wonder, as you say, I could have given myself a bug of some sort.

 

[becca7721]

They gp told me the nhs couldn’t afford to fund all meds so I must buy if available elsewhere. One is pain med (which is purchased in and kept by pharmacy and handed over daily) and the other is antibiotics.

Hoardinguk said I was too unwell for them to support. They only offer six weeks cbt which I’ve already done and it didn’t help. I can’t have antidepressants due to another condition and with zero support said it was too risky.

The problem I think in terms of support is services gp/mental health/SS are saying I’m fine to justify ending my care in March 2020. Can’t force people to support, I did complain but all I got was fire brigade who had rant at gp (surgery deregistered me) and SS who said they were being conned by my dramatics (same was said to hoardinguk). No ones even been in to do an assessment as I was in such a state when fire brigade turned up, plus only have a room and sheilding and there’s no room for another person.

 

[Snippysnips]

I completely understand and I do think the T&Cs and fine print can be quite confusing, as with any kind of insurance, you can tie yourself up in knots with it. It sounds to me like you’ve got the basics down with a dental plan and long-term illness, they would be my main concerns for a baby rabbit too. Good luck with it, I hope you manage to get something sorted that you’re happy with and that gives you peace of mind.

Thanks so much, just phoning round right now to see what all offer an how much

 

[al255]

Does anyone know if you can remove the “for sale” sign from your home when it’s sold subject to contract? I see a lot of houses have theirs changed to “sold stc”. But a house near me has removed the sign completely, but it’s showing as sold stc online. Is this down to the hone owner, or do the estate agents have rules about how long you have to keep a sign up for?

when I put an offer on on my house and it was accepted, one of the conditions where it went off any selling websites and the sign came down. The owner was more than happy to agree at the end of the day they want their house sold