Sober Curious tattlers support thread (Dry January and beyond!)

[Lalalalaaaaaa85]

Hi everyone, I need to join this thread. Got so drunk at the weekend (can never ever just have one glass always entire bottle and now its an entire bottle of wine and a couple of beers!!). ENOUGH. My hubby got so cross with me he threw all the alcohol away and I think thats prob a fair decision.
I've been a heavy drinker pretty much all my life (mid 30s now) and have gone through periods of not drinking and saying i'll never again. But I definitely feel like now is the time. I need to look after myself and stop numbing every day stresses. So Hi all will read back along the thread now. Does anyone recommend anyone to follow on insta or youtube?

Hi I could have written this! So me. I can’t just have one and always end up blotto.

Im not sober yet but I follow lots of accounts on IG. Good ones are sobergirlsociety which is run by Millie Gooch and I follow her and the society. Drop the bottle is a good account, teedoodler is a fun account, not so secretly sober

To be fair once you start following one the algorithms show you more and it just snow balls. Good luck x

 

[dxo]

Hi I could have written this! So me. I can’t just have one and always end up blotto.

Im not sober yet but I follow lots of accounts on IG. Good ones are sobergirlsociety which is run by Millie Gooch and I follow her and the society. Drop the bottle is a good account, teedoodler is a fun account, not so secretly sober

To be fair once you start following one the algorithms show you more and it just snow balls. Good luck x

It's a vicious circle isn't it! I can go days without it but once i've had a sip that's me drinking for the night. Sick of it! Thank you, i'll go have a look at those

 

[bagafreebee]

So I am nearly 11 months sober and found it quite easy. The trouble is I said I would do 1 year, hubby says he misses me having a glass of wine with him and wants me to have the occasional drink but that's the problem with me once I start I can't stop. Do I try moderation or carry on.
I do miss having a nice glass of wine with sunday lunch ect but don't miss the hangovers and drunken me.

 

[chorizorice]

So I am nearly 11 months sober and found it quite easy. The trouble is I said I would do 1 year, hubby says he misses me having a glass of wine with him and wants me to have the occasional drink but that's the problem with me once I start I can't stop. Do I try moderation or carry on.
I do miss having a nice glass of wine with sunday lunch ect but don't miss the hangovers and drunken me.

I really think it’s a personal decision that only you can know.. you sound in your post like you are not leaning towards drinking moderately. I can relate that lots of my friends say oh well if you’ll drink just one it won’t hurt when I tell them I’m not sure how long I’ll stay sober but that I am for now. I’ve had to think about what I want with no influence from others and I’ve come to realise I just don’t like to drink nowadays, and being completely alcohol free is what’s best for me. Hope you get some clarity on what you want to do and congratulations on your achievement! 11 months is incredible.

 

[Chulfy]

Hi everyone, first time posting in here. I’m 17 months booze free. Was due to have my first night out alcohol free tomorrow and I cancelled. I just couldn’t face a night with not drinking. I’ve been for meals and stuff with hubby and felt fine. But this was proper night with friends of ours, another couple and I just couldn’t bring myself to go. I lied and made an excuse. Friend knows I haven’t been drinking for a long time, but doesn’t know extent of why I stopped. Anyway…. I know she knows it’s a lie that I told to cancel. But I just couldn’t face the truth I am also undergoing psychiatric assessment for a condition and potentially changing meds so didn’t need the extra stress etc.

I know I’ve done the right thing, but I feel super down about it. I also know I should just be honest with her, but I’m just not there yet in my head.

Also want to recommend 2 books, unexpected joy of being sober and also quit like a woman. 2 great reads.
Good luck to everyone on their sober paths.

 

[dxo]

So I went away this weekend and everyone around me was drinking. Oh my goodness are people horrid when they have been. I managed to stay sober and didn't touch a drop. I used the half hour method. Where I recognised I fancied a drink but I told myself to wait half an hour and see if I wanted one then... 9/10 I didn't! And seeing everyone else opening the second bottle just made me realise how dependant everyone else is on the stuff too! Most people struggle to stop at 2 it would seem.

Interesting weekend!

 

[SqualorVictoria]

So I went away this weekend and everyone around me was drinking. Oh my goodness are people horrid when they have been. I managed to stay sober and didn't touch a drop. I used the half hour method. Where I recognised I fancied a drink but I told myself to wait half an hour and see if I wanted one then... 9/10 I didn't! And seeing everyone else opening the second bottle just made me realise how dependant everyone else is on the stuff too! Most people struggle to stop at 2 it would seem.

Interesting weekend!

Well done! It can be painful being sober around people who are drinking. One thing that gets me is when people repeat the same stories over and over, I never noticed that when drinking and probably did the same thing myself!

 

[Curly Top]

I find that when people are drinking they progressively louder and laugh at things which aren't that funny.

It all starts getting a bit boring.

They don't really like someone around who is stone cold sober and say, "Aren't you being good," which somehow doesn't feel like a compliment.

I would rather meet people during the day for lunch and where you have to drive, which reins them in somewhat.

 

[dxo]

They fly off the handle at the most simple observation too! I commented on a rose looking very bright (in colour) and got snapped at! The loudness is irritating, and the lack of personal space

 

[ComeForTheX StayForTheY]

They don't really like someone around who is stone cold sober and say, "Aren't you being good," which somehow doesn't feel like a compliment.

They really don't! I think it because they are intimidated as it challenges a deeply held belief you cannot 'have fun' unless you are drinking

They fly off the handle at the most simple observation too! I commented on a rose looking very bright (in colour) and got snapped at! The loudness is irritating, and the lack of personal space

Oh and the animated spitting in your face (because they are so drunk and excited and FUN!) Gross, I can see your spit land on my glasses!

 

[coconut_escape]

I’ve never liked drunk ppl even when I was drinking - I like them even less now. Find them loud and too unpredictable so it makes me very uneasy
Got a work Christmas party in a few weeks - and because I’m the only non drinker the buggers have put me on for the Saturday support shift as everyone else will be hanging. At least it gives me an out if I’m not into it

 

[LouLou5]

So glad I found this thread! I gave definitely been drinking far too much recently and want to cut down. I have 4 kids and am just stressed out of my mind most of the time . Finding lots of helpful hints on here! I've stocked up on alcohol free beer and finding that helps. The one I'm drinking only has 20 cals a can so much better than wine! I feel like diet and exercise is going really well so if I could cut down on the wine I would feel so much better taking it day by day and trying to look forward to my AF beer tonight instead of a wine x

 

[Westcoasthippydreamgirl]

I feel like diet and exercise is going really well so if I could cut down on the wine I would feel so much better

I found a pic of me from Dec 2020 the other day (went sober curious in Jan) and I cant get over how bloated my face looked then!

Enjoy your AF beer, I love the stuff and find it really helps that 'itch' to have a drink when sat at home.

 

[AH_]

Hey again. I just wanted to say thank you for everyone who took their time to reply to my post a few months back... I did read them at the time but couldn't really do anything with it.

I hear everything you are all saying but I still cant stop drinking wine.

The thing is I never go out, if I do I dont go out to get drunk I may have 1 drink or nothing at all and I don't begrudge it or care

But at home I live for wine I have to always have a full bottle in the fridge so sending my partner after work everyday to buy 1 or 2 more to keep topped up.

I've tried stopping for a while or weekdays or days before work and I either cant comit to doing it at all or do a few days and then 1 glass a night creeps to a bottle.

I have a cupboard full of spirits literally every alcoholic drink imaginable yet I never think about drinking it... even if I had no wine I wouldnt use them I'd wait till i had some wine.

I'm no further on in where i want to be happy healthy motivated etc.

I know i need to stop wine all together but i also know i have 1.5 bottles wine in the fridge that need to be drunk.

I'm really leaning towards asking for medication now because I just need something that will give me no choice but to stop.

I used to smoke and gave up when pregnant and never smoked since dont miss it dont think about it!

But wine is almost like I feel grief like it's being taken away from me and life will be miserable but I hear you all saying it's not like that... I just cant get there

 

[NoseyNiamh]

I just stumbled across this thread and I think I need to get involved.
I had a horrific experience a couple of months ago as a result of binge drinking too much. I have always been a binge drinker and on nights out I never knew when to stop. I have had so many horrible nights, regrets, bad experiences, got myself into numerous embarrassing and dangerous situations.

The last experience I had was the worst and it made me really look at my behaviour and drinking habits. My main issue is wine so I have completely cut it out and it's been 8 weeks now and I don't miss it. I have had a few nights out but just had a couple of beers.

I feel like a new woman now. But it's so hard having to explain to people why you are not the party animal you previously were.

 

[LouLou5]

Hey again. I just wanted to say thank you for everyone who took their time to reply to my post a few months back... I did read them at the time but couldn't really do anything with it.

I hear everything you are all saying but I still cant stop drinking wine.

The thing is I never go out, if I do I dont go out to get drunk I may have 1 drink or nothing at all and I don't begrudge it or care

But at home I live for wine I have to always have a full bottle in the fridge so sending my partner after work everyday to buy 1 or 2 more to keep topped up.

I've tried stopping for a while or weekdays or days before work and I either cant comit to doing it at all or do a few days and then 1 glass a night creeps to a bottle.

I have a cupboard full of spirits literally every alcoholic drink imaginable yet I never think about drinking it... even if I had no wine I wouldnt use them I'd wait till i had some wine.

I'm no further on in where i want to be happy healthy motivated etc.

I know i need to stop wine all together but i also know i have 1.5 bottles wine in the fridge that need to be drunk.

I'm really leaning towards asking for medication now because I just need something that will give me no choice but to stop.

I used to smoke and gave up when pregnant and never smoked since dont miss it dont think about it!

But wine is almost like I feel grief like it's being taken away from me and life will be miserable but I hear you all saying it's not like that... I just cant get there

I think you need to be really ready to quit? I have been where you are, its always wine that I'm craving, never beer, spirits etc. I always panicked if I didn't have any in the house just like you but this week I decided I needed to make some changes, even just to not drink Mon- Fri. I stocked up on AF beer and cider just so I could have a nice cold drink at night and I planned my day with the thought in my head that I was really looking forward to my lovely, cold AF drink. I also kept thinking about how lovely it would be to not be hungover in the morning, almost like it was a treat to not have to have a wine. Then I broke the day down into manageable chunks and had a soft drink at the stressful dinner, kids bathtime part of the night. I've only done 3 days without wine but it's made me realize that I can do and it's not impossible. I'm nearly dreading the weekend as I really dont want to drink but dont know if I can do it!? Just think that you are in charge, not the wine. Once you make a decision not to have a drink then nobody else is involved, only you. Good luck! X

 

[Littleelf]

I feel like a new woman now. But it's so hard having to explain to people why you are not the party animal you previously were.

This is what I allways found the worst. I'm pregnant now so have the perfect excuse but I gave up drinking at the beginning of the pandemic and no one could understand why I wouldn't drink.

I've spent all my adult life being the life and soul of the party, allways up for going out, allways up for a drink and I went from that to tee total all of a sudden. Unfortunately many of my friends wouldn't take no for answer and made me feel awful for not drinking with them. But it was simply that they didn't understand how serious a problem it was for me because i allways hid how i really felt. It was only when I really opened up and told them my reasons why - mainly suicidal thoughts when I drank- that they finally shut up and let me live how I want too.

 

[Lalalalaaaaaa85]

Hey again. I just wanted to say thank you for everyone who took their time to reply to my post a few months back... I did read them at the time but couldn't really do anything with it.

I hear everything you are all saying but I still cant stop drinking wine.

The thing is I never go out, if I do I dont go out to get drunk I may have 1 drink or nothing at all and I don't begrudge it or care

But at home I live for wine I have to always have a full bottle in the fridge so sending my partner after work everyday to buy 1 or 2 more to keep topped up.

I've tried stopping for a while or weekdays or days before work and I either cant comit to doing it at all or do a few days and then 1 glass a night creeps to a bottle.

I have a cupboard full of spirits literally every alcoholic drink imaginable yet I never think about drinking it... even if I had no wine I wouldnt use them I'd wait till i had some wine.

I'm no further on in where i want to be happy healthy motivated etc.

I know i need to stop wine all together but i also know i have 1.5 bottles wine in the fridge that need to be drunk.

I'm really leaning towards asking for medication now because I just need something that will give me no choice but to stop.

I used to smoke and gave up when pregnant and never smoked since dont miss it dont think about it!

But wine is almost like I feel grief like it's being taken away from me and life will be miserable but I hear you all saying it's not like that... I just cant get there

You sound just like me. No real advice just want you to know you’re not alone feeling like this. I only drink wine too, house full of other alcohol I never touch. What is it about wine??

 

[LouLou5]

You sound just like me. No real advice just want you to know you’re not alone feeling like this. I only drink wine too, house full of other alcohol I never touch. What is it about wine??

Apparently because it's full of sugar our bodies just crave it so much!

 

[coconut_escape]

Just think that you are in charge, not the wine. Once you make a decision not to have a drink then nobody else is involved, only you. Good luck! X

THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT AND TRUE !! rename Wine with a nasty name in your mind and this of it as person who you won’t let get one over on you. I read a book called tired of thinking about drinking and they called it Wolfie and it stuck for me too - so tell your wine voice to just duck off your in charge !! Xx