I love it here 🤍The following video contains graphic depictions of slop, which some ninnies may find disturbing. Viewer discretion is advised.
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I've just realised that I don't even have a sideboard. Am I poor?As payment, I will offer my cuisine as tribute. I may even traumatise my sideboard.
I've been doing 100 hour weeks on that video, please send cashos so I can continue this vital work@binkbonk that was amazing! however it was a bit wasteful of you to hire a professional film making company to do the film, edit and sound production, unless you crowdfunded for that?
Because I’ve seen amateur videos made by Jack and yours was clearly made by a team of professionals
That is brilliant!The following video contains graphic depictions of slop, which some ninnies may find disturbing. Viewer discretion is advised.
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far too early! But a classic for either threadNever mind inexplicable eggs, inexplicable lemon juice.
Jack Monroe- Making food complicated and nonsensical since 2011.
would it help to imagine the pineapple eyed face as a friendly little slopalong mascot? With a fork for an arm and knives for legs ?I won't be able to go back to sleep now for fear of the pineapple eyes watching me.
No harm to her but that seems like a lot of milk for one dish too. When we were little my mum bought a 4 pinter every day, yet she reluntantly wasted it on dishes like that, when we needed it for cereals and to drink. People on the bones on their arse who have something like milk would be so sad at wasting all the milk on something so foul, when they could have used it to give their kids or themselves cereal, cups or tea or a little glass to drink. She is appalling.Okay guys - here is the 15 minute, upside down fish pie…..
I gathered my ingredients and weighed them out.
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(And yes, that is Maldon Sea Salt in a pinch pot - so what?? Do you want me to STOP EATING SALT??!!!)
The recipe states it serves 4 but my first impressions were that 300g of fish, which equated to 3 fish fillets didn’t seem like much between 4 people.
It also seemed like ALOT of celery!
Into the COLD pan we slop - with a pinch of salt and some cold oil…..
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The instructions tell me to fry the onion and celery (from cold, on my highest burner), for 3 mins, then add the frozen veg and fry for 2 mins more…
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Reader, they were all still raw by the end of the 5 mins, but I gave her the benefit of the doubt.
Then, I added a crumbled stock cube, dried herbs (1tsp), 1 tbsp of flour, stirred it all in and added 300ml of skimmed UHT milk () gradually until it was all blended.
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And then add the fish and covered the pan with a lid - she says the fish should cook in 8 mins
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Near to the end of the fish cooking time, I put 300ml of skimmed UHT milk () in a jug, topped it up with 300ml boiling water, then added the potato flakes and 50g of soft spread..
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The next instruction was to microwave this solid paste for 1 minute, stir it and microwave it again for another 1 minute
So, this recipes states that the whole thing takes 15 minutes in one pan - a la a rip off of THAT MAN when his latest show came out (she posted it the night before he did his upside fish pie episode iirc??)
The total time for the recipe as written down by Jack is:
stir fry onions, celery then veg - 5 mins
add flour, milk etc & fish and cook for 8 mins
microwave instant potato for 2 mins
= 15 mins - MAGIC!
However, the potato was only slightly warm after 2 mins in the microwave so I had to put it in for another 2-3 mins, the veg were not cooked through and the fish took more like 10 mins to cook.
A cynical person might think that the times had been made up just to keep the recipe at 15 mins in total
Anyway, just before serving I stirred in the cheese to the sauce and served the mash in a bowl with the sauce on top.
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Verdict:
Taste - the mash was extremely bland and tasted of not much at all - I added a bit of the grated cheese to the top of mash to try to give it some flavour, but this did not help.
The fish part just tasted over poweringly of celery, which was still not cooked through properly and none of the flavours combined together.
There was also very little fish per serving - the dish is mainly a white sauce filled with onion, raw celery and other veg and a few bits of fish On top of bland potato.
Process - quite easy although the timings are all wrong. Also, she doesn’t tell you to grate the cheese, just to stir in the 80g cheese. Also, the mash was not cooked after the 2 mins instructed time in the microwave. It is not a 15 minute meal.
Cost - My total cost was £6.50 for the fish, skimmed milk(), onions, frozen veg and instant mash - I had the cheese and stock cube in so they were free.
Score
3 - Middle Class (not terrible as I did manage to eat it, it just wasn’t very flavoursome and I worked out that one portion only has 344 calories so not very substantial for a main meal.
Reader I would not make this again.
F*** me @binkbonk that is....I don't have the words. Okay, I do - it is fantastic, a public information film that everyone should see.The following video contains graphic depictions of slop, which some ninnies may find disturbing. Viewer discretion is advised.
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I just had a wee cry at this. So kind 🥹I bought a couple of things off the Amazon wishlist for a charity in my area which gives mums with new babies and tots things they need (books, toys, bottles, Moses baskets, etc) when they’re struggling financially. In other words, I’m donating to the women whose voices and experiences Jack has appropriated and cashed in on during The Grift.
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Excuse me, dear house of Carb, I done this with the chippy eggs in a cup.Inexplicable Eggs - grunge band circa 1990.
Another book idea... How about making a *real*, edible version of the slop cooked so far? Something like - the Original, and voilá! The Edible Version.
Petty, I know. Soz.
How about a whole bunch in a pesto, dear heart?I chop herbs in a cup but only certain ones, for thyme you need to pick the leaves off the stem as if you chop them like that you would end up with loads of short pieces of sharp twig that would be very unpleasant (and possibly dangerous) to eat. I love the flavour of thyme however a handful seems far too much.
That spork! 🫣Oh - I think I have found my offering. I simply need a tin of fruit cocktail and I can attempt this culinary
wonder
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You have to try this fruit cocktail cake recipe
Jack Monroe makes the most of tinned fruit in this easy dessert.www.prima.co.uk
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