Support for anyone that needs to vent

[miamae]

After feeling sorry for myself all day and crying so much my bloody face is swollen, I decided to man up and make a list of all of the reasons as to why my ex is a tosser. This has made me feel a little better, would highly recommend

 

[StrawberryCream]

I haven’t yet, I’m trying to be 100% sure as I don’t want to throw accusations around, however I’ve caught him on dating sites when I was pregnant with our youngest and stupidly stayed so it wouldn’t surprise me. He doesn’t see an issue with the way he’s acting and apparently he’s entitled to ‘me time’. I have no problem with him going out and doing his hobbies but the extent he does is a joke and the fact that he doesn’t help/never cooks/etc it’s just all a bit much!

If you know he has been on dating sites while you were pregnant then I think you sadly know the answer… I don’t know your living situation whether it’s a shared mortgage or rent but you should ask him to move out or make arrangements for you and the kids to leave, your only 23, you have your whole life ahead of you, don’t waste it with this loser

 

[Bitofthebubbly]

Got invited to a wedding reception which is later tonight. Thought great, I find wedding ceremonies boring anyway so wasn’t really bothered about not being invited to that part and was looking forward to the evening thing.

Now the day is here and I’m having fomo because pics are starting to appear on social media and my brain is like “WHY DIDNT THEY WANT YOU AT THE CEREMONY???” “LOOK, THEYRE DOING SPEECHES NOW WHY DIDNT THEY WANT YOU THERE FOR THAT?? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???” “YOU’RE PROBABLY THE ONLY ONE INVITED TO JUST THE EVENING THING BECAUSE YOU SUCK”. And I hate it. Literally before this day I genuinely wasn’t bothered, just happy to be invited. My friend had already had to cut numbers down and stuff and it must have been a tough job so I wasn’t about to complain or act like a bitch because it’s been a right pain in the arse for her anyway. Now I’m just a ball of anxiety dreading the whole thing and feeling like I’m probably not wanted there anyway which is obviously stupid as I wouldn’t have been invited if I wasn’t welcome?? I think the fact that I’ve had all day to think about this and get stuck in my own head really hasn’t helped.

I’m going to go anyway because I know it won’t be as bad as that and not going would make it all worse as well as being incredibly rude of me, but omg I hate having this battle with my brain every time I do pretty much anything. Before I got full blown social anxiety I used to actually look forward to social things, now I dread them.

Update: had panic attack in shower. now going to have a stiff drink whilst I get ready because I don’t think I can show up sober without crumbling.

 

[BettyCrockerr]

I can’t make a thread topic for advice (I think I’m too new) so I’m going to vent here
I can’t get over my ex. We were together from 16-23 and It’s been 2 years since we broke up, he was horrible, physically and mentally abusive, and a cheat to top it off.
We broke up because he felt like he “needed to be single” but as soon as we did, he got another girlfriend.
I felt so betrayed, but we still chatted once in a while, nothing sexual or above friendly, however I still feel emotionally and mentally attached. The last time we spoke was 4 months ago, he said “if I ever needed anyone, he would be there for me”
That’s total bollocks, and I know it. Everytime I see his new girlfriends posts about “date night” I want to vomit. He never did any of that for me, he refused to go out with me because he “didn’t know what we’d talk about” but he’d do it all for her
I’ve never seen anyone talk about this before so I guess I’m just stuck in a rut. I thought by now I would’ve been over it.. I dunno what to do, to forget and move on

Block him & her across all social media - stop looking at whatever she is posting, you need a total
detox. Get rid of everything you have connected to him - photos/jewellery/clothes/perfume etc - the lot - you need to break all the emotional connections and stop obsessing over him & his girlfriend.

 

[BettyCrockerr]

I remember the story but are they not legit?

No. This person has created various profiles on tattle and has posted various times about their fictional problems- forum admin have removed the posts and blocked the various other accounts in the past. It’s always the same kind of story and the same style of writing and similar nonsense.

 

[miamae]

I work in a bitchy toxic environment, and yesterday I saw how bad it is - one of my colleagues is timing another colleagues toilet breaks and is going to 'tell the manager'.

She knows her shifts etc and was adding it all up yesterday to explain why it's wrong.

Really makes me worried to leave the room I feel like she is watching and ready to go telling tales.

I could have written this!! My friend and I work in the same office and she’s been leaving early as her mum has Cancer so she is taking her to appts, etc. It had been cleared by management and didn’t want anyone else to know. Anyway, last week two of the oldest workers there marched up to our manager and demanded to know why my friend was leaving early and preceded to present my manager with the timings of her leaving for the week!! Unbelievable. Edit to add that me and my friend are only 23, and these women are 50+.

 

[Arianatrees]

I saw the title of this thread and after being sat staring at my four walls for the past hour thought it might be a good place to get some words of support… I’ve typed it all out and maybe I just needed to share it as no one knows and it feels like a huge weight I’m carrying

So after a tough lockdown last year I discovered my boyfriend (35 years old !) of 2 years at the time (November) had been sexting other girls, liking their photos, messaging them flirty messages etc. We talked, I forgave him.

Since then I’ve had minimal effort from him, he’s always on his phone etc. Two weeks ago
I discovered he’s been flirting again on his Instagram DM,s and sending the fire emoji out to girls he follows… (younger, pretty, “Instagram” type girls - big lips etc). Im hidden from any social media so he probably appears single to them.

ive not confronted him this time as Im done with being disrespected. Ive been saving up for a house deposit since it happened the first time as I live With him (his house) and I knew i needed a backup should it happen again. Ive seen a property and I’m one step away from a mortgage offer, ive done this all on my own! It should be such a proud, exciting moment but I feel very guilty doing this behind his back but for once I need to look out for me.

it’s very hard being here in the interim, knowing the house ive seen isn’t ready until October, biting my tongue when he is cocky or rude to me. I know I won’t / can’t stick it out with a brave face until then and ultimately need to find something temporary.

I shouldn’t be so nice and consider his feelings (it’s just who I am!) but i Don’t feel fair on him being here when I could just let him move on. Feel like I’m using him a bit… guess that’s where I have a conscious and he doesn’t.

Dragging this weight around for the past week or
So has been hard, on top of the initial dishonestly last year. Feeling very unmotivated to exercise and enjoy life with my mind on overdrive, getting little sleep or inner peace.

I believe we’re all a path and it’ll work out one way or another, just hard sometimes when your in the situation.

 

[NoseyNiamh]

I'm going through one of the worst periods of my life. I have never felt this sad or lonely before.
I'm almost 40, I wasted the last three years of my life with a man that could not commit to me. I miscarried last year(I think he was relieved). I live in a rented house and would struggle to get a mortgage on my own. I have a good enough job but due to how sad I'm currently feeling, it's interfering with my concentration and I'm messing up.
I'm no longer seeing the narcissist that wouldn't commit. Its been two weeks since I saw him, I know it's final this time but I have had bad days and messaged him but he just ignores me.
I feel like I have really messed up my life. I cry so much that my eyes are constantly swollen and I stay awake all night thinking about how much I have wasted my life.

My doctor has asked me to speak to a therapist before he will give me any antidepressants or sleeping tablets.
I've had two sessions so far but I dont know if it will help.
I just feel so awful and worthless. Life is very very hard

 

[hereforthememe]

I'm getting overwhelmed with life. I live alone (no children) so have to take care of myself/the place, I have a full time job, part time uni study, trying to eat regularly, exercise regularly, have some form of social life... The past couple of weeks I've started anti depressants for long-term MH I've been struggling with but it's not really working yet. I'm sat on the sofa feeling sorry for myself when I have about 10 other things I should be doing rn. The longer I put things off, the more it piles up, but I'm just giving myself a migraine here from the stress of it all.

 

[Peaches_xox]

I just feel really down lately. Like I keep getting overwhelming feelings of sadness and I don’t know why, like I’ll be fine and then next min it completely takes over me and I feel sad and sick. I have had a lot go on over this past year and things in my relationship are not great so it could be that but when I feel down it feels like it takes over my whole body. Does anybody know what I mean

 

[Caramel Latte]

I feel like i need to elaborate on my sad reality.
I live in a 3rd world country, where women are harassed daily, and where policemen are a vile group of society. With that being said, no there are no cctv, the pig did something inappropriate to her then ran off (it was a harassment not assault sorry English isn't my first language). The girl was shocked and it shocked me to see it happen cuz i moved to this country just a few months ago. The most i could do is open a window and shout but he literally just ran away the bastard. Not everywhere is like your countries, laws here are to oppress the poor not to help them.

I was just getting used to walking in the streets alone but now I'm scared it would happen to me too.

 

[Kofi Annan]

My eldest daughter is 17 years old tomorrow and for the past 3 years she has been in a toxic relationship with a guy who is 2 years older than her.
We found out that he had been grooming her and they had been engaging in sexual contact whilst she was underage and he was an adult. It was very distressing and tore our family apart. We knew nothing about him until we discovered that and they met via Snapchat.
We did everything we could to prevent contact like notifying the Police, contacting social services, removing her phone but he was very persistent so when she turned 16 they "got back in touch" - we suspect they'd never been out of touch.
Since then it's been hell. Her moods are very much controlled by him, she has told us she will pick him over us every single time. We have stood firm and told her we will never accept him.
To make things even more difficult we received info that he is a drug dealer, dealing large quantities from his parents address, who have completely befriended my daughter. I cannot even be on my daughters FB because his mother writes the most ridiculous comments to everything my daughter posts. It makes me sick.
We have spoken to her openly about our concerns and when she ran away to his address the Police returned her immediately because of the risk she faces being at his address. She is vile with us, tells me she hates me and that she wishes I was dead. It has broken my relationship with my husband, who is not her biological father because she is so disgusting towards him. He has been the constant father figure in her life since she was 2 years old and the things she has said to him are devastating.
Today she was supposed to be meeting up with her boyfriend and going local, he lives quite far away and we won't allow her to go to his. Next thing we knew she'd hopped on a train and absconded. She got home about an hour ago and refuses to speak to me as I threatened her with the Police. She has sent me absolute vile messages as a response.
I've just dumped her birthday presents unwrapped on her bedroom floor, I can't even look at her. She told me his family has bought her presents which are far superior to ours anyway.

 

[chorizorice]

Today’s the second one year anniversary in the last month of friends of mine who passed away from overdoses and I’m very sad, emotionally overwhelmed but also not really all there. The last year has been awful. It’s just indescribable. I have a lot of love to give and spend a lot of my time thinking about others which I’m learning just exhausts me. I don’t drink or smoke or do anything now as I haven’t been a good place mentally and I can’t cope with the emotions that come with a hangover. I was recently diagnosed with ADD and will be going forward with trying medication in the next few weeks which I really hope can bring to me be focused on myself and get me putting myself first. I’ve always been rubbish at that. It’s just a sad day.

 

[Katydoo]

Hi all I couldn’t find an appropriate page so thought I’d come here and spill it all out before I pop! After 15 yrs alone I finally met an amazing man last August. I was 100% in the headspace that marriage was never something I’d experience and I was on the waiting list for IVF and sperm donation. I came off the pill in January, as advised by consultant, and new man was totally on board and understanding. Come June this year I was 6 months without a period and turning 40. Bloods showed my menopause had started probably last year (age 38/39) and I was put on ‘urgent list’ for fertility treatment, ‘fast-track’ solely for cancer/suspected cancer patients. Ive now been told due to covid delays I probably won’t be seen until after Christmas. By then who knows how advanced my menopause will be and if there’s anything there (eggs) to work with at all. I’m heartbroken, it feels like any minute chance I had is slipping away. I feel like I’m screaming and nothing is coming out because there’s nothing I can do.

 

[hereforthememe]

Do you ever get bored and sick of your life?

I'm not suicidal or anything, but I'm sick of things right now. Got a lot on at work and have uni deadlines, so I'm always working. The only time I'd have proper breaks was when dating but that has ended and I'm in no position to start with someone new

I just need some escapism and a right good moan

 

[Cooksie]

Last week a young girl reached out on Facebook to my husband. She told him she thought he was her dad. We got a paternity test done and found out today that he is in fact her dad. She is 22 and has 2 children. He was in a relationship with her mum when he was 19 and they broke up and she never told him she was pregnant. We have 2 teenage boys. I can't stop crying. I know it's not his fault but I can't get over how happy he is. I'm not at all. I was happy with our little family and now I feel like we are being invaded. Hes now a grandad! I wanted us to become grandparents together and that has been taken away. I am so resentful of her. I really don't want to be but I just can't help myself. I dont want her in my life. I really felt like walking out today. Am I in the wrong here because I am being made to feel like I am

I don’t think you are wrong to feel resentful at all. That’s massive for you to take in and whatever you are feeling right now is a natural and extremely valid reaction.

I am writing this as someone that came into my dads life when I was late teens. It’s all very exciting and dramatic and new right now. But before you know it, things will settle back to ‘normal’ life but with added extended family members. You and your partner have known her for the same amount of time so for her, whilst there is the initial draw more towards her dad than you, when it settles you are both just as equal a part of her life.

I appreciate your comment about becoming grandparents together. That must be really difficult for you. As savage as it is towards both her and her children.. There is going to be a difference when you become grandparents together as those babies will be because of the men you have raised together and are the product of that which is a bond nobody can take from you. But his daughter and her children have had no say in this matter so try not to put any resentment on them.

I can’t imagine from the other side of what I went through the insane range of emotions that you must be feeling. But try not to do anything rash like walking out. Give things time to settle and then see how you feel if you can

 

[BettyCrockerr]

I've read this and I wouldn't leave the ball totally in his court. If marriage is very important to you and he's saying things like that above I don't think its very funny or kind really. If I were you I'd be keeping my options open as well. If say in a while he's still stringing you along then I'd be jogging on to find someone who does want the same things as you and who will commit to you. I think he's still keeping his options very much open. If he was very committed he would have a least got engaged or said lets get engaged at Xmas or whatever.

Getting a mortgage and buying a house together is a huge commitment. I don’t think it’s usual for a guy of 25 to joke about regarding a proposal. 25 is so very young and for a guy, younger still.

 

[Bogwoppit]

I’m feeling so lonely at the moment, joined a gym shift some weight nobody wants to go with me even though I have a pass for a guest each month, pissed off my cheating ex gets to be happy with someone else & I have nobody, I’m in debt, defaulted on my credit card bill, the company have been sympathetic due to my circumstances & I know it’s too early yet but I can’t afford Christmas this year at all!

I don’t sleep due to worrying all the time I get up at 2/3am sit in my garden & just cry

 

[Cloak]

I found a job at my DREAM company and applied last week.

Last night I got an email from a director there, which was forwarding on a message she sent LAST WEEK — before I applied — telling me about the role. This message had ended up in my junk.

I was ecstatic as she had headhunted me and was following up to see if I'd be open to a chat. Serendipity or what!

Anyway, I spent about 5 hours doing my research, checking out the structure of the company, looking at their user base, writing my questions down and studying the job description with a fine-tooth comb.

First question of the interview is, "So tell me about your experience in the French and German markets?"

LITERALLY NOWHERE ON THE JD, or my CV, does it say ANYTHING about French/German market experience.

It was basically a lost cause after that, it was like they hadn't even read my CV. I think they were using an automated system to mass email tons of people so in fact I wasn't headhunted at all. That would explain why the email went to my junk though.

What a waste of everyones' time

 

[BettyCrockerr]

I work in fashion retail part time as I want to get into the fashion industry. Earlier this week my boss and the assistant manager had my one month review, and I got really up set(started crying) as these two women ganging up on me basically saying I'm not doing good enough?!

I'm more than qualified to work in a shop (I day trade so I'm not desperate for the money I took the job to get may feet wet) any way my boss has been on holiday for 2 weeks so I can't even believe she had the audacity to say 'oh I'm not enthusiastic enough in my job? like wtf she hasn't been there and the customer love me I'm a bit more mature than the average person there being 30 and always get complimented on my style. Oh and I dont ask for help (I do know my stuff a fir bit in fashion as I love it already)
I was late because of the tube and a passenger getting sick and they basically told me to apologies even though it was out of my control. people there treat you like a child, and they are all power hungry underpaid people stuck in the system.

I think I am going to quit. I was meant to be in today but I called in sick. I don't want to go to a place that give me more grief than I need in my life. Or be bullied by these two women its not fair.

Your attitude is pretty appalling. Sorry but you just sound completely full of yourself! If you were late for work you SHOULD apologise, not give a raft of excuses as to why. You work in a clothes shop, it’s not exactly like working for the house of Versace! Your job is to do what your manager tells you. If you think you are too good for that, then find another job.