I really don't know if I keep this post up.
But I had a very bad experience a few days ago
I was told something and me been the caring person I mentioned it to another person to protect them.
This ended badly as the parent of child was mentioned had something yelled at me across the road infront of whole street. (Instead of just coming up to ask)
Of course this sets my pass life anger out (I was badly bullied so my adult self of instinct is to defend myself as I didn't say rumour) well let's say when my anger is bad (only happens once in blue moon I come to blow) He (inbeen told a lot of people dont like him) was having a right go at me that I went towards him he looked scared and moved I let rip into him (badly), cause upsetting his kid (who I sad sorry to if miss understood) I wasn't gonna say sorry to the dad cause he had no right to have a right go at me infront of everyone. Apparently he likes to do it in public to make a fool of you and never expects someone aka a women to fight her ground.
Now people on street know not to piss me off.
I haven't being out since properly when I came back some people turned and went bk in house, I made myself sick over it. Had panic attacks and all.
This is the second time someone had ago at me infront of everyone (again its like high school bullying) I let rip then.
I am one of the kindest, caring, thoughtful person you will ever meet, I help out people even though no one will help me out.
I look after the kids on the street when out.
I'm just hurt that said person didn't say their said it and I was just warning other kid.
I lost some weight, not eating, having nightmares, so not sleeping well.
I know I shouldn't of done it and all, I don't have anger problems, I been treated for this, the Dr said it's a outburst of anger cause the person is like "bullying me again" I tried counting in the past but I come to blow. Again only once in a blue moon. Other times if mad It's controlled as I can count ( I get mad at news on TV, or if something not working when it should)
I have a health condition that your mood can be effected physically, mentally and emotionally it comes for a few mins to hour then goes. Unless the problem like mine can last for days on end.
I have zero friend, like none, only onlone ones but their dont really know me. So i havent got anyone to turn too but family.
I just want to cry and hide.