The advice thread for random problems #7

[Serene Serena]

I live in a studio flat (kitchen, bathroom and main living room with pull down bed)
I own this property, been here years and have lived in flats previously so very used to having people living above.
Tenant above (also studio flat) moved in about 5/6 months ago and has been a nightmare from day one, lots of banging and crashing, slamming doors, very loud conversations, washing machine on early which is loud when it's directly above and numerous occasions of screaming and swearing once waking me in the early hours.
I contacted her landlord in the first month and explained, he apologised and said he'd speak to the agent who in turn said they would spk to the tenant. He also gave me the agents contact details.
Nothing changed so I rang the agents who were lovely and said they would contact her again, I thought at that point there was more than one person living there, they said only one on the tenancy but technically they could add another if needed, it wasn't a major issue.
They spoke to her and she claimed to have no idea what noises I was complaining about but I hoped things would settle.
They got worse.
I rang agent again this time speaking to the actual person in charge of said tenant, she was rude, kept interrupting me, insisted it wasn't unreasonable behaviour to have a washing machine on at 7am and that I had to expect to hear noise. Told me to ring police if I didn't like the screaming and swearing.
I explained several times I was well aware that noise was to be expected as was very used to having people above as I've lived here over 20 years but this is by far the worst tenant.
She basically told me new regs coming in meant it was harder to evict someone without either the landlord paying loads of money through a court and the only way to do it is if she breaks the tenancy by doing something serious such as trying to sell the flat.
Roll on several weeks and the screaming and shouting got worse, every few days, all different times, once three times in one day.
Her boyfriend was regularly staying so general noise was worse too.
And then the parents arrived.
And haven't left after six weeks.
They are definitely sleeping/staying there but I don't know if it's permanent or a long holiday.
She goes out to work but they are in the flat most of the day, really loud calls, bellowing over what sounds like facetime, I can also hear the tinnyness of the person they are speaking too.
I believe they are all Filipino or similar so can't understand what they are saying but they are loud!
One morning they woke me at 4am laughing and talking loudly, crashing around in their kitchen, the same at 6am the following day.
I literally get no peace on my days off. They wake me early every morning so I've had to start going to bed earlier to make up for never getting a lie in or chance to catch up on sleep.
On the plus side since they arrived she hasn't had a screaming/swearing incident.
They go to bed reasonably early.
On the negative they are noisy constantly when home.
I never get to relax on my days off or enjoy not having to get up early for work.
I'm exhausted and on edge constantly, I don't enjoy my own home anymore.
They have bellowed conversations in person and on the phone.
Play music loud.
Have visitors several times a week.
The dad is a smoker and goes out numerous times letting the main door slam every single time.
What do I do?
Am I wasting my breath complaining as they have already said it's hard to evict and clearly the agent isn't on my side?
Do I say she's got her parents staying in the hope she's broken her tenancy but risk looking a twat if it turns out they are just having a long holiday?
Do I just contact the landlord rather than the agent in the hope he will be more proactive although realistically he will just pass the info to the agents anyway?
Do I wait a few more weeks and see if the parents leave?
These places are not designed for multiple occupants, it's a squeeze even for a couple let alone three adults and potentially four when the boyfriend is there.
Sorry for such a long post!
Just to add selling/moving out isn't an option for me at the moment sadly.

Contact the council. That many people in a studio flat isn’t right.
With regard to the noise, have you considered installing acoustic ceiling panels?

 

[bozlem3080]

Ugh, I’m so sorry that happened to you at a time when things were stressful enough. Just to reassure you that so far the biopsy result timescales seem to tally even though our experiences on the day were different

Aww thank you, I hope they come back soon for both of us & its good news, I'm 99% sure its ok I just want it in writing, I'm anxious to call the department at the hospital because I will most probably be told its not been processed yet & again be made to feel bad for asking about my own health.

 

[Former_Antelopee]

Probably just made myself get food poisoning? I had made a egg mixture to cook into egg bites but had to put it in the fridge for 30minutes before cooking. I also had some egg mayo in the fridge for my tea. I thought I'll eat whilst I wait the 30mins. Ate then realised I ate the egg mixture instead of the egg mayo..

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

I’ve unintentionally lost a lot of weight through stress. It settled but now I’m losing again. Tbf we are going through a very stressfull time in our lives which should settle in the next month or two.
But what can I try to do not to lose anymore? I know this sounds like a “good” problem especially as I weren’t skinny to start with. But I’m getting worried. Not because I think it’s sinister but just because it’s not natural for me to easily lose weight.
I want to keep the weight but in a healthy manner. So not picking on sweets and cakes etc

 

[Chocolategoggler]

Thank you I never thought of asking tbh I'm one of those people who hates asking & putting people out, my hair personally is absolutely awful, has zero curl just pure frizz, I straighten it, tie it up & that's it, i sweat so bad if I wear it down heat literally comes off my head even in winter its so weird, I've just never been shown how to style it properly & had the piss taken out of me by my so called mother during my teenage years I've kind of just accepted it, i used to try & wear it down occasionally as a teenager using a whole can of mousse in the process giving it that crispy horrible texture. I just hate the fact a lot of hairdressers have you sitting in front of a big window like you are in some kind of freak show as well.

Have you tried the conditioner that comes with hair dye (L'Oréal)?
Although it says to use once a week I use it every wash as my hair loves it so much despite being fine texture. No more frizzy curls.
ETA. I posted my regime on another thread. May work for you too and it's cheap!:

Your tips on how to look more Groomed, Glamorous or Polished #16

Does anyone have any non negotiable products to take on holiday for bleach blonde hair? Go on holiday very soon and want to keep my hair in decent condition. I know hats and shading from the sun etc should be priority, but for being in the pool and out at night what products stop hair frying...

tattle.life

 

[Ray1403]

Congratulations! It’ll be great. My eldest moved into her first home in August, so these three tips are from their experience. Use a good, recommended solicitor, not the cheapest (eldest did, the seller didn’t). Find out where the stopcock is. Take a pic of the meter/s as soon as you move in.

i would also add put a moisture alarm under the bath/water tank in the airing cupboard! stops any leaks going unnoticed and you can catch them before they cause damage.

 

[Mamacita]

I like St Eval. Good scents, nothing chemically, last all the way through. Tins, tea lights, or fancier. Made in north Cornwall.

Thanks they sound perfect !

 

[Mamacita]

Anyone suffer with chronic uticaria? The doctors just tell me to take an anti histamine but it’s been going on for a long time and if I don’t take the one anti histamine tablet every 24hrs my skin breaks out in hives and I cannot do anything. I’m just concerned there’s a deeper issue like auto immune illness or something. I also have stomach/gut problems when my skin tingles and the hives come on. Don’t really know what to suggest to my doctor.

Ive had this forever, didn't know it has a name. If i dont take an antihistamine i get very itchy. Literally been taking them for 20 years daily. Sorry that's not helpful to you at all, just interested to hear any other responses!

 

[Melian]

To be honest, if you can hear the person they are speaking to on the phone, the sound insulation must be terrible and there is nothing you can really do about that other than try to mitigate it with noise cancelling headphones etc.

I live in a flat and can hear both sides when they cough. The insulation is crap

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

I wouldn’t even say I’m the stressed type of person I’m quite calm most of the time. I don’t think it’s possible to remove stress from life like that, it would mean not having a care in the world and that’s not possible. I’m going to get some blood work done to see what’s going on.

You might not think you are stressed but it is stress that causes it. My SIL only got it under control once her daughters life settled down.
And Mr Lolz were told by his GP to leave his first wife and when he did the urticaria disappeared

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

I’m upset because I got really anxious again this evening and asked my bf for constant reassurance whilst he was watching football. Yes it’s annoying, granted; and he said I ask the same questions over and over again and it doesn’t help. Which is fair.

But he also said that I “spoke through the whole first half” which hurt because I thought we were just chatting. I said I felt like an inconvenience and said I wasn’t, I should just have “more self awareness when someone wants to watch something”.

Because he’s usually so lovely, this really hurt. I am just sat in the bedroom upset whilst he watches football.

Do you have soundcloud? I listened to these NHS relaxation tracks through it. I was given a CD with these tracks when I saw MIND and it really helps.
Here is a link

Progressive Relaxation - Deep Relaxation

Listen to Progressive Relaxation - Deep Relaxation by Wellbeing #np on #SoundCloud

on.soundcloud.com

What I would say is that you need to try and self regulate and listening to relaxation tracks will help with this.
Other people can only give so much reassuration. As your BF pointed out, you ask the same question over and over. I used to do this too.

 

[DWASN]

I've bought a silent night heated throw. I've had it on for 40 minutes this evening and only half got warm. Surely it can't take longer than this to warm fully?. I don't know if I have a defective product or I'm impatient?!.

That doesn’t sound right. I brought one (not silentnight an Aldi branded one) around 6 ago which is still going strong & it heats up straight away. I’d return it for a refund or exchange as annoying as that is!

 

[Former_Antelopee]

Personally I never use a mortgage advisor to renew. I’m with Santander so upto 6 months in advance I can look at all their rates/deals and decide. They are a large bank that I feel I get a really good rate/deal and don’t need to be changing companies. I do this online and also always select the deal with no fee and lowest rate for however long I want to fix for. Done this for the last 20 years and find it straightforward and always feel I’ve got a good deal.

Thanks I was thinking of doing it myself but read that advisors get better rates we cannot see ourselves but I doubt they'd be that much better. I'm with Halifax so think I can do it 4 months in advance to see their rates but might have a look a bit earlier for others since I've read that rates are likely to go up end of year/January and that's when 4months will roughly be

 

[Penguin2022]

This is not really a problem but I need help

I’ve been given an early Christmas present, £200 voucher for John Lewis. I don’t shop there particularly often and when I do it’s usually gifts for other people! I need inspiration on what to buy….had a tough year for lots of reasons and money has been tight so I sort of want to treat myself but don’t know to what! So my current thoughts are:

1. Splurge (on…?)
2. Use it to buy Christmas presents and keep the money I’ve saved for Christmas instead
3. Spend it in Waitrose on a fancier food shop?

I’ve just bought nice bedding from elsewhere as that would have been my first thought otherwise….

 

[Kim Mild]

Do you have any library's close by? Some have started to offer little rooms you can use for this, not sure about the times they close though, I know some of mine are open till 8pm but it's rare they are

It will bring closed by that time.

 

[conrea37]

Not an electric one, but I love my Kuhn Rikon opener far more than I should!

Just watched a 90 second video on Amazon and I can see why! Thank you

 

[Former_Antelopee]

Does anyone have recommendations for work shoes? I currently wear crocs but I think I want to try something new. I've been looking an onclouds or brooks. Preferably waterproof but don't have to be

 

[Carapop]

Ok am I being a miserable cow? I don’t have children and I’m not maternal so I am entirely open to accepting that this is all just me.

I live in an apartment complex. My apartment is above a kind of open area. It’s just an intersection of pathways really. Every wkend, all day long, kids are playing there, bouncing balls and laughing and shouting at eachother.

I keep my windows open because I’m perimenopausal and dying of the heat constantly. The sound from outside goes absolutely through me. All I want to do is sit in my living room and read my book in peace.

I understand that I can expect a child free life but not a child free world. There are no back gardens for these kids to play. They have a right to be outside. But my ears.

 

[Darvos]

Aww thank you, I hope they come back soon for both of us & its good news, I'm 99% sure its ok I just want it in writing, I'm anxious to call the department at the hospital because I will most probably be told its not been processed yet & again be made to feel bad for asking about my own health.

If you have a number for the department a call regarding timescales might not be a bad thing. It sounds as though, understandably, you feel anxious waiting but also anxious about contacting, so what the hell! Here’s to good news for you, or at the very least some timescale clarity.

 

[owen2110]

We’ve been doing a home extension & I bought a lovely dining table from the charity shop & decided i wanted to sand the orangey varnish off and just have the lovely wood (with a top coat of matt wax). Anyway, I made a start on it (see photo) and then loads of stuff got in the way and it ended up neglected under a tarpaulin sheet for a month or so. In this time it’s somehow got wet and i now have a few water marks and small mould spots on the wood. Does anyone know how or *if* these can be removed? Annoyed at myself for starting and not finishing it in one go !!