Scousebird blogs #11 Rent a daughter, rent a mate, Jeff has every narcissistic trait!

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I remember back then I didn’t even mind the ads too much cos she was upfront and said help me out, click on them and I get a bit of cash. I found the anon version of her funny enough and didn’t mind supporting so would click. Then she was a cnt with people and bullying so went off her. I think the humour she is trying to push nowadays could work well if she had kept that ‘comedic’ side as the anon scousebird, but we know too much about her now and it just doesn’t sit well, especially when we’ve grown up alongside her and entered motherhood / similar age etc. Everyone has sneaky little jokes they laugh it or memes they wouldn’t dare share, in case it exposes a bit of a dark side, clearly she doesn’t have the shame filter we gained with maturity
 
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Quark- even the name makes me gag. It’s the “fakeaways” that make me die....make this KFC by covering your chicken breast in smash
 
Reactions: 13
Quark- even the name makes me gag. It’s the “fakeaways” that make me die....make this KFC by covering your chicken breast in smash
The only decent takeaway I done was home made chips, SW sausages and the Iceland gravy. It was ok, filled me for about an hour but if you want a takeaway it can be done right by choosing the right things on a Sunday night. Just save your syns. Right I’m going to shut the fuck up now cos I sound like Jan from SW
 
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Quark- even the name makes me gag. It’s the “fakeaways” that make me die....make this KFC by covering your chicken breast in smash
It’s when it’s like ah yes this KFC fakeaway, 7g of Doritos will easily coat one chicken breast! Fuck. Off.

Mushy pea curry has got to be the worst, I’ve never tried it though maybe I’m missing out
 
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Omg I watched come dine with me the other day and the fella made cheesecake using quark. Fucking illegal behaviour
I remember being on a SW recipe page on facey and someone made a "mini chocolate cheesecake" by using wafers from pink and whites as a base, and then mixing bastard QUARK with a melted freddo (cos it was like 5 maybe 6 syns back in the day) and honestly it looked like absolute shit on a plate I was like whyyyyy would ya waste a perfectly good freddo like that?? Just shove it in ya gob and cut out the middle man! Chocolate cheesecake my ass
 
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I was thinking of joining SW in Jan (not ashamed to jump on a wagon) cos I've gained about 2 stones thanks to Covid and ahem, 4yo kid but after reading about these quark recipes it's a hard pass. I tried it once when I did the Dukan diet before my wedding and it's an abomination that it's classed as a cheese.
My cunt of an ex boss had a gastro band fitted just before I started and the scatty cow said burping was a side effect. She would without fail eat an egg for breakfast so u can imagine the fucking stench in the office. Said that she'd been on SW for 3 months and hadn't lost anything, she was a lazy bitch though.

Did you ever watch Miranda? Just reminded me of when she said she got her clothes from a shop called “Big and long”
SUCH FUN! I'm embarrassed to say me and my sister went to see her Live at the arena few years ago
 
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Yeah really poor taste saying you may be entitled to drink a bottle of vodka get to Scouse bird shop, I personally haven’t been affected financially by Covid but really feel for people who have, and if someone needs to down a bottle of vodka they aren’t gonna pay40 quid for one of hers are they, she’s a bad tit head x
 
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I haven’t been affected financially either and I always feel a tit for saying it cos this has hit some people really bad. But I only bought the Russian Standard cos it was on offer for £13. No chance will I ever spend £40 on vodka when it’s £9.99 in Aldi on the reg
 
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Well I decided to face the music and have put on 4lb in 2 weeks which isn't THAT bad considering I've been giving zero fucks and eating like I've been at an all you can eat buffet with a free bar since the 23rd

My prediction for Jeff's NYE is that it will be spent with the weird social bubble scranning PON concoctions
 
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Wonder who she will be necking scranning arse come midnight
Think it’s odds on favourite of 2/1 Jakes Ma bubble dancing like meff in their kitchen (but it’s ok as they’re her support bubble) Rank outsiders of fat Rowe doing a secret underground gig (classed as a business meeting) or maybe Cora watching a film whilst she’s getting bladdered and still promoting her tat in the process.

How I imagine tonight for her actually
 

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Creased

Wonder who she will be necking scranning arse come midnight
Prob Ma Curetons, she bums her enough already
She's prob doing her some Yankee candle sausages but on cocktail sticks instead cos, ya know, new years and all that.
 
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***DAB public service announcement***

If you fancy some fizz this evening Aldi have their Prosecco which I am partial to anyway on offer for £4.45 a bottle
 
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