Support for anyone that needs to vent

[PiesAndLattes]

So my partner ended our ten year relationship over the phone, whilst in another state that I can’t get to due to COVID restrictions in Australia. I just feel so lost and helpless. I have been in lockdown for 8 weeks and my mental health was suffering already before he dropped this on me I don’t know how to get up each day and try and continue on with life.

 

[Purrrrrrr]

I hate it when you read a post and feel sorry for them and then someone else says their a troll feel silly for feeling sorry for them

People have spent many many hours trying to help this person. Troll, I don't think so, but won't take any advice at all. and as soon as you question them you become the bad guy and they will wish you dead, then come back say sorry rinse and repeat. They change their story enough so you won't recognise them right away but it never lasts long.

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

Really PETTY vent.

Went out to a Turkish restaurant yesterday with the inlaws. Btw we paid for them as a treat.
We ordered loads of food but you get really nice bread and dip with some olives free as an appetiser.
There was loads of bread. Anyway my MIL went straight for the olives and ate them all. Like didn’t even let her fork leave the bowl so I could have one. Which was ok as I’m not a huge fan but I did fancy one.

But what really pissed me off was everybody got stuck into their starters but I was enjoying the bread and aioli more so took another a slice. My MIL then reached over and took all the left over slices and put them on her plate saying “I’ll have that for dinner tonight”

Like WTF?!?! I’m still eating the bread. It’s obvious I’m still enjoying it! Really pissed me off.
I’m still annoyed about it

 

[Gina32]

Hi Gina. So sorry to hear this.
I too suffer with anxiety. Tbh, these lockdowns have been good(ish) for me. I can work from home and not go out or see people much. I too lie awake at night just..... in a ball or anxiousness. Ive been on anti depressants for years, with the odd Xanax thrown in. I've good days and bad days.
Sending you big hugs @Gina32 xx

Thanks for responding, sometimes when ur awake in the middle of the night it feels like everyone else in the world is sleeping! Which is daft I know.. I think I eye rolled for so long at people online who had “anxiety” (ie influencers) with the term used very loosely and then when it suddenly hit me like a tonne of bricks and I was in an ambulance sure I was dying, only to be told it was a panic attack I was so embarrassed. I know it’s nothing to be ashamed of but I felt weak. I was then put on medication for 2 years and came off them 10 months ago at the start of lockdown because I thought being home would be the ideal time to do it. And so far so good bar the odd night like tonight where I feel impending doom.... I am enjoying a lot of things about lockdown too to be honest. But do miss seeing people at the same time. Mixed bag of emotions about it all really. Sorry about the essay. Going to try and listen to a meditation and get some sleep and will prob meet u on here again. Hope you sleep well Xx

 

[littlepup]

Another one here that's not sleeping so good.. thanks to possible depression and anxiety. I say possible because I've not actually been diagnosed and too scared to contact my doctor but all signs point to it being those things as I've been there before.
I just hope one day I'll get over this again.

We know we can’t talk/think/hope our way out of how our body deals with insulin, if we were diabetic, we would seek medical help.
We should apply the same logic to depression whether it’s a chemical imbalance or caused by trauma.
Please see your doctor. If it’s an imbalance of serotonin and noradrenaline is an easy solution.
If it’s trauma, it’s much more difficult of course but they can refer you for help there too.
You wouldn’t try to wish your way out of a broken leg and depression and/or anxiety should be just the same. Somethings broken, we need help to fix it.
Sleeplessness breeds anxiety and depression, we can’t function correctly, it’s a vicious circle. The doctor can help you with this too. Please, please don’t be scared. You absolutely don’t have to feel this way.

 

[nbt]

MD is spinning in her Tattle grave

If this is MD back I’ll be secretly pleased, not gonna lie.

I’ve missed that alcoholic, bean flicking, South African lesbian!

 

[ChampagneBox]

Sat here in the dark realising how lonely I am. I think I'm too lonely to even be able to sleep. Just thinking about how shit things have gotten, how did we get to this point, a year in lockdown? I literally have no one. Lockdowns got me ruminating over my past and I don’t even want to see my parents any more. I have like 2 friends and no desire to make new ones, the other friends I used to have fucked their chances of friendship by treating me like shit. Nothing stimulates my brain anymore, every day is the same day in day out and yes it’s up to me to get out and go for a walk but to where? For what purpose? Just finished binge watching a tv show for the first time and now it’s over I’m flat, depressed, lost. Not looking for advice as such, just want to tell another person how sad I am dreading waking up tomorrow to do the same job with the same inane conversations, the same boring work...every morning for the last few months the first few seconds after waking I’m not in my body, I almost forget where and who I am. Not sure when it got this bad, I thought I was coping okay and then Christmas came which was the first holiday time off I had all year last year, but we had COVID and some other stuff went on and it was horrific. I don’t think I’ve been right since, but then again I haven’t been right since 2018. I haven’t genuinely laughed or been genuinely happy since 2018...everything is scary, everything is a challenge, everything is serious and I don’t know how to loosen up.

 

[TheGlossy]

Do you ever get bored and sick of your life?

I'm not suicidal or anything, but I'm sick of things right now. Got a lot on at work and have uni deadlines, so I'm always working. The only time I'd have proper breaks was when dating but that has ended and I'm in no position to start with someone new

I just need some escapism and a right good moan

Although I wouldn't say I'm sick of my life per se as I feel very grateful given the current circumstances, I feel a bit stuck in a rut these days.

Every single day is the exact same rinse and repeat. Nothing exciting happens.

I don't meet any new people, don't go on dates, holding off on traveling and even the movies in the theater are absolutely vile. My outlets outside of work are pretty limited because certain things are still closed in Ireland (running & nature help, but not enough sometimes).

Life doesn't inspire me much anymore. I'm on auto-pilot at the moment.

 

[sweetbabymango]

I know how you feel. It's an awful feeling being left out. I'm going through the same heartbreak with the exception that I don't work with them anymore so it's much easier to be left out as I no longer see and talk to them on a daily and have no idea what they're up to. It makes me so sad to even think about how many hours they spend together everyday whilst I spend hours on end by myself with no one constantly messaging me or sharing a joke or two. They've spent the entire summer meeting up weekly and I've only met up with them twice, one of which was with a much larger group and because I'm not that close with the others, I was quieter so they basically rejected me with the excuse that I probably didn't feel comfortable hanging out whilst in the company of their friends. They never invited me again and I know about their many outings because I was (still am lol) in their group chat. We used to be so incredibly close and it made me so happy to finally have people I liked and connected to. One coworker used to be so jealous of our closeness and now she's fully apart of the group. It's like she's taken my place and I feel almost betrayed mostly because I know she has other close friends outside of work whilst I have none. It's even sadder because I had feelings for a coworker and I'm positive they were reciprocated at some point. We were really good friends for about a year but it went downhill when I changed jobs. We used to talk all the time, day and night, and used to meet up even during lockdown. Last week he messaged to wish me luck on a new project I started at work but that's about it. It's clear he's moved on and is no longer interested in me. Now the only person I somewhat got along with at my new job has left too so I'm on my own again. I'm honestly tired. It's an accumulation of past problems and childhood issues that's making it difficult for me to move on from yet another failure.

I've written on this thread before so sorry if I'm being repetitive but it's so comforting and nice to write it down for complete strangers to relate to and perhaps feel less alone. I don't expect advice just to be listened. Some days it's these exact threads and basically tattle (and the lovely tattlers of course!!) that get me through the day! Thank you

 

[Bogwoppit]

Hi, I feel like absolute crap at the moment, split with husband, he is seeing someone we both work with, I feel angry, mad, disappointed the lot, come home hide from my kids & cry, although I didn’t cry yesterday which is an achievement in itself, I feel fat, ugly, worthless & feel no one else will ever want me ever again, we had been together nearly 25 yrs, it’s hard seeing him with someone else & I just get in an empty bed night after night, but I do realise one thing & that he was so controlling, put me down & absolutely shattered my confidence. I dread going to work but I know I need to for my kids to keep a roof over their heads & prove I’m a good mum to them!

Sorry for the rant xx

 

[Caramel Latte]

I was out with my family and omw home I witnessed a girl getting sexually assaulted by a guy in the street. It happened too quickly and i was in the car with closed windows and i feel so guilty for not doing anything.

Honestly, i hope these parasites die as they clearly don't deserve to live like humans. Disgusting

 

[BettyCrockerr]

I hate it when you read a post and feel sorry for them and then someone else says their a troll feel silly for feeling sorry for them

He’s not a troll per se but he is a complete fantasist
And likes the attention he gets by making up
These stories and gaining peoples sympathy. Very weird behaviour. The funniest was when he was posting pretending to be a girl when you could see from his other posts on other threads that he’s a gay man…!

 

[Bexybest]

I saw the title of this thread and after being sat staring at my four walls for the past hour thought it might be a good place to get some words of support… I’ve typed it all out and maybe I just needed to share it as no one knows and it feels like a huge weight I’m carrying

So after a tough lockdown last year I discovered my boyfriend (35 years old !) of 2 years at the time (November) had been sexting other girls, liking their photos, messaging them flirty messages etc. We talked, I forgave him.

Since then I’ve had minimal effort from him, he’s always on his phone etc. Two weeks ago
I discovered he’s been flirting again on his Instagram DM,s and sending the fire emoji out to girls he follows… (younger, pretty, “Instagram” type girls - big lips etc). Im hidden from any social media so he probably appears single to them.

ive not confronted him this time as Im done with being disrespected. Ive been saving up for a house deposit since it happened the first time as I live With him (his house) and I knew i needed a backup should it happen again. Ive seen a property and I’m one step away from a mortgage offer, ive done this all on my own! It should be such a proud, exciting moment but I feel very guilty doing this behind his back but for once I need to look out for me.

it’s very hard being here in the interim, knowing the house ive seen isn’t ready until October, biting my tongue when he is cocky or rude to me. I know I won’t / can’t stick it out with a brave face until then and ultimately need to find something temporary.

I shouldn’t be so nice and consider his feelings (it’s just who I am!) but i Don’t feel fair on him being here when I could just let him move on. Feel like I’m using him a bit… guess that’s where I have a conscious and he doesn’t.

Dragging this weight around for the past week or
So has been hard, on top of the initial dishonestly last year. Feeling very unmotivated to exercise and enjoy life with my mind on overdrive, getting little sleep or inner peace.

I believe we’re all a path and it’ll work out one way or another, just hard sometimes when your in the situation.

A few years back I was with a waste of space and we lived in a rented house. He was vile and I felt trapped. I ended up reserving a new build house and went through the process for 3 months until exchange, without telling him a thing. I also got a new job near the house which I told him I didn't get. I'd never lied before but he'd pushed me to the edge.

Literally a week before exchange I dropped the bombshell that I was off and had decided to buy a house. I can't tell you the relief I felt!!

 

[LittleMy]

I’m worried about my son who will be 6 at the end of the month. For context, he is autistic and has speech and language delays - although these have improved a lot with SLT and with time. He’s very clever for his age and attends a mainstream primary school. He does appear to manage well and enjoy school but will often come out at the end of the day crying due to tiredness. He also “has” to win - everything is a competition to him, and I mean everything. If he’s not first to do something then he’ll throw himself around and cry about it for ages. My main concern however is that I’ve noticed that when he doesn’t get his way he’ll try to hurt himself by biting his arms and hitting his face, but most concerning are the things that he’s started saying.

Last night when I was telling him it was time for bed he told me he would kill himself. He’s said he’ll hurt himself in the past and once even said he would kill me with a knife (he didn’t mean it and he apologised afterwards and cried saying that he loved me). A part of me thinks he’s just being over-dramatic and doesn’t really mean these things or understand how bad it sounds, but as you can imagine it’s also really upsetting to hear that from your child. I spent last night crying my eyes out over it after he calmed down and went to sleep but I don’t even know where he picked up talk like that from. I don’t know if he’s frustrated and angry and it’s just word vomit because he’s struggling in the moment to express how he feels, or if he really does want to hurt himself. I’m just at a loss really.

 

[Hope96]

Going to keep it short and sweet but I just feel like I'll never be happy. It's always been one struggle after another for so many years. No matter what I do it's never good enough for others or isn't enough to make things better. I just feel like giving up. I'm so fed up of crying over people who don't care about me but I can't stop. I've been feeling so bad about myself this weekend and the one person I want to speak to I can't because he doesn't give a shit about me. I just feel so lost and don't know how to move forward.

 

[TheGlossy]

I'm honestly annoyed at people texting you: "Hey, how are you? Did you manage to get that doctor's appointment?" and when you respond, you don't hear from them at all anymore.

On another note, I feel completely cheated by the Universe. I had no friends growing up (mainly because I was not allowed to) and was bullied in school. I was pretty much a loner. In college, I was focused on studying, so didn't really work on developing strong friendships. When I started working, things slowly improved and culminated in 2019. I had such a great social life, was constantly invited to places, always someone hitting me up with a text or request to catch-up, made tons of great connections through my new job at the time and social life was amazing in that company. It was almost too much, but I enjoyed it. I met a few guys, but didn't pan out, no biggie.

Fast forward, COVID hit and obviously, everyone's social life was severely halted. Now, I can count on my hands the few people I'm still in touch with and I could go two weeks without talking to anyone at my new company (changed companies since). Whilst I'm incredibly grateful to have a job, I've never felt as isolated as when I joined this company. I live on my own, which I absolutely love, but because I have zero interactions with my not so nice coworkers, I feel quite isolated. The lockdown washed away certain "friendships" that weren't that solid to begin with, which I'm not too fussed about. I simply feel like a lonely loser on certain days, especially when the only person who pings me is some annoying person at work who thinks we're friends when we're not (he killed my projects and doesn't have a clue what he's doing).

The truth is, I'm 31, still single, pinning over some crush from two years ago, not in touch with my immediate family, limited friendships, isolated at work in a junior role after 6 years of hard work and 5 years of undergraduate + graduate studies. I somehow feel like I missed a turn somewhere and COVID has simply killed any chance of me ever having a healthy social life. Loneliness seems to be written all over my destiny. Sometimes I go to bed and wish I could go back to 2019 just for a day (minus the roommates please).

I don't know if I'm slowly getting depressed, but I sometimes I wish I could simply start a brand new life somewhere far, like Australia.

Apologies for oversharing.

 

[cherryfcuk]

I work in fashion retail part time as I want to get into the fashion industry. Earlier this week my boss and the assistant manager had my one month review, and I got really up set(started crying) as these two women ganging up on me basically saying I'm not doing good enough?!

I'm more than qualified to work in a shop (I day trade so I'm not desperate for the money I took the job to get may feet wet) any way my boss has been on holiday for 2 weeks so I can't even believe she had the audacity to say 'oh I'm not enthusiastic enough in my job? like wtf she hasn't been there and the customer love me I'm a bit more mature than the average person there being 30 and always get complimented on my style. Oh and I dont ask for help (I do know my stuff a fir bit in fashion as I love it already)
I was late because of the tube and a passenger getting sick and they basically told me to apologies even though it was out of my control. people there treat you like a child, and they are all power hungry underpaid people stuck in the system.

I think I am going to quit. I was meant to be in today but I called in sick. I don't want to go to a place that give me more grief than I need in my life. Or be bullied by these two women its not fair.

 

[Dogtanian]

Yesterday was the birthday of a friend of mine, it was also the anniversary of her death.
A few years ago, she went out with her partner to have birthday drinks, he decided to drive home drunk afterwards.
They got home in the early morning and she was guiding his car into a parking space. From what I gather, she slipped over drunk and he ended up reversing over her head. The autopsy believed that he actually ended up driving forwards and hitting her again before finally reversing and resting the car on top of her.
He then went inside pissed as a fart and went to sleep, her body was discovered a few hours later. The police were called and because her partner was so drunk and out of it, didn't wake up until the morning afterwards. He was arrested and found to be still 2.5 hours over the limit and this is a good 6-8 hours after it happened. As far as I'm aware he was never prosecuted for the death due to a lack of evidence although he did admit to driving home drunk.
Part of me wants to go around to her old house and remove the bastards teeth with a claw hammer - but I don't even know if he still lives there. It just pisses me off that she never got the justice she deserved and I do miss talking to her on FB. Just general chat about her day and what she was up to and how she was trying to get a new job. It's just the general mundane things which you miss the most.
We were very briefly together when I was 18 and she was 21 at the time - it never really developed much further but we remained friends. You don't have to reply to this, I'm just venting into the abyss of the internet.

 

[Bitofthebubbly]

Can’t sleep and I’m crying because I don’t feel like I’m a very good mum to my children and I feel they deserve so much more. One of my kids called me lazy today (yesterday now I suppose) and it really hurt my feelings. Like, that is what my kid thinks of me, that I am lazy even though I do all this endless shit for them every day including shitting home school which I hate. Ok cool. I just feel like crap and like my kids think I’m crap. They’re gonna look back and see someone who was so useless. I just have no confidence or anything. Feel like everyone looks down on me because I’ve been a sahm for so long now, but they have no idea what I go through on a daily basis with my mental health. I wish I could sleep but every time I turn my phone off and try I have to fight with my own mind just to stop the silly negative thoughts and worry. I honestly feel like I don’t belong in this world sometimes, I’m not saying I am suicidal but I’ve just always struggled and found life to be a bit of a slog, things everyone else seem to do easily I struggle with, I guess maybe I am just lazy. Hoping typing all this helps me sleep at least.

 

[lozzapaloozza]

Anyone else just struggling to find the motivation to get out of bed? I’ve been on furlough from work due to Covid-19. I’ve cleaned and organised every single nook and cranny in my house and there is literally nothing to do. I have hobbies I could do or go for a walk but I just have no energy at this point to do them