Siobhan O’Hagan #35 FLAPham Common

[Biscuit or cake]

Sometimes I worry that there are actual dickheads asking instahuns their recipe for a packet curry that has instructions on... and then I remember to believe nothing on Instagram..

 

[testingonetwothreefoiur]

Yes indeed when you are starved of male attention then any attention at all seems massive which would explain why she blows a glance completely out of proportion.

Exactly. And a bit of common sense here - leave the house wearing shorts up your hole and a crop top and you’ll get the glances, show me a woman that doesn’t know that and I’ll show you a liar. I’m not talking “asking for it” here, I’m talking self awareness and a knowledge of how the world works.

I’m mostly in yoga pants but wore an LBD a few weeks ago and lo and behold, a few men in the world had an aul gawk. I could give a sh1t coz I’m in my late 30s and happily coupled, these things are a big deal for SOH because she’s got little else going on. She’s probably sick to the teeth of being friendzoned by Diren and JS ignoring her for how many years now.

 

[Hence]

Da actual fuck? Talking about smelling due to a tampon blockage so casually in a podcast. Woooooah is all I can say

 

[Spoofersthelotofthem]

She went on the session all through Christmas and January last year lol and completely neglected her business at the busiest period of the year and when she was due to relaunch.

 

[Spoofersthelotofthem]

An absolute sad case. Temperature stamps to beat the band today.

She is back in the bikini on Clapham Common. Mortified for her.

 

[Laidaway]

Siobhan doesn't have any other life milestones, so her birthday has to be made a big deal of.

Sad, but true.

You're clearly forgetting:
-Her yearly wash.
-2 for 1 margs at her local.
-Everytime a man looks in her general direction.
-The anniversary of when she bought her airfryer.
-Every major event in every major sport ever (which she's totally a fan of.)

 

[London_Girl]

I'm lost. So what is her real size as she admits to posing in the photo where she appears slimmer and why does she need to pose for photos to look slimmer if she is against dieting for photoshoots.?

 

[lunasa]

Our shiv Loves a good photoshop

I literally just came on to ask wtaf is going on with that photo! Does she honestly think she’s that small?! She’s really lost the plot this time trying to prove she’s not as big as the MP shoot.

 

[Spoofersthelotofthem]

Siobhan is the Dunning Kruger effect personified!

Completely overestimates her ability at everything. Her delusions are off the charts even down to creeping lol.

 

[sunday89]

Took one for the team and signed up because I just had to see what she came up with.

#GoWiththeFlow

 

[testingonetwothreefoiur]

LOL at the level of mental gymnastics she's now resorting to, to get people to sign up to her bs. How about selling on the merits of the actual programme, if it's that good, instead of on the fear of "you'll be dieting like a mad yoke in January after getting fat at Christmas LOL".

Not to mention the absolute irony of this coming from the woman who was classed as "plus size" during her MP photoshoot a few weeks ago and has since over-exercised herself back down?

 

[smurphette]

Same? It was either her bum (and she didn't shite in a week) or her urethra (like....HOW??)

It would be pretty impossible to get it into the urethra (it's tiny, and proof that nurses are amazing that they can get a catheter which is much smaller in there) so she must mean anus. I'm worried about her bowels if she didn't poop for a week though, and at no point noticed that the tampon was absorbing nothing. Seems like a lie? But an absolutely insane one.

 

[Defo_Not_Shiv]

I need vegebuulls . Christ she’s an insufferable cunt

At this stage she is a vegetable

Don’t forget guys - LC results are coming out.
We doing LC bingo?

“I didn’t study for the LC” - you fucking did. That’s all you did was open books and suck in the information. It’s been established you had no friends of your own.

“I studied to be an actuary” - you studied maths and failed to be an actuary.

“I got 500 points in the leaving” - it was like 15 years ago now. Get over that .

“I now earn more then I would have as an actuary” - sure hun. Sure you do.

“I hated the 9-5 life” - you lasted about a year before having the first of your mini breakdowns and couldn’t hack meeting your KPI’s.

“I hated getting the Swords express” - speaking as someone who would get the bus the same time as you. We all know you had the gym before going to work. Trust me - we smelt it as you passed the bus aisle .

 

[Erikafei]

How many times is she gonna tell us she's the only girl in class

 

[Defo_Not_Shiv]

Morning View attachment 1499636

How I like to start my Mondays. With my scrambled eggs and a shot of Siobhan’s bulge

Yakking on again about loving London and Clapham this morning - who is she trying to prove a point to!?

Can't wait to see her stomp to training from October onwards in the passing rain , cold and wind. The insufferable fool will get a reality check. It's actually making me look forward to winter.

She reminds me of some crazed Batman villain or something. They way she keeps on saying how much she loves it there. I love it. Love it. My new life I love it. It’s love.
Makes me think she actually hates it

Like when she was in Bali and how she was always going on about how Bali is her home and she loves it then as soon as she bolted she admitted she hated it there

 

[Nico93]

She probably didn’t like in person yoga classes because it was another hour where she couldn’t delete negative comments or block people

And yoga studios are a bit more strict on no phones in class. At least the good ones are. If you didn’t film your workout, did it even happen Siobh?!

Sometimes when I’m in a yoga class and the teacher comes over and moves my foot or my hip or something, the ENTIRE movement hits different, usually harder. It’s so important to have a trained teacher.

 

[Mamaelf]

A friend and I were just discussing Asperger’s Syndrome symptoms as she thinks her son may have it. Reading through the symptoms, you can literally relate every single one to Shiv!

• Inappropriate social interactions
• Conversations that almost always revolve around themselves or a certain topic, rather than others
• Not understanding emotions well or having less facial expression than others
• Speech that sounds unusual, such as flat, quiet, loud, or robotic
• Not using or understanding nonverbal communication, such as gestures, body language and facial expression
• An intense obsession with one or two specific, narrow subjects
• Becoming upset at any small changes in routines
• Memorizing preferred information and facts easily
• Clumsy, uncoordinated movements
• Difficulty managing emotions, sometimes leading to verbal or behavioral outbursts
• Not understanding other peoples’ feelings or perspectives

 

[WhittlingIhopMonkey]

Same woman who has crash dieted/ over exercised since she saw herself in the mp photoshoot??

Ok Siobhan.

She sent an email twice in a week about how she's lost the weight.

She definitely has disordered eating.

 

[Tazzie]

I can't cope with this cringe.

Another one for her fake “client” calls.. there is no way someone is one the other side of that screen..

 

[Defo_Not_Shiv]

It’s interesting we didn’t get a “I can’t wait to take my family to Abu Dhabi and let them experience a Grand Prix”. Wonder is she hoping people have forgotten that she kept going on about it .

Not like her to not bring it up.

Siobhan when you read this update it in your morning poo time thoughts… sorry coffee thoughts - you just talk shit.