Support for anyone that needs to vent

[Hope96]

Feeling so alone and I've tried reaching out to friends but it's falling on deaf ears. I miss my ex partner so very much but I can't just casually turn up to his or call him because it'll make things worse even though he said he will meet me once indoor hospitality goes ahead. I'm besides myself nearly 3 weeks later. I just don't know what to do. I'm off work until Thursday and I'm trying to keep myself busy but my mind is just consumed by it all. I am just mindlessly walking mile after mile everyday in the rain. I really do think I deserve how I am feeling because of my behaviour but I just want him here to hold me. Feeling very pathetic even typing this but it's exactly how I'm feeling.

 

[under the ivy]

I’m fed up of my friend and her bikini competition. I appreciate her dedication but it’s affecting our friendship and I have no one to talk to about it! She asks me what I’ve had for tea, I tell her, she goes ‘aren’t you lucky’. She lives in another part of the country and is travelling to our hometown next week for the show. She mentioned months ago we could go out for drinks/meal after her show so I said yeah I’d love that. Flash to today and she’s put on her IG that she’s made plans with other people. She hasn’t text me for a few days and it’s like she ditches me when I don’t give her the response she wants and goes off to other people.

It really affects my MH and makes me sad. We’ve been friends since university and I tell her everything, but I get nothing back.

 

[Yodabest]

Feeling so alone and I've tried reaching out to friends but it's falling on deaf ears. I miss my ex partner so very much but I can't just casually turn up to his or call him because it'll make things worse even though he said he will meet me once indoor hospitality goes ahead. I'm besides myself nearly 3 weeks later. I just don't know what to do. I'm off work until Thursday and I'm trying to keep myself busy but my mind is just consumed by it all. I am just mindlessly walking mile after mile everyday in the rain. I really do think I deserve how I am feeling because of my behaviour but I just want him here to hold me. Feeling very pathetic even typing this but it's exactly how I'm feeling.

I don't know your situation but my husband has decided he wants to be with someone else other than me and it's killing me. We have kids etc so it's very complicated. I know exactly how you feel though. I just want a hug from him even though he's said what he has.

 

[Hope96]

I don't know your situation but my husband has decided he wants to be with someone else other than me and it's killing me. We have kids etc so it's very complicated. I know exactly how you feel though. I just want a hug from him even though he's said what he has.

Your post really breaks my heart because I can't imagine how it feels when your husband of many years says this to you. I really hope you are doing ok as can be and aren't too harsh when it comes to yourself. My relationship with my partner of over 2 years over covid has been pretty dire and I really want to make a go of it but he isn't interested in doing that right now. I did a lot that I regret with every fibre of my body but whilst I was reaching for help he had made his mind up. He dumped most of my stuff outside the doorstep and I don't even hate him for it. My mum thinks I should message him about the drink but I'm just not emotionally ready for him to perhaps say no or for him to not reply back. He said he wants to be friends and stay on good terms but I'm not sure if that's because he doesn't want to hurt me or whether he means it. I feel like a fraction of myself since contracting covid because my fear of getting ill and being in and out of hospitals for the past 8-9 months has ruined who I was as a person and in the relationship. I don't know what to do. A few people, besides my mum, have said to message him about the drink but I just can't handle making things worse. It's horrible not being able to have that person console/comfort you isn't it. Please do let us know how you are and I will make sure I check in with you on here if I see you posting.

 

[Rockin' Robin]

I know you posted a couple of months ago so not too sure if you resolved the issue, if it is dealing with vulnerable people, you should have some safeguarding policy in place which tells you how to whistleblow if you have a problem with a senior member of staff. If you're not too sure of this you can contact your local authority and ask about whistleblowing procedures within the vulnerable cohort you work .

Thank you so much for your reply.
As far as I am aware, the person in question never mistreated anyone in her care, it was just me she seemed to target with her childish mind games. My concern was that she was in a position of trust, yet she was capable of bullying members of staff. The thing is, no other member of staff seemed to have any trouble with her. I kept silent because I didn't think anyone would believe me. Fortunately she left a few weeks ago, the working environment is a better place to work now she has gone.
However, I still seem to be having problems with another member of staff. She has been unfriendly towards me since the beginning, sometimes she has been hostile. It made some of the jobs I have to do, quite difficult because it involves communicating with her. You can't communicate with open hostility. It might be the generation gap, she is quite young and I'm much older.

 

[User name taken]

Thank you so much for your reply.
As far as I am aware, the person in question never mistreated anyone in her care, it was just me she seemed to target with her childish mind games. My concern was that she was in a position of trust, yet she was capable of bullying members of staff. The thing is, no other member of staff seemed to have any trouble with her. I kept silent because I didn't think anyone would believe me. Fortunately she left a few weeks ago, the working environment is a better place to work now she has gone.
However, I still seem to be having problems with another member of staff. She has been unfriendly towards me since the beginning, sometimes she has been hostile. It made some of the jobs I have to do, quite difficult because it involves communicating with her. You can't communicate with open hostility. It might be the generation gap, she is quite young and I'm much older.

Aaah that's good that she has moved on, it's hard work when work colleagues are a pain in the arse, I've had a couple like that in the past, I tend to kill them with kindness, not take them personally, it's hard going but makes them look like the witch, usually they get bored and move on hopefully this will be the case with your witch of a colleague.

 

[Hope96]

I hope everyone who is struggling is ok as can be. I saw this on social media and thought it was a nice reminder to be kind to ourselves. I like the last two bullet points a lot.

 

[curious truth seeker]

Just got to the point where Iam so tired
I try very hard to live a day at it comes but when I get mentally tired I default to anxiety and spend the majority of my day worrying about past and future
It drives me nuts, covid isn’t helping as like everyone Iam now starting to feel trapped, and then the pressure of running my own business and only having myself to rely on really doesn’t help either, I’ve managed to get myself in a proper knot
Iam grateful for what I have and I know other will be far worst off
But my headspace can be so cruel sometimes and I just can’t seem to shake it off at the mo

 

[Scorpihoe]

@Yodabest how are you doing lovely?

 

[K A Y L E I G H]

My mother in law is a witch

 

[curious truth seeker]

My mother is

 

[he eldndnoe]

Hi al, I hope you don’t mind me jumping on here. After months of feeling fed up, today I just cracked. I am a full time working mum (FE teacher so workload is insane, especially at this time of the year) my youngest doesn’t sleep and my partner doesn’t help. He’ll come in from work, sit on his phone and moan when I ask him to take our youngest to bed. Anyway, today I took my eldest out shopping and came home to him moaning that our little one hadn’t stopped crying etc. I then find out he hadn’t fed him (was 11am by now) and my little one was hungry so I snapped at him about that. I then asked him to make some lunch to take out as I was heading off to meet a friend with the kids, looked inside the lunch boxes and he had filled my little ones with junk and no sandwiches. I asked him what on earth he was thinking not putting any fruit and sandwhiches in etc, to which he replied by screaming at me in front of my neighbours calling me a see you next Tuesday and getting into his friends car to rugby (as he does every Saturday, leaves at 12 and doesn’t get back till 7pm) and told me he wasn’t coming back.
It was my little ones first ever hair cut today and he hasn’t even text to see how it went - his phone is off.

sorry for the large rant - just needed to get it off my chest how fed up I am! Really feel like a single parent and I’ve had enough.

 

[TikToc]

Hi al, I hope you don’t mind me jumping on here. After months of feeling fed up, today I just cracked. I am a full time working mum (FE teacher so workload is insane, especially at this time of the year) my youngest doesn’t sleep and my partner doesn’t help. He’ll come in from work, sit on his phone and moan when I ask him to take our youngest to bed. Anyway, today I took my eldest out shopping and came home to him moaning that our little one hadn’t stopped crying etc. I then find out he hadn’t fed him (was 11am by now) and my little one was hungry so I snapped at him about that. I then asked him to make some lunch to take out as I was heading off to meet a friend with the kids, looked inside the lunch boxes and he had filled my little ones with junk and no sandwiches. I asked him what on earth he was thinking not putting any fruit and sandwhiches in etc, to which he replied by screaming at me in front of my neighbours calling me a see you next Tuesday and getting into his friends car to rugby (as he does every Saturday, leaves at 12 and doesn’t get back till 7pm) and told me he wasn’t coming back.
It was my little ones first ever hair cut today and he hasn’t even text to see how it went - his phone is off.

sorry for the large rant - just needed to get it off my chest how fed up I am! Really feel like a single parent and I’ve had enough.

What a bollicks. Do you have family you could visit for a couple of days? Don't tell him where you're going x

 

[he eldndnoe]

What a bollicks. Do you have family you could visit for a couple of days? Don't tell him where you're going x

Ive been at my mum and dads all day bless them they’re the best. Not sure what I would do without them to be honest!! X

 

[Yodabest]

@Yodabest how are you doing lovely?

Sorry I missed this. Some days good other days bad. I can go a day with no tears on autopilot or just break down and not get anything done. I don't see me being okay any time soon but I hope in time I will be

@Yodabest how are you doing lovely?

And thank you so much for thinking of me. I really appreciate it

 

[K A Y L E I G H]

Hi al, I hope you don’t mind me jumping on here. After months of feeling fed up, today I just cracked. I am a full time working mum (FE teacher so workload is insane, especially at this time of the year) my youngest doesn’t sleep and my partner doesn’t help. He’ll come in from work, sit on his phone and moan when I ask him to take our youngest to bed. Anyway, today I took my eldest out shopping and came home to him moaning that our little one hadn’t stopped crying etc. I then find out he hadn’t fed him (was 11am by now) and my little one was hungry so I snapped at him about that. I then asked him to make some lunch to take out as I was heading off to meet a friend with the kids, looked inside the lunch boxes and he had filled my little ones with junk and no sandwiches. I asked him what on earth he was thinking not putting any fruit and sandwhiches in etc, to which he replied by screaming at me in front of my neighbours calling me a see you next Tuesday and getting into his friends car to rugby (as he does every Saturday, leaves at 12 and doesn’t get back till 7pm) and told me he wasn’t coming back.
It was my little ones first ever hair cut today and he hasn’t even text to see how it went - his phone is off.

sorry for the large rant - just needed to get it off my chest how fed up I am! Really feel like a single parent and I’ve had enough.

Honestly same!!
I’m a stay at home mum currently and pregnant with our third and I asked my partner today to feed our youngest her dinner as she kept handing him her plate and she doesn’t let me feed her for some reason and his exact words were, ‘I can’t I’m watching the football.....’
Does he not realise I have to juggle everything I do in the week when he’s at work, the cooking, the cleaning, making sure the kids are fed, changed and dressed for the day, food ready for him when he comes home and he couldn’t feed our daughter.
love him but he’s a bloody pillock and his mum thinks he’s the most amazing dad, don’t get me wrong obviously he is as he provides for us but the second my mum praises my parenting on social media or anything to anyone she’s there saying ‘oh and don’t forget their daddy’ when she knows nothing

 

[Kofi Annan]

My eldest daughter is 17 years old tomorrow and for the past 3 years she has been in a toxic relationship with a guy who is 2 years older than her.
We found out that he had been grooming her and they had been engaging in sexual contact whilst she was underage and he was an adult. It was very distressing and tore our family apart. We knew nothing about him until we discovered that and they met via Snapchat.
We did everything we could to prevent contact like notifying the Police, contacting social services, removing her phone but he was very persistent so when she turned 16 they "got back in touch" - we suspect they'd never been out of touch.
Since then it's been hell. Her moods are very much controlled by him, she has told us she will pick him over us every single time. We have stood firm and told her we will never accept him.
To make things even more difficult we received info that he is a drug dealer, dealing large quantities from his parents address, who have completely befriended my daughter. I cannot even be on my daughters FB because his mother writes the most ridiculous comments to everything my daughter posts. It makes me sick.
We have spoken to her openly about our concerns and when she ran away to his address the Police returned her immediately because of the risk she faces being at his address. She is vile with us, tells me she hates me and that she wishes I was dead. It has broken my relationship with my husband, who is not her biological father because she is so disgusting towards him. He has been the constant father figure in her life since she was 2 years old and the things she has said to him are devastating.
Today she was supposed to be meeting up with her boyfriend and going local, he lives quite far away and we won't allow her to go to his. Next thing we knew she'd hopped on a train and absconded. She got home about an hour ago and refuses to speak to me as I threatened her with the Police. She has sent me absolute vile messages as a response.
I've just dumped her birthday presents unwrapped on her bedroom floor, I can't even look at her. She told me his family has bought her presents which are far superior to ours anyway.

 

[jarv]

My eldest daughter is 17 years old tomorrow and for the past 3 years she has been in a toxic relationship with a guy who is 2 years older than her.
We found out that he had been grooming her and they had been engaging in sexual contact whilst she was underage and he was an adult. It was very distressing and tore our family apart. We knew nothing about him until we discovered that and they met via Snapchat.
We did everything we could to prevent contact like notifying the Police, contacting social services, removing her phone but he was very persistent so when she turned 16 they "got back in touch" - we suspect they'd never been out of touch.
Since then it's been hell. Her moods are very much controlled by him, she has told us she will pick him over us every single time. We have stood firm and told her we will never accept him.
To make things even more difficult we received info that he is a drug dealer, dealing large quantities from his parents address, who have completely befriended my daughter. I cannot even be on my daughters FB because his mother writes the most ridiculous comments to everything my daughter posts. It makes me sick.
We have spoken to her openly about our concerns and when she ran away to his address the Police returned her immediately because of the risk she faces being at his address. She is vile with us, tells me she hates me and that she wishes I was dead. It has broken my relationship with my husband, who is not her biological father because she is so disgusting towards him. He has been the constant father figure in her life since she was 2 years old and the things she has said to him are devastating.
Today she was supposed to be meeting up with her boyfriend and going local, he lives quite far away and we won't allow her to go to his. Next thing we knew she'd hopped on a train and absconded. She got home about an hour ago and refuses to speak to me as I threatened her with the Police. She has sent me absolute vile messages as a response.
I've just dumped her birthday presents unwrapped on her bedroom floor, I can't even look at her. She told me his family has bought her presents which are far superior to ours anyway.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I've been your daughter although my situation wasn't exactly the same but similar enough that this made me feel awful for you, I wish I had some advice. I hope that she is safe and is able to get out of this situation.

 

[LaurieLaurie]

My eldest daughter is 17 years old tomorrow and for the past 3 years she has been in a toxic relationship with a guy who is 2 years older than her.
We found out that he had been grooming her and they had been engaging in sexual contact whilst she was underage and he was an adult. It was very distressing and tore our family apart. We knew nothing about him until we discovered that and they met via Snapchat.
We did everything we could to prevent contact like notifying the Police, contacting social services, removing her phone but he was very persistent so when she turned 16 they "got back in touch" - we suspect they'd never been out of touch.
Since then it's been hell. Her moods are very much controlled by him, she has told us she will pick him over us every single time. We have stood firm and told her we will never accept him.
To make things even more difficult we received info that he is a drug dealer, dealing large quantities from his parents address, who have completely befriended my daughter. I cannot even be on my daughters FB because his mother writes the most ridiculous comments to everything my daughter posts. It makes me sick.
We have spoken to her openly about our concerns and when she ran away to his address the Police returned her immediately because of the risk she faces being at his address. She is vile with us, tells me she hates me and that she wishes I was dead. It has broken my relationship with my husband, who is not her biological father because she is so disgusting towards him. He has been the constant father figure in her life since she was 2 years old and the things she has said to him are devastating.
Today she was supposed to be meeting up with her boyfriend and going local, he lives quite far away and we won't allow her to go to his. Next thing we knew she'd hopped on a train and absconded. She got home about an hour ago and refuses to speak to me as I threatened her with the Police. She has sent me absolute vile messages as a response.
I've just dumped her birthday presents unwrapped on her bedroom floor, I can't even look at her. She told me his family has bought her presents which are far superior to ours anyway.

I think you need to get tough, she either respects you or she can go and support herself and find somewhere else to live.

 

[Scorpihoe]

I think you need to get tough, she either respects you or she can go and support herself and find somewhere else to live.

I do agree sometimes a tough approach works, especially as she is being very disrespectful. But that really runs the risk of her leaving for good to stay at her boyfriends and his parents, being around drugs etc. And completely cutting off her parents

@Kofi Annan I know it’s so difficult, and I have been in your daughters position. Maybe you could try and reason with her? By preventing her seeing him, she’ll only want to see him more. Maybe act like you’re cool with it and say “okay, you can see him on Tuesday, but for today you have to remain kind and respectful, and we will let you out tomorrow”.

Or “okay you can go into town with him, but be home for 8pm and text us where you are”. Have you tried this?

I really sympathise for you and hope she will eventually see sense x