Scousebird blogs #20 Steph McCann

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I See she’s on the ‘jes rose vinyl’bandwagon about 2 yrs too late ….. and she’s fucking cancelled anyway cos she’s a racist, over privileged c*nt. that new wallpaper is so dated I can’t cope
gah what have I missed with jes rose?

also that water feature would get on my wazzz if I was a neighbour!
 
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Wish she would give up on calling it a garden. It's a bloody yard! I will let you call it a yarden though Jeff

Aaaaah I've just been on that house on rightmove. So she got her yard inspiration from her neighbour. Makes sense now because she doesn't have an original bone in her body.
 
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Am I the only one who rekons the outdoor space isn't that bad?

My garden is massive and totally over run at the moment but we are sorting it over the next few months ready for next year so maybe I'm a bit blind but id be happy having that personally. I liked coras little house too my boys have something similar and I think ill get them some solar lights too dunno why I never thought of it before.

Think its a bit crap that Tony Almonds gave her all that as freebies... why not raffle it off to those who aren't... yanno... a "millionaire!"

Even if shed have said thank you but id rather offer to a random follower or something and then ran a free competition on her page where all names go in a hat.
 
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Yeah I didn’t want admit it but I kind of like her outdoor area I think the pergola is abit much for a front garden though

Noooooo they’ve put her on their Facebook

 
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Aw it’s just a little front yard that’s why it’s tacky shoving everything she possibly can into a small space making it an eyesore for the neighbours. To be fair some elements done well in a bigger back garden would look good.

As if I have to avoid Tony Almonds now too. These influencers are making it dead hard to go anywhere now.. feels like every place is giving them freebies!
 
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Parts of the yard are okay but the little ponds of water wont look too good when they are full of green algae, like she is going to clean that out.
 
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I think the garden is way too much for the space. It must look even worse in real life. Bit like Jeff herself.
 
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There's far too much going on in her pretend garden. Like all her ideas for it aren't even that bad, but she hasn't got the space to pull it all off, it just looks chocker.
 
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Her front yard is shit. Just looks ridiculous at the front of the house. Far too much stuff going on in a small space. Like a secret shit garden from the garden festival
 
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The garden for me is like everything else in that house - good theory but badly executed!

Mediterranean style court yard - yes; cram as many water features, pergolas, seating areas as you can into a tiny space - no.

Pictures of yourself and your daughter - yes; getting someone to paint massive Tudor style portraits of you in “costume” - no.

Formal dining room - yes; fake library books on wall paper, a massive medieval dining table and a bizarre painted clouds ceiling - no.

Sanded and painted stairs - yes; ombré blue stairs - no.

And the list goes on……

While we are admitting..

I bought a pumpkin spiced top a couple of years ago and I still wear it in autumn….
IM SORRYYYYYYYY!
I like spice girls and I like lattes.
Please don’t take my dab jacket away! Please love me
I think you need to go and sit in the corner and have a think about what you’ve done!
 
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I actually spend a fortune in tony almonds on a weekly basis I will not be going there anymore I’d sooner give my money to the shit shop in seaforth! Fucking Jeff lovers totally lost my respect fuming i loved that shop too! Give it to people who can’t afford nice things not the scrounger!
 
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While we are admitting..

I bought a pumpkin spiced top a couple of years ago and I still wear it in autumn….
IM SORRYYYYYYYY!
I like spice girls and I like lattes.
Please don’t take my dab jacket away! Please love me
We’re not angry, Roastie, just disappointed
 
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D'ya know what. I think the pergola is a bit OTT for the front of a terraced house. But I don't blame her for wanting nice outside space. If she would've made a bit more playing space for Cora and swerved all the rocks and water features then yeah. But it's a bit much and definitely badly executed.

When she is coming up with these concepts for the house/yard/her clothes, she should go to like interior designers/real landscape gardeners/ personal shoppers etc and get their expert opinion. Then she might manage to execute what I imagine are probably decent ideas in her head.

I'm loving that she is actually showing Cora more and them having fun together. It's what she should be doing. Far more relatable than the arse scranning and constantly going on about her body and exercise.

And I'm looking forward to seeing the kitchen. I'm actually rooting for her to do a decent job of it and not fuck it up with some garish monstrosity

It's still a yarden though
 
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Shes a scruff, the kip of that dressing room with underwear on the floor and shite everywhere, she thinks by pointing it out we wont judge, well we will. She only has two people to clean up after and its not as if she is busy in the tat shop I’m embarrassed for her.
 
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