Slopalong: Cooking with Jack Monroe

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Lucky Escape said:
I'll never get over the description for this. It's like Roald Dahl's Revolting Recipes filtered through Black Mirror.
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I genuinely think this may be her most disgusting recipe. Sadly for me, Spam here costs about 6€ a tin from one of those import shops for homesick British immigrants (plus a 2-hr round trip to get to said shop), and that's a bit much for something that I would probably end up throwing at the pigeons to scare them off my balcony.
 
Reactions: 33

threetintender

OK. I have read my previous post and have cringed my bum hole into a hair bobble because I was pontificating about a sauce that I can make but spelled wrongly many times (I was UPSET) so I guess I am doomed to make something not yet bagsied. Just give me the bad news, any of you. I’ll make whatever you choose, exactly as written. It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known.

ETA: I waitressed at lunchtime and studied for my degree at night. Now I have a job that pays well because i didn’t sit about scratching myself while I waited for unearned Patreon income or tips for no service. I sent JM money when I didn’t fucking have any.
 
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Walkdengirl

It won't be good, I'm going to make it tomorrow and will report back with pictures
 
Reactions: 18

That Forensic Man

Chicken liver & lentil bolognese

CHICKEN LIVER & LENTIL BOLOGNESE

Tonight’s dinner came courtesy of some chicken liver at the back of the freezer, and some veg left over from a photoshoot yesterday. Idly flicking through my cookbook collection to find a new…
cookingonabootstrap.com
 
Reactions: 40

kachoochoo


yeah, like I said, I thought it was a joke and I'll be withdrawing until I see the free ebook. Soz!
 
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Helena Handbasket

Monday is my next proper day off. Still choosing my slop and with the ‘spirit’ of the books in mind I’m trying to find something I already have the stuff for.
 
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House of Carbonara

She has never cooked this, I'd bet money on it. Finely sliced RAW sprouts?
 
Reactions: 21

That Forensic Man

I'm going to pencil myself in for 'Unf*ckupable wholemeal pizza dough', mainly because I've never made pizza dough so an unf*ckupable one sounds ideal (theoretically) and it's a bit more involved than eggy cup. I'll only knead to buy flower and yeast and already have tomato puree/passata etc. for sauce and cheese for topping.

Unf*ckupable wholemeal pizza dough, 5p [VG/V/DF]

I made a pizza tonight, and dolloped some of last night’s leftover baba ghanoush on top – although minus the tomatoes, as it is traditionally made. The baba recipe in my first…
cookingonabootstrap.com

ETA she apparently has a recipe for pizza sauce under the pizza recipe but there's no link to it

PIZZA.

First up in celebrating our multi-cultural foodie society, is the great Italian classic, pizza. For those of you so deeply ingrained in patriotism that you have never had, enjoyed or endorsed a piz…
cookingonabootstrap.com


Going to use this sauce instead (uses ketchup)

Use-Me-For-Anything Tomato Sauce, 13p [VG/V/DF/GF]

This tomato sauce is exactly what its name says – a wonderfully versatile sauce for all occasions. I make a large batch and freeze it in small jars or ice cube trays to use as the base for pasta sa…
cookingonabootstrap.com
 
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threetintender

“Carefully pop the veg and livers into a blender with the chopped tomatoes, and blend until fairly smooth.”
 
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Lazarus

I’m no further forward with making the Lazarus pesto, but what I will say, and I have to get this off my chest:
She suggests as an alternative to basil, mint and parsley pesto that you could try rosemary, thyme and parsley pesto. Her recipe calls for 50g of each.
a standard supermarket pack of fresh herbs is 30g. Can you imagine how woody 50g of rosemary and thyme would be? What the fuck would you do with it? It would need to be about 3 packs of each once you stripped the stocks off. She literally has no idea.
I’d have made this tonight but instead I’ve been watching paint dry watching Trump v Selby in the snooker because the supermarket didn’t have much in the way of fresh herbs left.
 
Reactions: 41

Helena Handbasket

House of Carbonara said:
She has never cooked this, I'd bet money on it. Finely sliced RAW sprouts?
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That’s a terrible recipe! Her description of kneading!! Noooo! Lightly knead and shape into a ball is all she needs say. She’s so hideously verbose and wrong! Why the palms and fingers and stretching?! She’s just said it’s not bread dough so stretching isn’t required.
Raw sprouts? I just can’t even imagine how these would taste, look, hold together.
How incompetent is that dough mix instruction aswell? Just faff with it until it’s dough. Y’know-tinker.
 
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Shimmering

I'm planning to make the peanut butter frozen yoghurt but I've hit a snag in that the recipe calls for cling film (she's obsessed with the stuff) which I don't have and refuse to buy.

<Squig voice>Can I use tin foil instead?
 
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IcanSpellBéchamel

All sheets of materials are interchangeable, dear one. You can use cling film, foil, wallpaper or your nan’s curtains.
 
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S

SamFoxStuckinaCloak

Told my old Harold I’d be cooking one of Jack’s recipes and following it to the letter. His response was “I’m not fucking eating it.” I love how supportive he is of my endeavours.
 
Reactions: 56

IcanSpellBéchamel

SamFoxStuckinaCloak said:
Told my old Harold I’d be cooking one of Jack’s recipes and following it to the letter. His response was “I’m not fucking eating it.” I love how supportive he is of my endeavours.
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Sames, babes. I was supposed to be making Jackslop risotto this evening but my old Harold picked up pizza on the way home from work.
 
Reactions: 29
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