Slopalong #2 You can’t polish a turd, but you can cover it in parsley

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I have never, in my life, ever had a glut of courgettes knocking about.

Carrots, sometimes, if I’m forced to buy a bag because singles aren’t available. But courgette? Surely it’s one of those things that you only buy the amount you need of?
If you grow them they tend to all ripen at once and you end up with loads.
 
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I have never, in my life, ever had a glut of courgettes knocking about.

Carrots, sometimes, if I’m forced to buy a bag because singles aren’t available. But courgette? Surely it’s one of those things that you only buy the amount you need of?
Oh god, Courgette Glut can happen easily if you've decided to try your hand at a veg patch. They are super, super easy to grow, and one plant will produce more courgette than you think possible, especially if you don't thin it out by pinching off the flowers.

My sister planted a round dozen plants, thinking a couple would die, and she'd maybe get 3-4 courgettes off each plant as she was a rank amateur at this gardening lark.

None of them died. All of them fruited like mad in this warm, wet Scottish summer. All of them produced 3-4 courgettes. 3-4 per week.

That's 48 a week, over 200 a month, and they just kept on fruiting and producing more and more courgettes, it was like the old fairy tale of the magic porridge pot.

She can't look a courgette in the face now. The local foodbank chap that we gave 5 crates of the things to nearly ended himself laughing at her predicament.

So yes, Courgette Glut is a thing, if you don't read the directions on how many to plant on the little seed packet. Next year she's going to try tomatos and potatoes instead.
 
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She can't look a courgette in the face now.
About 35 years ago, my parents managed to grow All The Courgettes and they were served at every dinner for the entire summer and I started going in fear of finding them in my breakfast muesli. And then the meals based around bleeping marrows started appearing. There are a limited number of things you can do with a marrow. My recommendation is to say "bleeping hell," and throw it away.

I flatly refuse to eat courgettes even now.

The postscript to this story is that about 20 years after The Summer of All The bleeping Courgettes, my mum was cleaning out the chest freezer because it broke and there, lurking malevolently at the bottom like a courgette in your muesli, was a bag of frozen courgette slices.
 
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My mother gave me a tub of courgette plants during the pandemic - I was worried about a glut but they were absolutely rubbish. All bar one rotted at the end while growing, and the one I did get was tiny because I picked it before it could rot. This was our entire harvest:
 

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I have courgette and tomato plants still fruiting now so it’s going to be chutney for Christmas for everyone.
 
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I have courgette and tomato plants still fruiting now so it’s going to be chutney for Christmas for everyone.
There’s a slop for every occasion dear one!
 
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Oh god, Courgette Glut can happen easily if you've decided to try your hand at a veg patch. They are super, super easy to grow, and one plant will produce more courgette than you think possible, especially if you don't thin it out by pinching off the flowers.

My sister planted a round dozen plants, thinking a couple would die, and she'd maybe get 3-4 courgettes off each plant as she was a rank amateur at this gardening lark.

None of them died. All of them fruited like mad in this warm, wet Scottish summer. All of them produced 3-4 courgettes. 3-4 per week.

That's 48 a week, over 200 a month, and they just kept on fruiting and producing more and more courgettes, it was like the old fairy tale of the magic porridge pot.

She can't look a courgette in the face now. The local foodbank chap that we gave 5 crates of the things to nearly ended himself laughing at her predicament.

So yes, Courgette Glut is a thing, if you don't read the directions on how many to plant on the little seed packet. Next year she's going to try tomatos and potatoes instead.
I LAUGHED at this.
surely Jack’s glut could have been posted to the Patreon subscribers if they were in the amounts you mentioned.
at least it would have been something.
 
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My mother gave me a tub of courgette plants during the pandemic - I was worried about a glut but they were absolutely rubbish. All bar one rotted at the end while growing, and the one I did get was tiny because I picked it before it could rot. This was our entire harvest:
Serves 6 generously.
 
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@Lucky Escape blue cheese and onion tattie scones
hang on a minute...in this recipe which was written while living with allegra, jack claims she doesn't own a rolling pin and uses a bottle to roll out the mixture.

They seriously didn't have a rolling pin between two chefs? (one actual with a huge array of cooking equipment in the kitchen as shown in their guardian interview, the other working on her second cookery book) - it seems like another pointless lie
 
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Oh my god I've made the Roman pasta and I cannot even. Husband and I refusing to taste it. Enlisted offspring and I wish I could share the look in his face 😂😂😂

The take away quote is 'The taste keeps getting worse'

ETA Photos to follow
 
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Peach Drizzle Brick is in the oven...photo's and commentary coming soon. I bet you can't wait.

I decided not to bake it at my partners parents (I've still got one, he hasn't left. But to be fair he hasn't moved in! 😂 ) I didn't want to risk our relationship.
Quoting myself like an Boomer (Ohhhh I a Boomer, 🤷‍♂️ )

You will have to wait for the write up as it will take me a while. My Old Harold (I've got one etc. etc. ) has come up to Manchester so I will be otherwise amused!

I will say that the cake(?) is quite a thing to behold. And while it is sitting on the worktop (as an homage to Jack) it is getting worse by the minute. I have eaten some and it tastes like no other cake I have tried before. Hold tight for the long version and my score.

My OH has just walked in and asked what I have been doing. I said baking. His reply was "It looks, hhhhhhhmmmmmmm, lovely" Can I ever trust him to be truthful again?
 
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Quoting myself like an Boomer (Ohhhh I a Boomer, 🤷‍♂️ )

You will have to wait for the write up as it will take me a while. My Old Harold (I've got one etc. etc. ) has come up to Manchester so I will be otherwise amused!

I will say that the cake(?) is quite a thing to behold. And while it is sitting on the worktop (as an homage to Jack) it is getting worse by the minute. I have eaten some and it tastes like no other cake I have tried before. Hold tight for the long version and my score.

My OH has just walked in and asked what I have been doing. I said baking. His reply was "It looks, hhhhhhhmmmmmmm, lovely" Can I ever trust him to be truthful again?
Am on the bus about to go through your end of Salford 🔺 cheers for the warning about any lingering honk
 
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hang on a minute...in this recipe which was written while living with allegra, jack claims she doesn't own a rolling pin and uses a bottle to roll out the mixture.

They seriously didn't have a rolling pin between two chefs? (one actual with a huge array of cooking equipment in the kitchen as shown in their guardian interview, the other working on her second cookery book) - it seems like another pointless lie
Not only that, but if she were making it properly it would be 80% mashed potato which won't roll anyway!

I would normally form and shape it with my hands - Jack adds inexplicable egg so perhaps her version will work differently. I really can't imagine what it's going to turn out like...
 
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Good grief. WHY would you ruin perfectly good pancakes (not you, dearheart. I’m addressing Jack)? Why not just make a rhubarb compote and serve alongside?


Perhaps ‘perfectly good’ is a stretch. On reflection.
Or just eat rhubarb and custard🤔
 
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20221112_165408.jpg

Shop done and performative photo taken! Sleepy potatoes will accompany our roast tomorrow. To be fair, I think I've really lucked out with choosing this blind, it's going to be hard to get wrong. But we shall see once I follow the instructions.

I've costed all the ingredients as best I can. The spices I haven't counted, but I have included the cheddar, as it's a good portion of the cost, even though we had it in already.

Details will all be in the roundup tomorrow (if the potatoes don't send me into an early slumber)...
 
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