The advice thread for random problems #4

[Snippysnips]

I blocked Roma and Diana due to their ‘pranks’ and videos where she was weighing herself and upset about being ‘fat’ but they still gets reposted by other accounts.

I guess that answers my question I was about to ask, I wanted to know how a blocked channel kept showing videos on yt, I have my nieces account up an blocked that god awful Roma an Diana but I still see their videos come up, I didn't think to check if it was other accounts as I assumed it was there's since it shows them an couldn't figure out how that shit kept coming on her page

 

[Hastaggifted]

I'd probably get them a card in which I'd say something like sorry my gift has been delayed, best wishes for now and I'll get your gift to you asap' in nicer words obv

Could that work and then not actually send a gift. Asking for a friend of course .

Said friend is going to husbands cousins wedding in June. Never met them and will never ever see them again

 

[loveanatter]

Is it rude to take the service charge off a bill even if the service has been good? I’d rather just leave a cash tip at the end of the meal if the service has been worth leaving one.

The other week we were in a restaurant we go to a lot for over 4 hours because the service was that slow. I asked to remove the service at the end which I felt was justified but then I felt dead uncomfortable asking, like they’re gonna be really offended and I don’t know if I am overthinking it.

I worked in a restaurant about 10 years ago which charged a service charge on the bill, and you got an extra £1 an hour added to your wages. Not entirely sure what happened to the rest of it, felt like such a scam as a waitress. If someone asked to remove the service back then a manager had to come and do it and they’d be asking you loads of questions about why they want it removed which was so uncomfortable.

we’re going to London for the weekend and have a few meals booked in quite nice places and I can’t decide if taking off the service is going to be a situation

I pay it if the service is good. If there’s any issues, I ask to remove it and pay cash to the waiter/waitress.
I know it’s controversial as I’ve had friends that won’t take it off but usually it’s 12-15% which is hell of a lot on top of your meal for something that wasn’t all that x

ETA - especially in one off restaurants! Different if they’re ones you go to regularly where it’s probably worth paying for future! X

 

[Rxt156]

Afraid to say, my son dropped his naps at just turned 2. The transition to no naps was a bit hellish though

I’m hoping this is the case. I think he’d suit a no nap routine so he can get longer sleeps at night. At the mo it’s a 1hr ish nap and then awake for 8-9 hrs? But in the morning he can’t handle 5 hrs without getting sleepy. Weird.
---

What time is he getting up in mornings? I'd prob just give an hour's nap if he's not going down at nights

My neice would be up around 6/7am we'd let her have a hours nap at around 11am an then she would be ready for bed at 8pm

Is lunchtime the only time he's getting a nap? When my neice wouldn't go down at night (somtimes be almost 10pm) we found out the nursery was letting her have 2 an 3 hour naps after lunch so we have put a stop to that

You could also try no naps, my neice is two an a half an we don't put her down for one anymore but just let her decided, soon as it gets to 2pm then she's not allowed, she's had days now with no naps an been fine

Thanks I have tried just a 1 hr nap today, we’ll see how that goes! He gets sleepy in the mornings but a last all afternoon once’s he woken from his nap. So weird
---

Wake from nap earlier seems to be the consensus from the people I follow. They say to see sleep in blocks of 24 hours so you need to cap the nap to give long enough before bed and allow for the remainder of their sleep need for the night stretch. What time do they wake?
Dozesleepcoaching on IG has some free highlights and seems to have a good attitude.

(My child will not sleep early but they're late to sleep, late to rise. It suits me for now but God knows what we'll do when they reach school age and it does get tiring not to have evening time to yourself)

Thank you. Definitley capped the nap at 1hr today and I’ll see how it goes tonight. Thanks.

 

[littlepup]

How do you deal with someone who constantly blames you for trivial things that you didn't do.

It's only my 2nd interaction with this woman but she has this way of blaming people for everything she finds wrong. I'd like her to know that she needs to chill while being polite and not cause drama.

Also if you think I'm petty i agree with you hahaha ‍

Be firm in not accepting blame but polite.
“I’m sorry you feel that way, however…”
“You seem to have misinterpreted what’s happened here…”
“I can understand your frustration but this isn’t something that stems from me…”
“I’d encourage you to look again at the source of these problems…”
“I’m afraid that’s not correct…”
“Can you explain to me how you arrived at that conclusion?”

 

[Snippysnips]

Tattlers I need your advice…

a few of my friends are about to have their first babies and I want to get them gifts.

a lot of the gift sets going feel very generic and samey?

what gifts did you guys *actually* enjoy/use when you had your babies?

they live a fair distance away so I’m not going to be able to pop round and help with dishes, unfortunately!

Had loaaaads of baby's in the family so I used to do home made hampers as lot of people tend to go straight for baby clothes so I done a little basket of nappies, wipes, cotten buds, muslin clothes, talc powder, little shampoo and bath wash, little soft sponge, a little comfort thing usually a little bunny holding a little blanket thing, little pair of socks, little pair of mittens, an a little hat, it was just stuff that would come in handy that maybe they didn't have a lot of, I went to Asda an Tesco for most as they would do little sets so it saved on costs

 

[Mamacita]

Thanks, it's definitely not wearing a chef hat i think it might live under my decking. I have rabbits and think it might be after their bedding. Also next door have those bird feeder things.

I've heard before that rats absolutely love decking, it's the perfect place for them to live!
---

Sorry this is a very minor query in comparison & sending lots of love & positive vibes to you all!

Can anyone recommend a decent broadband provider (I only want broadband, not TV etc). I’m aware speed/availability is reliant on my new area but I’m moving alone, have been overseas & don’t know wtf I’m doing!

There are comparison sites, just Google best broadband for my area and have a look what's good speed and price. Think we have plus net and happy with it

 

[watermelon sugar]

---



Absolutely not
Cant stand gravy on anything other than a roast dinner and that's at a push too
With chicken and leek = NO
I am a southerner though don't get all the gravy hype, horrid
Will I be banished for stating I don't much like gravy

I had it with gravy it was well nice, I’m northern so I’d probs have gravy on my cornflakes

 

[Merpedy]

I received an offer from that interview place (thankfully there wasn't a second/third interview). Should I let my current place of work know I'm open for a counter-offer or not say anything??

It's not necessarily a "bad" place to work, it's just the circumstances make the new place of work more convenient for me

 

[TwooTwooTwitTwitTwoo]

Children will always see a parent’s shitty behaviour for themselves as they grow up.
Do you have someone who’s more unbiased who could offer to be a sounding board for them? Or be in a position to offer them someone to talk to that you pay for?
Feelings of rejection from a parent can be a massive trigger for kids, it would be good if they could have an open dialogue with someone without feeling they have to ‘take sides’ (even though you’re not pressuring them to, he might).

I can't pay for anything at the moment unfortunately but the children's schools are really good with pastoral support (they are aware of the situation). I know they each have a couple of teachers they feel able to confide in.

The child I first mentioned spends quite a lot of time with my mum and I know he confides in her a bit too. She's also careful to remain as neutral about the situation as possible in front of the children.

Them feeling rejected does worry me. Out of the four of them, there's one that he noticeably makes less effort with and unfortunately my son's noticed there's a difference. I've pointed this out to his dad but it's made no difference at all.

It all just makes me feel very sad (and quite angry). I suppose I should be grateful he does at least see them and that the contact is regular (as opposed to disappearing for weeks at a time), even if it's only a couple of hours at a time or for a lift somewhere. Maybe things will improve when he finally gets around to finding a home that's more suitable for a family man than a singleton Although I'm not expecting this to happen any time soon to be honest.

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

I booked everything separately and didn’t use an agency. I can change my flights but the hotel might be a write off. I don’t think booking.com provides insurance, unfortunately.

No, I don’t have anyone who can deal with this, otherwise it would have been much easier.

Just google holiday insurance for next time saves so much hassle. Also check how you booked with booking.com as there are slightly higher prices to cancel your stay or move it

 

[Popcornshovel]

Inadvertently started a huge arguement with Mr Lolz. I feel sick about it.
To cut a long story short I called him a shit stirrer round his parents. I genuinely didn’t mean those words so don’t even know why I said them.
He was rightfully fuming and stormed off and left me round his parents.
I honestly don’t know what to do. I sent him an apology text but I know that’s not really good enough.
I’m so upset for hurting him and I know I only have myself to blame.
What would you do?

I think all you can do is apologise. And if this is a pattern of behaviour for you (rather than one off) explain how you'll address that to make sure it doesn't happen again.

Do you know his 'love language'? Like some people like being bought gifts, or having things done for them, or being told they're loved. Whatever his style is, do that (e.g buy him a gift, write a card saying how much you appreciate him) etc.

 

[stargirl23]

I think even though it’s Christmas, you can’t stop yourself or hold off how you feel. I think hed probably appreciate you telling him sooner when you have doubts rather than hide it from him and string it along until the new year if that makes sense. Just be honest, say you don’t know what you want from it but you want to discuss and be on the same page and then discuss going forward what’s best for you both

 

[TheGlossy]

Does anyone know how to report a YouTube channel without signing in?

I was scrolling down my feed this morning and came across what claims to be a ‘yoga’ channel posting full blown intimate parts photos. It seems the owner of this channel is a yoga teacher promoting ‘nude’ yoga by literally showing their private parts.

This should have no space on YouTube where kids can’t stumble upon this nonsense. I’m honestly disgusted this wasn’t filtered by YouTube.

 

[Moth]

I’m confused too!! That’s exactly right. They’ve told police I’ve nothing to fear I won’t be evicted. They’ve told me I will.

Thank you for information regarding costs!

Council is Ceredigion (mid wales) but their website just simply says my device needs updating (which I can’t afford).

If your landlord wants to evict you they must have give you proper notice using the correct 'RHW' form. If they haven't then talk of evicting you is just that and you can ignore it. If they have and the notice is valid then whatever they did or did not tell the police, they want you out. You don't have to leave when the notice period expires. The landlord will need to ask a court for an Order of Possession. You can challenge the claim for possession. If the court issues the order this is effectively telling you to leave on the specified date. If you still don't leave the landlord must ask the court for a Warrant of Possession. If that is issued, the landlord can use High Court Enforcement Officers (Bailiffs) to make you leave. As I explained if the landlord succesfully takes any court action to make you leave, you may be told by the court that you must pay the landlord's costs. You can check whether the notice you have received is valid and how to challenge it here: https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/w...privately/if-youve-got-a-section-21-notice-w/

Re. registering with the council for a council house; with respect if you have a device that lets you post on Tattle I think you can probably register with the council. The message that you need to 'update' probably refers to the device's operating system (which is free to update) not the actual device itself. If you can't register this way I understand that every public library in Ceredigion offers access to a computer.

However if Ceredigion council is anything like the councils that I deal with in England, even if you are accepted onto the waiting list, it could be some time before you are offered a council property so that probably isn't an immediate solution. Edit: just read an article from last July that says that the average wait for a one bedroom property in Ceredigion is 783 days!

The Ceredigion Council website homelessness webpage appears to offer a wide range of services and support. I expect you have already engaged with them but you haven't and if you are in imminent danger of being homeless, you should contact them now.

Homelessness - Ceredigion County Council

www.ceredigion.gov.uk

I also found this local charity that helps people threatened with homelessness: https://thewallich.com/services/ceredigion-solutions-worker/

I don't know anything about hoarding disorder but as far as I can tell, treatment is either arranged through your GP or privately. The MIND website lists a number of organisations that offer support (including completing application forms): https://www.mind.org.uk/information...oblems/hoarding/useful-contacts-for-hoarding/

 

[Mamacita]

I will be attending in two weeks and I ordered a beautiful cash gift envelope (more like a velvet box) personalized with the couple’s names.

The issue is that the envelope won’t be arriving until after the wedding and I feel uncomfortable going to the wedding empty handed.

It’s an Irish wedding (my first) and I don’t know the etiquette. Any advice?

Not sure about Irish wedding specifically but I'd probably get them a card in which I'd say something like sorry my gift has been delayed, best wishes for now and I'll get your gift to you asap' in nicer words obv

 

[conrea37]

I've got astonish mould remover, used it on a few things and worked well!

 

[becca7721]

When overwhelmed I get the same, maybe that’s what it is? Taking time for yourself should help. Good luck.

 

[Captainmouse]

HG mould remover spray is the best one I’ve used

This is the business, but It’s savage, be very careful

 

[Moth]

Thank you for this, I'll take a note of it an keep it handy, right now he's off on stress for the week then after his week it will need to be doctors lines which he was at the doctor's today an they were happy to do

We have also found out his contract states he's not to do any cooking alone which they have been leaving him to do (he was a head chef on oil rigs but he's only a kitchen asst at this home) so again taking advantage of him not saying no to them, so we are putting that down as well since he's been doing cooks work but on a kitchen assts wage

My advice would be that if his employer does start a formal disciplinary process, your Dad should confine his response to the accusations made against him. Unless he can show that they have a bearing on the accusations I don't think he should introduce other issues that he is unhappy about. I get that it's tempting to 'fight fire with fire' but I don't think it helps. I appreciate it can difficult but it's best to approach the issue as calmly as possible.

Once this is over he can raise the things that he's unhappy about separately. He should do this informally at first e.g. by speaking to his line manager etc. but if this doesn't resolve the problems he could raise a formal grievance.There is information about this on the ACAS or Citizens Advice websites.