The advice thread for random problems #3

[Thank(space)you]

There's the peanut app where you can meet other mums.
I take our toddler to pubs with beer gardens and play areas, there's a few cafes with soft play attached too which get me out of the house but aren't too boring for LO and not stuffy like regular soft play.
It really depends on budget and child's age I know but we sometimes go for dinner at places like hungry horse that don't give a crap about kids, there are a lot of kids eat free deals around too. National trust type places usually have nice cafes and big places to run around and are different to the normal mind numbing, over stimulating kids places. I've also seen some Mummy and me exercise classes advertised, you could see if there's any of those.
How old is your LO?

She's 7, I work part time whilst she's at school and honesty my work is the only place i enjoy being rn

 

[CoffeeMamma]

@becca7721 are you a private renter or a council/housing association tenant? I rent from a housing association who actually provide support for tenants with a hoarding problem, you just have to contact your local housing officer to access it. They recognise that it’s a mental illness which can be crippling and don’t place blame on anyone, just try to get them help. If you’re a private renter, perhaps see if any of the local housing associations have that support and can help you access it, or the local council.

 

[havee]

hi,

i need urgent help. ive received a eviction notice, after arrears. for next week. im so stressed and worried.

 

[Sprezza]

I have a couple of questions about my passport which seem really obvious but just to be on the safe side!
My pp says it was issued 24 Jan/Jan14 and expires 24 Jan/Jan 24- that means it expires on the 24th Jan 2024 right? I'm just confused seeing the number 4 so many times
So if it does indeed expire 24th Jan 2024 would I be okay to go abroad and return on October 18th with the 3 months before expiry rule?

 

[littlepup]

Tips for minimising dust in your home? I just moved into a new flat in the city (as opposed to the suburbs) and feel like I need to give up work to focus on dusting full time. I’ve never lived anywhere with so much dust! There’s no building work going on nearby and pollution isn’t a huge issue….I have no idea what’s causing the volume of dust.

You could try an Air purifier with a HEPA filter. I can’t recommend a particular one though as I’m yet to bite the bullet and get one.

 

[stargirl23]

Absolutely no excuse for this, I should’ve paid attention to what I was doing.
I’ve been caught speeding, 52mph in a 30 zone! They are taking me too court. What can I expect?
I have a clean licence, will I lose it?

Most likely just points for a first offence at that mph

 

[stargirl23]

They’ve been sly and changed the website as that defo wasn’t the pic or description when I ordered. Here’s a screenshot of what I was expecting from my order confirmation x

I’d report it and ask for a refund. Yes tie dye can differ from item to item but that’s a completely different thing you’ve been given. Under the consumer rights act you’re entitled to a refund or replacement of the correct item as they’ve not sold you the product as seen and would class as false advertising. If they refuse a refund go to training standards or resolver to report them because you are entitled to your money back x

 

[shadowcat5]

i asked a colleague about it this morning and she said it’s not all sex as cillian murphy “reads scripture during it” and then i was scared to ask more

I heard apparently Florence Pugh at one point is riding him like a bucking bronco and then gets up and starts reading from the Hindu book of scripture… they apparently put a CGI dress on her in India

 

[LaBlonde]

How do you carefully and discreetly separate yourself from a clingy but lonely neighbour?

Met my neighbour 3 doors down when her cat ended up coming into my house all the time. Elderly lady, in her 70s I think. Husband sadly passed years ago and no kids. Since I met her she's been inviting me round for tea, coffee, movies, all sorts. We added each other on Facebook so I could let her know if her cat was at mine and not leaving. She sends me multiple Facebook posts every day of the most random things - memes, pictures of elaborately decorated cakes, vintage cars, you name it. I barely use Facebook and told her this and she still bombards me with messages.

I've tried popping round for a quick cuppa to give her a bit of company but she talks and talks and I just can't find a way out (I even get my daughter to call me now after an hour to feign some emergency so I can escape). If I haven't seen her in a couple of weeks she'll ask me to take in a parcel or cat sit or some other mundane task that gets her round to mine or me round to hers.

I think she's simply lonely. I feel for her. But I also work full time and I'm lucky to have an active social life. Without sounding rude I just don't have the time for this and I feel so smothered by it. I don't want to hurt her but I really would just like a bit of space...

you sound like a lovely person

i can’t add much more to what @QueenBW has said, but i think especially from her post giving a dedicated day to pop round might help. you will both then clearly know to expect it and (for you) have the time ready for it. it’s a tough situation, but you can’t give up so much of your time and space.

 

[stargirl23]

like a fever dream

I’d be digging my grave if it were me

 

[Rodneytrotter]

I could do with some advice regarding my 9 year old daughter. She keeps crying because she has no friends at school. Her best friend recently ditched her so she's still hurting from that. There are other children who like my daughter and would be friends with her but she is not interested in them.

I think she has low confidence when it comes to friendships.

 

[Kim Mild]

Not sure if this is the best place to ask but something happened today that has really worried me.

My dad came home after going out to visit his sister. He had called by a cash machine to lift money, but he didn't get the cash and said that the machine ate his card. So he calls the bank to cancel it, and then discovers his bank card is in his pocket.... he was absolutely insistent that he didn't take the card from the machine. It's all very perplexing but there are no other bank cards it could have been, so he must have taken it back from the machine. I guess I'm just looking for reassurance... he's 71 years old. He's smart and sharp in every other way, but can sometimes be a bit absent-minded. I just feel very worried by it.

Can you check his bank to see if money has left his account? Find out if he has actually withdrawn cash? The cashpoint acting up is a possibility, as is him making an error while using it.
You could keep a diary of any behaviour he displays that concerns you.

 

[JoeBloggs]

Would you buy a house without a bath?

We have a small bathroom with a shower over the bath. We are a family that 99% of the time shower, my 7 year will occasionally have a big bubble bath, maybe 3 x a year.
We will be redoing it in the next year or so. I'm thinking of getting rid of the bath and making it into a wet room with big walk in shower. We do however have 2 ensuites that are showers. But we want to keep our ensuite kid free and the 2nd ensuite is in our 15 year olds room so he doesn't particularly want younger siblings coming in and out.
We have no plans to sell but would it affect resale value if we got rid of bath completely or should we just do what we want without thinking about possible selling points in the future.

Personally in a 3 bathroom house no bath would be an issue for me. I also think you exclude young families or people thinking of families as they would need a bath for little ones.
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Baffled by that idea. I'm in my 40s with a 2.5 year old. My, as yet, childless friends in their 30s are just buying a 4 bed for £475k with no generational wealth, just good jobs.

Guess it depends on area. You are unlikely to get a 4 bed one bath for less than £550-600+k near me!
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Baffled by that idea. I'm in my 40s with a 2.5 year old. My, as yet, childless friends in their 30s are just buying a 4 bed for £475k with no generational wealth, just good jobs.

Guess it depends on area. You are unlikely to get a 4 bed one bath for less than £550-600+k near me!

 

[Hellojanuary]

Anyone done much camping? Considering it for a number of reasons but wanted some general advice about what to expect/buy/not do?

thanksssss

Fun! Start small with an overnight trip. Something to sleep in and on, something to eat and a way of preparing it. Build your list each time of things you need to remember to take

 

[trudyjudy007]

I have a question about birthday presents and relatives… when do I stop being expected to buy birthday presents for nieces and nephews? My niece is 20 coming up and we don’t see her, we’re not close. Am thinking token present this year and next yr for her 21st then cards from then on?

I’m in my 20s and don’t expect anything, I’d say I got some token cash for my 18th and 21st but that’s more than enough!

 

[Pesky Tarian]

I'm not sure where to post this but I'm trying to find a luxury hotel/stay as a birthday gift. Ideally one-two nights with a dinner and spa package/access. Anyone stayed at an amazing hotel?. Ideally around the Cotswolds area but anywhere from Manchester to down south would be ideal.

Love a spa break !!.

The two that stick in my mind are mid range Thoresby Hall. If you really wanted to push the boat out Limewood.

 

[WeHadFunRight]

Me! And yes you do get the back catalogue provided that’s included in the membership

Thank you!

 

[stardust1]

So confused. Letter says attend jury service tomorrow morning but I called the phone number they gave me for an updated message (was recorded Friday) says wait for a call from them on Monday morning too see if I need to attend Tuesday. Do they always make it this confusing for something so important? Do I stay home or go??

from the information you gave i’d stay home and await a call like they said. I hate stuff like that, i’d be up all night worrying about it

 

[Barbie2020]

Can anyone help me regarding a hen party? Do you have to get everyone a gift bag?

I’m maid of honour and it’s a night away with hotel, travel and activities. I’ve also paid for the bride. I’ve paid for card games, accessories for bride to wear etc and everything is adding up quickly! If I have to get gift bags it’s going to be a lot of money as there will be 16 people. It’s really making me worry as we don’t have loads of spare money.

We’re also paying to travel, hotel stop for the actual wedding plus of course wedding gift and everything else involved.

Please someone tell me I’m not a tight arse for not wanting to do gift bags? Or if I am being tight can someone please give me suggestions of what I could give people?

 

[Meg78]

Not really sure what to do, took an expensive coat to Johnson’s, received a text that it’s ready to collect and when they got it out there was a note on the hanger to apologise as they’ve damaged it. I was expecting maybe a bit of bobbling but no they’ve completely destroyed the entire front! It’s not sold by the brand any longer and I’m pretty gutted, I really loved it. They told me that the manager is away, they took the coat back and said to come back next week to discuss, in the meantime I need to try and locate the receipt (there’s no way I still have it although it might be on a bank statement)

What do I do? I’m worried about leaving it there for a week and it gets lost altogether. I’m worried they won’t reimburse the full amount. I’m worried about it all and don’t know what to ask or say or do in the meantime! Has anyone else been through this? Do I contact head office or wait?