Sophie & Dave #26 Don’t sing to me Dave, do some cardio instead!

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Peachylace

Wow, laughing at Barney hitting her in the face. Yeah won't be funny when he's doing it to other kids at the park. Dopey cow.
 
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Jillbean3000

Omg my beautiful tattle peeps this thread is the funniest one yet I’m pissing myself!

Wonder if Dave has to use the Hoover to suck out the buried penis. ‘Soaf come quick it’s out!!! It’s showing!!! Jump on my wee lassy’
 
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Polkadot123

Jillbean3000 said:
Omg my beautiful tattle peeps this thread is the funniest one yet I’m pissing myself!

Wonder if Dave has to use the Hoover to suck out the buried penis. ‘Soaf come quick it’s out!!! It’s showing!!! Jump on my wee lassy’
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I am so glad I have eaten already.
 
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XxMrskxx

I have to agree , my wedding in 2009 was not on a budget because my dad was paying for it but I did not want a big fancy hotel where non of my family or friends could afford a drink
I also did not want to pick and choose who had dinner and who didn’t as imo I think that’s really quite rude
So I had 200 people all day
4 course meal by a caterer
In a chapel hall
I had 6 bridesmaids and my OH had 6 men in kilts and my wedding was £5k
Everyone still talks about my wedding to this day as it was basically just a big party and the price of alcoholic drinks was £2 so everyone was happy
 
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Lena22*

Just in from work and reading threw comments! ....omg ! So funny but also abit Dave and the hoover ( suction mode) boak made myself abit sick there lol
 
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Ktydor

100% this!! If I do sensory stuff with my 6 month old (dyed rice play, painting, bubbles etc) it honestly knackers him out. But on days where I’m busy with housework and we just play with some plastic toys and watch hey duggee you can honestly tell the difference and he never goes down well for naps.
You can tell that is exactly what is happening here with Barney. Babies under 1 want to be stimulated and played with. Poor kid probably thinks the camera is his mum more than Saggy Sofa.
 
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Suecee

Dave’s croc said:
I have never seen anything like it. Barney will be the kid with no boundaries and will be a terror. Why would you let him smack you in the face constantly and end up covered in food. They really are stupid.
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I am sure they will be labelled as 'ineffective parents' by the school. They really need to step up now as parents- they literally have nothing else to do!
 
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disneyerin

Peachylace said:
Wow, laughing at Barney hitting her in the face. Yeah won't be funny when he's doing it to other kids at the park. Dopey cow.
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Every time she laughs or even smiles she is rewarding Barney for hitting. WHAT THE HE_ _ IS GOING ON?
 
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Squirrel108

Certifiable madness! What on earth is wrong with these two, Barney turning into Damien overnight cos he has no boundaries. Like a couple of teenagers babysitting on a D list comedy!
 
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Donald73

Ok people I took one for the team...

Our shitshow...oops I mean blog opens with Dave whispering good morning without a Kkkkkkk at the end of it. Transpires it’s after midnight, he was in gym peddling his crank but had to come in to see to Barney who was awake. Dave wearing the play that goes wrong top to remind himself of the last time he worked...never mind Dave, now you’re in the parenting that went wrong EVERY FUCKING DAY! Speaking of, Wreck it (baby’s routine) Dave puts on Wreck it Ralph for Barney who looks quite content now that he got his own way. He says B has blocked nose but no evidence of that.

(As an aside and because we know they read here as proved later in my post SPOILER when my kid was a baby and didn’t sleep, I used this really great trick which involved me lying in bed breathing heavy as if I was asleep until the little git got the idea, got bored and fell asleep. This trick I do believe was passed down through the centuries. Try it you buffoon and dumb bitch)

4am still awake and my dinner is making a reappearance cos King Kong oops hairy Dave is topless. No sign of Owlie but he mentions her, she’s either in a rage at her beauty sleep being invaded or is blissfully snoring. 4.45 he says she suggested a walk so he took Barney out... wait a Goddamn minute, this was mentioned a few days ago, so this is old footage so why couldn’t the upload happen the other day???

Later that morning (no kkkkk) Soph dances like a loon and tells us the kids find her hilarious when the camera is off. Strange that, SOAF I find you bearable when it’s off...let’s just leave it off forever eh?She hoovers then lunch which we are not shown - this must be the day she staged the floor mess.

They go out...proof they read here, Barney is sitting UP!! Soph hair greasy but looks better dressed (apart from the shitty coat) you’re WELCOME SOAF you got no weird looks and whispers of ‘ Quick, call the psych ward’ as you passed people, you could almost pass for normal!!

Theyre walking in Nantwich (so lies about vaccine and going out as they don’t live there!) Dave mentions the manichurrrred grass...no Dave it’s manicured. Cured, like bacon. They look in the window of a cafe at menu, giving me vibes of the homeless kid Joe outside McDonalds in Santa Claus the Movie (If you know, you know). They must be broke...but oh no, what’s this...in they trot en masse into Joules!! Looking like people out shopping! She mauls stuff, doesn’t buy, something for Penelope but she’s vague on when she’s due 3 or 4 weeks (keep trying to hide the green there SOAF - in a few weeks we can expect a meltdown folks, strap in!). Doesn’t buy for Penny, says Barney neeeeeeeds this hat and plops it on his head...doesn’t buy. Hinting hoping Mary will post it maybe. Someone with Covid may have touched that hat but on you go pet!

Home now, dinner of beans is over and she’s holding Barney while he bashes her. Oh how they laughed. Oh how Mrs Smith WON’T laugh when Barney hits her little David at preschool...and primary and secondary.

Wonderful times!

PS the blog is titled ’staying positive in the madness’ but that is a TOTAL misnomer, there’s nothing positive to take from it and the only madness is in her eyes.

Im off to bed now for the early night they say they’re having (but I bet Barney doesn’t provide cos late night TV to watch natch) as I’m feeling sorry for myself with TOM crampy issues...see I can do this cos my well behaved 11 year old is in bed where he should be, chilling and probably about to sleep himself really soon. You pair will NEVER get to that stage!
 
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GoofyGirl

Have to say, Dave did just get on with it with Barney being up. The man is more maternal than Soaf and at least he did t constantly moan about how tired he was.

It was nice to see them out and about but again, does she not get Covid? Trying the baby hat on Barney in Joules and then putting it back?! Just buy your kid something FFS!!!

and finally, letting Barney continually smack her in the face is literally insane. I don’t understand it?!
 
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summer099

I agree with this. Dave literally cracks on with it every time. Where as Sophie will without fail whinge about it & make sure to mention it every 10 minutes.
 
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Donald73

Yeah he cracked on BUT he should have laid down with Barney in the spare bed and settled him without stimulating his brain with a camera shoved in his face and a movie. He still fails at parenting. And life. And weight loss. Winning at looking like a sprout on legs though!
 
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GoofyGirl

summer099 said:
I agree with this. Dave literally cracks on with it every time. Where as Sophie will without fail whinge about it & make sure to mention it every 10 minutes.
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I’m actually glad Dave took one for the team and there wasn’t constant footage of Soaf ‘tired’... I’d have lost my shit!!!!

Her manic episode when dancing in front of Barney... and that bloody pink cardigan looks like it shrunk in the wash! Hopefully she will never wear that in public again

Definitely!!!! They’re actual imbeciles. They’re just convinced it’s because Barneys teething! It’s a joke. Erm maybe tire your very energetic child out!
 
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summer099

sprout on legs this thread has me chocking on my food from laughing tonight!!!
 
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Venom

Go on Barney ! hysterical watching him smack her I'm loving that they're not getting any sleep either owls are supposed to be nocturnal anyway don't ya know soaf
 
Reactions: 17
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