Support Thread for the best strangers I've ever met!

[WestHighlandWy]

@daffodilgirl Hello

Saw your message on the Hinch Forum X

I’m having a bit of a guilt trip to do with my EX MIL.

Bit of a back story, me and my ex split when my LG was 3 she’s now 11, since then he’s had no contact, his choice not mine he stopped sending presents and cards when she was 7 years old and she noticed he didn’t send presents or cards.

Anyway me and his mum got on fine she distanced herself from my child too, she barely sees her even though she is down my street pretty often sometimes twice a week seeing one of my neighbours ( they’re friends) but only calls at my house maybe once every few months or to bring down Xmas & birthday cards / presents.

My daughter doesn’t really know her as she doesn’t see them, again their choice not mine.

the Thing is I haven’t bought her a card or present from my daughter since me and her dad split as he was the one who always got them for His mum.
Today she has called down and like every year has bought cards for my daughter and for me too but she added money into mine, now I’m feeling guilty that I don’t buy her anything or give her a card.

do I start giving her cards and presents.

If it just presents from your daughter you’re worried about then I wouldn’t bother. As you say she barely knows the woman. The woman is probably feeling guilty, maybe she will want to get know your daughter better?
It’s hard to know…… sorry I’m not much help.

 

[Miss Ophelia]

Hello fellow tattlers another place to lay my head down and have a deep rest.

 

[CoolMom]

Hey everyone! Just nipped over from the Hinch thread, what a wonderful idea this is

I'd just like a little rant please, as I don't have many real life people to talk to. I am currently away with my husband and two children visiting family, splitting our time between mine and his lot. Earlier this week we saw mine..it was amazing. We haven't seen each other since Summer and my kids have grown up so much since then! We are now with husband's family and I got a message this morning to day my close family member has tested positive for Covid

We had so many plans to see them and her family between Xmas and new year, they were hosting a second Xmas with loads of exciting stuff for the kids to do and it's all just blown up now they will be in isolation. My anxiety is also through the roof thag we will have caught it after spending time with them this week. I don't want my young kids to be ill (like, ever!) but especially not over Christmas!

I guess I'm just fed up, as I know we all are with this tit. I just want to cry but I can't, it's Christmas Eve and my kids don't need to know yet that all our plans next week are fucked.

Sorry. I hope you are all having a great time whatever you are doing!!! Xxxx

 

[Palms]

Hey everyone! Just nipped over from the Hinch thread, what a wonderful idea this is

I'd just like a little rant please, as I don't have many real life people to talk to. I am currently away with my husband and two children visiting family, splitting our time between mine and his lot. Earlier this week we saw mine..it was amazing. We haven't seen each other since Summer and my kids have grown up so much since then! We are now with husband's family and I got a message this morning to day my close family member has tested positive for Covid

We had so many plans to see them and her family between Xmas and new year, they were hosting a second Xmas with loads of exciting stuff for the kids to do and it's all just blown up now they will be in isolation. My anxiety is also through the roof thag we will have caught it after spending time with them this week. I don't want my young kids to be ill (like, ever!) but especially not over Christmas!

I guess I'm just fed up, as I know we all are with this tit. I just want to cry but I can't, it's Christmas Eve and my kids don't need to know yet that all our plans next week are fucked.

Sorry. I hope you are all having a great time whatever you are doing!!! Xxxx

I'm so sorry your plans have changed. Its so mentally hard isn't it.
I hope you feel a little better after getting it off your chest a bit here. If not, have a little cry in the bathroom. Sometimes a little cry can make you feel so much better

 

[Pollyanna263]

I’m having a bit of a guilt trip to do with my EX MIL.

Bit of a back story, me and my ex split when my LG was 3 she’s now 11, since then he’s had no contact, his choice not mine he stopped sending presents and cards when she was 7 years old and she noticed he didn’t send presents or cards.

Anyway me and his mum got on fine she distanced herself from my child too, she barely sees her even though she is down my street pretty often sometimes twice a week seeing one of my neighbours ( they’re friends) but only calls at my house maybe once every few months or to bring down Xmas & birthday cards / presents.

My daughter doesn’t really know her as she doesn’t see them, again their choice not mine.

the Thing is I haven’t bought her a card or present from my daughter since me and her dad split as he was the one who always got them for His mum.
Today she has called down and like every year has bought cards for my daughter and for me too but she added money into mine, now I’m feeling guilty that I don’t buy her anything or give her a card.

do I start giving her cards and presents.

I think maybe this year, something has made her want to do that little bit extra. It’s lovely of her, and I’m sure you really appreciate it, but you shouldn’t feel under any pressure to reciprocate at all.

A card from your daughter, if your daughter wants to, is more than enough. It’s her grandmother, but again she shouldn’t be under pressure if she doesn’t want to.

Maybe in the new year a thank you note? You could say we used the money for xyz or we are intending to use it towards xyz - I know with my ex MIL she would appreciate that.

It’s lovely that she’s made a bit more effort, but don’t forget there’s a whole year ahead. If she continues and sees your daughter more, and the effort isn’t just one day, I think things will then feel more natural for both of you.

xxx

Hey everyone! Just nipped over from the Hinch thread, what a wonderful idea this is

I'd just like a little rant please, as I don't have many real life people to talk to. I am currently away with my husband and two children visiting family, splitting our time between mine and his lot. Earlier this week we saw mine..it was amazing. We haven't seen each other since Summer and my kids have grown up so much since then! We are now with husband's family and I got a message this morning to day my close family member has tested positive for Covid

We had so many plans to see them and her family between Xmas and new year, they were hosting a second Xmas with loads of exciting stuff for the kids to do and it's all just blown up now they will be in isolation. My anxiety is also through the roof thag we will have caught it after spending time with them this week. I don't want my young kids to be ill (like, ever!) but especially not over Christmas!

I guess I'm just fed up, as I know we all are with this tit. I just want to cry but I can't, it's Christmas Eve and my kids don't need to know yet that all our plans next week are fucked.

Sorry. I hope you are all having a great time whatever you are doing!!! Xxxx

Oh no, that’s so unfair. I hope your family member has it mildly. There’s lots being reported to say omicron seems to be milder

I’m not going to say don’t worry about whether you have it, because I know it’s not that simple. I guess practically and to feel like you’re doing something, you could LFT daily and just be aware of the symptoms. I’m so hopeful that you’re all okay.

Maybe in the new year your family member will do Christmas part 2

 

[Turmeric123]

Sending and hugs to all of you this Christmas

 

[☆MagicRoundabout☆]

I've also popped over from the Hinch threads to send my love and support. My youngest has tested positive for Covid (3x jabbed) this morning so just me and the hubster who likes to sleep alot on dats off!

I suffer from anxiety which is particularly bad since I was suddenly diagnosed with cardiomyopathy/heart failure last year so I'm mostly at home and due already postponed surgery in January I'm a nervous wreck. I've also lost much of my mobility due to spinal stenosis so life has changed significantly over a few years.

I do like a good laugh with a wicked sense of humour and I send out big heartfelt hugs to everyone especially if you are going through a crappy time as Christmas can be for so many whatever the reason. Xx

 

[Swarm_in_a_Tea_Cup]

Hello you nusty trolls

I think I need relationship advice.

I've been with an older man (he's 53, I'm almost 38) for over 3 years.

It might sound pathetic but ive felt extremely depressed this Christmas. I've organised and paid for everything this Christmas. With no help whatsoever. He earned almost 3k and I took home 1300.00 for Christmas.

Don't get me wrong, he's paid his way somewhat. But I've paid for the food, I've spent entire Christmas Eve cooking, wrapping and preparing. He went to the pub at 2. Rang me at 6 when the turkey was still in the oven having a go at me cos I'm not in the Christmas spirit as I wouldn't join him


Am I over reacting? Cos I'm done xx

 

[Turmeric123]

Hello you nusty trolls

I think I need relationship advice.

I've been with an older man (he's 53, I'm almost 38) for over 3 years.

It might sound pathetic but ive felt extremely depressed this Christmas. I've organised and paid for everything this Christmas. With no help whatsoever. He earned almost 3k and I took home 1300.00 for Christmas.

Don't get me wrong, he's paid his way somewhat. But I've paid for the food, I've spent entire Christmas Eve cooking, wrapping and preparing. He went to the pub at 2. Rang me at 6 when the turkey was still in the oven having a go at me cos I'm not in the Christmas spirit as I wouldn't join him


Am I over reacting? Cos I'm done xx

Thats tit
Has it happened before? Or is this the first time
Men can be pricks especially at Christmas

 

[Moomoomoo]

What a lovely idea this thread is This Xmas is going to be an odd one for me, I had to leave home suddenly yesterday due to ongoing issues with my domestic situation so suddenly find myself in my sons flat alone with duck all. (They are abroad with his in laws for Xmas). You lovely lot have made me smile today over on the hinch thread. What a beautiful kind hearted bunch of trolls you are Happy Xmas one and all Xxx

 

[Justanorthernlass]

Hello me bairns ,
Hope everyone is doing OK.
What a hard day today has been, with oldest getting covid I feel like I've lost all Christmas spirit and haven't done much with littlest one and her birthday Is boxing day and even tho we are negative I still don't wanna risk it, seeing people and for leaving eldest but feel bad for youngest.

I know tomorrow will be magical and a more relaxing christmas day will no doubt be lovely. Just feel crap and needed to twist.

Hope you all have a lovely day x

 

[Turmeric123]

Hello me bairns ,
Hope everyone is doing OK.
What a hard day today has been, with oldest getting covid I feel like I've lost all Christmas spirit and haven't done much with littlest one and her birthday Is boxing day and even tho we are negative I still don't wanna risk it, seeing people and for leaving eldest but feel bad for youngest.

I know tomorrow will be magical and a more relaxing christmas day will no doubt be lovely. Just feel crap and needed to twist.

Hope you all have a lovely day x

Aw I hope its a better day for you all
Its such a tough time of year I'm really finding it hard this year and as much as I try pretend it's all OK my tears give me away I just can't stop them
I hope you all have a lovely Christmas xx

 

[Swarm_in_a_Tea_Cup]

Thats tit
Has it happened before? Or is this the first time
Men can be pricks especially at Christmas

It's happened before but I think it's been less significant cos the time of year.

I'm just exhausted cos I feel it's so one sided. He's actually come home and I've told him how I feel and he's drunk so obviously says what I want him to. His resolution is for me to leave my job ... which will just make us worse.

I'll speak to him again when he's sober but it's not going to help if that's his reaction xx

 

[Pollyanna263]

Hello you nusty trolls

I think I need relationship advice.

I've been with an older man (he's 53, I'm almost 38) for over 3 years.

It might sound pathetic but ive felt extremely depressed this Christmas. I've organised and paid for everything this Christmas. With no help whatsoever. He earned almost 3k and I took home 1300.00 for Christmas.

Don't get me wrong, he's paid his way somewhat. But I've paid for the food, I've spent entire Christmas Eve cooking, wrapping and preparing. He went to the pub at 2. Rang me at 6 when the turkey was still in the oven having a go at me cos I'm not in the Christmas spirit as I wouldn't join him


Am I over reacting? Cos I'm done xx

I can’t read and run on this.
My last relationship had a similar, slightly bigger gap. What I came to realise is, he was never going to change. He had expectations of me, but I wasn’t allowed to have expectations of him. It was totally unbalanced.
I think in a situation like that, you know deep down what the right thing is for you x

It's happened before but I think it's been less significant cos the time of year.

I'm just exhausted cos I feel it's so one sided. He's actually come home and I've told him how I feel and he's drunk so obviously says what I want him to. His resolution is for me to leave my job ... which will just make us worse.

I'll speak to him again when he's sober but it's not going to help if that's his reaction xx

Just seen this. Why does he want you to leave your job? x

 

[emm]

I can’t read and run on this.
My last relationship had a similar, slightly bigger gap. What I came to realise is, he was never going to change. He had expectations of me, but I wasn’t allowed to have expectations of him. It was totally unbalanced.
I think in a situation like that, you know deep down what the right thing is for you x



Just seen this. Why does he want you to leave your job? x

I think some one wanting you to leave your job, and presumably your own financial freedom, is a MAJOR red flag

 

[Swarm_in_a_Tea_Cup]

I can’t read and run on this.
My last relationship had a similar, slightly bigger gap. What I came to realise is, he was never going to change. He had expectations of me, but I wasn’t allowed to have expectations of him. It was totally unbalanced.
I think in a situation like that, you know deep down what the right thing is for you x



Just seen this. Why does he want you to leave your job? x

He thinks my job is less than his as I work from home. My hoyrs

Sorry, don't know what happened there. He thinks it I leave my job I'll be fine. He's lucky he loves his job. I hate mine as I go against my morals every day. Joy.

Sorry, don't know what happened there. He thinks it I leave my job I'll be fine. He's lucky he loves his job. I hate mine as I go against my morals every day. Joy.

I can’t read and run on this.
My last relationship had a similar, slightly bigger gap. What I came to realise is, he was never going to change. He had expectations of me, but I wasn’t allowed to have expectations of him. It was totally unbalanced.
I think in a situation like that, you know deep down what the right thing is for you x



Just seen this. Why does he want you to leave your job? x

Sorry, I don't know what happened before.

I'm not sure why he does but apparently it will do me good.

I can't not work xxx

 

[Pollyanna263]

He thinks my job is less than his as I work from home. My hoyrs

Sorry, don't know what happened there. He thinks it I leave my job I'll be fine. He's lucky he loves his job. I hate mine as I go against my morals every day. Joy.

Sorry, don't know what happened there. He thinks it I leave my job I'll be fine. He's lucky he loves his job. I hate mine as I go against my morals every day. Joy.



Sorry, I don't know what happened before.

I'm not sure why he does but apparently it will do me good.

I can't not work xxx

It sounds like there’s a lot of control from his side. Or at least that he wants there to be.

If I’m over-stepping here, please say and I’ll stop. I really don’t want to upset you.

Are there things he doesn’t like you doing? Going out with friends without him, seeing family, texting or being on the phone if he doesn’t know who to?
Do you live together?
What’s the financial situation? If you both contribute equally, do you have enough disposable income for the other things you need, and want? Clothes, days out, etc.

I look at what you’ve said and I see warning signs. I can only see it because I have the benefit of hindsight (and therapy) but please know that you shouldn’t have to feel upset, under pressure, or unequal in your relationship xx

 

[Curlywurly82]

Hey everyone

I've been quiet on here last few days , it's been a mad house.
Just popping in to wish everyone a very happy Christmas... Christmas can be a really truly shite time ,so hope everyone is fine.

My pair wanted up at half past three this morning, eventually managed to hold out till half five ! Managed to vote my tongue when in laws popped in as well so all in all a successful day !

Can't wait to get into bed now !

 

[WestHighlandWy]

Merry Christmas to you all
Hope everyone is okay. I’ve just had my dinner a while ago and now it’s hi ho it’s off to work I go! Hope all the kids sleep better tonight and yous get a bita peace after all the madness!

 

[Turmeric123]