OnlyHereForTheLolz
VIP Member
Wow! Your brilliant one line sentence has cured her anxiety
why did she never think of that
- Notice
why did she never think of that
Raininvain
VIP Member
Just had a right shock, I was reading through the BBC article about the woman that fell from Arthurs seat and her husband has been charged with murder. I looked at the photo's and looked again and I know her. I worked with her a decade or so ago and what a nice person she was.
he eldndnoe
Member
Hi al, I hope you don’t mind me jumping on here. After months of feeling fed up, today I just cracked. I am a full time working mum (FE teacher so workload is insane, especially at this time of the year) my youngest doesn’t sleep and my partner doesn’t help. He’ll come in from work, sit on his phone and moan when I ask him to take our youngest to bed. Anyway, today I took my eldest out shopping and came home to him moaning that our little one hadn’t stopped crying etc. I then find out he hadn’t fed him (was 11am by now) and my little one was hungry so I snapped at him about that. I then asked him to make some lunch to take out as I was heading off to meet a friend with the kids, looked inside the lunch boxes and he had filled my little ones with junk and no sandwiches. I asked him what on earth he was thinking not putting any fruit and sandwhiches in etc, to which he replied by screaming at me in front of my neighbours calling me a see you next Tuesday and getting into his friends car to rugby (as he does every Saturday, leaves at 12 and doesn’t get back till 7pm) and told me he wasn’t coming back.
It was my little ones first ever hair cut today and he hasn’t even text to see how it went - his phone is off.
sorry for the large rant - just needed to get it off my chest how fed up I am! Really feel like a single parent and I’ve had enough.
It was my little ones first ever hair cut today and he hasn’t even text to see how it went - his phone is off.
sorry for the large rant - just needed to get it off my chest how fed up I am! Really feel like a single parent and I’ve had enough.
WeepingCassandra
VIP Member
My friends lost her baby. I’m heart broken for her. Trouble with being an empath, you feel everyone’s pain 
WilmaHun
VIP Member
I've been really unwell this weekend and had to go to hospital. I spoke to one of my friends in detail about it. She responded with "you've bought this on yourself because you allow yourself to get stressed out all the time". Deep down I know she probably meant it as in a sort of "you need to look after yourself" kind of way, but the way it came across is that it's my fault, like I wanted this to happen
SophSpinsSillyStories
Chatty Member
Hugely long and complicated story……
Basically five weeks ago, my Dad tried to commit suicide after a significant bout of depression.
Having previous experiences of depression myself, I feel for him - but I was 36 weeks pregnant at the time and felt pretty hurt (perhaps selfishly) by it all and didn’t feel like I could rush to his side.
My older brother instead took control for the first couple of days. He decided that my mum shouldn’t be at home when my dad came home from hospital (he took an overdose of her insulin), packed her car up with most of her belongings and sent her to my house.
She’s been living with us ever since.
She’s taken over my house, has assumed a motherly role of my 2 year old (even describing herself as ‘mummy’ to him) and has basically left me feeling like a prisoner in my own home.
I’d saved up to take a few weeks off before our baby arrived but I’ve had little chance to do the relaxing that I’d planned for and have spent much of it acting as a counsellor to her and being a go between with her and my dad. This will be our last baby, so I’ll never have the chance to do this again.
She eats us out of house and home and puts the washer on three half loads per day. All my stuff is in boxes as I’ve had to clear out our spare room for her and she’s incapable of doing even the slightest things (such as going to the shop) herself. It’s got to the point where I don’t want to even look at her, where I’m angry with my dad for his actions and I’m furious with my brother for just making it my problem and getting on with his life (I’ve asked him for help and I’ve got none).
I’m now overdue and I’m waiting to be induced. I have absolutely zero oxytocin as I’m so stressed out so I know I have no chance of having this baby without assistance.
I know I need to support my mum and be there for her, but I feel like I’ve been taken for granted and not one person has considered the effect that having a literal shadow following my every move is having on me.
I’ve finally lost my shit and asked her to leave this evening and now I feel like a total arsehole. I’m literally devastated that I’ve been put in this position.
Basically five weeks ago, my Dad tried to commit suicide after a significant bout of depression.
Having previous experiences of depression myself, I feel for him - but I was 36 weeks pregnant at the time and felt pretty hurt (perhaps selfishly) by it all and didn’t feel like I could rush to his side.
My older brother instead took control for the first couple of days. He decided that my mum shouldn’t be at home when my dad came home from hospital (he took an overdose of her insulin), packed her car up with most of her belongings and sent her to my house.
She’s been living with us ever since.
She’s taken over my house, has assumed a motherly role of my 2 year old (even describing herself as ‘mummy’ to him) and has basically left me feeling like a prisoner in my own home.
I’d saved up to take a few weeks off before our baby arrived but I’ve had little chance to do the relaxing that I’d planned for and have spent much of it acting as a counsellor to her and being a go between with her and my dad. This will be our last baby, so I’ll never have the chance to do this again.
She eats us out of house and home and puts the washer on three half loads per day. All my stuff is in boxes as I’ve had to clear out our spare room for her and she’s incapable of doing even the slightest things (such as going to the shop) herself. It’s got to the point where I don’t want to even look at her, where I’m angry with my dad for his actions and I’m furious with my brother for just making it my problem and getting on with his life (I’ve asked him for help and I’ve got none).
I’m now overdue and I’m waiting to be induced. I have absolutely zero oxytocin as I’m so stressed out so I know I have no chance of having this baby without assistance.
I know I need to support my mum and be there for her, but I feel like I’ve been taken for granted and not one person has considered the effect that having a literal shadow following my every move is having on me.
I’ve finally lost my shit and asked her to leave this evening and now I feel like a total arsehole. I’m literally devastated that I’ve been put in this position.
Sailorontheseasea
VIP Member
Definitely shouting into the void here but social media and having young (or any!) kids is just too much around this kind of year. The Halloween/fireworks night/Christmas hysteria makes the pressure of pleasing your kids almost too much to bare to the point where you end up just miserable even though your kids would literally be happy with anything especially when they’re younger. Really struggling this year especially with still recovering financially from furlough (as many people are!), and we’ve got a new (very planned) baby on the way and in my stupidity and probably naivety I thought everything would be ok with all of it by this point but the reality is much different. Our savings pot is non existent due to lots of unexpected payouts recently which is just so shit. Think I’m going to have to just delete instagram for the next few months, my mental health is taking a very big nose dive. I so want to be excited by all of it and our lovely new baby on the way but I just feel so fucking stressed and almost envious of people who can drop money on shit whenever they like and on whatever they like. Vent over.
WilmaHun
VIP Member
I don't even know why I'm posting this but I need to let it out. I can't shake the feeling that I'm not where I'm supposed to be in life. I've got a lot going on at the moment, some of it is really exciting, but I still feel like something is missing. I try to talk to my partner about it and he understands but nothing ever changes. We've been together such a long time, but it feels like we're at a standstill. I've constantly got friends/family reminding me that they were engaged or even married by this point in their relationship. They say it in a lighthearted way but I don't think they realise it hurts. It damages my confidence and I'm constantly questioning "what's so wrong with me that I can't have what they had"
WilmaHun
VIP Member
I feel like I'm at a point in my life where it's almost impossible to make friends. It seems like everyone has their close knit groups and it's hard to become close to people. I have a few good friends, but because I don't drink I often get left out of their plans, they just assume I won't be interested so don't bother asking - even if they're just going for a meal. It makes me think like I'm on the outskirts of a friendship group and they're all not bothered whether I'm about or not. My closest friend is a diamond, but her boyfriend is best mates with my partner, so we only ever do things as a group. Don't get me wrong, it's lovely double dating but it'd be nice to spend some time without our partners too (unless that makes me sound awful?). I really value her friendship and I hope she values mine, but I feel like our friendship relies on our partners if that makes sense.
I'm one of those people who is quite shy until I become comfortable around people, so it is hard for me to make friends. I've got low self esteem too so I constantly feel like I'm being bitched about. Probably my own worst enemy in that respect.
It's been getting me down for so long, I have people around me and yet I still feel alone.
I'm one of those people who is quite shy until I become comfortable around people, so it is hard for me to make friends. I've got low self esteem too so I constantly feel like I'm being bitched about. Probably my own worst enemy in that respect.
It's been getting me down for so long, I have people around me and yet I still feel alone.
Penguin86
VIP Member
Yeah we got hit by a drunk driver side on. I was in a coma for months and spent best part of a year in hospital.
Yeah I still feel it most days. It's quite depressing that they've been dead longer than I knew them (i was 15 when they died)20 years ago seems like so long ago but for you I'm sure it just feels like yesterday.
We are here for you, share your memories or your feelings whenever you need to
We won't be able to help but we will want to listen to whatever you need to say x
WilmaHun
VIP Member
I tried to do something nice for somebody and she's somehow taken offence. Apparently I only do these things to make myself feel better! I don't care about how the other person feels it's all about self gratification! Who knew sending a friend a gift to cheer her up could cause a falling out
Moolo
Well-known member
This thread is such a good idea - im having the worst time at the moment and im really struggling to cope. I know so many other people are just going through such awfulness as well. My mother in law on a ventilator and everyday is just waiting for news - my anxiety has peaked at an all time high to the point where im now panicking about the panic itself. Everything is awful and I hate it 
Im sorry for everyone else having a tough time as well xx
Im sorry for everyone else having a tough time as well xx
didn't want to join
VIP Member
I've noticed a few people on here and other threads, who are really struggling, feeling deflated/broken and sad in their current position at work.
When you are in that place, you can't relax, you can't switch off and you defo don't really live. All you live and breath is dreading the following day back in there once again.
So it can be really hard to find the energy or time to even consider applying elsewhere. You start to wonder will it be different there? Is this how it's always going to be? and you can actually talk yourself out of it. Mix that with work colleagues telling you most days (and helping you to feel most days) that you aren't worth much and you are useless and you have the perfect storm to take away not only your self confidence, but your self belief.
When others then say the simple enough sentence "apply for a new job", it's not so much stating the obvious, it's actually like an inner voice talking to you from outside. You know in your heart that you must move on, but having been so battered mentally by those around you, on a daily basis, you can lose the ability, will power and just belief that you are a commodity worth having elsewhere.
What is one person's trash, is another person's treasure and I can tell you as an older person, who suffered and endured crappy jobs and teams around me, that every day you sit and tolerate that barrage of abuse, it chips away at you, your heart and your soul.
Once you make steps to rescue and remove yourself from that horrible situation, you will feel a little calmer, happier and easier on yourself. Right now, many companies are desperate for new staff.
Find some Recruitment Agencies who cover your field of work (like legal, project managers, etc) and get your CV up to date, focus on your positives, things you know you do really well and make them your keywords that stand out.
Send it to all the Agencies (not just one) and let them know, you already have a job, but would like to "further your career" "expand your horizons and knowledge base" "have room to grow and achieve" - slap a few quid extra on your current salary (oh gowan then, another £10K per annum) and see what comes offered back to you.
Every interview gives you confidence, let's you practice, so don't view any as a waste of time. Oddly, you may even find a cracking unexpected job offer lands right in your lap.
I know from what you've posted @TheGlossy that you work long hours (so you are dedicated) you are concerned about the product (so you care) and that you give your all, even though you aren't receiving as much back. That makes you a desirable commodity in the work industry.
Find your niche, find your place, it's not where you are, this is temporary and soon you'll be somewhere you need to be and will feel more settled.
When you are in that place, you can't relax, you can't switch off and you defo don't really live. All you live and breath is dreading the following day back in there once again.
So it can be really hard to find the energy or time to even consider applying elsewhere. You start to wonder will it be different there? Is this how it's always going to be? and you can actually talk yourself out of it. Mix that with work colleagues telling you most days (and helping you to feel most days) that you aren't worth much and you are useless and you have the perfect storm to take away not only your self confidence, but your self belief.
When others then say the simple enough sentence "apply for a new job", it's not so much stating the obvious, it's actually like an inner voice talking to you from outside. You know in your heart that you must move on, but having been so battered mentally by those around you, on a daily basis, you can lose the ability, will power and just belief that you are a commodity worth having elsewhere.
What is one person's trash, is another person's treasure and I can tell you as an older person, who suffered and endured crappy jobs and teams around me, that every day you sit and tolerate that barrage of abuse, it chips away at you, your heart and your soul.
Once you make steps to rescue and remove yourself from that horrible situation, you will feel a little calmer, happier and easier on yourself. Right now, many companies are desperate for new staff.
Find some Recruitment Agencies who cover your field of work (like legal, project managers, etc) and get your CV up to date, focus on your positives, things you know you do really well and make them your keywords that stand out.
Send it to all the Agencies (not just one) and let them know, you already have a job, but would like to "further your career" "expand your horizons and knowledge base" "have room to grow and achieve" - slap a few quid extra on your current salary (oh gowan then, another £10K per annum) and see what comes offered back to you.
Every interview gives you confidence, let's you practice, so don't view any as a waste of time. Oddly, you may even find a cracking unexpected job offer lands right in your lap.
I know from what you've posted @TheGlossy that you work long hours (so you are dedicated) you are concerned about the product (so you care) and that you give your all, even though you aren't receiving as much back. That makes you a desirable commodity in the work industry.
Find your niche, find your place, it's not where you are, this is temporary and soon you'll be somewhere you need to be and will feel more settled.
StrawberryCream
VIP Member
Isn’t this a support thread? lol
If people don’t agree what others post then just scroll past surely?
If people don’t agree what others post then just scroll past surely?
Meringue22
VIP Member
I’ve discovered my eldest is ‘chewing and spitting’. I found evidence in the bin. She denies it but I know it’s her as she’s lost so much weight. Our GP was shit and said due to her age (17) she’s an adult so I can’t force her to seek help. What do I do then? Let this develop into a full blown eating disorder?!
She’s away with her dad (my ex) and he’s bought food I know she’s sees as ‘bad’ food. The prick has actually said this evening what she’s doing isn’t a huge issue?! WTF? Fine. I‘ll deal with it alone then
She’s away with her dad (my ex) and he’s bought food I know she’s sees as ‘bad’ food. The prick has actually said this evening what she’s doing isn’t a huge issue?! WTF? Fine. I‘ll deal with it alone then
Am I the only one who is slowly getting disillusioned with adult life?
Growing up, I thought adult life would be fun and it was for a while. Then the pandemic hit and I realized adult life is just a case of rinse and repeat every single day when you remove the exciting bits (traveling, events, meeting people). Nothing exciting or thrilling. It seems after 30, most people fall into the same box: find a partner, move in together / get married, mortgage and the kids. Same pattern in different shapes. Everyone around me has fallen into this predictable life pattern. I'm not saying I don't want any of this because I do, but I find it a bit underwhelming. I don't know. I'm being weird today I think.
Growing up, I thought adult life would be fun and it was for a while. Then the pandemic hit and I realized adult life is just a case of rinse and repeat every single day when you remove the exciting bits (traveling, events, meeting people). Nothing exciting or thrilling. It seems after 30, most people fall into the same box: find a partner, move in together / get married, mortgage and the kids. Same pattern in different shapes. Everyone around me has fallen into this predictable life pattern. I'm not saying I don't want any of this because I do, but I find it a bit underwhelming. I don't know. I'm being weird today I think.
under the ivy
VIP Member
There’s been some ‘drama’ in a friendship group over the past few weeks and in recent days, it’s starting to affect my MH.
I’m not really sure why the drama happened or why some of us have fallen out. But it is still persisting and this is what I’m not willing to be part of or witness. I’ve always been a person to not take sides and avoid confrontation even though I’m very blunt and upfront. I don’t have time for petty drama between grown adults. It makes me sad sometimes because we had a laugh but I’ve seen a side to these people that makes me doubtful I ever had a friendship with them. I’m not looking for advice as such, as I don’t wish to continue or be part of any malicious or what I deem, pathetic, drama and behaviour. I guess I just needed to vent about it! I have a lot of things going on in my life, and to have this drama ongoing I find unnecessary.
I’m not really sure why the drama happened or why some of us have fallen out. But it is still persisting and this is what I’m not willing to be part of or witness. I’ve always been a person to not take sides and avoid confrontation even though I’m very blunt and upfront. I don’t have time for petty drama between grown adults. It makes me sad sometimes because we had a laugh but I’ve seen a side to these people that makes me doubtful I ever had a friendship with them. I’m not looking for advice as such, as I don’t wish to continue or be part of any malicious or what I deem, pathetic, drama and behaviour. I guess I just needed to vent about it! I have a lot of things going on in my life, and to have this drama ongoing I find unnecessary.
Being engaged doesn't mean being happy. We only see a tiny part of other people's life and often only the happiest moments. She surely has problems too, everyone does. Try not to compare yourself to her since probably you can only see her highest momentsI know In the grand scheme of things this doesn’t even matter but just found out my most vile bully from school is engaged…and I’m still not. So more convinced that ever something is wrong with me?? If someone like her can get engaged and I can’t what is it that’s wrong with me?? I don’t even need replies, just want to vent, can’t tell my boyfriend bc it’ll descend into another argument about getting married. I’m not a bad person, but not perfect either, but I just can’t catch a break with myself…no confidence, anxiety since I was 3, dysfunctional family and people who don’t deserve it like her are out here being happy getting engaged
bolimepipi
VIP Member
i just can't do this anymore, this whole covid situation is really getting to me, i don't see the end, i can't work from home anymore, i can't separate my own life from work life, i can't fulfill people's expectations anymore when i can barely find the motivation to get in the shower, i don't want to do anything and i'm bored of myself, i'm starting to feel like i'm not an interesting person anymore because i have nothing to say anymore, i'm finding it extremely difficult to be around people because i'm used to being home alone just with my bf and my cat... and i'm lashing out and my poor bf has to handle that, in the end the only one i can completely tolerate is my cat 
and it's not even a joke, i honestly feel like that. i just literally don't see the purpose of trying anymore
and it's not even a joke, i honestly feel like that. i just literally don't see the purpose of trying anymore
