Sober Curious tattlers support thread (Dry January and beyond!)

[dxo]

I have a date tomorrow at a cocktail bar. It looked really nice so I didn’t mention the fact I wasn’t drinking to make it awkward. I really want to allow myself just one but worried I’ll get carried away

Hope the date goes well. I bet they'll do some lovely mocktails. And look at it this way, if you manage to do it completely sober you know you'd have been 100 percent yourself and any further dates will be less awkward as you know they'll already like you for you and not your fake confidence due to booze

i'm day 14 today, 2 weeks! Putting the recycling out tonight with no 'omg how many bottles' anxiety haha

 

[theghosttown]

Really glad I found this thread. I’m currently doing dry January with a view to longer term sobriety.
My drinking has become a little out of control over the last year or so. I am the definition of a habitual binge drinker. I would live for Saturday night where I could just get plastered. I’m talking 6 pints in the pub and then back home for a bottle of wine type binges.
When I go out I was drinking to black out. i
My hangovers are excruciatingly bad, I was getting memory loss, just generally feeling like tit. I have a real issue with knowing when to stop. I think something just clicked in December and I started to question what I actually even enjoy about drinking. And I quickly concluded… duck all! That being said there are occasions where I do genuinely enjoy having a drink. I just feel I need to really re learn what ‘social’ and ‘normal’ drinking is and whether I even have the capacity for either.
I was wondering if anyone had any good podcast recommendations? I love sober Dave but I’m struggling to find many others that are relatable. Most seem to be middle Class mummies (I have no children) so anything a bit more humorous or relatable would be great. I’ve also bought the Millie Gooch book which I’ve had a flick through and looks a bit wanky haha.
My friend recommended smart recovery which unlike AA also caters to people simply wanting to reduce their intake. Has anyone tried it?

 

[Kikini Bamalam]

Really glad I found this thread. I’m currently doing dry January with a view to longer term sobriety.
My drinking has become a little out of control over the last year or so. I am the definition of a habitual binge drinker. I would live for Saturday night where I could just get plastered. I’m talking 6 pints in the pub and then back home for a bottle of wine type binges.
When I go out I was drinking to black out. i
My hangovers are excruciatingly bad, I was getting memory loss, just generally feeling like tit. I have a real issue with knowing when to stop. I think something just clicked in December and I started to question what I actually even enjoy about drinking. And I quickly concluded… duck all! That being said there are occasions where I do genuinely enjoy having a drink. I just feel I need to really re learn what ‘social’ and ‘normal’ drinking is and whether I even have the capacity for either.
I was wondering if anyone had any good podcast recommendations? I love sober Dave but I’m struggling to find many others that are relatable. Most seem to be middle Class mummies (I have no children) so anything a bit more humorous or relatable would be great. I’ve also bought the Millie Gooch book which I’ve had a flick through and looks a bit wanky haha.
My friend recommended smart recovery which unlike AA also caters to people simply wanting to reduce their intake. Has anyone tried it?

I don't know about sober podcasts really but I really can recommend the unexpected joy of being sober by Catherine Gray. It is one of the books that got me sober. She was a single/dating/lived with boyfriends woman at the time of her boozing so you might find her relatable, defo not a wine mummy type. I also really rate this naked mind by Annie Grace, it really changed my mindset about booze.

I didn't try smart recovery, I did subscribe to the Soberistas website and joined their 100 day no booze thread which was great for accountability in the early days. But I credit quit lit with making me stop drinking without too much pain to be honest. I was also a blackout drinker and I haven't drunk for over 18months now, haven't wanted to and it feels great.

Good luck

 

[theghosttown]

I don't know about sober podcasts really but I really can recommend the unexpected joy of being sober by Catherine Gray. It is one of the books that got me sober. She was a single/dating/lived with boyfriends woman at the time of her boozing so you might find her relatable, defo not a wine mummy type. I also really rate this naked mind by Annie Grace, it really changed my mindset about booze.

I didn't try smart recovery, I did subscribe to the Soberistas website and joined their 100 day no booze thread which was great for accountability in the early days. But I credit quit lit with making me stop drinking without too much pain to be honest. I was also a blackout drinker and I haven't drunk for over 18months now, haven't wanted to and it feels great.

Good luck

Congratulations, that is absolutely incredible news. My brother recommended the joy of being sober. He himself is an alcoholic and attends AA so I think in a way in predisposed to out of control drinking. I wound genuinely like to be able to drink in the future during high days and holidays (I love champagne haha) but I really need to get to the core of my drinking and work out what I want from it. I will try those other books too!
I have honestly found alcohol free beer to be a fantastic alternative. I haven’t really bothered with the sparkling wines as they tend to be far to sweet for me. I am going out on Sunday and I have already scoured locations that do AF beer on draught.
I tried doing Dry Jan last year and I made it to two weeks. This time I feel completely different and I’m absolutely determined not to cave. Really, I have no excuse to.
I certainly feel sharper and have far better memory recall. I’m bloody knackered at the moment though!

 

[TravellingPants]

Really glad I found this thread. I’m currently doing dry January with a view to longer term sobriety.
My drinking has become a little out of control over the last year or so. I am the definition of a habitual binge drinker. I would live for Saturday night where I could just get plastered. I’m talking 6 pints in the pub and then back home for a bottle of wine type binges.
When I go out I was drinking to black out. i
My hangovers are excruciatingly bad, I was getting memory loss, just generally feeling like tit. I have a real issue with knowing when to stop. I think something just clicked in December and I started to question what I actually even enjoy about drinking. And I quickly concluded… duck all! That being said there are occasions where I do genuinely enjoy having a drink. I just feel I need to really re learn what ‘social’ and ‘normal’ drinking is and whether I even have the capacity for either.
I was wondering if anyone had any good podcast recommendations? I love sober Dave but I’m struggling to find many others that are relatable. Most seem to be middle Class mummies (I have no children) so anything a bit more humorous or relatable would be great. I’ve also bought the Millie Gooch book which I’ve had a flick through and looks a bit wanky haha.
My friend recommended smart recovery which unlike AA also caters to people simply wanting to reduce their intake. Has anyone tried it?

This is a realisation I am also having - what is it that is enjoyable about drinking?! I have narrowed it down to the delicious feeling I get at approx 2 large wines which I would love to then stick and maintain for the rest of the evening, go home, sleep well and wake up knowing I made no poor decisions and don’t suffer for the whole next day with either general hangover or hangxiety. Instead, my brain tells me that I have to drink more to maintain the feeling, which isn’t true and means I don’t remember journeys home and lose the whole next day to the hang. I need to crack how to be OK with the 2 glasses of wine feeling being the pinnacle of the night and press the off switch there!

 

[theghosttown]

This is a realisation I am also having - what is it that is enjoyable about drinking?! I have narrowed it down to the delicious feeling I get at approx 2 large wines which I would love to then stick and maintain for the rest of the evening, go home, sleep well and wake up knowing I made no poor decisions and don’t suffer for the whole next day with either general hangover or hangxiety. Instead, my brain tells me that I have to drink more to maintain the feeling, which isn’t true and means I don’t remember journeys home and lose the whole next day to the hang. I need to crack how to be OK with the 2 glasses of wine feeling being the pinnacle of the night and press the off switch there!

Yes! I feel you. I love that chilled / excitable feeling after a couple of drinks. But like you I just seem to have this urge to continue. I will be out of my mind drunk and still be ordering another drink. I think it comes down to the fact it is physically addictive.
A few people have recommended the unexpected joy of being sober. Which I’ve started to listen to on audible (I love having it on the drive to work). It’s fantastic so far.
One thing I thing I have started to feel now that I am changing my relationship with alcohol is a sense of shame. I feel ashamed of being wasted on my wedding day, at work functions, on nights out. I wonder if that is a passing phase or something that requires work to get over.
I downloaded the I am sober app yesterday which I have really enjoyed and I think I may also start journaling.

 

[yourecutejeans]

I attempted dry January last year and failed after a few days, then went sober mid February and I haven’t had a drink since at the beginning I found sober Instagram pages really helpful and inspiring! I’m 24 now and while I didn’t drink everyday or anything, when I did I really binged and embarrassed myself, not to mention always going looking for drugs after 3/4 drinks. There was nothing sociable about my drinking
My partner still drinks which luckily doesn’t bother me as he doesn’t get “drunk” - and I have no problems with going to bars etc. What I will say is I get invited out a lot less but that’s fine by me! There’s plenty of other things I’d rather be doing. My wonderful dad has been sober for 25 years and has a great motto for his sobriety… “if you keep going to the hairdressers, you’ll end up getting a haircut” Meaning if you keep going to pubs you’ll end up drinking!
The effect sobriety has had on my overall health is ridiculous - it’s also given me time to get really into fitness which I love! I’d highly recommend spin classes for anyone who gets bored of exercising, the feeling afterwards is just unmatched.
My concentration and brain health is definitely improved. I’m sure I did a lot of damage to my poor head with the amounts of drink and drugs I took from a young age, but I’m making a huge effort to mend that now. I started reading again too which is amazing and something to concentrate on
If you’re doing dry January I hope it goes well for you! Just want to say I’d highly recommend going sober altogether, even if you don’t think you have a problem, it can benefit you hugely. It won’t fix all your problems but it definitely won’t hurt

 

[mee43]

I have to say I do genuinely enjoy the taste of a good glass of wine, and whilst I’d happily drink AF beer, or even Gin, and not feel I’m missing out, I’ve never found a non alcoholic Wine that matches the taste of the real thing.
And yet, I know I’d reap the benefits health wise if I gave up for good. I’m definitely considering it.

 

[theghosttown]

I have to say I do genuinely enjoy the taste of a good glass of wine, and whilst I’d happily drink AF beer, or even Gin, and not feel I’m missing out, I’ve never found a non alcoholic Wine that matches the taste of the real thing.
And yet, I know I’d reap the benefits health wise if I gave up for good. I’m definitely considering it.

Im in the same boat as you. I absolutely love dry, fizzy wine. All the alternative just do not cut it and are so sweet!
Have you tried Kombucha??

 

[mee43]

Im in the same boat as you. I absolutely love dry, fizzy wine. All the alternative just do not cut it and are so sweet!
Have you tried Kombucha??

I haven’t tried that, no. Is it like a fizz alternative?

 

[dxo]

I love dry red wine and prosecco. Love Kambucha and drink it often but it doesn't really replace my love for wine, unfortunatlety.

 

[theghosttown]

No it’s not, it’s a fermented tea. It’s got quite a sour flavour and may be a nice alternative possibly?

 

[mee43]

No it’s not, it’s a fermented tea. It’s got quite a sour flavour and may be a nice alternative possibly?

Thanks. I’ll definitely give it a try

 

[elloelloello]

That is the only thing I’m really going to struggle with- I love a glass of wine!
I’ve been reading and listening to lots of sober curious podcasts and I think I’m going to just try a couple of months off the drink and see how I feel about it all.
I’ve got a girls Ibiza trip this year and I want to finally lose my baby weight and feel good and realistically I’m only going to do that if I finally cut out the wine.

 

[oldbird41]

Hi all. I have been exploring my relationship with alcohol for years. I really recommend 'Drink' by Professor David Nutt. You get all the facts in plain english and can then make up your mind. It opened my eyes a lot and has made me more mindful. A week and a bit into Dry January and I do feel and look better. My weight has dropped by 4lbs just cutting out lager. I know a break awlays helps and long term I will never return to heavy drinking. Saying that. Moderation is hard work and just not drinking is sometimes far easier. Good luck all x

 

[dxo]

Alcohol by default makes you want to drink more after one so it's a tricky one. I still don't know if i'll continue to drink come Feb. My husband is saving a bottle of champagne he was given but I really don't want to go back to over drinking. So tricky!! I am hoping i'll be more mindful but I know my brain too... one step at a time! haha

 

[theghosttown]

Alcohol by default makes you want to drink more after one so it's a tricky one. I still don't know if i'll continue to drink come Feb. My husband is saving a bottle of champagne he was given but I really don't want to go back to over drinking. So tricky!! I am hoping i'll be more mindful but I know my brain too... one step at a time! haha

Same, we have a bottle of Laurent Perrier rose in the fridge that we’ve been saving for ages. I wish I could think of in future I can enjoy it but it would just set hares racing for me

 

[beevr]

going for food and to a bar with my boyfriend tonight. The first time this month my sobriety will be really tested. I know I can stick to soft drinks but all i was is a few cocktails/gin. any other recommendations for non alcoholic drinks that may give me a placebo buzz that i can order?

 

[SpindleWhorl]

Well ladies, another Friday evening sober, Me rn;

Good luck for the weekend, already barrelling toward the halfway point!

 

[theghosttown]

going for food and to a bar with my boyfriend tonight. The first time this month my sobriety will be really tested. I know I can stick to soft drinks but all i was is a few cocktails/gin. any other recommendations for non alcoholic drinks that may give me a placebo buzz that i can order?

If you are a lager drinker Heineken zero is hands down the best I’ve found. Closely followed by corona zero.
If you aren’t then I also suggest a Fentimans rose lemonade in a gin glass with tonnes of ice.