Dear Diary,
I don’t quite know how it happened but I manifested the break up of Sinead and Jack.
Sinead and Jack < Sinead and Siobhan.
I’ve written a little poetic diary insert for my trolls x
Alarm goes off at six am,
And out of bed I jump.
Self help books and yoga too,
But my yoga face is a grump.
I scan the socials,
What is James up to today?
It’s almost been a month now
And he’s always far away
I’ve tried his gym, I’ve tried his pub,
I’ve even met his besties,
My smooth waxed vag is prim and primed,
For his sweaty golden testes
I’ve even bought a Gucci bag,
I thought I would look classy,
And Fliss has even gave me tips
On how to act more sassy
Calories weight different here,
A dominos is the same as an Apple,
I comfort ate dominos after BJJ
When James didn’t show up to grapple.
Jack has told Sinead to fuck off,
I think that I know why,
It’s probably cos she doesn’t have a degree,
But I won’t say that because she’ll cry.
I went to an English soccer match,
And I couldn’t help but cheer,
When England scored & the crowd went mad,
I felt Michael Collins jeer
I might head today, up London Town
And walk in for a Pfizer,
I think I heard JS say once
‘If a girl was vaxxed I’d ride her’
Initially I thought he said,
‘Waxed’ not ‘vaxxed’ you see,
And that is why I sit here now,
With a silky smooth but sweaty gee.
I might open furnace spaces today,
The demand has been quite high,
Swipe up if you’re interested,
And hand over your 79
I must go now and wake Sinead,
I must remind her to stay single,
You then don’t have to share,
Your dominos, eggs or Pringles.
I miss my family back home,
I promise it’s not lies,
Now how could I manage a sneaky flight home,
And a shocking front door surprise
I’ll sign off now, I’ve work to do
And I’m most productive before nine
I’m lucky that I live so differently
And that all my work is online
Xxx