The advice thread for random problems

[DCICassieStuart]

Definitely after. If you get paint on it, you'll never get it off.

 

[JoeBloggs]

not to give too much info but basically my parents are in debt, but are not dealing with it and have left it to me. my mum doesnt speak english and my dad doesnt handle the stuff. he for some reason does not pay the rent or tax etc as his friends do not pay it and have advised him to pay as well. he is rarley home but all the letters of home possessions and tax libality and courts come to me. most of the rent is payed by benefit due to low income but due to me not going into higher education benefits stopped paying for my share of rent and tax. due to covid being in peak and my social anxiety at it worst i wasnt able to find or look for a job. enforcement agents even had to come to get tax payments and extra pirce was added due to agent coming, my dad payed for it but blamed me for it. now the place that is supposed to be home is at stakes due to court hearing of repossesion, my mum blames me for not finding a job and paying it off and my dad is dismissing it. part of the rent is mine and partly is my dads as he earns a little bit more than recomended living wage so has to pay % of extra wage towards rent. but he is refusing to understand that and is saying all the rent is mine but i dont have anyhting to pay for it. i dont know what to do and incomes team arent really helping, how do i explain my situaton?
I am in need of serous help, enforcement agents came today, im scared what to do.

I take it you are an adult, personally I would move out. Do you have a friend or family to go to?

The tenancy is in your parents name, unless the added you to it once you were 18. If they refuse to take on their own responsibilities despite having numerous warnings there is little you can do. He is working, therefor he must understand enough to see that he is in trouble.

The other option is let them take it and you will be then classed as homeless and in theory be placed in temporary accommodation from the council.

Well really they shouldn't do that then, it was they that stated they would

If a job states there will be a GUARANTEED interview then sorry but am going expect one, it's not as if am in a city where there's 2000 people applying, am in a small run down town that I doupt they would have had over 30 apply

I think the phrasing is, you are guaranteed an interview IF you meet what they are looking for any any MH or disability won't hinder you. Say you were applying for a PA job and you couldn't use a computer, there is no point interviewing you as you cannot do the role.

 

[BettyCrockerr]

FRUIT FLIES I’ve got rid of all fruit, veg and any other food they could get to. I’ve tried the vinegar and soap trick but doesn’t seem to be working. Unless I’m not giving it long enough (a few hours). Any other advice? I’ve tried using fly spray too but either the one I have is no good or they’re immune. Is there anything that repels them that’s safe to spray on surfaces and maybe in the bin? I’m at my wits end with these little shits.

Bleach. Rinse your bins out with bleach & boiling water, then drop of neat bleach in the bottom before you put a bag in. Wipe surfaces down with diluted bleach, neat bleach down your sink and overflows etc, wipe down fruit bowels/salad drawers and inside fridges etc.

Basically bleach the shit out of everything.

 

[Snippysnips]

Yes!! That is what she wanted. I thought she wanted to chat over coffee as she was having some problems.
but turns out after my long reply saying sadly I could not take her there but I can chat if she would like that. but got a awful reply back from her.

Let me fetch mine and her replies and will post now. I got it wrong but you two would have known. hahaha

My reply... ( next morning)


Hi blank
lovely to hear from you. Unfortunately I am agoraphobic and although I now go out. meeting up with a stranger in a strange place would be impossible. But I don't mind chatting here, maybe until we know each other better? ... Also do you go to stand in the park etc? My daughter goes there to chat with like minded people and they also meet up on a Tuesday evening at a local pub. its very casual and people just drop in and out as the feel... I could find out the details if you like? my daughter is coming here this morning to pick up her children, so can ask her then? But if not you can always chat with me here . Many of us are suffering right now, it's been and still is a very intense time. You are not on your own or alone. xx



Her reply to that


Hi Purrrrrrr Thanks for replying.
Firstly, I have myself a lift.
Secondly, please don’t be offended by what I am about to say but I don’t do long chats on text behind a screen. It’s avoiding the issue. I have managed mild agoraphobia for over 30 years as a result of a sexual attack from which I possibly saved myself. I used cognitive behavioural therapy to help deal with the problem which has largely worked except when it comes to being in isolated spots outside. I worked taxis into my budget for many years for dealing with the isolated areas but now the money has run out. This is the resurfaced issue in recent weeks that is my main mental health issue now. I have been very fortunate in that for all the years I did community campaigning for which I asked for nothing in return people have helped me a lot in recent weeks and been incredibly supportive. I have also reached out to new neighbours in face, not from a computer or behind a screen. I feel so very sad for you that you are going to spend your days behind a screen which without I’m sorry to have to say will achieve nothing. I’m not going to waste my days on negativity and social media. I spend hours daily doing meditation which helps me a lot. No I’m not on my own because I’m reaching out to the right people. But you are Purrrrrrr and I feel very sad for you that you are. Look after yourself X

For someone that claims they have agoraphobia they certainly seem a bit short with you after you stated you have it, they would understand why someone would say no to meeting up, I myself have been through agoraphobia an would never meet a stranger let alone drive them about an id understand completly if someone said no to me if they too had it, they also seem a bit forward with telling you how to deal with it as well, while cognitive therapy is the best way, you don't just come out an tell someone especially a stranger to go get it, everyone deals with things differently, an why the assumption you are going to spend all your days behind a screen, they don't know you or what you do

Some people have such a cheek, like where do all these people get such confidence to reach out to a total stranger an act like a entitled ass

 

[Purrrrrrr]

It should be fine but check the package for storage once opened. I’m pretty sure you can just put in back in the cupboard but some might need to go in the fridge.

If it's a ready-made sauce where you would normally use the whole jar then would have to go in the fridge.

 

[littlepup]

I’ve been collecting bones during cooking to use for broth. Is it safe to use bones left over after eating?

Yes it’s safe, keep them refrigerated or frozen, you’ll heat them way beyond the danger zone to make broth.
If you have a butcher, you can usually get free meaty bones. Use your veg scraps (cauli leaves, peelings, stalks, onion skins, old lettuce etc can all be frozen until you’re ready) add to the bones and put them in the oven when you have it on. 20 mins min then add a load of water or roast until it catches then get it out & boil. The roasting first will give you the best flavour.
(Sorry if you know this)

 

[Snowjoke]

Thank you both. I’ve just mustered some willpower and have just sorted it via webassistant (as calling up is a hassle for me) and they didn’t ask for any dates. I also seem to have had 10 quid knocked off the renewal price too. I don’t know why these things always cause anxiety. I do read things but must admit, the job title escaped my notice. Phew, one thing off my list of things that are on my mind.

Glad you got sorted I am the same with certain things too so you’re not alone lol the web assistants are so handy and give you more time to think before answering lol

 

[Justhereforthebantslll]

I’d defo phone the police. Non emergency. I had a boy that knocked on my door asking for a random girl. This boy was only a teenager so I just assumed he was looking for his girlfriend. Or a girl he fancied. Ans then my neighbours came and asked about him as he had done the same all down the street and looking in car windows and trying door handles. So defo worth raising it. Even for peace of mind.

 

[Poptart]

Can anyone recommend a good place to buy a sofa from? Never know whether to trust online reviews tbh and/or those who gift their products to influencers!!

We've had sofas from DFS. They have always lasted really well. It's just annoying they gift sofas to Hinch.

 

[bourb0nbiscuits]

I get an odd urgency about it ? can't really put my finger on why they'd ask to meet if you don't really know this person , but they come across as a tad forceful

Yes agree with this, I would avoid tbh .

 

[shadowcat5]

If it's a ready-made sauce where you would normally use the whole jar then would have to go in the fridge.

Not sure why you’ve quoted me on this cause I wasn’t asking?

 

[1001 others]

Unfortunately it's one of those things that they have to see for themselves as some people get quite defensive about it which I understand, my aunt had a clown of a partner for years an despite us constantly telling her he was no good she had to see it for herself, maybe ask her how she would feel if it was you and the guy an what she would tell you if she felt a guy you were dating was like this, somtimes they need to look at these things from a outsider's point of view to understand them more

This is so true ... some people might think their friends / family are being jealous by alerting them to it.

------------------

I am so, so cold. I think I'm coming down with something. Just helps to tell someone(s) in all honesty! It's (meant to be) summer here, although there's been a bit of a cold wind today (still sunny though). I took a bath - didn't help; put on a couple of layers; didn't help; cuddled with my dog; didn't help; had a cup of hot tea and some chicken soup with gluten-free garlic bread; didn't help ... I think it's time for an early night with the electric blanket turned on high.

 

[monga]

Tattlers!

Anyyone any good tips for removing cigarette smoke from hair?
So basically I work in domiciliary care and I go to different peoples houses throughout the working day.

So today for example the house I visited had been smoking heavily and was still smoking as I entered, though they quickly put it out it was all lingering in the air.

My hair (and uniform) STINKS, I don't want to wash my hair every single day as it causes it to go greasy and also I like to limit washing as my hair is bleached but in good condition.

I've tried perfume but doesn't lift it, not keen on dry shampoo, so bar driving with my head out the window, I don't know what to do

My uniform isn't an issue as it's clean everyday and we are supplied with plenty.

Wear a shower cap or hazmat suit

 

[monga]

I think I had my drink spiked last night. I was out for a drink after dinner with my husband, one of my drinks was left to the side for a bit. He said it was like someone flicked a switch on me - I basically passed out all of a sudden and then started throwing up when I got home (I have never thrown up while drunk before). I feel dreadful today, like a hangover but times 10. Any suggestions as to how to feel better

My god hope you feel better soon ,have you reported it to the police ? I was just reading on our local FB a woman and her friend were in a Belfast establishment (she didn't name it ) and someone spiked her drink she was in an awful state had passed out ,throwing up and completely disorientated along with other things she wouldn't disclose, her friend helped her to the toilets and then reported it to the doorstaff and they put both of them to the street and wouldn't let them back inside ,she has reported to the police but put a warning out for others to be really vigilent with their drinks.

 

[Mamacita]

So I mentioned a while ago that my cat died. I had two and before she died me and the kids were talking about how we wanted a little ginger kitten. We were ready to have three cats. Then my cat died and we didn’t really think about it. My cat that’s been left behind is heartbroken still (understandably) they had been together awhile. The person who I got my two off has some kittens who were ready to go, last week. She’s offered me…..a ginger one. There’s quite a few “signs” pointing to this cat, if you will. However I worry about my other cat. Will she hate having a kitten around? Will it help her maybe? My cat is three so I am not sure how she will be with a small and tiny kitten around.

Have a look at Jackson galaxy videos,he's got tons of stuff on introducing cats and generally if it's done well, most cats can live together eventually. Especially if your cat is already used to having other cats around. My friends had a cat and got a kitten and they did not get on for a while, it took them about 6-8 months but now they're great friends. For my cats it only took a few weeks

 

[Snippysnips]

So I applied for a job that had a guaranteed interview for mental health/disabilities under the no discrimination act

Obviously I didn't get a interview

Can they do this? Basically I was told that I wasn't right for it, even though I matched what they were looking for

 

[Pesky Tarian]

Crows !! Of late 4 or 5 crows have taken to dancing up and down on my car, not only this they are taking the small smooth pebbles from the church path and flinging them around.
I couldn't figure out why the car had small stones on the roof but witnessed them yesterday, picking up and flinging the stones. I can only assume they think the stones are nuts and are trying to crack them ?!

 

[TwooTwooTwitTwitTwoo]

I’ve had to cancel my DEXA. i wish that was still all I had to worry about.

My mum who I was talking to this morning is now in intensive care and we have been asked to come home. How does someone go from having breakfast in the morning to fighting for her life?! I haven’t really connected it with being my mum. Right now it’s at all happening to someone else somewhere else.

this isn’t the thread for this. Sorry Everyone! I’m just counting hours to the train home in morning and not sure what to be doing

How absolutely awful. Thinking of you and hope your mum's condition improves soon 🤍

 

[Snippysnips]

thank you so much for responding and @1001 others i'm so sorry to hear your relative is going through something so traumatic! that's exactly what i want to avoid - these things can be flattering and exciting at the beginning but it can turn into an obsession. i just want to make sure i'm careful because i don't want her to feel like she can't tell me things. on checking his background - we live in a very small city where pretty much everyone knows everyone, although he is younger than me. we used to work in the same building, a very long time ago, and he was absolutely lovely. but in the meantime he's been in a relationship that's apparently scarred him. i'm seeing my sister tonight so i'll start by mentioning this casually i think!

Unfortunately it's one of those things that they have to see for themselves as some people get quite defensive about it which I understand, my aunt had a clown of a partner for years an despite us constantly telling her he was no good she had to see it for herself, maybe ask her how she would feel if it was you and the guy an what she would tell you if she felt a guy you were dating was like this, somtimes they need to look at these things from a outsider's point of view to understand them more

 

[watermelon sugar]

I think she’s just after a lift as well