Statement from Sure Media:
“Apologies. We just got out of bed.
It’s with great rambling that we advise you, our lucrative leader has now taken the first steps to become a hasbian. Someone went down… and the tampon hit the fan.
Based on a probability of fluid sexuality and monogamy anti-ideology, we’re genuinely shocked that ‘blondie with the bun’ will now have to be recast because of something she probably did. How dare anyone play our own games against us!
While we are yet to determine what she did that was sooooo heinous, chances are she either forgot to send the kids a jersey from overseas or she got a post coital text from another woman, leapt out of bed and hailed a taxi to be with her true love. Speculate what you will. Sportsbet have shortened the odds in favour of the conjecture through Tattle.
Don’t worry about the dogs. We forgot who we left them with so unless they find their way home I guess they’re ok.
We won’t be changing Flossy’s name. That’s just silly. She was named after Florence Pugh (as a thank you for those fanny flutters) in the first place and we’re sticking to that story.
Break ups tend to score a higher algorithm than hostage-love so we’re looking forward to the sympathy. New PJs out this week. Just for something different, we’ve changed the pattern to cheetah.
We haven’t decided if we’re going to sell our dream home that we built especially for *insert name here*. Sadly we can’t move back to the former marital home either as it hit the market this week. Even our fallback is gone.
Anyway, garage sale at HQ next week. Lots of pre loved items at discounted prices.
Please respect our privacy… until the next podcast.”