Support for anyone that needs to vent #3

Wonkyteeth · Jul 2, 2022

strawberrysunshine_x said:
I would be upset too. Men just don’t think sometimes , maybe he didn’t think it would be a big deal to you. Have you told him how you feel? Ie how come he gets a steak restaurant and you get ignored ??

Thank you so much for replying - I’m glad it’s not just me. I have told him and he said that he would come down earlier, but ended up crashing his car as he was leaving the gym saying he was rushing to get back and has since been really blunt with me (as if it was my fault for having a go at him and therefore making him rush) - he didn’t end up coming over at all then. We do live a 40 minute drive away from each other so I get that it’s not easy to get public transport/ a taxi so I’m letting him off the hook for that part.

BettyCrockerr · Jul 2, 2022

Wonkyteeth said:
Hello. Sorry if this isn’t the right place to post this - but I feel really upset with my boyfriend and I’m not sure whether I’m being petty or not.
It was my birthday a couple of days ago and unfortunately my mum came down with Covid a few days before, meaning she had to isolate and we couldn’t leave the house to celebrate (I’m 22 so still live at home with my parents). My boyfriend knew this and said he would do something with me instead. However, on the morning of my birthday he called and said that he wouldn’t be coming to see me until 9pm as he had a gym class booked in. We’ve been together for 4 years and usually he makes an effort, but I just feel like it shows what his priorities are that he’s happy not to see me until late in the night on my birthday for something that he can skip for one week. Am I being petty? I understand some people don’t value birthdays, however, a few weeks ago when we were in town shopping, he asked me to book a fancy steak restaurant for his own birthday (which is a few weeks after my birthday) but made no plans for mine. I just feel really hurt and it’s making me question whether he only cares about himself. This isn’t the first time he’s put himself first.

You didn’t have to stay at home, just because your mum had covid. You could have gone out for your birthday.

That aside - the fact that he basically couldn’t be arsed/had no real interest In seeing you on your birthday and had no intention of doing anything with you to celebrate pretty much says it all. And you say it’s not the first time.

You are only 22. The relationship has likely run its course.

strawberrysunshine_x · Jul 2, 2022

Wonkyteeth said:
Thank you so much for replying - I’m glad it’s not just me. I have told him and he said that he would come down earlier, but ended up crashing his car as he was leaving the gym saying he was rushing to get back and has since been really blunt with me (as if it was my fault for having a go at him and therefore making him rush) - he didn’t end up coming over at all then. We do live a 40 minute drive away from each other so I get that it’s not easy to get public transport/ a taxi so I’m letting him off the hook for that part.

Have you seen evidence of his car being crashed? As I wouldn’t trust a word a man says when it comes to things like this. He’s blaming you for crashing his car and completely taking it out on you

As Betty said you didn’t need to stay at home as restrictions have changed but still doesn’t sound like he was making effort. He used 2 excuses in one day.

Wonkyteeth · Jul 2, 2022

BettyCrockerr said:
You didn’t have to stay at home, just because your mum had covid. You could have gone out for your birthday.

That aside - the fact that he basically couldn’t be arsed/had no real interest In seeing you on your birthday and had no intention of doing anything with you to celebrate pretty much says it all. And you say it’s not the first time.

You are only 22. The relationship has likely run its course.

Sorry I didn’t explain that well. He offered to do something with me earlier on in the week because he knew I couldn’t go out with my mum due to her having covid.

I agree - it’s been 3 days now and he still hasn’t bothered to come and see me. It sounds based on his texts that he’s feeling sorry for himself about his car lol.

It feels like I’ve wasted 4 and a half years of my life on someone who doesn’t care. Thank you for giving me your opinion on the matter - it’s making me feel more sane.

strawberrysunshine_x said:
Have you seen evidence of his car being crashed? As I wouldn’t trust a word a man says when it comes to things like this. He’s blaming you for crashing his car and completely taking it out on you

As Betty said you didn’t need to stay at home as restrictions have changed but still doesn’t sound like he was making effort. He used 2 excuses in one day.

Thank you for replying. To be fair he did send evidence of his car and the bumper was hanging off so it was pretty serious. I questioned it at first too lol. That being said, he could have hopped on a train over the past couple of days to see me as my birthday was 3 days ago.

BettyCrockerr · Jul 2, 2022

Wonkyteeth said:
Sorry I didn’t explain that well. He offered to do something with me earlier on in the week because he knew I couldn’t go out with my mum due to her having covid.

I agree - it’s been 3 days now and he still hasn’t bothered to come and see me. It sounds based on his texts that he’s feeling sorry for himself about his car lol.

It feels like I’ve wasted 4 and a half years of my life on someone who doesn’t care. Thank you for giving me your opinion on the matter - it’s making me feel more sane.

Thank you for replying. To be fair he did send evidence of his car and the bumper was hanging off so it was pretty serious. I questioned it at first too lol. That being said, he could have hopped on a train over the past couple of days to see me as my birthday was 3 days ago.

Bottom line; if he actually wanted to see you he would have.

You are 22. Stop wasting time with him, it’s time to move on.

Rxt156 · Jul 2, 2022

Wonkyteeth said:
Thank you so much for replying - I’m glad it’s not just me. I have told him and he said that he would come down earlier, but ended up crashing his car as he was leaving the gym saying he was rushing to get back and has since been really blunt with me (as if it was my fault for having a go at him and therefore making him rush) - he didn’t end up coming over at all then. We do live a 40 minute drive away from each other so I get that it’s not easy to get public transport/ a taxi so I’m letting him off the hook for that part.

Don’t believe the car thing. I call BS

Apple In My Pie · Jul 3, 2022

I just want to vent and also I don’t know if I am in the wrong or not

About two months ago I befriended this very very small internet influencer, who has an even smaller group where fans of him can hang out and chat and stuff. Sometimes he does little pub quizzes and sometimes he will talk about what he’s doing in his life (outside of the internet influencing stuff). We talked over DMs and I thought we got on quite well, he would banter with me and others even said we were flirtatious.

Except last night he messaged me to say that I was messaging him too often and that he no longer wished to speak to me. He said I needed to tone it down and only speak with him if it was urgent and i am a stranger to him who he doesn’t wish to know as he is very private. This big paragraph on and on.

I am really confused by this. I don’t know if it is my fault. I suspect I am autistic, I really struggle socially amd I don’t have any friends so I can struggle with boundaries.

But I literally only messaged him three times this week. Literally three comments, not long paragraphs, not hounding him every day or every hour. Once was for the pub quiz, which he encourages, we were all messaging him. Once was in response to a post he had made saying I found it interesting. And once was, admittedly, just to say I was bored and I missed his quizzes, and had saw something that reminded me of the quiz he had sent us and I thought he’d like it.

I feel really, really shit. I always seem to fuck it up somewhere, I can’t just have one friend, or one nice conversation. Always time and time again people drop me and never say why and I’m left wondering if it is my fault, if I’m just the monumental fuck up. And this one really hurt because I love the community and also we were quite close to a point so I’m surprised by how quickly it all changed.

I don’t think I can cry any more than I have already. Mum says it isn’t my fault and that he sounds like a bit of a dick but she doesn’t understand, I don’t care about him, it’s the bigger thing, the bigger feeling of, oh no, did I fuck this up, again and again and again…

BettyCrockerr · Jul 3, 2022

Apple In My Pie said:
I just want to vent and also I don’t know if I am in the wrong or not

About two months ago I befriended this very very small internet influencer, who has an even smaller group where fans of him can hang out and chat and stuff. Sometimes he does little pub quizzes and sometimes he will talk about what he’s doing in his life (outside of the internet influencing stuff). We talked over DMs and I thought we got on quite well, he would banter with me and others even said we were flirtatious.

Except last night he messaged me to say that I was messaging him too often and that he no longer wished to speak to me. He said I needed to tone it down and only speak with him if it was urgent and i am a stranger to him who he doesn’t wish to know as he is very private. This big paragraph on and on.

I am really confused by this. I don’t know if it is my fault. I suspect I am autistic, I really struggle socially amd I don’t have any friends so I can struggle with boundaries.

But I literally only messaged him three times this week. Literally three comments, not long paragraphs, not hounding him every day or every hour. Once was for the pub quiz, which he encourages, we were all messaging him. Once was in response to a post he had made saying I found it interesting. And once was, admittedly, just to say I was bored and I missed his quizzes, and had saw something that reminded me of the quiz he had sent us and I thought he’d like it.

I feel really, really shit. I always seem to fuck it up somewhere, I can’t just have one friend, or one nice conversation. Always time and time again people drop me and never say why and I’m left wondering if it is my fault, if I’m just the monumental fuck up. And this one really hurt because I love the community and also we were quite close to a point so I’m surprised by how quickly it all changed.

I don’t think I can cry any more than I have already. Mum says it isn’t my fault and that he sounds like a bit of a dick but she doesn’t understand, I don’t care about him, it’s the bigger thing, the bigger feeling of, oh no, did I fuck this up, again and again and again…

I think what you have to be very clear on is that while to you, it felt like you were “quite close” to a point and that you only sent a few comments - in reality this man is a stranger. He’s not your mate, he’s not someone who is genuinely interested in you or any of the people who follow him - he’s building his following. He engages with it to do what every single one of these people do - to build his “brand” - and while you felt that was perhaps a friendship or some kind of genuine connection and that it was a real group of “friends” chatting the reality is that it’s nothing of the sort. His message to you asking you not to contact him/to back off IS rude and perhaps he is a total dick - but that’s sort of besides the point. You need to be able to distinguish between these types of banal genetic meaningless online chats and those of genuine friends.

Delete and block, move on and try to connect with real people - but people who aren’t trying to make it as influencers or who have ulterior online motives.

Apple In My Pie · Jul 3, 2022

BettyCrockerr said:
I think what you have to be very clear on is that while to you, it felt like you were “quite close” to a point and that you only sent a few comments - in reality this man is a stranger. He’s not your mate, he’s not someone who is genuinely interested in you or any of the people who follow him - he’s building his following. He engages with it to do what every single one of these people do - to build his “brand” - and while you felt that was perhaps a friendship or some kind of genuine connection and that it was a real group of “friends” chatting the reality is that it’s nothing of the sort. His message to you asking you not to contact him/to back off IS rude and perhaps he is a total dick - but that’s sort of besides the point. You need to be able to distinguish between these types of banal genetic meaningless online chats and those of genuine friends.

Delete and block, move on and try to connect with real people - but people who aren’t trying to make it as influencers or who have ulterior online motives.

Yeah. Thank you x

newaccount2022 · Jul 7, 2022

God work is the worst yesterday and today… I am being micromanaged to the extreme while my boss updates processes and workflows. He has me and another colleague following new workflow without announcing this to the rest of the company, meaning they all ping me asking me what the hell I’m doing. Loads of passive aggressive emails being sent around. He’s always at my shoulder sniping at me

Cindy-Lou Who · Jul 7, 2022

I'm winding myself up at the minute. I HATE my job, every morning it fills me with dread and i can't stand the feeling. I'm at the point now where, if I didn't have bills to pay, I would walk out.

I'm in my 30's, never academically trained in anything, just got a job at 16, worked myself up to manager level and then moved on with those skills.

The reason I'm annoying myself is because I have no idea what I'm interested in. I dont want to go out and get a similar job as I'll end up the same. I would love to do something that I love and that I have a huge interest in. But what?!

I did a careers questionnaire this morning. Took me 40 minutes to complete for it to come back with the job that I have now

How do people know and why don't I?

yankydoo · Jul 7, 2022

Cindy-Lou Who said:
I'm winding myself up at the minute. I HATE my job, every morning it fills me with dread and i can't stand the feeling. I'm at the point now where, if I didn't have bills to pay, I would walk out.

I'm in my 30's, never academically trained in anything, just got a job at 16, worked myself up to manager level and then moved on with those skills.

The reason I'm annoying myself is because I have no idea what I'm interested in. I dont want to go out and get a similar job as I'll end up the same. I would love to do something that I love and that I have a huge interest in. But what?!

I did a careers questionnaire this morning. Took me 40 minutes to complete for it to come back with the job that I have now

How do people know and why don't I?

I completely relate to this. I feel exactly the same about my job. I’ve been in the same career for 10 years and have grown to hate it. I don’t know what else I can do either and I really don’t want to take a huge pay cut either, which is another factor.

Im currently sitting on my sofa hating life because I had a bad day at work.

BlueRose · Jul 10, 2022

Hey. Not sure if I can say what I want here but its only a thread I could find.
I have a two year old who was born early (late prem) Health been 90% fine. No issues with growth or weigh(wait) Eats well but not much due to reflux & gagging. Now 2 years old I'm worried due to what everyone says oh your heavy, your some weight, weighing at 2 stone (height about 37inc). I'm freaking out as the "ideal weight" should be 1stone 8lbs. We always eat healthy.. fruit is always eaten, go for long walks, go to soft play etc. Only as junk once a week. Now I was a heavy baby but soild. I just wish people would stop saying it cause it hurts.

NomDeGuerre · Jul 10, 2022

I've made a big mistake at work that came to light today. My direct boss seems to be OK with it and understands I've been under a lot of pressure and that human error sometimes just can't be accounted for. A colleague has been quite shitty about it, however, and I now know I'll be spending a sleepless running through every possible outcome in my head. My work anxiety has been pretty awful recently and this has pushed it through the roof.

Tommyb · Jul 11, 2022

NomDeGuerre said:
I've made a big mistake at work that came to light today. My direct boss seems to be OK with it and understands I've been under a lot of pressure and that human error sometimes just can't be accounted for. A colleague has been quite shitty about it, however, and I now know I'll be spending a sleepless running through every possible outcome in my head. My work anxiety has been pretty awful recently and this has pushed it through the roof.

I posted something similar not too long ago. I made a mistake and I was a nervous wreck. My manager said "don't fret over the long weekend but we will talk on Tuesday". Well that didn't help me. But honestly I just owned it. I said I was sorry and had let something slide I wouldn't usually. I am under investigation for some pretty serious health concerns which they already knew. He wasn't happy but because I didn't go in defensive or poor poor me I think it helped. I just said " there is nothing you could say that would make me feel worse and I really feel terrible about it. Iv thought about it and can see why this happened. I'm going to make these change (list your changes) to make sure it never happens again. Do you think there's anything else I could do to catch this in the future?
Imo you are lucky your boss is understanding!. You just have to own it. You will not be fired!. Give it a few weeks and you won't be thinking about it xxx

strawberrysunshine_x · Jul 11, 2022

NomDeGuerre said:
I've made a big mistake at work that came to light today. My direct boss seems to be OK with it and understands I've been under a lot of pressure and that human error sometimes just can't be accounted for. A colleague has been quite shitty about it, however, and I now know I'll be spending a sleepless running through every possible outcome in my head. My work anxiety has been pretty awful recently and this has pushed it through the roof.

Hope you’re ok. We all make mistakes ! I hope someone is the same to the person being horrible to you, when it’s their turn to make a Misfake. It’s impossible not to fuck up at some stage.
i did something at work last week and someone realised and went to the manager about it. I absolutely hate people who stick their nose in other peoples business

Jadejones9596 · Jul 11, 2022

Morning all

Hope everyone is ok

I'm struggling this morning, I think I might be about to have a meltdown.

Someone I have feelings for has just started seeing someone else and im completely devastated. I always thought he would come back to me.

Any tips on how I get past this? Right now I'm a bit numb and on the brink of panic

strawberrysunshine_x · Jul 11, 2022

Jadejones9596 said:
Morning all

Hope everyone is ok

I'm struggling this morning, I think I might be about to have a meltdown.

Someone I have feelings for has just started seeing someone else and im completely devastated. I always thought he would come back to me.

Any tips on how I get past this? Right now I'm a bit numb and on the brink of panic

Block them both on all socials so you don’t see anytning that will upset you. Theres a reason he hasn’t come back to you.
you’ll find someone better

newaccount2022 · Jul 11, 2022

Jadejones9596 said:
Morning all

Hope everyone is ok

I'm struggling this morning, I think I might be about to have a meltdown.

Someone I have feelings for has just started seeing someone else and im completely devastated. I always thought he would come back to me.

Any tips on how I get past this? Right now I'm a bit numb and on the brink of panic

i have been there!!! I know it doesn’t help, but you’re not alone. I agree with above please stay off all socials even just until the weekend. You could get stuck into a show like Desperate Housewives, Gossip Girl, Greys and just leave the phone out of sight and don’t look at anything. Buy ice cream and a pizza and allow yourself to be upset - bottling it up helps nothing and a good cry can do us the world of good.

Squittel · Jul 11, 2022

I’m really fucked off with the fucking birds.

They looked really fucking hot and were sat on the grass spreading their wings out to cool down and I felt fucking sorry for them.

So I filled up a big fuck off Pyrex dish of water and brought it all the way downstairs past all my ground floor neighbours with their doors open slopping it all over the place and put it under the tree so the fucking birds could cool down and drink some fucking water.

But the fucking birds looked at me like a piece of shit and flew away and have ignored my fucking kind fucking offering like they don’t even fucking care and it’s like well fuck you too you feathery fucking heathens I hope you fucking boil alive.

And I’ll have to go back downstairs later and collect my fucking rejected Pyrex dish of fucking bird water like a fucking rejected bird mother whose children hate her.

BIRDS.

Edit: I have realised I probably swore too much. I just really like birds. I don’t want them to boil alive. I just want them to view me as a water God. Or like Snow White or something.

Support for anyone that needs to vent #3

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