The advice thread for random problems #4

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

So we have had a letter through the door from some random company about flood defences, it's to be filled in but am not comfortable giving the details they want, what they want to know is

Who owns the house
How much it was bought for
If it's paid off or how much the mortgage is
Jobs an salaries
How long a day we are in the house
What we pay in bills

Is this legal to ask these things? I don't know who this company is or why they want to know this, they are nothing to do with the housing estate, it's just some random company, they also haven't told us anything about what flood defenses they are doing like what they are putting up or where

It said if we didn't fill it out they could show up at our door an fine us for it or face imprisonment, is this a way to scare us into filling this out?

Check if it’s a Government questionnaire. You can get fined for not filling those in. It should have a legit number on there that reference it back.

 

[didisaythatoutloudoops]

This is such a strange story!! She seems like a right oddball!
To make sure kitty stays with you, I’d try keep in her good books and send her the updates every now and then. If she’s elderly then you might not have to do it for very long

It's absolutely insane, isn't it? The message was so hostile. I would understand somewhat if she had messaged and I had consistently ignored her.

I just got a message back - very passive aggressively saying I need to proactively send her photos and news and that my reasoning that she had not messaged herself 'changes nothing'. She then went on to say she had tried to come round - while I was at work - but nobody answered the door!!

I really have no idea what to do. I'm a private person and I certainly don't do impromptu visits from an ex-neighbour I've met 5, maybe 6 times in my life. I've sent quite a cold response saying I was likely not in as my daughter was having surgery and don't answer the door unless it's a planned visit, and that I'll send pictures but if it isn't enough for her it's on her to tell me.

 

[Shoequeen91]

Thank you @Moth, @loveanatter, @littlepup and @Rxt156. Definitely helped me a little more with my decision making 🤍

 

[peekachu]

Could your friend have perhaps bought more than one gift card, and got the receipts mixed up?

Yes I think that must be what’s happened unfortunately, they probably bought a few gift cards at the same time as it was Christmas!

The number is usually on the gift card, do you have the card with you rather than the receipt?

I have the physical gift card with the card number, pin and the receipt. It’s only when I went to use it that it didn’t work and that’s when I realised the number on the receipt was slightly different.

I’ve sent Tesco a message on Twitter to see if they can help and emailed the retailer directly too. Not sure if anything can be done but I don’t want to make my boyfriend’s sister feel bad by mentioning it!

Thank you for helping me! I always forget to use gift cards so it’s typical this happens when I finally remembered for once

 

[Pesky Tarian]

I booked everything separately and didn’t use an agency. I can change my flights but the hotel might be a write off. I don’t think booking.com provides insurance, unfortunately.

No, I don’t have anyone who can deal with this, otherwise it would have been much easier.

Some bank accounts come with travel insurance, might be worth checking with whomever you bank with. I had quite a few perks I had no idea about.

I really hope you managed to get sorted.

 

[stargirl23]

Not advice but can you all please send me positive thoughts for tomorrow morning. I had an audit at work a few weeks ago & now they want a follow up meeting and I am panicking my first audit so I'm terrified

I’m sure you’ve done better than you thought. Best of luck

 

[Lizziebox]

Thanks, I guess I never seen it that way, at mine if you need a nurse you have to go through a doctor's appointment first, am not sure why that is, but maybe they ask because of it, I suppose I just prefer not telling them anything lol, the ones at mine are kindi the gossip type, there's been times I've sat an heard about other people so I'd rather they didn't get anything from me

What a pain having to go through DR to see a nurse!! That’s really bad, I don’t blame you not telling them!! Fingers crossed you get seen soon and get better!

 

[Snippysnips]

I think rural living is hardest on the kids and as much as you gain, you lose. It depends what sort of children they are, how sociable, adaptable, how much they enjoy being outdoors etc. Winters in a static caravan (if you're considering that) are so harsh, particularly if it freezes but summers are glorious. It's all a reward/sacrifice juggle but I think it depends on the age of the children if it can be made an adventure or if they just feel isolated.

I agree, I think this is definitely important if OP is looking into moving, I mentioned before my aunt stayed away up in the country, out her 4 kids only one has remained, the other 3 left as soon as they could, although they lived their whole life living in the country, staying with us an other cousins showed them what it's like outside of that an they used to get a bit jealous at how easy it was for all of us to be able to go into town with friends or go bowling, to the cinema, go round to each others houses etc

It's really hard to grasp how country living is because even if you go on holiday you are still viewing it as a vacation especially if you are going out to the country in spring/summer which can be nice as you can get out and about, honestly the best way to get a feeling into what it's like is going in winter if you can, see how it feels, it will give you a idea on how the winters can be, the weather, if things are open, how easy or hard getting about will be, how the kids will feel if there's nothing open an will mostly be at home

 

[Rxt156]

Honestly, if I’m paying a hefty delivery fee, it’s not to inconvenience myself even more by having to commute 30 minutes away from where I live to pick up my packages. I don’t have a car, so that means I also have to add transportation costs to the fee. I’m not doing that.

It’s not my responsibility to do UPS’s job when I’m paying a full blown delivery fee.

A very annoying situation but you will have to come up with a solution if the parcels can’t come to you, you will have to get them another way whether that’s buying in a shop (not ideal, expensive, still probably out of the way) or parcel pick up shop.

30 mins to your nearest parcel pick up? Really?

 

[becca7721]

I'm so sorry to hear this. It just sounds outright unfair in every way. And as much as I'm realistic about the world, I hate when justice isn't served.

I know it's very easy to gush about your own child but she is such a hard worker. She has a chronic illness, a master's degree and is currently studying for another part time (on a full scholarship!) and hasn't taken a single day of sickness/leave off for either in months. And she's passing with flying colours!!! She'll take a lot of slack but being called lazy/not hard working/etc seems to really hit her right in the heart.

I wish she saw herself as I (and I'm sure her friends) see her

Chronic illness which I have too takes a lot out of you just to meet every day basics. Never mind all the extra. For me too being called lazy etc really hurts because your illness takes so much out of you every day. Acknowledging that, for me, actually made it harder to cope with. That’s what it was like for me anyway.

 

[Snippysnips]

I bought a jumpsuit and wore it once and the seam has ripped/come apart in the front under the bust. It happened as I was pulling it down to take it off (it has no zip). Is it cheeky to take it back to the shop for being faulty or is it my fault it ripped? It's quite noticeable.

Could have been faulty, unless you intentionally pulled roughly with it then it shouldn't have burst, I'd take it back an just explain that it ripped

 

[becca7721]

Ive just seen a rat in my garden do I need to do anything?

Where I live we have a massive rat problem - in both senses of the word. Our council decided to radically reduce our waste collections to once a month, from Monday one black bag per building, cos that’ll help loads (and they’re doing away with that section of environmental health as well, gotta save them pennies)

I reported ours to the council and all they did was have a go at people - those with bird feeders were made to get rid of them, those putting waste out before collection (literally, none of your popping your waste out before the lorry heads down the road for us, nope we gotta be up at 5:30am and sit by the window on the off chance they turn up before 6pm) and those not taking in their waste when it’s not been collected

Ours are huge, I know smaller ones can manage drain pipes and scale walls so that’s something to keep an eye out for. Ours cant. They’ve no need anymore.

You know it’s bad when they literally sit there staring you down, even during the day, as if YOU are the vermin, despite taking a broom to them and yelling. Eventually it, literally, wandered off. No doubt muttering to itself ‘who does she think she is?!?’. It was distinctly unimpressed by my attitude.

 

[Elle Woods]

A year or so ago I fell into the lumispa trap and bought one from a girl I went to school with. Ever since, she keeps WhatsApping me and messaging me via social media about upcoming “deals”. I said I had a lot on so couldn’t really afford one right now but she continues to message. I’ve just had a baby so I’m on mat leave and thought that would be the perfect excuse as income is lower. Nope, still messaged. So I said I’m saving for christmas. And now she’s messaged again saying it’s a really good deal she can even drop it off at my house for me. FFS! How do I say no?! I even thought about just buying one but honestly I don’t want to, it would just be to shut her up but that’s so wrong! What is wrong with these people.

I blocked someone I used to work with for this. Her messages were relentless. Even when I responded saying "sorry, I'm really not interested" she continued so I just blocked.

 

[WeHadFunRight]

Is she at school? If so ask them to enrol her on the ELSA programme, was very beneficial for my daughter when she had bad separation anxiety (I know not the same, but they deal with lots of child MH issues)

Thank you, I will look into this!

 

[TwooTwooTwitTwitTwoo]

I've had two from the same litter together twice and also three single cats and in all honestly the latter pair together were worse. Maybe it's because they were boys? They shredded my curtains and all sorts.

I obviously think if you could afford two (or three) you should do that because I'm a slightly mad cat woman. My realistic advice would be to chose the one you feel most drawn to though.

 

[avabella]

Personally wouldn’t use the Amazon ones. We had 3 that broke and eventually after complaining we found out the ones they send you as a replacement are actually refurbished and they also all broke within a few months too. We got an iPad mini instead and had no issues and apple customer service was much better than Amazon

I second this.

 

[stargirl23]

Thank you, he's done now an it seems them being friends with the management has it's benefits, they wouldn't really listen to him an am really angry he didn't have a witness in with him either, it was a them Vs him with no one to defend him, they didn't give him a copy of the meeting either an said they would "type it up an send it" which am also not happy at as they could then change it to suit themselves

Call acas they’re usually really beneficial in this! Minutes of meetings should be typed up there and then so they should prove the document was not edited/saved and sent to you at a later date. I’m so sorry your dads having to go through this unfairly xx

 

[Elle Woods]

Mould question. My neighbour has just moved in and, being young and very naieve has no idea about bills or anything really. They don’t understand that the bills will add at least £300 a month to their rent which went up by £150 a month before they moved in. The heater only works over night. WiFi isn’t provided etc.

So their flat has a massive black mold problem (it can be seen other side of street) - last tenant put in hospital due to it sort of problem. Before they showed people around the mouldy curtains were replaced and the place bleached within a inch of its life, furniture binned and everything painted (two weeks ago) yet already the shadow of black mould can be seen..

They’ve blocked the air vents and the landlords thick heavy duty curtains means theres no air flow, which seems to me to be a big problem (well apart from the single glazing kitchen windows, the ill fitting main window 3 inch gap between window and window ledge..) with mould but maybe I’m wrong? They’ve really taken advantage, lying about the cost of bills. He’s has signed to take responsibility of the gardens as well..

If I were your neighbour I would be taking it up with the Landlord (or if it was rented through an agent, contact them). They should be able to get someone in to look at ways of resolving the damp problem. Bleaching it won't fix it, it will only temporarily get rid of it. Obviously your neighbour needs to ventilate the place but really they should be taking it up with the Landlord.

 

[Kim Mild]

Does anyone know why when looking at car MOT status online most have a long history of all the MOTs but some only have the last MOT?

Ex police car? They don't have mot history, because we had one and it didn’t have mot history til it had the mot when we bought it.
Or the car was overseas and has been imported.
What kind of car is it?

 

[seosaimhín]

I've been in knots about it all week and was awake in the night thinking about it. It sounds silly, but I hate having to prick the balloon of someone else's enthusiasm.

I know exactly how you feel, it is nerve-racking. I think them suggesting to just "stick it on your credit card" (terrible advice) when you've raised issues with how expensive it is means they're not really thinking about you having a nice time. Their enthusiasm seems very self centred and you don't seem to be included in it.