Slopalong: Cooking with Jack Monroe

[Nottonightbabe]

Are you going all out and trying the luxury version?

Nooo the corned beef version surely? Grated corned beef. @Lucky Escape your user name now doesn't seem so apt?

 

[definitelynotvlad]

Your wish to find out what it is has been granted
,

Why would you add oats to iced coffee though? And why would drawing on past experience as a barista be unusual for a chef? Anyway, I’ll give it a crack tomorrow. How bad can it be.
ETA: just re-read and realised she just chucks instant coffee granules in with the cold milk and ice. I retract my “how bad can it be”, think of me when you have your normal breakfasts tomorrow.

 

[SamFoxStuckinaCloak]

View attachment 1701403Given that I am also as Greek as Prince William and our smol pixie, I feel it only right to attempt a recipe from the motherland. I was searching for the ‘much feted’ pastitos recipe, but couldn’t find it. If anyone can track it down I’ll do that, and if not I’ll attempt the delicious sounding courgette and Greek cheese pasta (does this mean feta, or halloumi?) stay tuned to find out.

Quoting myself like a bleep cos of course it’s pastitsio. This chaos will see me thrown out of the “third generation” immigrant club.

 

[Lucky Escape]

Are you going all out and trying the luxury version?

Possibly - it looks like the only tinned stewing steak on Ocado has been continuously out of stock for a year. I'll see if I can find any at Sainsbury's on the way home from work...

 

[SmolWarrior]

I have seen in a few of her recipes (including the one I am signed up to do, hence asking this) she suggests you chuck the onion or whatever in the pan, put the oil in, and then fry. Is that correct? She doesn’t heat the oil first, then add stuff?

Either way I shall follow her recipe literally and to the letter; slightly scared about the oil thing and that she doesn’t specify if I should drain my tinned mandarins or not (so I shan’t).

 

[Clovis]

@Lucky Escape

Goulash

Pooh-lash.

I swear, every recipe I've read seems to start with putting chopped onions in a cold saucepan and rinsing baked beans.

A one trick pony chatting pony.

 

[Notmycat]

Quoting myself like a bleep cos of course it’s pastitsio. This chaos will see me thrown out of the “third generation” immigrant club.

@SamFoxStuckinaCloak
could this be it? I tried linking directly but it kept changing to tattle links, so its from Manchester evening news promotion with Jack and Linda McCartney for Veganary - google "Tips for a low-cost, guilt-free vegan start to 2021"

 

[WhyYouCry?]

I have seen in a few of her recipes (including the one I am signed up to do, hence asking this) she suggests you chuck the onion or whatever in the pan, put the oil in, and then fry. Is that correct? She doesn’t heat the oil first, then add stuff?

Either way I shall follow her recipe literally and to the letter; slightly scared about the oil thing and that she doesn’t specify if I should drain my tinned mandarins or not (so I shan’t).

Sadly, this is correct. She doesn’t heat the oil first. I believe in one TV cook a long they put a soundtrack of a sizzling frying pan over her demonstration… I’m sure one of the Original Fraus will be able to point you the right direction!

 

[Notmycat]

Im going to add the list from the first book A Girl Called Jack as I thought it was only the sample i had, nope it was the actual book. Watch this space for the list from it,

 

[That Forensic Man]

I've updated the wiki you utterly mendacious ninnies
Fabulous slop slinging @HaveTinCanRattle and @OwlChampagne, chapeau!

Slopalong Wiki

Surprisingly for nearly three years' of Tattle threads, the canal have not taken a forensic look across the spectrum of all of Jack's recipes / slops. We've had the odd foray into a tasting situation, but nothing consistent across all of her books and website. This is in spite of anecdotal...

tattle.life

 

[Notmycat]

A girl called Jack

BREAD & BREAKFAST
Soda bread
Crackerbread
Sunshine bread
Chickpea and tomato best brunch loaf
Cabbage griddle scones
Beer and sultana bread
Vegan banana bread
Courgette sultana and lemon bread
Mandarin and poppy seed loaf
Garlic herb and lemon bread
Penny pizzas
White chocolate tea bread

SUPER SOUPS
Love soup
Really tomato basilly soup
Tomato and haricot bean soup
Carrot and coriander soup
Carrot cumin and kidney bean soup
Feisty soup
Roasted courgette and mint soup
Red wine and mushroom soup
Mexican chocolate chilli and black bean soup
Simple spiced potato soup
Onion soup with red wine
Avgolemono
Spiced lentil soup
Mushy pea soup

BEANS, PULSES AND LENTILS
Carrot cumin and kidney bean burgers f
Lentil bolognese
Warm chickpea salad with bacon and olives
Mixed bean goulash
Chickpea carrot and coriander falafels
Mumma jacks best ever chilli
Gigantes plaki
Peach and chickpea curry
Smoky red lentil burgers
Warm spicy daal
Hummus

TAKE A PACKET OF PASTA
Use me for anything tomato sauce
Best-o pesto
Onion pasta with parsley and red wine
Mushroom and spinach pasta
Carrot ribbon pasta
Car-brie-nara
Lemony spinach pasta with brown lentils
Onions cabbage and cheese pasta
Summer pasta alla Genovese
Roman pasta with mandarins and a creamy basil sauce
Creamy grilled cheese and courgette pasta
Macaroni peas

OR A BAG OF RICE
Brie and bacon risotto
Garlic and parsley risotto
Pea and mint risotto
Earthy red wine and mushroom risotto
Courgette tomato and brie gratin
Sort-of- paella

VEGETABLE DISHES
Gnocchi
Courgette and mint fritters
Bubble and squeaks
Vegetable masala curry
Not meatballs
Baba ganoush
Mushroom chasseur
Keralan aubergine curry
Chestnut and red wine casserole
Moroccan not-a-tagine
Mushroom stroganoff
Potato salad with Greek cheese courgette and yoghurt
Panzenella
Colcannon
Saag aloo

FISHES
Jack's simple fish pie
Fishy cakes
Simple prawns with feta and tomatoes
Creamy salmon pasta with a chilli lemon kick
Easy salmon pasta
Spaghetti with cockles
Battered anchovies with quick tarty sauce
Stampy roes
Sicilian style sardines with pasta and green beans
Oven baked fish in best tomato sauce with lemon and parsley rice

BIRDS
Turkey meatballs
Chicken chasseur
Easy chicken satay
Creamy mustard chicken with winter veg
Spanish style chicken
Diet Coke chicken

PIGGY
Honey and mustard glaze gammon joint
Pork kokkinisto
Pork and beans cassoulet
Oh my god dinner
Spring piggy
Sausage and beer casserole
Ham pea and mint casserole
Best macaroni with bacon and spinach
Mushroom bacon and ale casserole
Firecracker sausages with tragedy mash
Sausage and lentil one pot dinner
Haggis style meatballs

SWEETS AND TREATS
White chocolate and peach traybake
My cakeys
Chocolate buttons
School dinner days jam swiss roll
Paddington Bear sponge puddings
Apple and cinnamon loaf cake
Peanut butter and jam thumbprint cookies
Peanut butter and white chocolate frozen yoghurt
Beery berry crumble
Queen of hearts jam tarts

 

[WhyYouCry?]

My cakeys . Is that a genuine recipe? Why is she so bleeping twee?

 

[ThatsNotMyKitten]

To all who are cooking/doing their slops over the weekend, I wish you all well my tender ones. God speed

(My friend called in while I was transcribing the indexs and asked me if she needed to call my mental health team, she plans to sign up to Tattle tonight for the craic)



Miso caramel @MistyWindows

please can someone explain to me how the minuscule quantities in that recipe add up to a small jar?

Also in that goulash recipe, why do you need to rinse the steak? Why not just chuck it in with the gravy? I don’t understand it when she rinses the beans for her baked beans either as the tomato sauce would be fine with the more tomatoes in. Why lose the calories?

 

[HotesTilaire]

View attachment 1701403Given that I am also as Greek as Prince William and our smol pixie, I feel it only right to attempt a recipe from the motherland. I was searching for the ‘much feted’ pastitos recipe, but couldn’t find it. If anyone can track it down I’ll do that, and if not I’ll attempt the delicious sounding courgette and Greek cheese pasta (does this mean feta, or halloumi?) stay tuned to find out.

Ok but I think pastitsio was veganised, just to make it less likely to work

 

[Clarends]

A girl called Jack

BREAD & BREAKFAST
Soda bread
Crackerbread
Sunshine bread
Chickpea and tomato best brunch loaf
Cabbage griddle scones
Beer and sultana bread
Vegan banana bread
Courgette sultana and lemon bread
Mandarin and poppy seed loaf
Garlic herb and lemon bread
Penny pizzas
White chocolate tea bread

SUPER SOUPS
Love soup
Really tomato basilly soup
Tomato and haricot bean soup
Carrot and coriander soup
Carrot cumin and kidney bean soup
Feisty soup
Roasted courgette and mint soup
Red wine and mushroom soup
Mexican chocolate chilli and black bean soup
Simple spiced potato soup
Onion soup with red wine
Avgolemono
Spiced lentil soup
Mushy pea soup

BEANS, PULSES AND LENTILS
Carrot cumin and kidney bean burgers f
Lentil bolognese
Warm chickpea salad with bacon and olives
Mixed bean goulash
Chickpea carrot and coriander falafels
Mumma jacks best ever chilli
Gigantes plaki
Peach and chickpea curry
Smoky red lentil burgers
Warm spicy daal
Hummus

TAKE A PACKET OF PASTA
Use me for anything tomato sauce
Best-o pesto
Onion pasta with parsley and red wine
Mushroom and spinach pasta
Carrot ribbon pasta
Car-brie-nara
Lemony spinach pasta with brown lentils
Onions cabbage and cheese pasta
Summer pasta alla Genovese
Roman pasta with mandarins and a creamy basil sauce
Creamy grilled cheese and courgette pasta
Macaroni peas

OR A BAG OF RICE
Brie and bacon risotto
Garlic and parsley risotto
Pea and mint risotto
Earthy red wine and mushroom risotto
Courgette tomato and brie gratin
Sort-of- paella

VEGETABLE DISHES
Gnocchi
Courgette and mint fritters
Bubble and squeaks
Vegetable masala curry
Not meatballs
Baba ganoush
Mushroom chasseur
Keralan aubergine curry
Chestnut and red wine casserole
Moroccan not-a-tagine
Mushroom stroganoff
Potato salad with Greek cheese courgette and yoghurt
Panzenella
Colcannon
Saag aloo

FISHES
Jack's simple fish pie
Fishy cakes
Simple prawns with feta and tomatoes
Creamy salmon pasta with a chilli lemon kick
Easy salmon pasta
Spaghetti with cockles
Battered anchovies with quick tarty sauce
Stampy roes
Sicilian style sardines with pasta and green beans
Oven baked fish in best tomato sauce with lemon and parsley rice

BIRDS
Turkey meatballs
Chicken chasseur
Easy chicken satay
Creamy mustard chicken with winter veg
Spanish style chicken
Diet Coke chicken

PIGGY
Honey and mustard glaze gammon joint
Pork kokkinisto
Pork and beans cassoulet
Oh my god dinner
Spring piggy
Sausage and beer casserole
Ham pea and mint casserole
Best macaroni with bacon and spinach
Mushroom bacon and ale casserole
Firecracker sausages with tragedy mash
Sausage and lentil one pot dinner
Haggis style meatballs

SWEETS AND TREATS
White chocolate and peach traybake
My cakeys
Chocolate buttons
School dinner days jam swiss roll
Paddington Bear sponge puddings
Apple and cinnamon loaf cake
Peanut butter and jam thumbprint cookies
Peanut butter and white chocolate frozen yoghurt
Beery berry crumble
Queen of hearts jam tarts

Is anyone doing Oh my god dinner? I'll go for that. Could be anything

 

[Notmycat]

My cakeys . Is that a genuine recipe? Why is she so bleeping twee?

@WhyYouCry? It's a variation on a well known recipe

 

[Emmapism]

Oh my god dinner is the reaction of any one you put it in front of.

As in 'oh my god, this is dinner?!'

 

[Falkor]

Sadly, this is correct. She doesn’t heat the oil first. I believe in one TV cook a long they put a soundtrack of a sizzling frying pan over her demonstration… I’m sure one of the Original Fraus will be able to point you the right direction!

That was the Lorraine-without-Lorraine slots I believe, also including many lingering daffodil shots as filler.

 

[Notmycat]

@Clarends as requested

 

[Potatoes O’Houlihan]

I have the Asda edition of Tin Can Cook
I will make the two ingredient cake from the ‘exclusive bonus recipes’ at the back of the book. I am also not prepared to waste any more cash than I have to on her awful slops so I think I’ll only be a quid out of pocket (although the electricity to bake the thing will probably triple this)
On we go!