The advice thread for random problems #6

[cowtastrophe]

White vinegar is good for this! I have used it on smelly teenage boys pits on school shirts!
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I guess this is a random problem, so wondering if anyone can help...
I'm going on my first long haul flight on Tuesday and starting to get really nervous! Do things like Kalms work? Or if anyone has any other recommendations, I'd be v grateful! Thank you

Wear loose clothing and layers you can remove/put on. It’s probably a bit late for it but if you can get hold of some Loop earplugs, they are the schizz or you can use headphones with white noise to help block out the plane noise. Also a sleep mask is essential. I usually take a couple of Piriton and as much alcohol as I can lay my hands on but I’m aware that’s not the recommended solution haha.

 

[chickhicks86]

So today I had a Tesco delivery booked (it’s been booked for a long time) between 7-10pm with all of my Xmas food.
It got to where I was ‘stop no.3’ and the vehicle didn’t move I stayed awake incase there was a delay, no notifications at all. Needless today there was no update and no delivery.
I will call customer service but just wondered if this has happened to anyone else recently & what normally happens/where I stand legally. Thanks.

"Legally" nothing I wouldn't have thought. You might get a gesture of goodwill voucher out of them, and it's very naughty that they didn't update you - something must have happened to the van or driver. I understand it's very inconvenient though - you must be so so annoyed! Call or message them asap, if it was an emergency they might not have been able to get in touch yesterday but possible can still sort something for you today?

 

[littlepup]

Absolutely reheat in gravy, the beef will take it better but the chicken will be fine sliced or separated. Just add slices to a gravy bath (can be weak gravy granule mix) for a few mins. If anyone doesn’t like gravy, a little tin foil envelope sealed with a table spoon of water and pop it in a hit oven for a few mins. That’s how we did it when I worked in a pub kitchen.
Heat the plates too and have the serving gravy really hot.
Gordon Ramsay says to rest your turkey as long as you cook it and don’t worry if it’s cold, the gravy will heat it.

 

[littlepup]

Any tips on how to bounce back faster from setbacks in life. Everyone I know recovers so fast, they’ll already be in a new relationship or new job quickly even if things ended badly. I’ve read it takes around 36 months to recover from a toxic situation and but I feel like I need to be a bit more mentally stronger.

I agree with lolz, there’s no time line but what I would say is don’t shut yourself down completely until your ready. Sometimes the universe will surprise you. So I wouldn’t get on dating sites if I wasn’t ready but I also wouldn’t avoid social situations or if something arose organically, I’d let it run.
Equally I wouldn’t put myself forward for a promotion but if I were head hunted I’d at least explore the opportunity.
Things will find you when you’re not looking if you’re open to them and the joy of that can make you feel stronger in itself.

 

[Brian Butterfield]

Parents of teenagers please help! My 14 year old daughter has arranged to sleepover at her friend's house Sunday evening, but I'm not sure on the etiquette, do I need the friend's parent's phone number? Do I just let my teen get on with it? They are organising it over WhatsApp. I know where the house is and who the girl is, but no idea on the parents. Never met them.

She hasn't been to a sleepover since she was in year 5 and she's year 10 now so I've no idea how these things work

I recently had some of my son's 14/15-year-old friends stay the night. Out of 7 of them, only two of the mums checked in with me that it was ok. I obviously had no issue with any of them staying, but I was surprised that the parents didn't message me, as I would want to know exactly where my child was (at 14, I was off clubbing in London doing all sorts, so I don't trust teens ).

If it were me, I would get the mum's number and ping her a little message, thanking her for having your daughter stay the night or something along those lines.

 

[petitspois]

Thank you all, by the way. I was a bit worried about asking for advice in case people thought I was one of those neglectful owners who leaves their dogs alone all day to bark. We really aren’t!

A behaviourist told me a dog barks when it wants something to happen or when it doesn't so that helped me to understand that my dog barking at other dogs and animals going past our front window is protecting his land and doesn't want those animals to come closer. That's not much use but I tend to think about it when my dog is kicking off!

 

[Snippysnips]

Any recommendations on a good washing machine that will do heavy loads like duvets an such, would be a bonus if the company took away the old one and fitted the new one but it's not a big deal as I just want the washing machine itself

 

[Sunlifeover50]

Could you install a security light that isn’t just triggered by sensors and point it towards their car. One comes up with a remote control if you google them. When he’s in the car switch it on so it’s blinding him back. If he says anything just fakely apologise and say you didn’t realise it was so sensitive it must be him being in the car so long. I’m petty though

 

[Magwitch]

I've been invited to a Muslim friend's house for a meal.
Should I take something and if so what.
I'm not sure what the expectations are. ,

I always take something. Flowers would be a good bet in this case. There are some lovely spring bouquets at the moment.

 

[AladdinSane]

Does anyone have any advice about how to not feel guilty about decisions you make?

I feel like I constantly overthink everything and worry that people are going to be mad/sad about decisions I make which then means I constantly go through pros and cons of decisions. And when I make a decision, it eats away at me, feeling like I've disappointed someone.
It's so random

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

Id like some advice regarding cleaners if anyone can help I've never had one before but I'm considering hiring one on an adhoc basis as sometimes when I have a lot of work on i let housework slide a lot.

But I just wondered how it works. Do they have a key to your property and just let themselves in? Do they use their own stuff? Do they tidy as well?

I think you’ll struggle getting one willing to work adhoc. They normally have a rota.
It might be worth employing someone to do a proper clean and then doing an hour or two every couple of weeks

 

[cowtastrophe]

Can anyone recommend a good office chair for home use which fits the health and safety requirements. I’ve got back issues at the moment and I think it’s from my posture when working

We have the IKEA Markus. It’s not the cheapest but both of us have suffered from bad backs from desk work and it’s really good.

MARKUS Vissle dark grey, Office chair - IKEA UK

MARKUS Vissle dark grey, Office chair. Adjust the height and angle of this chair so your workday feels comfortable – the mesh backrest lets air through so you keep cool even when the workload rises. Built to outlast years of ups and downs.

www.ikea.com

 

[tomato_paste]

Glad to hear the aygo has cameras on it because those are a huge plus for me, I know most modern cars have them now but my parents one doesn't even though it's a young car, so wasn't sure if the aygo did or didn't, also good to hear there's very little problems with them

The place today was trying to talk me into one of those rent schemes which I don't want, whatever I go for I want to own it an want it for years so need it to last

I have an Aygo.

Pros:
Rear cameras!
It's very compact so parking is very easy to find, perfect city car. I easily fit into the tight spaces of our (built in the 70's, so small dimensions) car park where the newer SUVs and even regular cars struggle.
Very little repair work, ever - never had to do anything to pass the MOT.
Very reliable, drove 1000 miles on it over a weekend, no complaints.
Mileage/gallon is good.

Neutrals:
Back seats are easy to lay down and take back up again, booth is not that roomy but not too bad for a small car. I have transported IKEA furniture, bicycles and even a queen size bed with it (taken apart).
I have the cabriolet roof edition, which is a nice gimmick but I never really use it. Useful for transporting beds, you can stick the longer pieces out of the roof.
Sleeping in it can be done if you're small enough

Cons:
Quite underpowered for what it says on the tin. My old Fiat panda had less horsepower but felt much more dynamic. I need to use a lowish gear to get up to speed to merge on the motorway (which uses a lot of petrol at that point) and when I use the AC, it is noticabely draining power from the engine.
Only 4 seats.

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

I don't think they have the chance to have a wake up call (again), that's why I feel bad I bought his name into it

Just tell the truth. As somebody in management it's so annoying when people tell you half truths. Because you can't "fix" problems if you don't actually know what is happening.
So you think you are fixing something but actually the root cause of the problem was not X it was Z. Now I've also wasted time and am angry and it looks bad on the employee who weren't honest.

The thing is, and I know I've said it before, Managers do get angry and annoyed. We are only human. But we are also grateful that you tell the truth. It's far worse when there are lies and we have to waste time getting to the bottom of it. And trust me, we also find out what has actually happened.

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

Poor girl, does she wear her collar about the house? I've seen people do makeshift bumpers for blind dogs, it goes on their collar an whenever they get close to a door or wall it bumps off it an helps the dog know there's something there so they don't walk into it, but it's going take time for everyone

Yeah, they call it a halo. But she refuses to wear it. I thought we’d be able to use all these tools etc but she is not having it. Even after all this time.

 

[cowtastrophe]

Yes to the above. My husband’s elderly relative got a robe and slippers, nice socks, pyjamas, etc when he was in a home. He never wanted any cluttery bits either and liked a nice warm robe to watch tv in in the mornings.

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

Where is the best place in the UK to get breast implants? and which ones would be the most natural looking if anyone has had theirs done. I’ve recently lost quite a bit of weight, I’ve kept my curves through glute focused workouts but I’ve lost my chest completely. Posted in the cosmetic procedures thread but it’s very quiet in there

I can’t really comment on the best but I would avoid silicone, rather go for saline implants
A friend had teardrop implants and the look very natural. If that is the look you are after.
But I would personally caution about getting implants. Do you feel you look out of proportion? Or did you just enjoy having a chest? It might just be a case of getting use to your new body

 

[cowtastrophe]

Mr C used to have a friend who was a bit (a lot) of a prick and who had a big problem with me. Essentially, he doesn’t like women who have stuff to say for themselves and don’t put up with bad behaviour. I never tried to stop Mr C seeing him but I wouldn’t socialise with him. Mr C acknowledged he was a prick at times but he doesn’t have many friends and he’d known this guy years so he was hesitant about dropping him.

They fell out a number of years ago after friend’s girlfriend claimed I’d said things I hadn’t and my husband called him out on his behaviour towards me generally. They didn’t speak for a couple of years until we got married and Mr C asked if he could invite former friend and his girlfriend in the spirit of making up with them. I was reluctant but said ok fine. They started being friendly again for a couple of years then the prick did something to Mr C which was a major betrayal - involved going behind his back and telling family and friends a lie about Mr C. Things blew up and they stopped speaking again.

We recently saw them at a mutual friend’s birthday and chatted amicably but it was clear to me that prick hadn’t really changed. He happened to be in the area yesterday and they met for a drink. Prick has invited us for a weekend at their house. I am really torn about going. I don’t honestly want to but Mr C has not had a good time recently with one thing and another and he really needs some friendly faces.

This all sounds incredibly juvenile, but I just can’t decide if I should let bygones be bygones for Mr C’s sake and go for the weekend or say no.

 

[tomato_paste]

Honestly I would leave it unless you find that it's starting to damage the sale of the house, we spent a fortune doing up the bathroom in our last house thinking it was a bit dated an it needed a new one only for the people who bought it to completely rip the whole thing out so could have just saved the money an not bothered

I think most people will rip things out regardless, so I'd say unless it's coming up that people are being put off because of the floors then leave them, most are looking to buy because of the house itself an its location, a house in our street had a bright pink an green bathroom with blue doors an it sold lol

Yeah that's kind of my thinking as well. I've fixed some super obvious stuff already (no handrail in the staircase which I've now put up, some damage to the walls which I've plastered over, etc), but I think I'll only do cosmetic stuff and make sure to decorate the rooms properly for pictures.

I do want to get a fresh coat of paint up in some areas, I just think it makes the whole thing look so much better - but that's easily done tbh, and I think doing a proper clean, and a cleanup of the garden will also go a long way towards getting the price I want for it.

Thankfully I'm quite handy, so I can fix things myself and don't have to pay someone, and I have a lot of stuff already lying around with regards to tools and paint and such.

 

[littlepup]

Thoughts about selling a house? I have the problem that I have 5 different types of flooring all the way through the house which makes for a very chaotic feel in the house. One of them is a more expensive vinyl which I just had done on the stairs. The other is hardwood, left over from the previous owner in bedroom 1, and the third is cheap laminate in bedroom 2 and 3 that I can’t buy any longer. Should I redo the floors with the vinyl to get a consistent look? Or is that money thrown out the window? I'm guessing the buyers will probably tear out the whole thing anyway but if it gives me 5k more on the sales price it might be worth it.

Leave it unless you think it’s really going to present the house in a way better light.
We bought a house with new flooring through much of it. It’s grey though, I really don’t like grey so it being new was lost on me. Other areas have clean but dated coloured carpets and one room has cheap pine looking wood laminate. We still bought the house and didn’t try to knock the price down because ultimately it’s personal choice to change it despite it being annoying to pay for something new I don’t like (kitchen and bathrooms too ). I wouldn’t have increased the offer if the flooring had been to my taste either.
If it was worn and dirty it’d be a different story.