Support for anyone that needs to vent

[Kofi Annan]

How does she contact you? Text / Facebook? Can you mute or block for your birthday week. You can enjoy it stress free and then you can read after you’ve had the nice time you deserve

They are all blocked on social media and also on our phones but we have the same mobile numbers as we always have so they can bypass the phone blocking, they know our address (therefore get random letters and cards) and she also sends messages via third parties.
One time she called my place of work, claimed to be calling with an emergency from my child's school and once I'd taken the call she proceeded to scream foul things at me.
Hence the anxiety, it's impossible.

 

[uglybettybetty]

If these people are really vulnerable then a large gathering probably still isn’t wise for them and everyone should definitely test beforehand, vaccinated or not. More covid cases are actually being seen in vaccinated people at the moment, but admittedly much milder cases, which is the whole point - to prevent hospitalisations. I think you need to compromise with your partner and say if they can show negative rapid flow tests then they can attend and make it super clear to all guests that not everyone is vaccinated, so they have a choice whether to attend or not. If it were me, I would choose not to attend large gatherings despite being double vaxxed anyway, it just isn’t worth the risk.

Yeah tbh I’m starting to rethink the whole thing and may cancel it I feel bad but I just feel quite worried because there would be so many different people there who aren’t vaccinated, people who work and live in different areas and I’d just feel so bad if anyone caught covid. I do think the lateral flow testing is a good idea but for some reason I really don’t trust my partners family at all they’re the type to say they’ve tested negative when they haven’t even done a test!

 

[Sheabutter]

Hi everyone, sorry I need to vent about my dog. It sounds silly even just writing that but I cry at least 2x a week about this.

We got a rescue pup in April this year. He was 4 months old and we were so excited. It was a bit of an unusual rescue situation because he basically came from a puppy farm so the rescue rescued him and his litter mates when he was 8 weeks old and then he was in a rescue shelter until he was 4 months, then he came over to the UK from Spain.

The fact he was from a puppy farm should have been the first red flag and I will wholeheartedly admit I went into this naively. The rescue didn’t tell us it was a puppy farm per se, and it is only reading between the lines that I now realise that that’s what it was.

It’s mine and my boyfriends first dog together although we have grown up with dogs and it is just not what I pictured it to be like.

I see a lot of posts on other forums that I follow saying I love my dog, he is the best dog ever even though he has XYZ problems. I just don’t feel that way about our dog. Before people tell me I’m a horrible person, believe me I already know it. He can be very sweet inside our house with just me and my boyfriend but he hates strangers with a passion. He has bitten 4 times, the last time drawing blood. We are working with a behaviourist and had the initial consultation but not got our proper appointment for a few months. The behaviourist said he is likely not socialised and this has led to fear of strangers. I just can’t see how it can better. I don’t believe it can get better. He barks at me in the house, not all the time but when he does it scares me a bit. He air snaps and my boyfriend says he has always done this and it’s just becuase he’s excited but it still scares me.

It has been manageable up until now but he has either regressed or is (hopefully) only going through a phase but I can’t even take him out for a walk unless it is to a really quiet place, otherwise if any person walks by us he lunges and does a really aggressive bark. It scares me. We are muzzle training him but it’s still not ideal. I don’t like the dog he is growing up to be.

I’m venting here becuase I don’t feel like my boyfriend is even taking it very seriously. I do the primary caregiving which is fine, I knew that would be the case, but my boyfriend basically leaves me and the dog to go camping 1-2 weekends a month. It would be fine if I got a break in return but I don’t. He also doesn’t seem to be taking what the behaviourist said seriously. He wasn’t at the initial consultation but he hasn’t even watched the recording of it she made for us. When I ask him to do the training the way she told us to, he does it for a couple of times then reverts back to what he was doing. I can’t tell him how I feel about our dog without what feels like him brushing it off. He says we just need to give him the best life we can which is sweet but I feel like I can’t tell him I don’t think I’m up to it. If someone else would take our dig I would probably do it. Me and boyfriend are still young and we got the dog to take with us on walks, to take to pubs, to take away for weekends places plus do what we used to do. I don’t see how we can leave the dog in the future to ever go on holiday again. I know I’m being selfish but when we got him, the plan was to leave him with family or at kennels but becuase he has bitten I don’t think this is possible.

I think my expectations were just too high but I’m just sad that it’s not turned out like this. Our dog was going with a dog walker 2 x a week but he can’t even do that anymore becuase (a) he is a teenager and is basically doing what teenage dogs do, which I could cope with becuase he’ll grow out of it and (b) I don’t trust anyone else to walk him just now. This means when I go back to the office I’ll have no one to walk him and I can only realistically come home for 30 mins at lunch, so I feel bad he’s not going to get the attention he needs.

If I tell anyone else how I feel they say he’s a puppy he’ll grow out of it. I don’t think he will and it’s my own fault it’s like this. I regret getting him.

I felt terrible about the way my dog behaved and blamed myself. Then I started noticing other dogs of his breed in my neighborhood behaving the exact same way. Some breeds have a certain temperament. The dog training is really for owners. If your boyfriend wants to keep the dog he should get involved with training.

 

[bolimepipi]

my sleep and anxiety have been slowly getting worse and today my leg tremors are back really bad.

thank you for the kind response and i'm sorry to hear you're struggling! i hope you can smush your cat soon
i also have leg tremors - has anyone explained it to you? i was told i have restless leg syndrome and was given prescription medicine for parkinsons but i stopped taking it after a while because i didn't want to depend on them :/

 

[Raininvain]

Why are you asking to see proof of address?! When you say your are making sure someone has the right qualifications what are you looking for?
A time served joiner/carpenter will be able to sort you joists for you. That’s literally what they do for a living. A good carpenter will cost you at least £250 for a days work.

Because I've been screwed over before by a tradesperson who then went onto threaten me into having an overpriced job done which I refused to do. I've had people before to do basic jobs that they haven't been able to do full stop and I don't want to be thousands out of pocket and have the bathroom collapse. An old neighbour of mine set himself up as a builder and had no qualifications, then he went round screwing loads of elderly people out of thousands for botched jobs. When they complained he threatened to put their windows through etc. I just want the job doing properly, to pay the going rate and not have any issues etc.

 

[jarv]

Not really much of a vent but more of a looking for advice post as friends are telling me opposite things. Has anyone ever confronted the other woman?

I’m currently pregnant but split up with the baby’s dad about a month ago. We had been trying to sort things out, still speaking, sleeping together etc but he has now moved in with another woman but wants to continue sleeping with me as if I am the other woman and not the opposite way around! I won’t be taking him up on that offer but feel that his new girlfriend deserves to know what she is getting herself into. Am I wrong for wanting to message her to let her know that he is willing to cheat on her so soon into the relationship? I assume they were seeing each other whilst I was still together with my ex, so he actually cheated on me with her. Would I be playing with fire if I made her aware?

I think the question you need to ask yourself is what do you gain from telling her? Is it going to make you feel better? If you're doing it for a reaction from him or her then I wouldn't do it and just move on and focus on you and your baby

 

[Sheabutter]

My grandfather fell again but this time in the vegetable garden. It was 2 a.m. before he was able to reach his smart watch and call for help. I feel so out of control and wish there was something I could say or do in this situation. I hate thinking of him lying there.

My mother sent out a group text prior to the weekly phone call and she’s informed us that she’s been staying with my grandfather since Wednesday. She doesn’t get on with him so I am sure she views this as something heroic on her part. I offered to move in with him two months ago — all I asked was that she introduce the idea to him first before I brought it up so he would not reject it out of hand. He gets stuck in his ways but if my mother suggests an idea he will normally adopt it. It’s a completely different story when it comes from me — the youngest in the entire family.
She shouldn’t be the one there. She treats sick people as a proxy for her gaining attention. She did this a few years ago when I was sick and she did the same during lockdown when her father fell for the first time.
She even started an email chain at that time with me and my two brothers SO’s — which was odd because neither of them are involved in the day to day affairs of my family — to keep us updated on the situation but it became quickly about her and what a martyr she is. My mother’s brand of care is honestly horrifying. I wish I put myself out there two months ago. I’m just angry and depressed now.

ETA: If it sounds like my spirit is a little broken it is. I am dealing with the woman who offered to give me a ride to the train station on my first day of work in an adult job only to pull the car to a full stop at a green light. She is a different type of person.

 

[Melian]

Its great when you've changed gp surgery because no one believes you have asthma which i was diagnosed with in 2014. My current surgery are doing the same. And won't do anything until. I see the consultant, whenever that will be.