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Happy Lady

VIP Member
I go with retirement age so above 60, it's not always obvious to see though, so I'll typically sit up the back or middle, but if I see someone come on an they are obviously struggling an front seats are gone then I'll give my seat in the middle up

It's hard cause while some you can tell who needs a seat, others you really can't, so while I can manage I'll stick to the back

Thank you for your response, and also @JoeBloggs .

The reason I ask is because when I get on a bus, I see these notices and simply ignore them, as I think they are for old people. However, I now realise that as I'm almost 70, perhaps I fit into the "old" category. Yet, I don't look it, feel it or act it 🤣. So for now I'll just continue letting other old people use those seats. 😇
 
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Pesky Tarian

VIP Member
Thanks, I know I can do all of this on a smart TV and don't need Google home or anything or to control it with my phone as the smart TV that I have used has an internet browser and and I have WiFi. But I wanted to use a separate TV and because the main TV is connected to an outside cable TV aerial? I wondered if a separate TV with no outside cable or TV aerial would work only using the internet on it. Sorry if that's complicated, I just wanted to know for sure before I go out and buy a smart TV. I don't want to watch digital channels, though if I could that would be a bonus but I just want to use it for the internet as I watch online films ( no subscriptions) just a website.
Ah ok so my children's TV's have no aerial and they can still use all the smart TV features. You just connect the TV to the WiFi. Again you'll need a browser app.

Just a little advice we have a new Samsung smart TV which cost a pretty penny and it's awful to navigate and incredibly temperamental. The children have Hisense which were far cheaper and I find much more user friendly. Just checked and there is a browser app pre installed 🙂.
 
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What would be a good gift for someone who's just gotten a new home? Can't really go plants due to their cats, it isn't a first home either so don't really want to get like home care stuff since they are really going have everything they need

Stuck on what to gift them
A basket of cleaning supplies and a bottle of wine (I stick a note on for saying 'when you've finished!'. Cheap, always useful, and I tend to put it in a kind of storage box that can go in cupboards or bedrooms etc. Can usually do it for about £20 from B&M!
 
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bozlem3080

VIP Member
Keep looking and also please tell your ex-boss the truth, maybe they'd like you to come back? When I was laid off beginning of the year, everyone from my past working life was so kind to me and offered to help, keeping an ear out for open positions, giving a recommendation, etc. And even if they can't take you back just now, maybe they know something and have an open ear.
Thank you, I realise now the grass isn’t greener after all. I just feel so stupid, I’m not the most confident person either which doesn’t help so starting new jobs fills me with dread, but need to be a grown up & just keep applying in the hope I find something either with more money, hours or both x
 
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Former_Antelopee

VIP Member
I was gonna say a justeat voucher as when I moved into my house I had a few takeaways whilst getting everything sorted in the house. Couldn't be bothered to cook after sorting stuff out
 
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bozlem3080

VIP Member
Were you promised a certain amount of hours? Because you have some recourse if it was promised
Yes I explained with my job I had at the time I was doing 20 hours in a supervisor role, but I wanted more minimum 24, but my contract is for a minimum 16 hours, I’m absolutely gutted & feel so stupid, my ex boss asks me occasionally how I’m doing & I have to lie saying I’m working long hours & really enjoying it, the truth is I hate it, everyone else is so much younger than me, faster than me & I’m just given the bare minimum & crap hours. I have zero qualifications, I was in a very controlling marriage where my ex didn’t want me to work & just bring our children up then he cheated & I basically had to start from scratch.
 
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Pesky Tarian

VIP Member
I keep dreaming about my ex, we split 7 years ago and I’ve been in a very happy relationship with my new partner for 5 years, but it’s 2-3 times a week and I always wake up feeling really weird. It was a pretty messy split, we were together 11 years, had planned to get married, and we split because he cheated.
I hate waking up feeling like I miss him, and I’ll never contact him, but I just start overthinking
I've been with my husband 20 years but still sometimes dream that I'm in the house I shared with my ex. I think it's your subconscious reminding you how great you have it now in comparison!.
 
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Eyespy00

Chatty Member
There’s no way this is anything other than a sexually motivated crime involving children I’m afraid. I strongly suggest you only take note of the facts of the case (when you can find them) and not what he ends up telling you.
The court listing and charges have been published now so there’s no room for him to lie to us (not that he’d tell his family anyway). It’s all been very secretive & the only information we’ve had has been practically prised from my MIL.
 
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Snippysnips

VIP Member
So this is really trivial but it’s also upsetting me, I started a new job about a month ago, everyone is lovely apart from one person who twice now has commented about my name, the first instance was ‘my ex sister in law has the same name as you, I hate that name’ then he said ‘oh your name is in that song ha ha’ then reeled off the singer/band, now I have a pretty common name, it’s an ok name, I got home from work & just wanted to cry, he has a really common name as well, I think that’s pretty rich slagging my name off when you have such a basic name, I just don’t know what to do because he seems quite popular & has been there for years. Or perhaps I’m just being sensitive? I’m not a very confident person & can take things to heart.
Personally I'd be kind of short with someone who kept at me because of my name, I'd need to back talk like "what about my name is actually bothering you so much" or " is it because your names so common your jealous of mine" but then that's just me, I don't think your being sensitive, he seems like such an arse, like why is a name bothering him so much? Maybe talk with management about it if it continues if you don't want to face him yourself though, having worked in certain lines of work I've had to learn to be able to snap back at people but I understand if you didn't want to do that
 
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Happy Alpaca

VIP Member
So my work are looking at changing my teams hours. As it'll be a new contract I've heard they can change our benefits mostly sick pay. I have very good sick pay right now so I'll be annoyed if this happens as I'd rather not change my hours and they'll force us and then I'd lose the good sick pay. Old staff have the good sick pay, new staff it's not so good but when they changed this we got a letter to say that if your on the old sick pay your entitlement won't change. Is it just me that thinks it's unfair that I'll lose it if they force us to change our contracts? I do understand in a way as I'll be working less hours but still that's their choice not mine. Also if they then change us again at some point I've lost that benefit even if our hours went up in the future
When my work were making changes, I found it useful to talk it through with ACAS...
I found them really knowledgeable.
 

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Brian Butterfield

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Am I crazy to consider buying a little cottage in the woods and moving there?

It's basically got no modern amenities (well water, solar panel only electricity, wood stove for cooking and heating) but I just... yearn for the quiet and silent and I think either I tear apart how I currently live or it will tear me apart.
This sounds like my dream. Just throw in a few rescue animals. Heaven. I think so many of us are yearning for this kind of peace in today's ever increasing insane world.
 
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Thank(space)you

VIP Member
The person I'm dating has recently been diagnosed with cancer . They don't want to talk about it or think about it. I'm fairly knowledgeable in this field from medical aspect, but emotionally in terms of support I don't know what to do. Do I just follow their wishes and not discuss it? I've said I'm there for them whatever they need, be it advice, emotional support, sympathy etc but is there anything else I should be doing?
 
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Snippysnips

VIP Member
Sorry to be back for advice again already, but so very grateful to you Tattlers.

I'm trying to figure out if I am being overly anxious about a work mistake. I made a mistake that has caused me to have two panic attacks - one when I realised what I'd done, another now. I reached out to a former media partner about whether they're interested in our two upcoming events, and they responded keenly. What I didn't realise was that the lead of one of the events had vetoed their involvement (political stuff). I honestly can't remember if my boss had mentioned it before. I have a feeling she had and I've fucked up by mentioning that event to them.

Logically on the whole nothing has been agreed, I didn't even say in the email any kinds of terms or written agreements, just asked about their interest. The way I worded the email it would simply be easy to go 'great you're interested, let's go with event 1' and not even mention the other. I haven't told my boss I emailed them. I'm terrified. I honestly don't know what to do. I feel like there's a chance I can say nothing, not follow up, and my boss will reach out about the specific event when they're ready and I pretend nothing happened. They also could pop back up and ask what's going on.

I don't know if I'm overreacting - I received some worrying health news and life carries on around it, which is tough - and my anxiety is awful about it. Now I've gone back to work and I'm just a wreck. Not even about the health, that's the thing, I seem to be an absolute mess about work itself - am I performing ok, does my boss like me, is this a huge mistake that is going to get me fired etc.

I suppose what I'm asking for is general advice here. My GP isn't particularly helpful, I've spoken to him about anxiety and been given Google-worthy breathing exercises and told to go away. I'm at a bit of a loss as to how to go on - I just know how I am isn't sustainable.
The worst thing you can do is just leave it, it's always better to just be honest an confess up, we all make mistakes an hopefully she will understand that an if you have a solution then great, but it will be far worse in the long run if you just leave it, trying to explain why you didn't admit to it is always going be worse than just being honest about it

I was always told by my own boss that if I made a mistake to bring it up an it can be dealt with quickly while it would be easier rather than it be left an it get messier an harder to fix
 
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Snippysnips

VIP Member
I have a manager who is a bit scatter brained, the way they explain things is all muddled and not structured at all, as well as their written communication. Obviously it’s not something I can mention as it’ll sound like a personal attack which is not what I’m about. I just would like clear structured communication. I feel I understand things less when they explain things which makes no sense so I just learn on my own way which is a bit sad. Not sure whether to ask them for clearer communication?
I have a boss exactly like this as well, it might feel wrong speaking up about it but trust me it helps, the way I brought it up to mine was explaining that sometimes in my head things can get a bit muddled so sometimes I'll misunderstand communication so could we work on a way where it was more simplified, like a "here's a list of instructions written 1 to 5" so that it was broken down for me, same with if it was verbal, she'd ask something an I'd say back "so this is what am doing" an I'd say back what I understood so that we both knew how it was coming across to one another

It can be hard when someone's a bit scattery because to them they don't realise they are, but you do need to be able to communicate an understand otherwise it just stresses you out trying to figure it out on your own
 
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HelloStereo

VIP Member
If someone was like this with me, I'd walk away, I'd take it as they were wanting to end the friendship, if other friends were bringing it up or similar then I'd think maybe there was something I'd need to work on but if it's only just one then it's clear he's wanting to move on an I'd let him

If in future after I'd moved on an they brought something up along the lines of "why are you distant" I'd throw their own line back at them like "the weather's too nice to spend it on people who I've moved on from"
Yeah, it's been going on for years where he'd say something like "I don't want you in my life and I don't want to be in yours" and before I used to let it go but now I've deleted him from everything and I'm not sad about it.

I'd love to throw it back at him but also I don't know if I ever want to speak to him again haha. Even when I think we're having a pleasant conversation he finds a way to make me feel bad about myself.
 
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boomska

VIP Member
Sorry to be back for advice again already, but so very grateful to you Tattlers.

I'm trying to figure out if I am being overly anxious about a work mistake. I made a mistake that has caused me to have two panic attacks - one when I realised what I'd done, another now. I reached out to a former media partner about whether they're interested in our two upcoming events, and they responded keenly. What I didn't realise was that the lead of one of the events had vetoed their involvement (political stuff). I honestly can't remember if my boss had mentioned it before. I have a feeling she had and I've fucked up by mentioning that event to them.

Logically on the whole nothing has been agreed, I didn't even say in the email any kinds of terms or written agreements, just asked about their interest. The way I worded the email it would simply be easy to go 'great you're interested, let's go with event 1' and not even mention the other. I haven't told my boss I emailed them. I'm terrified. I honestly don't know what to do. I feel like there's a chance I can say nothing, not follow up, and my boss will reach out about the specific event when they're ready and I pretend nothing happened. They also could pop back up and ask what's going on.

I don't know if I'm overreacting - I received some worrying health news and life carries on around it, which is tough - and my anxiety is awful about it. Now I've gone back to work and I'm just a wreck. Not even about the health, that's the thing, I seem to be an absolute mess about work itself - am I performing ok, does my boss like me, is this a huge mistake that is going to get me fired etc.

I suppose what I'm asking for is general advice here. My GP isn't particularly helpful, I've spoken to him about anxiety and been given Google-worthy breathing exercises and told to go away. I'm at a bit of a loss as to how to go on - I just know how I am isn't sustainable.
Ahhhh man that’s so stressful!! I think the best thing is to have ownership and mention it to your boss what’s happened and say “I accidentally did something but I have a solution” like yoh said! She’s your manager, she’s there to support you. And what if it comes back later on down the line and she finds out!

im sorry the doctor wasn’t helpful. He/she was probably only thinking that you have this one thing you’re anxious about. I went when I was 19 in uni about my anxiety and he went “it’s just normal anxious nerves. Go reverse” when u should’ve said I have it everyday which I can just manage. But it gets worse when I have XYZ. And I didn’t return until I was 25/26 about my anxiety and she wanted to refer me to counselling first and I had to ask for medication.

Obviously I don’t know what you do but I assume it’s not being a doctor/surgeon from what you’ve said so j always remind myself “I am saving PDFs, not saving lives!” When I make a mistake at work to bring me down to earth!
 
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Snippysnips

VIP Member
It was a significant wedding anniversary for us a few weeks ago and hardly anybody sent us well wishes, by that I mean we had 100 guests at the wedding, we got 4 cards and that's it. I was so upset on the day, me and my husband had a little date night but honestly throughout the day I was just so down about it.

Since then one of my bridesmaids has sent an apology (one week later) and we received a card 8 days later from a close family member.

I feel so torn about how to deal with it, things like this affect me so much emotionally but then if I ever say anything to anyone about me being upset I'm always made out as if I'm being dramatic/told people have busy lives etc.

As a side note I remember every little thing about my nearest such as first cinema dates with kids etc never mind anniversaries and will always message! My husband tells me that's my issue...I make too much effort and get nothing back but I also find it hard not to, that's the way I am
Haven't gottan anything for anyone's wedding anniversary, couldn't tell you when any weddings were that I've been too including family an my brother's, once it's past I just don't even think about it, I get it might feel hurtful to you but it was your day, people are just guests at it, I've always made sure to get them good presents but once it's over then it's not something am ever going think about again, to me it was just a nice day that's passed
 
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tomato_paste

Chatty Member
Don‘t feel stupid, you did what you thought best with what information you had.
And they lied about the hours as well - horrific, actually, how they can treat people like that and there is no recourse because the contract says 16 hours instead.
 
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Stressed

Active member
Need some advice please. I found a large lump in my breast this week, saw my gp the next day who is referring me to the breast clinic. Yesterday I’ve had a text from the gp booking me in for a blood test on Monday.

Has anyone been through this, Is it normal to take bloods and what happens at the breast clinic? Will it just be a mammogram anc you have to wait weeks for results. Any advice gratefully received x
When I was seen at breast clinic I saw the consultant, had a mammogram, consultant reviewed it and I then saw the consultant again afterwards.

Re the bloods it might be that the breast clinic ask for bloods prior to the appointment so they don't have to get them done while you are there (and you have to wait for the results). I see a hospital consultant and get my bloods done at the GP 24-48 hours before I go.

Try not to worry the vast majority of lumps are nothing
 
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littlepup

VIP Member
I’ve got allergies and take medication for it. The medication I take isn’t working anymore so I’ve rang the docs who said I need to physically see the gp. Didn’t really want to as I know it’s allergies as it’s been confirmed previously and really I just need a change of medication.

Try to make an appointment with my gp to try and move to a different medication. I can’t do this as they don’t have any appointments for the month and you can’t prebook after that. Told receptionist that I don’t feel I need a physical appointment but a phone one would be fine if they are available. It’s literally a 5 min conversation of “my pills don’t work, can you put me on something else please? But nope I can’t book one of those either.

She advised an e-consult. So did that, was told I’d hear back yesterday via email. Haven’t had a response.

I really don’t know what to do! Do I phone up the gp AGAIN saying I haven’t had a response? I don’t want to be a pain in the arse as I know it’s just allergies and other people have more serious health issues but honestly I feel shit and slightly annoyed that a simple request is being so problematic. I’m tempted to just double up on my current meds to see if that works but I’m a bit iffy about not being advised to do that and plus that means I will go through my current prescription too quickly before I’m able to order more.
Help!
Keep pushing. It’s your right. You’re not being a pain in the arse.
It amazes me they can manage home visits for the very elderly who’re being kept alive by medication but can’t find appointments for the young and relatively healthy then wonder why people are getting sicker! It’s a shambles but you shouldn’t have to suffer.
 
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