Support for anyone that needs to vent #3

[BettyCrockerr]

I find it so hard to lose weight I walk to and from work every day and love walking at the weekends, I’m knowledgable about healthy foods and eat what I’m ‘supposed’ to, lift weights a few times a week, it just happens so slowly for me… at an appointment today and doc weighed me twice to double check and said ‘you’re so much heavier than you look!’ … She meant it as a compliment I think but it’s frustrating

Do you “need” to loose weight? Are you over weight?

 

[WilmaHun]

I find it so hard to lose weight I walk to and from work every day and love walking at the weekends, I’m knowledgable about healthy foods and eat what I’m ‘supposed’ to, lift weights a few times a week, it just happens so slowly for me… at an appointment today and doc weighed me twice to double check and said ‘you’re so much heavier than you look!’ … She meant it as a compliment I think but it’s frustrating

Even if she meant it in a complimentary way, I think that comment would have really laid heavy on my mind if a Doc said that to me!

I am similar to you and I struggle losing weight. I walk my dog twice a day, use a weighted hula hoop every day, and occasionally do workout videos. I do love a snack but I don't think my diet is nearly as horrendous as it used to be. I try and ensure my meals are healthy and where possible freshly cooked from home rather than frozen/processed crap etc. I just struggle to lose weight! I've tried numerous things, intermittent fasting, calorie counting, shake diets etc. And I still can't lose it. I know how frustrating it is so I really do feel for you

 

[lurkingaround123]

There's only 2 of us in my small office today, me and the new guy. I have finished all my tasks for the day. My manager is really chilled about letting us have an early finish when its a Friday, and especially when the weather is nice. The new guy has just rang her to say how its going here, and I said maybe let her know we're both finished. Instead he decided to remind her that I am going on annual leave on Tuesday next week so now she's phoned me with a really mundane, time consuming task which I know absolutely nobody will look at once I've done it. I know I'm contracted to be here all day but I can't believe he's just dobbed me in like that!! hole. Giving the same energy as the kid in school reminding the teacher about homework.

 

[theweelesbian]

I’m feeling really sad today. Had a long conversation with my ex partner and they told me they are seeing someone new. We split properly (as in moved out of same house) a month ago but it was over a couple of months before that so some time has passed but I just feel so sad that they have moved on. I’m trying to frame it as okay, the relationship is definitely over at least this removes any of that heart wrenching uncertainty and hope but bleeping hell it’s hard

 

[newaccount2022]

Do you “need” to loose weight? Are you over weight?

By BMI yes I am ‘overweight’ but not by much, I do feel unhappy in my current shape though and that’s my main reason for wanting to lose. I just feel so big and tall (obv nothing I can do with my height lol but it adds to how I feel). Being realistic I know my food is good, I have a takeaway every second weekend and not willing to give that up tbh. I’ve decided to start some more high intensity workouts, maybe running, and see how that goes!

 

[chichi100]

First world vent that I just need to let out… I want to go on holidays with my (non existent) partner and I don’t want to go alone

I am a quiet/private person with a small group of friends, all of them are in serious relationships and live with their partners. They go on holidays and little weekends together regularly, they’re not interested in girl trips or holidays now that we’re all a bit older… I would love a partner to go on little trips with and city breaks. I’ve brought this up a few times and just get told ‘go alone, you’ll have a great time’.. I don’t want to be alone!! I’m alone all the time lol. I looked into singles trips/going with a group but it’s just not me.

I haven’t been abroad or even on a staycation in 4 years and time is just passing me by. One of my friends has 6 city breaks booked with her bf for the rest of the year, just little weekend trips to see a few museums and try new food. Im so jealous

Bit of a late reply but i don’t get why people are like this. Whether I’m single or in a relationship I’m always up for a girls trip with a friend. But for some reason if friends are in a relationship its like they can only go away with their bf

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

Warning this may be long. Pls bare with … Need to rant about my mum. I absolutely hate my mum . This has been going on for years she’s so horrible to me. But doesn’t think anything of it. I’m sick of going to her house and feeling deflated every time I see her. I’ve often driven home in tears or cried when I get home.
she will say things like I’m fat ( I used to be a size 8 before I had a baby. After him I was a 10/12) and then my horse died in 2020& now I don’t do as much exercise from that I’ve gone to a size 14. I was showing her something on my phone the other day and she grabs my belly and goes what’s this ?? And started lecturing me on what I eat and if I have a hormone imbalance because I have some hairs on my chin?? Theres literally 2!!! I’m not some hairy beast.
when I had dark brown hair ( I’m naturally blonde ) she told me it washes me out and I’m too pale for it and that it’s always dry .
I had a baggy dress on last summer and she said it does nothing for me. Well I happen to like the dress and irs meant to be like that.
we’re going to Germany in jan ( me myfella and son) and she said I personally would drive ( dead stuck up ). We’re only going for 5 days so why the duck would we drive. And has she seen the price of petrol?????. We have a pond in our garden but of course her pond is better than mine . Mine is in the wrong place and isn’t natural.
My dad offered to buy me a lab puppy ( they’re getting one and there was one left so he asked if I wanted one ) I said we don’t want one we have a collie who’s 12 won’t be fair on him and my dad said he’ll keep hold of the puppy until we’re ready for her which I thought was nice. And then my mum said dead snide when my dad wasn’t around “ you do know you have to get your own puppy now you can’t have this one they can’t be split up” I said I didn’t want one in the first place. I’m so sick of her & just needed a rant . Thanks to anyone who took the time to read this it’s a bit long winded. My mums a witch basically

 

[fusspot]

I’ve really noticed lately that there are several people in my life who I’d never hear from if I didn’t make the effort to stay in touch!
It is what it is, and I’m over getting upset about it really (mostly!) but I’ve noticed it again very recently - there’s one person who I’d consider myself quite close to who I’ve become convinced meets up now and again out of a sense of duty, and it’s very much an obligatory coffee once a month.
I’ve left the ball in their court with a message a few weeks back to let me know if/when they’re next free, radio silence so far!
It’s not really a big deal, other than I’m becoming very aware that I’m probably a bit of a bore .
If I’m honest, that’s probably the bit that gets to me - that I’m generally a very out of sight out of mind type of person

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

I need another rant and I bet my pals are sick of me so coming on here. I’m so disappointed with the health visitor system. Whatever you call it. Iv just emailed a complaint because last august my son had his 2 year check and I expressed I had concerns re his speech. HV said he needs more time and would ring back in 6 weeks time. Never did. I rang loads and so did his nursery. No replies to messages either. I think it’s disgusting that they’ve just not replied. I understand they are busy but why tell me she will come back in 6 weeks time. I have a speech therapy appointment this afternoon with is on video call! Another thing I’m disappointed with. Where is that going to get us. I feel so let down

 

[watermelon sugar]

I just need to rant cos I’ve no one to speak to.

tw: pregnancy loss

I had a miscarriage 4 weeks ago. I am really struggling. I had a weekend away with my family this weekend just gone and I felt ok but now I’m home I just feel depressed. I know it’s grief but I just feel the sadness won’t ever go away. I feel like I’m torturing myself because I have a baby app on my phone and im still keeping track of the baby what would have been. I was writing on the pregnancy thread and I keep reading it and just thinking why isn’t this me talking about seeing a heartbeat on a scan or talking about possible baby names. I’m seeing pregnancy announcements and I wish it was me and it makes me sad. I wish I was still pregnant. I don’t understand why it had to be me. Was it something I done wrong? Cos I told people? Cos I accidentally drank when I was pregnant when I didn’t know. I just feel like I’m torturing myself constantly. My partner doesn’t seem to be much help all he says is ‘at least you weren’t that far along’ I was still attached though. I seen the baby on the scan the same day I began to miscarry but I was told it was ok. My partners mum keeps saying ‘how can you be sad about it when you’ve already got one baby’ how are these words meant to help? How am I meant to get past this? I don’t feel like me anymore

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

@watermelon sugar so sorry to read this. I don’t have any experience with this but just want to say I hope you feel better. It’s ok to be sad. You’re bound to grieve there’s no time limit on it. It’s not your fault at all please don’t blame yourself. I’m sorry your partner isn’t being supportive when you need him, would deleting the app make you feel a bit better? I’m not sure if reading the thread is good either. I’m so sorry and sending love

 

[fusspot]

@watermelon sugar I’m so sorry.
No it isn’t anything you did wrong; it’s just a cruel hand you’ve been dealt.
Please be kind to yourself, and don’t pay any mind to thoughtless comments. Take care x

 

[Tommyb]

So like, my mum committed suicide. I was 6. It was actually 3 days before my 7th birthday. It was many years ago.

I have had a lot of emotion lately. About everything. But today I found out something and I think it’s positive.

I always felt like her suicide was something to do with me. I was quite a loud, untidy, couldn’t sit still kind of child. I always felt that if my mum had had a calmer, tidier non ADHD child that she might not have committed suicide.

My dad was never really in the picture. He left when I was young.

Again, I blamed myself to some degree for that too. Maybe if I hadn’t been born he would have stayed and my mum could have been happy.

Anyway, today I found out that my Mum had huge health anxiety. When the “mad cow disease” thing happened in the 90s she became consumed by it. A disease, a prion disease, that cannot be seen, cannot be detected until it’s too late. Once you get the symptoms you are already dead.

She convinced herself she had it. Every TV station, news paper, radio show was talking about it. All over the news were bodies of cattle piled high burning. She couldn’t escape it. And she as sure she had it, she just had to wait for her inevitable death. Maybe in a month, maybe in a year, maybe in 10 years. Her mental health was already bad but this kicked it into overdrive. It was all she could think about.

And she killed herself. Because she didn’t want me to watch her go through this awful death she had imagined for herself. Because our brains can trick us into believing terrible things.

But, here’s the take home. It wasn’t my fault. There was nothing I could have done. I could have been any child, the best behaved child in the world and she still would have done it. And she did love me. Her brain was just cruel.

So if you’ve read this far, firstly thank you. And secondly, I’ve kept this bottled up for 26 years+. I never thought to ask anyone why she did it, or what went on in the months leading up to it. I thought she was just stressed by life and couldn’t handle it and if I’d been better things would have been different. But they wouldn’t. So chaps; communicate. Communicate about the bad things. You might get some much needed peace.

So sorry for what you have gone through. To offer the perspective of someone with health anxiety... I have healthy anxiety and I can tell you never ever before health anxiety consumed me could I understand why someone would hurt themselves. It was a world away from me.

The bam.. health anxiety. I was a wreck for 2/3 years. It was so bad. My brain just didn't work logically about anything. I couldn't think. I lost so much weight I made myself poorly convincing myself I was dying. I remember saying to my mum " I never understood someone killing themselves but now I understand why it seems the only option". Needless to say if it wasn't for my mum it might have ended differently for me. I cannot imagine anyone going through health anxiety completely by themselves with noone around to even try to understand them. You cannot see good in anything sometimes.

It wasn't you. In her own mind she probably felt like she was protecting you. The fact you were loud and couldn't sit still if anything would have been a distraction from her thoughts I bet.

 

[candyland_]

What were you expecting people to say though? You stipulated that you are sleeping with a man who has a partner and children. That you are allowing him to dictate everything, that he has you waiting around for him at a click of his fingers so that he can essentially booty call you whenever it suits him and then when you expressed that you were upset with him, he then GASLIGHT you and attempted to make you the bad one and now it’s YOUR fault for making him feel bad?!

You don’t want to hear it but know this:

- he is USING YOU for sex and the ego boost of having you and his beck & call

- he is 100% still sleeping with his partner. They are very much a couple. He’s having an affair with you.

- he’s never going to leave her for you

- you are not the only one

- he’s a narcissistic, mentally abusive pig

- YOU DESERVE BETTER.

Talk about overreacting!! She said they are separated Ok they probably aren’t but as far as she is concerned they are. There’s really no need to be so brutal with every reply.

For what it’s worth I don’t think you said anything wrong by saying saying ok night night.

 

[WilmaHun]

@watermelon sugar Please don't ever feel like it's your fault or it's happened because of something you did. You're not to blame and it's one of those things which you just can't control. I'm so sorry for everything you are going through, I wish I could do something more that put words on a screen to make you feel better or to take away some of the pain. Easier said than done, but try not to pay attention to any insensitive comments those around you are making, you have a right to feel how you do and do not ever allow anybody to disregard your feelings. Sending so much love your way. Take time for yourself, take care of yourself and put you first - don't feel guilty for that either, you need time to heal and that's okay

 

[Littleelf]

I’ve really noticed lately that there are several people in my life who I’d never hear from if I didn’t make the effort to stay in touch!
It is what it is, and I’m over getting upset about it really (mostly!) but I’ve noticed it again very recently - there’s one person who I’d consider myself quite close to who I’ve become convinced meets up now and again out of a sense of duty, and it’s very much an obligatory coffee once a month.
I’ve left the ball in their court with a message a few weeks back to let me know if/when they’re next free, radio silence so far!
It’s not really a big deal, other than I’m becoming very aware that I’m probably a bit of a bore .
If I’m honest, that’s probably the bit that gets to me - that I’m generally a very out of sight out of mind type of person

I have a freind like this, we worked together and are now on maternity leave at the same time. When we worked together we were constantly doing things, during lockdown and working from home she didnt get in contact for literally months and months at a time. I thought you know working from home and lockdowns and things got in the way so fair enough. Now we are both off work with our babies and I never hear from her at all unless i test first. She invited me on a night out for her birthday and she got quite drunk and was saying all this stuff about me being her best freind and I was just stood there sober thinking how can I be your best freind when you literally don't talk to me at all?? Lol I've stopped bothering to make an effort its not worth my time.

Something I learned over lockdown is that the most important people in my life are my hubby and kids so I focus on them now rather than wasting time on what I now realise was mostly superficial friendships

 

[StillLucilleBluth]

I’m feeling really sad today. Had a long conversation with my ex partner and they told me they are seeing someone new. We split properly (as in moved out of same house) a month ago but it was over a couple of months before that so some time has passed but I just feel so sad that they have moved on. I’m trying to frame it as okay, the relationship is definitely over at least this removes any of that heart wrenching uncertainty and hope but bleeping hell it’s hard

I feel you. It’s a horrible feeling. I’m in that place too - felt OK for a while post breakup but recently had one of those dates (as in, calendar dates) that made me realise it’s really over and has brought back some of the sadness and grief around it. I hope you are feeling a little better by now - at least these things tend to pass. I read once that you don’t necessarily stop feeling things after a breakup, but as time goes on, you just recover faster from the blips like these. Here’s hoping

 

[fusspot]

I have a freind like this, we worked together and are now on maternity leave at the same time. When we worked together we were constantly doing things, during lockdown and working from home she didnt get in contact for literally months and months at a time. I thought you know working from home and lockdowns and things got in the way so fair enough. Now we are both off work with our babies and I never hear from her at all unless i test first. She invited me on a night out for her birthday and she got quite drunk and was saying all this stuff about me being her best freind and I was just stood there sober thinking how can I be your best freind when you literally don't talk to me at all?? Lol I've stopped bothering to make an effort its not worth my time.

Something I learned over lockdown is that the most important people in my life are my hubby and kids so I focus on them now rather than wasting time on what I now realise was mostly superficial friendships

I had a very similar experience during lockdown. I honestly think I wouldn’t have heard from anyone outside of my home and family if I’d not made the effort to stay in touch.
My hubby and family are also my world, but I do sometimes feel sad that I don’t have regular female company.
Especially on nights like tonight when I can barely get a word out of hubby but he’s quite happy to chat to my sons about the footie!

 

[Melian]

When your GP phones you and says they need to see you because of your blood test results. I waited 3 weeks for an appointent, only to be told it's highly likely there's nothing wrong. Such a waste of time and worry.

 

[no-no]

Just wanted to vent because my life right now is escaping a toxic job, caring for a high needs elderly dog, helping my elderly mum out and just trying to do small things that may help me in the future. Also recovering from years of an emotionally abusive ex whilst trying to cope with ASD + a lingering ED with no one to lean on. My mum is lonely and manipulative in getting me around her. I fall for it still, but one hour becomes two becomes three. it’s never enough and jarring after a neglectful childhood (not acknowledged).

I’ve paid for a private counsellor next week, I don’t even know where to begin. I don’t want to be downtrodden anymore. I feel like just saying OFF to everything and lying down like the guy in the Radiohead Just video. There’s no headspace to figure out what I want in life, I’m filled with shame and a sense of obligation.