Slopalong #2 You can’t polish a turd, but you can cover it in parsley

[binkbonk]

Me too. Wasn't sure if it's you on the loo @binkbonk?

It's audio from rinsing the chicken


Thanks for all the love for the video fraus, I had been editing it as a typical cooking video on my phone when I realised how much more entertaining/ suitable it would be as a horror trailer. Shoutout to Jack for inspiring me to learn Premiere Pro

 

[allybongo]

The following video contains graphic depictions of slop, which some ninnies may find disturbing. Viewer discretion is advised.
View attachment 1718418

This is amazing I’m deceasedo

 

[Lazarus]

The following video contains graphic depictions of slop, which some ninnies may find disturbing. Viewer discretion is advised.
View attachment 1718418

I’ve watched this twice and just had to put it on again to get the Boulevard at the end.
Amazing. And if I may be so bold as to compliment you on such wonderfully clean hands

 

[Penelope_Ghent]

I plan to do the rich mushroom risotto tonight but I am not sure whether I can, there are no onions in it and only 100g of mushrooms. I need to have an alternative pizza to bung in the oven when this inevitably turns inedible.

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

The Sauce Has Eyes.
I’ll be sending this off as Tattle’s submission to the Oscars. Awards season awaits! Best dig out that Viv RIP dress, binkbonk

The Sauce has Eyes for thread title nomination.

The end of the video has killed me, I am once and done, I am DECEASED.

It would only be improved by a Halloween release date as the ultimate horror movie.

 

[auntylil]

The following video contains graphic depictions of slop, which some ninnies may find disturbing. Viewer discretion is advised.
View attachment 1718418

JHC they look absolutely disgusting! I hope you ate them all though?

ETA Bravo, dear heart x

 

[Salmonshirt]

There was a thread on mumsnet last night from someone who is in a really crappy situations and can barely scrape together the £3.50 community fridge donation. She was asking for cheap meal ideas. Of course, loads of people sent Jack’s slop recipes or links to her website. I wanted to post this thread and save her. Really made me think how awful it must feel to use what little you have and turn it into something inedible, all because the saviour of the poors said so.

 

[FrumpyCat]

View attachment 1719111
I have assembled all the ingredients for kidney bean and pineapple curry but I am so hungover just looking at them is making me feel unwell. Plus I spilt curry powder EVERYWHERE (lid vanished)

I have real ginger not paste because I’m FANCY

I will attempt this today but I may die in the process before I even taste it.

Oh and I’m not buying the fresh coriander that Jackie says you should garnish it with because a) I don’t like it b) I can’t be fucked to go to Sainsbos and c) it would be an utter waste of a good 99p

I am loving that the kidney beans are very almost called 'one slop'.

 

[NobblyBobbly]

It's audio from rinsing the chicken


Thanks for all the love for the video fraus, I had been editing it as a typical cooking video on my phone when I realised how much more entertaining/ suitable it would be as a horror trailer. Shoutout to Jack for inspiring me to learn Premiere Pro

The Silence of the Spam. That was incredible!!

 

[Slop n slide]

Sister has cancelled her plans and offered to make dinner so I don't know if I'll be able to do mine today . Also struggling to find either tinned custard or tinned rhubarb so may need to find an alternative slop... Going to try the Turkish grocers near me that stocks everything

Co-op came through! Working on covert plan to deliver on my sloppy promise

 

[binkbonk]

The Sauce has Eyes for thread title nomination.

The end of the video has killed me, I am once and done, I am DECEASED.

It would only be improved by a Halloween release date as the ultimate horror movie.

Lmao yes a release date would have been good, it's coming out on the same date as the VBI

 

[BlairWaldorf86]

There was a thread on mumsnet last night from someone who is in a really crappy situations and can barely scrape together the £3.50 community fridge donation. She was asking for cheap meal ideas. Of course, loads of people sent Jack’s slop recipes or links to her website. I wanted to post this thread and save her. Really made me think how awful it must feel to use what little you have and turn it into something inedible, all because the saviour of the poors said so.

Sadly Mumsnet blocks tattle links, as tattle does Mumsnet but there is a Jack thread rumbling along on there, and people have been alerted to the slopalong, so all hope is not lost.

 

[allybongo]

Oh Christ the curry is on. My hangover just trebled in size whilst assembling it. Will be back.

 

[TheCat'sMother]

Oh Christ the curry is on. My hangover just trebled in size whilst assembling it. Will be back.

Keep strong - you can do it!

 

[Cheekymonk3y]

Sorry but I’m laughing my socks off that she makes no mention that you need to grate the cheese

I know right?!

This is 80g of cheese - I started to grate it automatically then realised I hadn’t been instructed to.

never mind a 15 min recipe fail - that would have taken 2 days to stir in!!!

 

[BlossomKil]

Sister has cancelled her plans and offered to make dinner so I don't know if I'll be able to do mine today . Also struggling to find either tinned custard or tinned rhubarb so may need to find an alternative slop... Going to try the Turkish grocers near me that stocks everything

The range of product in a Turkish grocery shop defies the laws of physics. I once bought a sledge in our local one. It's only snowed once here in the last four years but they were ready.

 

[Thank(space)you]

You're amazing, @binkbonk. I had to fire up the laptop so I could watch it again on a bigger screen. The music! Perfection! My one criticism is that your hands are immaculate. It was somewhat jarring to see them alongside the rancid slop.

The sprout scones made me furious. HOW are they ever going to cook and rise properly in a frying pan, FFS? I'm not much of a baker, but I do scones quite often and they are so easy. How does she manage to make such a mess of simple recipes? It's ridiculous. Saint Mary of Berry's cheese scones are delicious, simple to make and never fail, if anyone fancies giving them a go (there are no sprouts in them, though, thank god).

I read this as scones are offended easily I would be too, should I be a jack recipe tbf

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Also… how do you get away with these Slopalongs with those you live with? Think my OH may think I’ve gone bananas if I start microwaving mushrooms with garlic, knowing the outcome will be as edible as a rubbery shoe

I do mine when my Old Harold is at work, though he came home early the other day and when I head the car lock “boop!” outside I had to run the length of my crappy BUNGALOW (I RENT) from the living room to the kitchen with three bottles of vinegar, three glasses stinking of vinegar, and an empty can to avoid explanationos.

I’m going to be serving up the carbonaraaaa as a dinner treat for him on Saturday night(Dance) to see if it has the same effect on him as it did on Leggy, so he’ll have to be here for that, but I’m going to make him stay at the other end of the house so he can’t see me taking photos and laughing. I’ll say I’m PAINSTAKINGLY making a surprise for him and he must keep out of the kitchen. WARNED.

He will have LEFT to do a double shift on Sunday, so I will be taking advantage of this to do SCIENCE by wrapping a pot of mostly raw chicken in my DEAD grandad’s dressing gown and placing it in a box (if I have one) for three hours to test out the magical cooking method in Jack’s cassoulet recipe. No amount of explaining could satisfactorily make that make sense to anyone but you lot of marvellous nefarious ninnies.

 

[BlairWaldorf86]

Did my donation. Thanks again to all you glorious ninnies for all that you do (but especially Binkbonk ).

 

[HotesTilaire]

Sadly Mumsnet blocks tattle links, as tattle does Mumsnet but there is a Jack thread rumbling along on there, and people have been alerted to the slopalong, so all hope is not lost.

Can’t do links but can you give the title of the thread, so we can search it please?