I'm Switzerland in this haha.
Im having a seriously dumb day
Im having a seriously dumb day
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AW poop! I've just written out a bunch of replies to people and accidentally deleted the lot when I was trying to add a quote! 
What. A. Tit 
Going to take dog face out for a quick pee and then I'll try and remember what I was saying
What. A. Tit Going to take dog face out for a quick pee and then I'll try and remember what I was saying
I just wanted to say before I head off that I'm reading a brilliant book at the moment. It's got me fully gripped. It's called Why Don't Students Like School and is about education techniques, but it's actually about thinking and why we (as humans) are so bad at it. It's very readable. Our brains actually don't like to think and will avoid it wherever possible. I'm looking forward to getting to the 'what to do instead' part!
Ok well before I go so I don't miss you @Caitlyn130 I hope you feel better soon, I will really miss you and your opinions here while you are away. I don't really do twitter but hopefully the sisTurds can update me on how you all are getting on 
Much love to you, hope we see you soon! Good luck with the move!
Much love to you, hope we see you soon! Good luck with the move!
I'll be sticking with this thread, for sure! XxOk well before I go so I don't miss you @Caitlyn130 I hope you feel better soon, I will really miss you and your opinions here while you are away. I don't really do twitter but hopefully the sisTurds can update me on how you all are getting on
Much love to you, hope we see you soon! Good luck with the move!
Aw brilliant!
I thought you were logging off completely, I'm really glad you're sticking about to swab the poop deck with us 
I want you (not in the biblical sense) but I really enjoy your posts.Yes that's exactly how I feel.
I'm doing an online copywriting course at the moment which I'm surprisingly enjoying, and we've decided that we're going to do a re-watch of The Office. We've been watching the West Wing which is great but it's starting to get a little same-y and while it's very funny in parts, it's not really good comedy like Steve Carell and Co. So hopefully that will brighten my mood. I don't think this time of year helps. I'm ok with the cold but it's the constant darkness that gets me down.
We're going to do takeaway tonight as well, one last time - we've been relying on them way too much and have vowed to start cooking more (ha!)
If itβs any comfort, I still think something is off still and Iβve not come round to masses viewpoint.
I actually miss AE not being around and I think like a few people Iβm twiddling my thumbs and overthinking the other players.
I envy that you guys can share stuff. I canβt because of what I do for a living and I need my living.
Take care and donβt run with the crowd. X
ETA and PS if itβs me thatβs pissing you off please say
Not you in the slightest! I have to say I'm glad that others have expressed similar concerns to mine this evening. I feel less paranoid and oversensitive now! Haha. Hopefully Alice comes back soon.I want you (not in the biblical sense) but I really enjoy your posts.
If itβs any comfort, I still think something is off still and Iβve not come round to masses viewpoint.
I actually miss AE not being around and I think like a few people Iβm twiddling my thumbs and overthinking the other players.
I envy that you guys can share stuff. I canβt because of what I do for a living and I need my living.
Take care and donβt run with the crowd. X
ETA and PS if itβs me thatβs pissing you off please say
All goes to tit when AE goes AWOL.
Ok I'm back and I'm going to ramble on again, I apologise
@Penguin86 Happy
Day!!
I really think you should be incredibly proud of yourself for not only surviving all of what you've been through but for managing to make such a success of yourself! I think you are amazing and I want to be like you when I grow up tbh and I'm a few years older than you
I agree with @welp and I think you should keep giving your take on things and try not to worry about it even though it's not so easy to do in practice but I'd hate for you to feel like you had to censor yourself or that you can't engage because of the way people are being on the MT . You always come across as fair and level headed when it comes to the more serious side of things, you've not come across as aggressive towards other posters when you have disagreed with people. We could do with more people like you in discussions like these I think
Sometimes I wonder how people put up with me because I can be hard work and pretty annoying - It's a bit of a double kick in the teeth from the universe to be able to unintentionally annoy people and not be able to stop it but be self aware enough to know it 
and then I give myself a kick because it's never a happy line of thought and I don't want to keep following it, it's unhelpful -Silencio Bruno!
I think it's the oven I have and getting timings gets me a bit
I find the cooking and clean up afterwards such a massive chore too! If you tel me you are the proud owner of a dishwasher I'll just abandon my belongings and head over now I'd really love a dishwasher! It would make my life so much easier!
And for sure I'll make you all the cinnamon buns you could ever want!
I'm more a savoury person too 
Bless you I'm not surprised, my best friend does a lot of crafty bits and the collection she's built over the years of tools and supplies is probably worth a Kings ransom That's really lovely though, I don't think age matters so much after you become an adult I've enjoyed the company of folk ranging in age from 19-80's and frankly some of the older lot could give the 19yos a run for their money on a night out The oldest lady on my hen night was pushing 80, not related or anything she's just a really awesome woman! She and the rest of us had a blast
Power snoozes are the best! I just don't keep a normal schedule
I agree with everything you said @Katie8ee
Michael Scott in season 1 actually made me turn it off he pissed me off so much I gave it another go and pushed through and ended up really liking it! I've re-watched it a few times and I still struggle with season 1 too though I didn't watch the UK version *ducks in fear*
I'm glad you are ok If you need to talk about it and let a bit of sad/angry out or feel like you want to share some happy memories please know you can
Hey I am so down with being adopted by you my lovely! Watch me not struggle at all, not even a little bit 
That video is absolutely hilarious! I kept bursting out laughing and having to click back a bit coz I'd missed the next bit! So many brilliantly quotable bits I cannot choose! She looks like she'd be properly good craic! Love that the dog got a dramatic Baywatchian running cameo
@Penguin86 Happy
Day!! I'm really sorry you had such a difficult and dark time, what your "friend" did to you is really mean and I'm so glad you had an Aunt who was able to help. I also wish I could give young you a gentle hug because I imagine it must have been really hard growing up feeling dismissed or like an annoyance to your familyI really didn't want to offend Tootler for their post it just seems like diagnosing others/self diagnosing with ADHD is the trendy thing to do lately. The reality is it can be so debilitating and take a major toll on your self esteem. I still have a lot of self doubt especially when conversing. I've been thinking lately I want to get some speech coaching so that I can be a more confident speaker, get to the point more easily, and not feel so self conscious when I'm talking. There are so many different elements to it, it can be hard to unpick them all.
I have some horrible, horrible memories of the couple of years before I was diagnosed when things got really bad. I ended up homeless at one point, sleeping on a friend's couch because I couldn't hold down a job to pay my rent. I found a new job and held it together for a bit. The friend then abruptly turned on me after the guy she liked said he liked me, and she kicked me out and threatened to dump all my stuff on the pavement outside if I didn't collect it in 24 hours. Luckily my aunt came to the rescue and I stayed in my cousin's old room for a while until I saved up enough to move into a houseshare. Just after that, I was fired. Luckily I found a job I liked, enough to stick around, and things got better from there but it wasn't without its challenges. Come to think of it, the fact that I pulled it together, undiagnosed, after sinking to rock bottom, makes me feel pretty proud. But what a dark time.
I mostly kept my struggles from other people, especially when I got the negative reactions from those closest to me of 'there's nothing I can do/say, you just have to get on with it' and sensing the clear irritation they had over my situation. And the questions of 'how have you managed to not do x / get yourself into this mess?' reinforcing that my mental health was my fault. But aside from the stress other people felt when I reached out to them, I somehow managed to not hurt other people.
Then you have Alice.
I really think you should be incredibly proud of yourself for not only surviving all of what you've been through but for managing to make such a success of yourself! I think you are amazing and I want to be like you when I grow up tbh and I'm a few years older than you
I agree with @welp and I think you should keep giving your take on things and try not to worry about it
even though it's not so easy to do in practice but I'd hate for you to feel like you had to censor yourself or that you can't engage because of the way people are being on the MT . You always come across as fair and level headed when it comes to the more serious side of things, you've not come across as aggressive towards other posters when you have disagreed with people. We could do with more people like you in discussions like these I think Thanks, I get on my own tits so much!Thanks dear Sisturd!I was very glad too & she was very kind.
One dear family friend was telling me 20+ years ago that things MUST/WILL get better. View attachment 1001850 View attachment 1001852 Don't get me wrong, it's not all been tit, had/have some good moments, but compared to the tit they're fleeting. Why is it the crappy bits always last waaaaay longer?!
It's literally been one thing after another for too many years, but hey ho, these things are sent to try us!
ETA: I have tried positive thinking, (consciously try to change my negative thoughts to positive as they occur) also positive affirmations & visualisation, etc can't say any has helped, lol! View attachment 1001921 View attachment 1001924
Love your beast of a pencil case!I'm like that too, little things can bug me to the point I get on my own tits at times!
No, I don't bake! Cooking doesn't stress me, it's more that I find it boring & a chore.Now eating on the other hand?!
Ooh your cinnamon buns sound lovely!I'm like you, don't have a sweet tooth, (other than in hot drinks) much prefer savoury, though the odd bar of chocolate or sweet stuff hits the spot at times! I do love salted caramel though, the combo of sweet & salty is just so delicious & probably why I love cheese & onion crisps eaten with a bar of chocolate!
That's sweet of you to say!Yeah, it was a fortune & she was thrilled! I was happy to give it all to someone who appreciated all the bits & would enjoy using them & she's a sweetheart, I'm very fond of her!
but we hit it off from the get go!
Awww, thank you for your very kind words.
Sometimes I wonder how people put up with me because I can be hard work and pretty annoying - It's a bit of a double kick in the teeth from the universe to be able to unintentionally annoy people and not be able to stop it but be self aware enough to know it and then I give myself a kick because it's never a happy line of thought and I don't want to keep following it, it's unhelpful -Silencio Bruno! I think it's the oven I have and getting timings gets me a bit
I find the cooking and clean up afterwards such a massive chore too! If you tel me you are the proud owner of a dishwasher I'll just abandon my belongings and head over now I'd really love a dishwasher! It would make my life so much easier!And for sure I'll make you all the cinnamon buns you could ever want!
I'm more a savoury person too Bless you I'm not surprised, my best friend does a lot of crafty bits and the collection she's built over the years of tools and supplies is probably worth a Kings ransom
That's really lovely though, I don't think age matters so much after you become an adult I've enjoyed the company of folk ranging in age from 19-80's and frankly some of the older lot could give the 19yos a run for their money on a night out The oldest lady on my hen night was pushing 80, not related or anything she's just a really awesome woman! She and the rest of us had a blast Power snoozes are the best!
I just don't keep a normal schedule I agree with everything you said @Katie8ee
Michael Scott in season 1 actually made me turn it off he pissed me off so much
I gave it another go and pushed through and ended up really liking it! I've re-watched it a few times and I still struggle with season 1 too though I didn't watch the UK version *ducks in fear* BIB*hurtles through wall dressed as uma thurman in kill bill, ready to whoop @Penguin86 's ass. Realises I look too much like a banana thus attracting& swiftly changes into velveteen smoking jacket & comfy slippers*
Thanks for good wishes sisturds am sad but at peace & hope he is too. (Thanks @TicTacToc just feel sad for family now
)
Thank you for everything @Just William
@GoLibrarianPoo I'm not even asking am just adopting you as family
Well said
ETA I feel strong hunch not even worth looking a MT tonight.....
I'm glad you are ok
If you need to talk about it and let a bit of sad/angry out or feel like you want to share some happy memories please know you can Hey I am so down with being adopted by you my lovely!
Watch me not struggle at all, not even a little bit That video is absolutely hilarious! I kept bursting out laughing and having to click back a bit coz I'd missed the next bit! So many brilliantly quotable bits I cannot choose! She looks like she'd be properly good craic!
Love that the dog got a dramatic Baywatchian running cameo 
I'm catching up on the MT I haven't got to the point that an argument happened (I had started reading backwards and saw a mod warning so jumped to the beginning!. Just had dinner here after a lot of work but 15 bathrooms and 50 made beds later I feel accomplished!
@GoLibrarianPoo I just saw on the MT you are Scottish!!!! I did not know this until today! There are so many of us here.
Hope everyone is fab, best crack on with my catching up xx
(I had started reading backwards and saw a mod warning so jumped to the beginning!. Just had dinner here after a lot of work but 15 bathrooms and 50 made beds later I feel accomplished! @GoLibrarianPoo I just saw on the MT you are Scottish!!!! I did not know this until today! There are so many of us here.
Hope everyone is fab, best crack on with my catching up xx
@Katie8ee
@GoLibrarianPoo
Are either of you fans of the Scottish band Frightened Rabbit? They are my favourite band EVER. Their music has helped me through so many periods of depression and anxiety.
@GoLibrarianPoo
Are either of you fans of the Scottish band Frightened Rabbit? They are my favourite band EVER. Their music has helped me through so many periods of depression and anxiety.
So sad that Scott ended up taking his own life after his lyrics had helped so many of their fans keep pushing forward when we felt like giving up. 
I've never heard of them before @Bastion I'm terrible with music as I am with books, tv and film stuff I listen, read and watch the same stuff over and over. It's quite rare I listen to new music
Oh that's sad
Oh that's sad
I feel that way about Chester Bennington from Linkin Park.
His death is the only "celeb" death to upset me because of how his lyrics touched me and that you could see how anguished he was at times
I have loved them for as long as I can remember, I remember when Scott went missing so very sad. Their Instagram is lovely and I adore how they keep him alive in all they do.@Katie8ee
@GoLibrarianPoo
Are either of you fans of the Scottish band Frightened Rabbit? They are my favourite band EVER. Their music has helped me through so many periods of depression and anxiety.
So sad that Scott ended up taking his own life after his lyrics had helped so many of their fans keep pushing forward when we felt like giving up.
@Penguin86
I'm so sorry you had a similar experience It's really awful to reach out looking for some help and be turned away. All because you don't fit the person seeing you on the day's perception of what depression or MH struggles look like
I actually really struggled to go and seek help, I always have.
I've picked up the message from my Dad mainly that you don't ask for help and you pick yourself up and bloody well get on with it basically.
Anyway that incident happened a very very long time ago now, but afterwards I just felt completely slapped down, and like I was a fraud - I seriously spent a long time going round in awful circles thinking am I making it up? Am I making it out to be worse than it is? Why can't I just deal with things like a normal person
It just was a really horrible experience and it put me off seeking further help for a long time afterwards
I'd like to think things have moved on a bit since then because there has been a lot more public awareness of MH struggles in the time between, but I couldn't say with confidence that it's really a huge amount better
I still struggle with self validation about my depression and there's a part of me that occasionally still rages at myself for being the way I am.
My constant internal critic will break free of the soundproof prison I keep it in and say "So many people have dealt with so much more than you in their lives. Their lives have been infinitely harder, infinitely more damaging, infinitely more painful. They are fully functioning people and here you are, barely functioning, just about managing to exist with the equivalent of a few emotional scratches in comparison to those that have endured true hardship. Who are you to sit and cry about how sad you are, how hard life is for you" etc, etc, etc
My internal critic is a really nasty fucker. I don't think I've ever had anyone say anything quite so hurtful as my own brain has thrown at me in my darkest moments
It's such an upsetting and awful cycle because obviously after that going round in your head you aren't going to feel better are you?
I think that's one of the things I found really useful about private therapy, my therapist told me I had to stop comparing my journey and reactions to other peoples.
My pain is valid, my MH struggles are real and it's not my fault.
I didn't ask for wonky MH, I didn't invite it in and I didn't do anything to deserve it and I am not making it up.
It just is, like the fact that my ears stick out a bit or that I've got big front teeth and a pretty sizable conk
ETA: Obviously I have agency and can try and do things to combat it, I'm not throwing in the towel or anything by saying that ^ I am obviously still a massive work in progress though
It's really awful to reach out looking for some help and be turned away. All because you don't fit the person seeing you on the day's perception of what depression or MH struggles look like I actually really struggled to go and seek help, I always have.
I've picked up the message from my Dad mainly that you don't ask for help and you pick yourself up and bloody well get on with it basically.
Anyway that incident happened a very very long time ago now, but afterwards I just felt completely slapped down, and like I was a fraud - I seriously spent a long time going round in awful circles thinking am I making it up? Am I making it out to be worse than it is? Why can't I just deal with things like a normal person
It just was a really horrible experience and it put me off seeking further help for a long time afterwards
I'd like to think things have moved on a bit since then because there has been a lot more public awareness of MH struggles in the time between, but I couldn't say with confidence that it's really a huge amount better
I still struggle with self validation about my depression and there's a part of me that occasionally still rages at myself for being the way I am.
My constant internal critic will break free of the soundproof prison I keep it in and say "So many people have dealt with so much more than you in their lives. Their lives have been infinitely harder, infinitely more damaging, infinitely more painful. They are fully functioning people and here you are, barely functioning, just about managing to exist with the equivalent of a few emotional scratches in comparison to those that have endured true hardship. Who are you to sit and cry about how sad you are, how hard life is for you" etc, etc, etc
My internal critic is a really nasty fucker. I don't think I've ever had anyone say anything quite so hurtful as my own brain has thrown at me in my darkest moments
It's such an upsetting and awful cycle because obviously after that going round in your head you aren't going to feel better are you?
I think that's one of the things I found really useful about private therapy, my therapist told me I had to stop comparing my journey and reactions to other peoples.
My pain is valid, my MH struggles are real and it's not my fault.
I didn't ask for wonky MH, I didn't invite it in and I didn't do anything to deserve it and I am not making it up.
It just is, like the fact that my ears stick out a bit or that I've got big front teeth and a pretty sizable conk
ETA: Obviously I have agency and can try and do things to combat it, I'm not throwing in the towel or anything by saying that ^ I am obviously still a massive work in progress though
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I will reply properly tomorroeΔ«. Keep dropping my phone heh.
Love xx
Love xx
In a very dumbed down way I learnt a lot about this from the rehab team after mum's stroke, about how her brain is going to take easiest way out, how it's going to trick her into thinking she can't do stuff. Random quote;
He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still - Lao Tzu also said it before & I'll say it again, your tenacity & balls & how you've coped & survived are truly awesome, thank you for sharing & just being you
@House of Tea - I do like your ethos & your posts. Fwiw I remember how incredibly belligerent (think that's right word) that particular poster you're referring to was about an entirely different issue from the beginning of their posting so I don't think you should take it personally, just keep being you
@GoLibrarianPoo - all I can say is I echo a lot of what you've said. I'm totally unashamed at now starting therapy at late stage to better what I've tried to do myself because in this crazy world its just not enough anymore it seems. So appreciate the old standard dust yourself down & get on with it, that's fine until it isn't, you've helped me feel braver about just being me. Thank you sincerely
π«All of you lot really, your views, thoughts & experiences, I do really value, thank you
I said I reacted to "bw videogate" viscerally that's still true. But little voice in back of my head is wondering about the links with selling products etc. Which is why I attempt to scroll through recent dross for the info from welp Don't have enough solid info yet to totally form a personal opinion but I guess time will indeed tell
for me it's still about best thing for the kids. I'm intrigued by diff between narc dads/mums (some have sadly had both
) sorry to post here just not v comfortable over there atm
although will keep trying unless it gets very much more awful
Don't have enough solid info yet to totally form a personal opinion but I guess time will indeed tellfor me it's still about best thing for the kids. I'm intrigued by diff between narc dads/mums (some have sadly had both) sorry to post here just not v comfortable over there atmalthough will keep trying unless it gets very much more awfulI read on the MT both your experience and wanted to reply but fell asleep@Penguin86
I'm so sorry you had a similar experience
I actually really struggled to go and seek help, I always have.
I've picked up the message from my Dad mainly that you don't ask for help and you pick yourself up and bloody well get on with it basically.
Anyway that incident happened a very very long time ago now, but afterwards I just felt completely slapped down, and like I was a fraud - I seriously spent a long time going round in awful circles thinking am I making it up? Am I making it out to be worse than it is? Why can't I just deal with things like a normal person
It just was a really horrible experience and it put me off seeking further help for a long time afterwards
I'd like to think things have moved on a bit since then because there has been a lot more public awareness of MH struggles in the time between, but I couldn't say with confidence that it's really a huge amount better
I still struggle with self validation about my depression and there's a part of me that occasionally still rages at myself for being the way I am.
My constant internal critic will break free of the soundproof prison I keep it in and say "So many people have dealt with so much more than you in their lives. Their lives have been infinitely harder, infinitely more damaging, infinitely more painful. They are fully functioning people and here you are, barely functioning, just about managing to exist with the equivalent of a few emotional scratches in comparison to those that have endured true hardship. Who are you to sit and cry about how sad you are, how hard life is for you" etc, etc, etc
My internal critic is a really nasty fucker. I don't think I've ever had anyone say anything quite so hurtful as my own brain has thrown at me in my darkest moments
It's such an upsetting and awful cycle because obviously after that going round in your head you aren't going to feel better are you?
I think that's one of the things I found really useful about private therapy, my therapist told me I had to stop comparing my journey and reactions to other peoples.
My pain is valid, my MH struggles are real and it's not my fault.
I didn't ask for wonky MH, I didn't invite it in and I didn't do anything to deserve it and I am not making it up.
It just is, like the fact that my ears stick out a bit or that I've got big front teeth and a pretty sizable conk
ETA: Obviously I have agency and can try and do things to combat it, I'm not throwing in the towel or anything by saying that ^ I am obviously still a massive work in progress though
I really can't put into words the disappointment and sadness I felt hearing that you managed to go for treatment only to be turned away for basically not looking "mentally ill". It is just heartbreaking because I know what a massive step it is to even make an appointment. It's an absolute joke and I am glad you managed to get over that bad experience and keep percivering.
People who are mentally ill don't often present that way. If you met me you would have no idea that I am chemically balanced by a cocktail of medicine. I am however 100% open with it and don't hide it, I talk about mental health with everyone because I think it's so important. The amount of people who say to me "oh you don't look crazy/depressed/anxious ya da ya da". I'm trying to change the stigma of depressed people walking about face tripping them with greasy hair and black clothing
I was very lucky that my late Mum always taught me from a young age to vocalise exactly what I wanted/needed to Doctors. I learnt that if a Doctor was old school "take a walk and have a banana/pull yourself together" type to dump them and get someone who knew about MH issues as they are. When I get a new Doctor as I did recently I lay it all out. Even when I went for my Corona jag before the lady took my name i told her I had severe anxiety etc
I am waffling but I guess my long run on point is please never be ashamed of what you fight through every day. Don't compare your journey to others because 3ft or 30ft someone is still drowning. No one else's struggle invalidates how you feel.
It's not all sunshine so don't get me wrong. There are days when my mind rages against me, there are days when I lay in bed or feel like tit but I know in my mind it's only temporary. I tell that internal voice to stop. The thing I was saying about the internal voice exercise absolutely helps.
If you say to yourself " your an idiot" you then have to stop and say " I'm sorry your not an idiot your just frustrated/sad/etc"
It actually works.
Anyway sorry to have babbled on so much. I just think it's so important that people know they are seen and they are applauded for doing a great bleeping job
People who are mentally ill don't often present that way. If you met me you would have no idea that I am chemically balanced by a cocktail of medicine. I am however 100% open with it and don't hide it, I talk about mental health with everyone because I think it's so important. The amount of people who say to me "oh you don't look crazy/depressed/anxious ya da ya da". I'm trying to change the stigma of depressed people walking about face tripping them with greasy hair and black clothing
I was very lucky that my late Mum always taught me from a young age to vocalise exactly what I wanted/needed to Doctors. I learnt that if a Doctor was old school "take a walk and have a banana/pull yourself together" type to dump them and get someone who knew about MH issues as they are. When I get a new Doctor as I did recently I lay it all out. Even when I went for my Corona jag before the lady took my name i told her I had severe anxiety etc
I am waffling but I guess my long run on point is please never be ashamed of what you fight through every day. Don't compare your journey to others because 3ft or 30ft someone is still drowning. No one else's struggle invalidates how you feel.
It's not all sunshine so don't get me wrong. There are days when my mind rages against me, there are days when I lay in bed or feel like tit but I know in my mind it's only temporary. I tell that internal voice to stop. The thing I was saying about the internal voice exercise absolutely helps.
If you say to yourself " your an idiot" you then have to stop and say " I'm sorry your not an idiot your just frustrated/sad/etc"
It actually works.
Anyway sorry to have babbled on so much. I just think it's so important that people know they are seen and they are applauded for doing a great bleeping job
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Not babbling at all
I strongly argue back now with that inner voice. And yes we are all diff, no one thing suits everyone- Status