I’m so glad I’ve had a reply
! I’m really struggling at the moment. My son is verbal so I imagine it must be incredibly difficult having to work out your daughters needs which leads to more frustrations for both of you! None of the mums speak to me at nursery, they hate us. I just can’t take much more. We have very little support as no one else can cope 
My son is 4.5, he is verbal. It’s just constant every single day and we have little to no support with him. My husband and I are usually on the same page and it doesn’t affect us but it has started to cause arguments between us now. We have been declined direct payments because apparently he is not disabled
. Do you get much support? XxWe went for many many years without support, last year we got a disability social worker and there are some things in place now. He is at a special school too, which is a huge source of support xMy son is 4.5, he is verbal. It’s just constant every single day and we have little to no support with him. My husband and I are usually on the same page and it doesn’t affect us but it has started to cause arguments between us now. We have been declined direct payments because apparently he is not disabled
Yes, things have only really started to improve in the last year or so. His communication is nearly zero still, but the understanding is coming on a bit which has lessened his frustration so much!
Do you have access to visuals or alternative communication methods? Would he be able to understand/use Signalong or Makaton?
He is starting inde specialist in September I’m hoping that’s going to bring him on loads. We just really need some respite
he normally drops at about 11pm and is up for 7 but will happily crash around in a dark room for 3 hours. You can tell he’s overtired. How is your sons sleep?it’s so exhausting isn’t. Keep fighting for the ehcp and the specialist placement. I had to go all the way to appeal to get our chosen school but I got there in the end. My local SENDIASS supported me through the whole process I’d definitely recommend getting in touch with your local service if you haven’t already
Does you son go to nursery? They can refer to paediatrician or your gp/health visitor. My son was referred by the health visitor after his 2 year check up as he was non verbal and showing autistic traits.
Yes he goes to nursery, they’ve been a bit tit really as whenever I’ve raised concerns they always say he’s very laid back, never ever kicks off, will happily communicate all of his needs etc which makes me think he’s masking potentially as he’s a totally different child at home and not in the “you left me so I’m punishing you” sense like you’d expect..which is also the same as my partner at that age according to his mum. They did say he’s a very independent player though and prefers to play alone than with others. I think I may raise it again with them when we go back after half term as its getting really quite bad at home. He does have enlarged ventricles in his brain which is a hard marker for autism so ill raise it with nursery if not I think I’ll go to the GP. Thank you for your reply xx
He is probably definitely masking in nursery. Write everything down and call a meeting with the nursery with your concerns and push and push for referrals. It’s such a long process. We started to raise concerns with my sons nursery around 18m, pushed for referrals at around 2 and applied for EHCP, EHCP awarded at age 3 but was tit, diagnosed age 4 and headed towards tribunal to make his EHCP water tight and and asked for independent specialist. LA conceded just before tribunal and we got what we want. That was a long battle but not half as long as what some other parents go through. Deffo no harm in pushing and asking for referrals now. If you want any advice I don’t mind at all we’ve been through so much already so feel like I’ve got quite a lot of knowledge to share when it comes to EHCP, referrals and diagnosis xx
