The advice thread for random problems #3

[maybeso]

Sounds like same situation. I am in Hull. Your right, most things are apparently Haram, I foresee him being very lonely. Its upsetting but he doesn't see it like I do. Thanks

 

[didisaythatoutloudoops]

Maybe a white noise machine (or on your phone) set while you’re sleeping to drown them out but so you can still hear say, a fire alarm?
Have they got carpets?

I think it is hardwood floors, but they've got rugs from the few times I've been up there. I'm not sure a white noise machine would cover up how loud it is - the other problem is there can be silence for hours, and then all of a sudden SLAM SLAM SLAM. I'll give it a go on my phone and see if I sleep better tonight - they're really at it right now!

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

We have the Breville Barista which is very similar to the Sage machines but the reason I chose breville over sage was that I read a lot of reviews saying the Sage was fiddly at times or difficult to clean; my boss has a sage and sad ts very fiddly.

the DeLonghi looks great and also has great reviews too but this is assuming you want a bean to cup coffee machine rather than a pod machine. In terms of shops or coffee specialists I don’t know but I can tell you it is a lot of fun trying lots of different beans! You can buy subscriptions which is great and I bought my friend one a little while back which she loved.

Thank you, yes definitely looking for a bean to cup or at least ground beans to cup machine.

 

[Tanne1999]

Four years ago, I slept with one of my bosses after a drunken night out. He told me he was divorced and had full custody of his son, doesn’t have anything to do with his ex wife, and is single. He’d only been there a few weeks so didn’t really know much about him or spoke to him much.

The morning after, we slept together again and then I went for a shower. As I came out he was on the phone and said ‘gotta go, love ya’ - so I said ‘aw was that your boy?’ and he went ‘no my girlfrie… fuck.’

Turns out they’d been together for five years at that point, engaged for four, her and her three kids live there, and her grandkids call him granddad.


I had to keep talking to him for work purposes, but he got made redundant as the pandemic eased up. In the meantime I’d met my boyfriend. He sent me a dirty message so I told him to fuck off and if he ever contacted me again then I’d tell his partner, then blocked him.


For some reason she’s come up on my suggested friends on Facebook recently and I had a snoop. They’re planning their wedding and she’s posting about how he’s the best partner ever and how he’s so different from her cheating abusive ex husband.

I now feel like such a bitch for not telling her as soon as I found out. I was 19 and stupid, and couldn’t be bothered with the backlash. He was 51 and my dad also worked with us, so it would have caused an almighty rift between us all.
Now I’m sat here thinking is it too late to say something? Should I message her? Do I just ignore it and let them crack on? I feel so conflicted.

 

[LaBlonde]

Appreciate we’re months away but I’m going to be asked about this soon… Christmas- a family member has been nasty about my little one (nearly 5 months old). She hates kids and sadly this has translated to my little one and she’s let me know her feelings. She will be there at Christmas unless she’s uninvited (it won’t happen which is fine as I’m not the one hosting Christmas, it’ll be my parents). I’ve cut her out, not spoken since it happened a month ago, what she’s done is unforgivable imo and I don’t want her around my baby.

I don’t want to put my parents in the middle but I also don’t want my child around her. It’ll be her first Christmas so I want it to be special, and my parents will want to be with her. I’m not one for dramatics so don’t want to give my parents an ultimatum, but I also don’t want to be around her. I’m in two minds whether to just go as it’s just one day, or whether I say I don’t want her around the baba and we celebrate Christmas on Boxing Day or something. Sadly my mum will be upset regardless but it’s not something I’m backing down on and all the emotional blackmail in the world won’t make me feel any different, saying something about me is one thing but I can’t forgive saying something about my innocent baby.

So ultimately I’m not sure what to do, I don’t think there’s a right answer as someone will get upset regardless.

i’m so sorry - this is horrible and especially on your baby’s first christmas

ultimately, to say something nasty about a family member’s baby is unforgivable imo. i’m not great with kids myself but i would never even dream of crossing the line like that, let alone make someone so uncomfortable that they don’t want their child around me.

it’s tough but i think you have to look out for yourself and baby here and do what is right for you both. christmas, especially her first one, is meant to be lovely and fun: i can only second what others have said about you splitting the day to avoid the other person and so hopefully still keeping it a nice experience for you and your baby.

 

[JoeBloggs]

Has anyone heard of Gear4Music . Com? Looking at getting a instrument an they are a lot cheaper than what other places are, not sure if they are cheaper because of a reason like bad quality or if it's just one of these sites that typically do cheaper than stores

My husband has bought from them before, no issues.

 

[WeHadFunRight]

Thank you for the advice

I honestly don't think any of his class mates appeared to have the wrong coat on when they came out and most of us mum's have known each other since pre school days we would just sort out a mix up on the spot kinda thing .

My son said this morning that the big boys steal coats on the way back from the toilets and hide or kick them around the hall so that's why Im leaning towards it being 'stolen' kinda thing.

Ugh, that’s awful! My little girl’s coats and bags are kept in the classroom, but she had her lovely rain coat thrown on the floor and stamped on by the horrible kids (there’s a little gang of 4 boys that act like thugs) in her class. If that’s happening I would raise it with the head teacher and say it’s unacceptable and tell them they need to address that behaviour with the older boys.

some children aren’t great with making sure they have their stuff with them and that’s one thing, but if there’s a trend for children to proactively ruin other’s possessions that’s quite another and has to be dealt with.

 

[Mamacita]

I don’t think she’s necessarily wrong. Cats are very low maintenance compared to caged pets. If she’s looking after her hamster properly then I don’t think the leap to a cat will be too much more.
Food will probably be more expensive and that’s about it

No they're not very low maintenance, unless you don't care for them well. Cat litter is expensive and so is decent cat food. Vet fees can be crazy so it's recommended to get insurance and the cost of that is going up like everything else.

 

[becca7721]

I also could do with a magic wand if anyone has one going spare

 

[becca7721]

Hopefully you’ll feel much better in a couple of days!

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

We’ve just had a new extension built and remodelled our kitchen etc to be open plan. The designer decided that removing the door between the living room and the hallway would be good, as the door wouldn’t protrude into the living room. Unfortunately, the building regs inspector has insisted that a fire door is needed and thus the door has to be reinstated. The builders are suggesting that a door is put in place to get the work signed off, but then removed and the walls made good. Leaving aside the safety aspect, I’m concerned that removing the door would invalidate our insurance if we were unlucky enough to have a fire, given that we know it’s a building regs requirement, even if the fire didn’t get anywhere near the door. Has anyone doing a refurb had a similar experience and if so, what did you decide?

I find this very strange. I know of several people who have all open plan downstairs and they had zero issues with needing a fire door.

 

[Tanne1999]

What I ordered vs what arrived.

To add insult to injury, these were on print to order, I ordered on Sept 10th, it arrived Oct 11th after being told 10 working days. £55.99 with delivery I paid and it looks nothing like what I ordered!

My friend thinks I’m being dramatic and it’s not that bad, but I’m so upset and it’s been posted about a fair bit within the festival community, so I’m not the only one!

Do I have grounds for a refund/compensation here? I’m not going to be able to get the design shown it seems. I feel massively missold

 

[yankydoo]

hi,

i need urgent help. ive received a eviction notice, after arrears. for next week. im so stressed and worried.

Are you in England? Do you have a council tenancy or private? Go down to your local council and/ or CAB. You can get help and advice

 

[Mamacita]

Is it the only item you ordered? All stores are required to reimburse postage if the whole order is returned, Zara do it as a standard but most retailers need reminding
---
Also, The Hut Group own Look Fantastic, so might be worth firing a complaint off to them too

Is that in Ireland? Because in the UK a lot of shops definitely don't have free returns anymore

 

[tomato_paste]

Thank you - I think this is at least where we are lucky that our bathroom is on the ground floor. I think the damp has done some damage to the tiles side of the wall because the grout is a bit grubby looking and I couldn’t get it clean even when I blasted it with the steamer and bleach… to be totally honest it’s a bloody old bathroom that is falling apart, bits of iron have been falling off the tub for the last year, and I can’t wait to update it but the timing is just terrible! I guess if they do have to retile we could only get that wall done (it would be temporary in the grand scheme of things.)?

Yeah they can redo just the one wall, but it needs to dry out before they can do that so your bathroom might be out of comission for a few weeks.

If there is moisture behind the tub /shower inset (if you have one) or underneath the floor it might be worth moving the reno forward if you can swing it at all.

Or possibly they can open up the cupboard wall and leave it exposed so it has a chance to dry out, that could be feasible too.

It all depends on how saturated the wall is and if it has seeped into the underfloor of the bathroom as well. Is the floor tiled? If you leave that moisture there (as it will not be able to evaporate underneath the tiles) it will eventually damage the joists and you will have to renew them which is not a fun nor cheap task at all.

 

[Rocket Queen]

Anyone had tonsillitis? Any tips to get it to stop hurting as painkillers aren't touching it at all and I've had 3 hours sleep the past two nights in broken chunks, I'm literally dying and also crying which only hurts me more haha.

I've been given antibiotics by the doctor hoping they will help but I've only just taken my first dose.

I had it before when I was about 18 but don't remember it being this bad then...

Bless you - it’s horrible isn’t it. I had it last year and I lived off ice pops as it numbed the pain for a while. Hope you feel better soon x

 

[TheGlossy]

Return them and I hope you paid with paypal or something similar.
I returned a pair of trainers because they were damaged and they didn’t even bother to acknowledge anything apart from that they received them back. I had to open a paypal dispute, which again they didn’t acknowledge and then paypal returned my money.
I will never buy from them again

Thank you. I’ll return them. I did a few returns in the past and they were rather good. Let’s hope they continue on this trajectory. I didn’t pay with PayPal but my bank is good with dispute resolution if need be.

 

[Mojojojo67]

I have a Nespresso machine but I always feel the coffee comes out lukewarm? What am I doing wrong?

 

[rainbowlemon]

Not so much a problem but like a king for advice S IV recently lost weight and need some new clothes.im taking the opportunity to buy quality items that will last for once!

Jumpers - any recommendations for soft jumpers? Possibly cashmere or merino wool?

Trousers - comfy stylish trousers that are not jeans?

Coat - something warm and waterproof that won't make me look frumpy

PJ's - a top and trouser bottom set that is really soft and comfy

Robe - ideally a towelling one that feels like one you get at the spa?

Trainers - what trainers is everyone wearing these days? Ideally would want something that goes with most jeans/leggings etc

Jumpers: Uniqlo or M&S.

My coat is by ONLY. It was around £35 on Amazon. I've had it for more than 5 years and it's still good with daily wear in Autum/winter.

 

[AshMay]

Allergic to the office

Jokes aside I wish I could be more help but omg I've weirdly been having something similar myself and it's only started in the last couple of weeks. I feel cold-like symptoms coming on in the office and have a headache/sneezing/stuffiness and then I'm fine the next day. I don't have hay fever and we don't have AC at work. Not sure what's bringing it on now!