We start by checking Mr Beacon's fingernails, upon which I send him for another session with the nailbrush.
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According to the recipe, the first step is to activate the yeast. Never mind that everyone uses easyblend yeast, which doesn't need it, we follow the recipe to the letter
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There follows a brief marital argument where Mr Beacon mislays his posh wanker meat thermometer, and then insists I Google to convert 40C into Fahrenheit because apparently he's now from the 50s.
He adds this suspicously warm water to the yeast and gives it a stir.
Oh dear.
View attachment 1708949next, we must blitz the coconut milk,another 100ml of water and the drained pineapple chunks. I drink the pineapple juice, it is delicious (I suspect it's the only thing about this recipe that is...)
View attachment 1708951half the flour, the suspiciously silent yeast and blended slop are added together. Jack recommends muddying mixing it with a knife but Mr Beacon soon finds it too annoying so we switch to her alternative suggestion of using the handle of a wooden spoon. Kudos to her, it works quite well.
View attachment 1708952In goes the rest of the flour. At this point it is still very wet. Never mind - it's time to knead! Mr Beacon taps out at this point and makes me do it, the coward. We chuck loads of flour on the worktop and basically pour it out.
Oh dear.
View attachment 1708953iit's impossible to knead. Far too wet, and because it's self raising flour it's really hard to get any kind of work going. I ignore Jack's remarkably specific instructions about kneading and just do my best to smear it to and fro.
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After adding the entire rest of the bag of flour, it is solid enough to be called a dough. I squidge it into the bowl, and it's now in the sorting cupboard for a few hours. Which is as long as it's going to take me to scrape all the dough off the worktop, my hands etc etc
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