The advice thread for random problems

[Ibrokethegoddamnwheel]

Im not sure where the appointment for 1 week fast track will be, I’d imagine my nearest city. But if we have to go to the embassy then we will do that. Going to give it another couple of days of trying to get this appointment then we are going to call the passport line I think. It’s ridiculous if you ask me. It says there is high demand and they will add extra appointments so keep checking, but they never show on the site.

Quoting myself but just wanted to say we finally got an appointment. Have to drive a couple of hours to Peterborough but what ever it’s worth it. Panic over.

 

[Maisie842]

What I am saying is, why are we now having to pay for things that were part of being a household and a "free" service?




I hate junk mail with a passion. If I don't want it why on earth should I have to deal with it? A notice on the door asking people not to put it through the letterbox should be enough. I would also say that if I have a notice then a postman should also abide by it. Why should I have to jump through hoops so that the postman doesn't keep posting crap through my letter box? I did fill in all the forms and still, it kept coming.

While we all just pick it up and bin it, companies will just keep sending it. if a notice on our doors asking them to stop means the postie takes it back and returns it to them, they will then see how many people don't want their crap. , in a time when we have it drilled into us about wasting resources, we should be able to refuse it if we want to. as it is we have no choice

If you want the crap, that's fine you can still receive it many of us don't

Just to jump in re the junk mail, a member of my family is a postie and believe me he hates having to lug it around on his route with his regular mail as much as we all hate receiving it. Unfortunately “door to door” as they call it make up a huge part of RM revenue (around 30%) and if he was seen to be not posting it because of a sign left about not receiving junk mail he could lose his job. They are specifically told to ignore them. Just wanted to clarify that it really isn’t your postman being difficult, it’s the powers that be unfortunately.

 

[becca7721]

Wow. Thank you for being kind. Sat here in tears.

GP won’t support, they won’t even allow me meds’ I need told me to buy them; I’m on a daily collection as so severely depressed and they demanded that stopped as the risk didn’t matter however, the pharmacy refused to give me enough. The gp said they’re wasting £17000 on giving me daily scripts. I’ve only been seen once since March 2020. I’m not allowed to change or see another gp as ‘too needy and refuse to respect boundaries’ (the needy stuff was when I was conned into asking for help with depression and associated issues, the boundaries was complaining about a gp who went on holiday start of lockdown which they showed off about as it’s just a silly cold, week later my care was all ended as everyone was going to die!!).

CAB spoke to mental health team who say I’m fine, no needs and need to work (still sheilding and all services cab/gp/mental health team still all via phone so they’ve no clue how things are, I ‘sound’ great so am). I’ve several physical and mental health conditions but can access nothing in terms of help because people phone social services safeguarding or mental health team and told ive no needs. I’m not better just had everything abandoned in March 2020. I won’t get more than basic £79.80 (sorry typo!) a week as I’m classed as refusing to work; eventually I’ll lose that too.

Finally hoarding isn’t recognised as a mental health condition where I live in the uk. The quote ‘filthy and lazy’ came from mental health team. I was told I sort it or I’ll be put back on the street again and no one will ever rent to me again, not even hostels. The fire brigade lied I’d get full support for years (because that’s what it takes) but all that’s on offer (not to me, as I’ve no needs) is two students with bin liners one hour for two weeks and EVERYTHING will be binned like the last time and it was so devastating I can’t put it in words. I lost my passport, birth certificate, every single thing I owned (photos of dead loved ones, things I can never replace) and was forced to start again (ended up with even more). It doesn’t help that my bin was stolen Jan 2020 and landlord couldn’t replace due to council being closed since March 2020 so couldn’t get rid of things even if I wanted to for months on end.

 

[Bubbledoggyyeah]

Anyone know if theres places to store luggage in London? I'll be down mid week, we get there around lunch time an the hotel I believe seems fine at taking the luggage till check in an we get our room, however check out is 11am an that's them done with us which I obviously expect, we won't be getting the train home till around 7pm or 8pm, I don't really want to be going round London with my suitcase for that long plus honestly it's just going get in the way

Its going be kings Cross we leave from so preferably I'd like somwhere close or the station to store it

Won’t the hotel keep it? I always ask hotels to keep my luggage after I check out and then I collect it in the evening.

 

[Snippysnips]

hi my sister just started dating someone and they hit it off really well. she was miserable at the end of her last relationship and it's so nice seeing her happy again. he seems like a lovely guy, smart, similar to her, very caring and treating her wonderfully. he did mention at the beginning he has some trust issues but i brushed that off thinking my sister will show him he has nothing to worry about. however, the last 2 days or so he's been giving me obsessive vibes, at least from what she's telling me. if she's going somewhere, he drives her there, visits her, and also picks her up. he gets angry when she talks to another guy etc (not angry at her but you know how it is), which she all thinks is sweet and sexy but from an outside point of view it's a bit much. just to note i'm extremely close to my sister and we tell each other everything. i don't want to keep my honest opinion from her but i also don't want to put a downer on her mood by telling her this. i could definitely also be wrong!! does anyone have any advice? thank you in advance!

I would say it would be better sooner than later for your sister to sit down an chat with him, just the two of them, the longer it's left the more it might end up going into stopping her from seeing friends an such, it's better he knows that although your sister like him there's going be times she will want some time alone with friends an he needs to understand that and that it's OK for people to do that, I get he has trust issues but it isn't good to keep letting those build up

 

[WilmaHun]

Isn't junk mail just one of life's little inconveniences? Yes, it's annoying, but very quickly resolved if you just put it in the bin and forget about it. I don't think it's worth getting wound up over.

 

[Barnes Wallace]

hi my sister just started dating someone and they hit it off really well. she was miserable at the end of her last relationship and it's so nice seeing her happy again. he seems like a lovely guy, smart, similar to her, very caring and treating her wonderfully. he did mention at the beginning he has some trust issues but i brushed that off thinking my sister will show him he has nothing to worry about. however, the last 2 days or so he's been giving me obsessive vibes, at least from what she's telling me. if she's going somewhere, he drives her there, visits her, and also picks her up. he gets angry when she talks to another guy etc (not angry at her but you know how it is), which she all thinks is sweet and sexy but from an outside point of view it's a bit much. just to note i'm extremely close to my sister and we tell each other everything. i don't want to keep my honest opinion from her but i also don't want to put a downer on her mood by telling her this. i could definitely also be wrong!! does anyone have any advice? thank you in advance!

I would talk it over with her in a calm manner. Just explain your concerns, tell her you to want her to be happy, but at least voice your concerns.
Tell her you trust her judgement, but just make clear your own observations. Tact and Diplomacy are definitely required so she doesn't get angry or upset with you.
Good luck with it all, hope it works out.

 

[Purrrrrrr]

Are you always such a pathetic baby who can’t tell her mother in law you already bought a kitchen appliance?

You are making a bit much of this and not everyone is the same. OP already said before she could say anything her partner was making extravagant thanks yous to his parents. so properly felt the moment was lost.

I do love the warmth and cheeriness that summer brings but I loathe all the bugs! (Or, more specifically, their bites). I get eaten by everything going, despite spraying insect repellent on every morning and night. As well as the usual mosquito bites (my arms look like someone's been using them for target practice), I managed to get bitten by a spider last night while sleeping - I found it, dead, in my sheets this morning, and my leg has swelled and is making me feel queasy. I've cleaned the wound, disinfected it, and am now waiting to see if it improves ...

Ouch! be careful last year seemed to be full of people getting spider bites that got infected. try a bicarb paste and leave for a number of hours as it has to dry out then any good honey and garlic blitz together and paint it on .

for things like this I have a raw honey and garlic solution in my fridge . Also I have one of those blackhead removers to suck out poisons. , before I got that I made the paste of bicarb of soda with a tiny bit of water and spread that over and leave it to draw out the poisons then put the honey etc on it.


Hopefully it wont get ny worse. but if it does get to the Dr right away.

 

[monga]

Im 17 sorry for not gving you more details I didnt wanted to be long. We kinda met one time when i was at my best friends grandmas house and he was playing basketball at the basketball court across the house and my best friend knows him, he didi introduced him self to me and I did sme thing but that was it, and also he bascially adds everyone on snap, and even have his snap in his insta bio, and I just realise know that he have really have snap svore wich doesnt have to mean anything but still

I wouldn't waste time on him he doesn't seem interested don't take it too much to heart though , do you have any youth groups in your area ? I think that's a far better way to make friends than over snapchat .

 

[Pinhead Larry]

Ok so I’m assuming advice on anything and this is a long one but… I want advice and opinions.

So I was talking to a guy for 5 years in the middle of those 5 years we were friends with benefits for two years. Due to work schedules (he works away during half term and then works at a school) we found it very hard to meet up but we spoke everyday got really close I think we both didn’t expect to get as close as we did.

Anyway, he told me he had a girlfriend which I was perfectly fine with because during the years we spoke and he got with someone we didn’t do anything just talked because we have similar hobbies he always tried to break boundaries and it’s hard to describe but vibe from messages would change when he got a girlfriend but this time it was odd nothing changed. So I questioned him having a girlfriend because it just didn’t seem like he had one. He would be really sexual with me I found him on socials (we only had each other on Snapchat and WhatsApp) and nothing to say he was in a relationship. To be fair everything he told me was always the truth and this was just before lockdown.

Fast forward to lockdown, we got more close. We never said “I love you” but we had our own phase to each other equivalent to it and nicknames too each other. He was very open to me and kept being the one mentioning meeting up but then mid way through convo he like “oh we can’t because I have a girlfriend” “I can’t give you want you want… you want a relationship but I have a girlfriend” I always told me I don’t want a relationship with him, well I did at the start when me and him started getting close both single but I told him why would I if hes like this with his girlfriend?

So during lockdown he messaged me and basically told me he cheated on his girlfriend with another man who they work with. He previously told me he had a gay experience and both times he said he’s more worried over my reaction then his girlfriends. I don’t understand why but . Anyway he was telling me he was watching porn then the guy FaceTimed him while they both jerked off and he felt like “a see you next Tuesday” and asked me what he should do I told him tell the girlfriend.

Since he got with this “girlfriend” he kept telling me he’s confused. He even messaged me right after seeing her (they’re long distance) that all he could think about was me and my body and when he sleeps with her he thinks of me. He’s even FaceTimed me jerking off and mouthing he loves me blowing me kisses and saying he wishes I was his girlfriend.

I ended up finding the girlfriend they ended up having each other as there profile pics on Facebook and told her. It didn’t go down well with her and he didn’t seem to bothered over it. I seen all this coming.
I know I did the right thing but I do feel bad a betrayed someone who I really care about and basically trusted me by being so open to me and “grassing” their sexuality to someone and that I may possibly hurt someone I have strong feelings for.

But I just can’t help question was mine and his bond was all a lie? How can someone be so open and honest with you when all along the chemistry/bond wasn’t even true? Why have someone in your life for so long to string them along. To be honest I expected this too happen long ago anyway so it’s not like it come to a surprise. I’m more surprised I’ve not heard from him in 18 months I don’t want to but I can’t help question what the hell we had

To be completely honest with you. This was probably nothing emotional to him. He didn't want to be with you because if he did he wouldn't have been actively getting in relationships with different people, it'd have been you. He found someone willing to accommodate him cheating on his girlfriend in you.

I think it'd be good for you to put this behind you and work on self respect and boundaries, because you acknowledge he's cheated when he's carried on with this man, but he's done the same and more with you and you seem to think that is fine? Block them all, forget them all, just leave them alone and move on from it. I get this will be harder for you if you felt you had a connection but it isn't a healthy situation at all.

I don't agree at all with the way he has been with the girlfriend, but taking the right to come out from someone because you feel hurt is horrible.

 

[littlepup]

this is all outstanding advice, get on twitter and put them on absolute BLAST. get her and her basic ass name. like newaccount says, tweet everyone you can. the airline, the airport, the higher-ups at the airline, keep doing it, retweet it in their replies. make this as public as possible.

i feel better knowing that your boyfriend is there, get your bag and your cards back (what kind of a person opens someone else’s birthday cards?!)

please update us, if i see anyone going off in an airline’s replies i’ll retweet

But they don’t know for sure it was her. It could have happened before or after she got it. It could be a false allegation or libel couldn’t it? If it proves not to be her.
If someone was tweeting I was a thief and I wasn’t I’d be f-ing furious and pursue them for whatever I could. It’s risky until OP has evidence of it.

 

[Noseyparker86]

Hi, I don’t really know why I’m posting this I suppose I just want to know I’m not a terrible person even though I feel like I am.

I’ll cut a very long story short, I rent a house from my mother (with hindsight I should never have moved in) she’s done a lot of things over the years & last year it came to light she kept an inheritance that was due to me and because she was called out on it & can’t own up to her actions she said we have to move from the house we’ve been at for 10 years. We (husband & I) have a cat and a dog, our moving date is fast approaching and we have only been able to find a house that will accept our dog but not our cat, the landlord was very strict on the no cats when we viewed the house so it’s not going to possible to take him anyway and hide him. It’s fully carpeted and he is a scratcher so I know he would cause damage that we wouldn’t be able to hide as well. We aren’t in a position to buy a place either.
I know a wonderful charity who have said they will take him, he will go to a foster home until a suitable forever home can be found. I am totally devastated we will have to give him up I feel awful, I never ever thought I would have to give him up but it’s impossible to find a place that will accept him. I will miss him terribly and I feel like such a bad person having to give him up

 

[Warpaint]

I don’t think you’re supposed to put cold water or cold compress on a steam burn, just tepid water then dry the area and cover it from the air using a dry bandage or cloth.

Google steam burn to see what it says!

To google anything like that means it will no doubt diagnose me as almost certainly going to die

 

[Lola UK]

That is a bit weird. If I were you, I’d say I’m so sorry its very late notice, but happy to have a chat on Facebook messenger (or whatever you’re using) to see if you get a good vibe from them?

 

[shadowcat5]

Not sure if it’s ok to post, assuming if I’m making some huge mistake thread will be locked soon! So I’ve a severe hoarding disorder and just made the mistake of doing a search in case others do too and came across a load of posts that were really nasty about it and it’s really upset me. I tried to cook some food tonight and my cooker won’t heat up, it was previously buried and not used for months and now I’m distressed because of uncovering it, it not working, even more food hoarded and the posts I’ve found on tattle. I’ve pretty much no electric for months as lost my benefits due to care being abandoned by everyone so CAB refused to help (I lost mental heath support - even with fire brigade input I was good enough for them anymore, literally they sent two students with masses of bin liners to throw everything I own. Zero help or support as I’m just ‘filthy and lazy’. Can’t have a hot drink anymore either. No hygiene in years as lost carer as thanks to everything stopping due to covid I was deemed better by local authority. I wanted some hot food/drink as I got soaked yesterday and am still cold and wet today. I tried Samaritans and someone just fired questions at me about why I allowed things to get so bad.

Anyway, can ovens just stop working like that? I can’t let anyone in ever again. I’m being bullied by neighbours in my building and the ‘friend’ I told who called me a filthy tramp. Today I’ve been in bed struggling mentally with my doors blocked to be safe, CAB reported me to Facebook and got my account deleted for ‘lying’ about them not helping me get benefits (I didn’t lie but like so many their word is worth more than mine) and my neighbor making a racket. I’m sick of having to recharge my batteries (phone/iPad) in cafes and being freezing cold, in pain constantly, and lonely all the time.

Finally, just wanted to say that hoarding isn’t simple and if anyone ever confides in you about having the problem they need those things for whatever reason.

Oh my word I’m so sorry about people being nasty to you and you not having electricity! You don’t deserve any of that. Hoarding is a mental health condition and should be treated as such.

What is CAB?
Have you had your benefits back?

You don’t deserve to live in a cold, dark house you really don’t.

 

[Poptart]

I once had 1 housefly that lasted a whole season indoors should have phoned the Guinness book of records.

How did you know it was the same fly? Did you put a little collar on it?

 

[BettyCrockerr]

I don't need advice on this one but opinions.

I received this PM on FB from someone that I have only interacted with once or twice on our towns local FB pages.

In your opinion what do you think she is asking me for?


Good evening Purrrrrrr this is a bit of a long shot and probably very short notice. I’m reaching out for support and can’t think why we haven’t met as we’re both on the same page regarding the covid jab etc.
I’m currently going through some mental health issues and I find the ( removed the name but its a a garden centre a bit out of my area) so very therapeutic. Would you be interested in going for a coffee there tomorrow and I will cover petrol costs? I know a lot of people who drive but most of them just don’t message or respond to me like they use to. It’s probably too short notice. Hope you’re well.


I will post my reply and her reply back tomorrow but just wanted some feedback on this as I totally read it wrong. but no matter how many times I read it and even with her reply etc it still reads the same way to me

They want a lift to the garden centre and they want someone to sit and listen while they off load all their baggage/drama/bullshit and for some unknown reason they seem to think you A) care & B) are up for the task!!!!!!!!


What an odd message!!!!

 

[justheretoread99]

Hii, i hope im not on wrong thread.
Soo i also talked about this to my friends in Formula 1 Wags thread. There is this one boy at my dads town (my parents are divorced) and my best friend gave me his snap and that how I found him, so i sended him a snap a few times but he just opened it, so i did little digging on his insta ( we all done it at some point before you attack me) and found out that he is also F1 fan, my plan is to post om my private snap story me watching f1 race hoping that he will start snapping me back, my question is Should i do it, is it worth it??? Thank you

How old are you if you don’t mind me asking?

As this all sounds very childish. From his point of view, a random person added him. (As he didn’t give you his username. Your friend did) so you are a complete stranger to him. Which is probably why he didn’t snap you back.

Don’t go to so much effort over a stranger. If he’s interested in you, he’ll contact you back.

 

[If you say so...]

Im 17 sorry for not gving you more details I didnt wanted to be long. We kinda met one time when i was at my best friends grandmas house and he was playing basketball at the basketball court across the house and my best friend knows him, he didi introduced him self to me and I did sme thing but that was it, and also he bascially adds everyone on snap, and even have his snap in his insta bio, and I just realise know that he have really have snap svore wich doesnt have to mean anything but still

Sorry to be blunt but he's not interested, he would have responded if he was. you are looking too much into small things trying to find a glimmer of hope. Admire him from afar if you wish but don't keep sending him messages. Also, to add. Just because two people like F1 doesn't mean that they are soulmates.

 

[monga]

What would you all do in my situation? So my neighbours garden is an absolute shit hole, but that's not encroaching on my boundary so none of my business other than it being a complete eyesore when I look out my window. But the last couple of weeks they've started creating a massive pile of rubbish outside their back gate, it's a combination of black bags they couldn't fit in their bin and garden stuff they're getting rid of (kids toys etc). I've watched them just go to their back gate and chuck it out there. The problem is our back gardens back onto an alley way (not maintained by the council, but also not owned by us as part of our deeds) which we use as we have big double gates at the back of ours to allow us to park in our garden. The pile keeps encroaching in front of my gates, numerous times I've moved it back so it's outside theirs but I'll come home every day and have to get out my car and move a load of shit which they've chucked across the alley before I am able to open my gates and park my car. This morning I went out to collect my blue bin which had been emptied to find that when I opened my gate their blue bin hadn't been emptied as it was overflowing and they've just chucked a load of their recycling on to the pile which has obviously blown all over the alley.

I keep thinking I need to knock on their door and politely ask them to tidy it up or at least stop it from blocking my gatres and then if nothing happens make a complaint to the council - but my bf says that will just cause a dispute and we don't want to have any fallings out. To be honest though, they are a nuisance all round. I've caught their kids spraying my dog with a hose through the fence, they constantly shout and scream and swear and argue with each other. I'm just concerned if anything does lead to a dispute obviously when you sell your property it's a question asked on the forms as to whether there's been any disputes so I don't want to cause any issue. I also obviously generally don't want to be disliked by my neighbours. I'm stuck on what to do. They rent their property so they won't be bothered about the dispute side of things.

Report to environmental health , that will cause a rodent problem.
Falls under fly tipping I believe

Report an environmental problem

How to report environmental incidents, including pollution, damage to the natural environment, flooding, illegal fishing or a collapsed river bank.

www.gov.uk