Scousebird blogs #11 Rent a daughter, rent a mate, Jeff has every narcissistic trait!

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*graph showing paul’s height and comedy value*

“He’s tall, he’s funny! Get in his DMs! Next slide please”
That was so weird when she said that. You don’t say that the day the cunts just moved out. I still hate the fact that someone I liked in school has got married and not to me ahh don’t tell Mr Ma
 
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I have actually scared myself in those instances when I’ve realised I am actually capable of murder when it’s 8pm on a Thursday night and Moira is banging out her sob story how she put on 2lb and I’m so hangry and dehydrated I’m actually having to put a lot of effort into not throwing my chair at her
 
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Please tell me there were some Mills and Boon books in there!
 
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Bit random but remember Scouse Twitter used to track people’s IP addresses then terror them. Wonder why they haven’t tried to trace us . Waiting for pot noodle fringe and co to bounce down my path . Think I’ll be safe as long as they don’t bring Nikki
 
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Can you even trace peoples locations using it though? I always thought it was just the area they lived in
 
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My mum just goes for the weigh in now (well went yano what i mean) cos shes like i havent got 2 and a half hours to waste n its like 9pm n shes starving n goes the chippy on the way home and the prize when she won slimmer of the week was home made hummous and the week before was a bunch of flowers

Please tell me there were some Mills and Boon books in there!
Oh this starting one is deffo sick inducing if u read the description but i hope its not full of shagging. Id rather lay in jeffs bed than dicuss that on here
 
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Can you even trace peoples locations using it though? I always thought it was just the area they lived in
Me too! Remember they traced that Old Holborn and he ended up getting the sack from his job. God knows how they done that without being able to trace his full address?
 
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I lost 6lbs in one week once and didn’t even get the slimmer of the week. I was fuming
 
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Me too! Remember they traced that Old Holborn and he ended up getting the sack from his job. God knows how they done that without being able to trace his full address?
Who’s Old Holborn?! bit extreme him getting the sack like was he full on arguing on Twitter while representing the company the worked for or something?
 
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Happy new tier her sense of humour is grim. I'd rather have thrush than see her shitty tweets on my TL
 
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Me too! Remember they traced that Old Holborn and he ended up getting the sack from his job. God knows how they done that without being able to trace his full address?
You can trace a home address from an IP but don't think it applies with mobile data usage. Few years back, Mr. Ballas was getting terrored by someone trying to hack him. He got the IP address, found the home address and land-line number, then called it. Turned out it was some 11 year old, little fucker got grounded for a month.
 
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Ah ok. That’s put my mind at ease. Didn’t want you losing your job on strictly.
little fucker
 
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Just a normal weekend?!??! Surely it was a bank holiday?!??!
She had been away for a wedding for the weekend with her family. She said she was going to let her hair down and had been doing really well like losing 3 or 4lb every week in the run up. She was a big girl but not like my 600lb life esque. Everyone literally gasped when her gain was revealed and we all thought it was perhaps just water retention however the next week having stuck religiously to plan she’d only lost 2lb of it madness
 
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