Oh goodness it's madness when you start answering it back. You very quickly realise that sometimes you talk to yourself like your tit! It's such a reaction like oh I can't find my purse so my internal voice is all your a total idiotNot babbling at allI strongly argue back now with that inner voice. And yes we are all diff, no one thing suits everyone
. I know some people address there inner child in that way but I'm not there yet, talking to a wee child inside me feels creepy. 
BIB This is it exactly for me, I kept on pushing myself and patching myself up with quick fixes that got me through each individual crisis but the cumulative damage obviously takes a toll. The scales falling from my eyes about who my ex husband was and the subsequent breakup of my marriage was the final blow and I just wasn't able to function at all for a while.In a very dumbed down way I learnt a lot about this from the rehab team after mum's stroke, about how her brain is going to take easiest way out, how it's going to trick her into thinking she can't do stuff. Random quote;
He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still - Lao Tzu also said it before & I'll say it again, your tenacity & balls & how you've coped & survived are truly awesome, thank you for sharing & just being you
@House of Tea - I do like your ethos & your posts. Fwiw I remember how incredibly belligerent (think that's right word) that particular poster you're referring to was about an entirely different issue from the beginning of their posting so I don't think you should take it personally, just keep being you
@GoLibrarianPoo - all I can say is I echo a lot of what you've said. I'm totally unashamed at now starting therapy at late stage to better what I've tried to do myself because in this crazy world its just not enough anymore it seems. So appreciate the old standard dust yourself down & get on with it, that's fine until it isn't, you've helped me feel braver about just being me. Thank you sincerely
All of you lot really, your views, thoughts & experiences, I do really value, thank you
I said I reacted to "bw videogate" viscerally that's still true. But little voice in back of my head is wondering about the links with selling products etc. Which is why I attempt to scroll through recent dross for the info from welpDon't have enough solid info yet to totally form a personal opinion but I guess time will indeed tell
for me it's still about best thing for the kids. I'm intrigued by diff between narc dads/mums (some have sadly had both
) sorry to post here just not v comfortable over there atm
although will keep trying unless it gets very much more awful
It's good to keep trying but it's not ok to run yourself ragged and although independence is great and should be strived for in general the old saying no man is an island is very true. 
You should be proudly you! I think you are really awesome in so many ways! 
And I'm still really proud of you for taking the step to get therapy! You bleeping rock! 
BIB This is such an amazing way to put it.I read on the MT both your experience and wanted to reply but fell asleepI really can't put into words the disappointment and sadness I felt hearing that you managed to go for treatment only to be turned away for basically not looking "mentally ill". It is just heartbreaking because I know what a massive step it is to even make an appointment. It's an absolute joke and I am glad you managed to get over that bad experience and keep percivering.
People who are mentally ill don't often present that way. If you met me you would have no idea that I am chemically balanced by a cocktail of medicine. I am however 100% open with it and don't hide it, I talk about mental health with everyone because I think it's so important. The amount of people who say to me "oh you don't look crazy/depressed/anxious ya da ya da". I'm trying to change the stigma of depressed people walking about face tripping them with greasy hair and black clothing
I was very lucky that my late Mum always taught me from a young age to vocalise exactly what I wanted/needed to Doctors. I learnt that if a Doctor was old school "take a walk and have a banana/pull yourself together" type to dump them and get someone who knew about MH issues as they are. When I get a new Doctor as I did recently I lay it all out. Even when I went for my Corona jag before the lady took my name i told her I had severe anxiety etc
I am waffling but I guess my long run on point is please never be ashamed of what you fight through every day. Don't compare your journey to others because 3ft or 30ft someone is still drowning. No one else's struggle invalidates how you feel.
It's not all sunshine so don't get me wrong. There are days when my mind rages against me, there are days when I lay in bed or feel like tit but I know in my mind it's only temporary. I tell that internal voice to stop. The thing I was saying about the internal voice exercise absolutely helps.
If you say to yourself " your an idiot" you then have to stop and say " I'm sorry your not an idiot your just frustrated/sad/etc"
It actually works.
Anyway sorry to have babbled on so much. I just think it's so important that people know they are seen and they are applauded for doing a great bleeping job
I think it's amazing you make a point to better inform people about the various ways MH can present If I have a ghost they must think I have a shocking problem with outbursts of random swearing. I will be pootling along quietly and suddenly say quite loudly "duck off!" or "don't be a dick!" or "oh do STFU" etc... all at my brain when it throws nasty insults at meOh goodness it's madness when you start answering it back. You very quickly realise that sometimes you talk to yourself like your tit! It's such a reaction like oh I can't find my purse so my internal voice is all your a total idiot
π«
yes my days of pushing myself to total wipeout are gone. Recognising & learning how to keep myself on level no longer seems selfish. A kind wise person said as long as everyone fed & watered wtf else matters until tomorrow (paraphrased there but you know what I mean)π«Thank you. I am having some time away from MT. Sometimes it feels that people have over invested on it and you canβt make a straightforward comment as they take it personally. We all have issues and perhaps release our hurt and anger out in what we think is a neutral space, but can hurt others feelings. Normally I shrug things off but the unnecessary harsh words got to me yesterday.I am ok today but will be giving the MT a miss for a while. This thread is a warmer space.In a very dumbed down way I learnt a lot about this from the rehab team after mum's stroke, about how her brain is going to take easiest way out, how it's going to trick her into thinking she can't do stuff. Random quote;
He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still - Lao Tzu also said it before & I'll say it again, your tenacity & balls & how you've coped & survived are truly awesome, thank you for sharing & just being you
@House of Tea - I do like your ethos & your posts. Fwiw I remember how incredibly belligerent (think that's right word) that particular poster you're referring to was about an entirely different issue from the beginning of their posting so I don't think you should take it personally, just keep being you
@GoLibrarianPoo - all I can say is I echo a lot of what you've said. I'm totally unashamed at now starting therapy at late stage to better what I've tried to do myself because in this crazy world its just not enough anymore it seems. So appreciate the old standard dust yourself down & get on with it, that's fine until it isn't, you've helped me feel braver about just being me. Thank you sincerely
All of you lot really, your views, thoughts & experiences, I do really value, thank you
I said I reacted to "bw videogate" viscerally that's still true. But little voice in back of my head is wondering about the links with selling products etc. Which is why I attempt to scroll through recent dross for the info from welp
Adds some homemade cinnamon buns to your rather sexy lookin tray of comestibles 
With these *breathes like Darth Vader for extra creepy factor* I have a day off. I got up at 5.30am. I am tempted to go back to bed, I am sleepy now. But such a waste of a day off.
I bet you didn't get yours like this
Ha! Maybe the horse wanted some hash browns.I bet you didn't get yours like this
Woman rides a horse through McDonald's drive-thru leaving customers baffled
Drivers were understandably baffled when a woman on a steed joined the line of vehicles waiting to order food from a McDonald's drive-thru in Borehamwood, Hertswww.mirror.co.uk
ETA still trying to slog way through MT & wondering why I'm bothering
My mum and dad's best friends were massive fans of his and so was a girl I went to school with. He was played a lot in my childhood. He was like a sexy dancing ninja, he appeared from nowhere, whirled me around the dancefloor till I was giggling my tits off and then disappeared off into the night without a word 
I used to read pretty much all of each thread and now I'm jumping lots of pages and sticking my oar in randomly with not a lot to say for myself so it's not like I'm guilt free on that account 
Have you got any plans?You express yourself very well imho. A brave, honest personI don't even remember typing that post about replying tomorrow
I don't think it helps that I was in denial for so many years. I suffered a trauma when I was 15 and never really recovered. I used to self medicate with alcohol and drugs. It's only in the past 8 years that I've actually tried to sort myself out and only the last 2 that I've been taking my meds. Better late than never right?
I'm not very good at expressing myself in words and I know my grammar probably annoys people but I didn't learn grammar when I learnt to write again
We haven't planned anything just yet - I've got a day full of errands and I want to do one of my course modules this evening. We will go swimming at some point but the weekend seems to have come around quickly!@Katie8ee and @House of Tea I saw a headline that about that today too, it mentioned COVID as the reason is that right do you know?
@Magpierainbow Oh that's sad to hear he died
One of the best dances I ever had was with a total stranger on a night out to Paradise by the dashboard lightor a snognever to be seen again... maybe I'm a really terrible dancer
@Caitlyn130 I noticed a few regular posters dropped off a while back when things started to get quiet and the thread topic kind of spread out a bit
Ooh last weekend this side of the pond!
It said it was because of Covid but it's all a bit dodgy I think. People on the comments were saying there were rumours as far back as last week that the show just wasn't ready. A few years back she did similar cancelled shows at Wembley promised a reschedule and those people are still waiting. It's such a shame when it becomes all about money.
also if I never hear the word cameo again I will be a happy lady.I think you express yourself perfectly (remember how I knew you would like a fist bumpI don't even remember typing that post about replying tomorrow
I don't think it helps that I was in denial for so many years. I suffered a trauma when I was 15 and never really recovered. I used to self medicate with alcohol and drugs. It's only in the past 8 years that I've actually tried to sort myself out and only the last 2 that I've been taking my meds. Better late than never right?
I'm not very good at expressing myself in words and I know my grammar probably annoys people but I didn't learn grammar when I learnt to write again
) . Getting help isn't easy at first but you did it and that's the main thing. Just stop chucking things about xxxYeah like someone said on Twitter, if she knew today that the show would be cancelled, she would have known yesterday. Covid was one of the things mentioned because quite a few of her team had it, but personally I'm not sure I'm buying it as surely she could have replacement people step in? Given the situation knowing people might get struck down with covid, wouldn't you make sure you had backup plans?It said it was because of Covid but it's all a bit dodgy I think. People on the comments were saying there were rumours as far back as last week that the show just wasn't ready. A few years back she did similar cancelled shows at Wembley promised a reschedule and those people are still waiting. It's such a shame when it becomes all about money.
I agree about the MT it's all just how messy the house is. Ten pages discussing a photo of a kiddo. Personally I thought the wee one was just doing like face paint make up and she looked cute
Must actually get out of bed and crack on now! Guests shall be arriving in about four hours.
When I were a young lassI bet you didn't get yours like this
Woman rides a horse through McDonald's drive-thru leaving customers baffled
Drivers were understandably baffled when a woman on a steed joined the line of vehicles waiting to order food from a McDonald's drive-thru in Borehamwood, Herts
ETA still trying to slog way through MT & wondering why I'm bothering
I used to go and help out at my local riding stables for free rides. I was really lucky because I lived right next door at the time gave me a great sticky bum though that horse and I loved her dearly! Oh and the EPIC mud fight we had one day - just the hoomans obvs! - we were all black at the end but we had such a laugh...my mother was less amused at the state of me 
