Sarah's Day #57 Baby's health scare gives me grey hair, Lord please "here" my performative prayer
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Im surprised she hasn’t written an instagram prayer for her digestion yet.
Today's stories... she is beyond words. Whoever said they thought they vlogged Kurt's visit to the hospital bleeping called it.
Dear Lord, here my prayer
Why is life so unfair?
Baby Malarkey just turned blue
And ruined our visit to the zoo
The hospital room wasn't very posh
For five whole days I couldn't wash
But that's not even the worst of it
For three whole days I couldn't tit!
Dear Lord I put my faith in You
Please help me do a great big poo
Amen
#GodIsGood #HereMyPrayer #PrayForPoop
OmfgView attachment 1312101
i hope i’m allowed to post this here cause
Full credit goes to the OP, this is literally her life in one picture but also perfectly represents this morning lollll i’m cackling
Everything, including the kids, have to fit in with HER aesthetic
LOL Well done! Here's mine:
Dear Lord;
Sorry I havnt spoken to you,
Since last time I needed bait for YouTube
This time though, we have more content to show.
Malakai had quite the turn,
Instead of calories I had hours in hospital to burn.
After two nights I just wanted to live my life,
Despite my sons welbeing being in strife.
Please make make evil doctors set us free,
My husband and other son want Micky Dee's.
I ask you to guide me back to gluten free,
After all it doesn't look like Malakai cured me.
In Jesus name, AMEN.
Edit to add: I wrote this while pooping. After McDonald's for breakfast and a wine. Suck it Sarah.
Dear Lord;
Sorry I havnt spoken to you,
Since last time I needed bait for YouTube
This time though, we have more content to show.
Malakai had quite the turn,
Instead of calories I had hours in hospital to burn.
After two nights I just wanted to live my life,
Despite my sons welbeing being in strife.
Please make make evil doctors set us free,
My husband and other son want Micky Dee's.
I ask you to guide me back to gluten free,
After all it doesn't look like Malakai cured me.
In Jesus name, AMEN.
Edit to add: I wrote this while pooping. After McDonald's for breakfast and a wine. Suck it Sarah.
where’s her collarbone though?
You can’t see it underneath all the McDonald’s and lollies!! Duh
As a nurse I actually get VERY concerned when I hear sezzy hasn’t pooped in 3 days. Gives me anxiety. Better get the doc to chart her some coloxyl w senna stat.
Lol someone over on 
it just said they have a mutual friend with her who said she’s a witch and a snob 
.
I’d believe it
it just said they have a mutual friend with her who said she’s a witch and a snob .I’d believe it
I didn’t listen to this with sound, but I’m going to guess it wasn’t Em who said this
“My dad called me when I bought the warehouse and asked me are you proud of yourself”
“I’m building this warehouse”
I will never get over how little credit she gives Kurt for the things they have.
Saying her dream day is at the park with “my boys” and not a spa day or shopping?
Give me a break.
We know her dream day is not looking after her kids and being able to stay in the gym for 12hrs straight.
And going on how she doesn’t like material things? It’s easy to say that when you get sent loads of material things so you can ask for non material things for your birthday because you already have everything. You cannot have the overflowing cupboard she has and still proclaim to not like material things.
And this is the second time she has said she was nervous about putting out the “real and raw” vlog. Can someone pleaseeee enlighten me on what was so full on about this day she said was so crazy?
SHES INSUFFERABLE
“I’m building this warehouse”
I will never get over how little credit she gives Kurt for the things they have.
Saying her dream day is at the park with “my boys” and not a spa day or shopping?
Give me a break.
We know her dream day is not looking after her kids and being able to stay in the gym for 12hrs straight.
And going on how she doesn’t like material things? It’s easy to say that when you get sent loads of material things so you can ask for non material things for your birthday because you already have everything. You cannot have the overflowing cupboard she has and still proclaim to not like material things.
And this is the second time she has said she was nervous about putting out the “real and raw” vlog. Can someone pleaseeee enlighten me on what was so full on about this day she said was so crazy?
SHES INSUFFERABLE
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Does she speak as badly as these transcripts make it seem? They’re so badly worded I can hardly read them!
I can't with her.
You just told your followers that you brought your son back. He died.
But you are now happily swanning off to hot freaking pilates to help you poop???
WHAT!!!!
My child was in hospital for a week on feeding and oxygen tubes, serious, but he didn't die, nor was he close, and when we got home I couldn't bare to keep my eyes off him!!
Gosh, I feel like I'm close to cutting Sarah out of my life tattle insta the lot, I just can't with her. Her stans are our of this world stupid.
You just told your followers that you brought your son back. He died.
But you are now happily swanning off to hot freaking pilates to help you poop???
WHAT!!!!
My child was in hospital for a week on feeding and oxygen tubes, serious, but he didn't die, nor was he close, and when we got home I couldn't bare to keep my eyes off him!!
Gosh, I feel like I'm close to cutting Sarah out of my life tattle insta the lot, I just can't with her. Her stans are our of this world stupid.
Yeah pretty much. They use “like” and stutter a lot. Obviously some of the transcripts are incorrect similar to when you have closed captions on Insta stories but they do talk in circles and say a lot without actually saying anything.
Sarah thinks scheduling her workouts in advance means she's super busy and it's crazy as if the rest of us don't have to? The difference is most of us have set work hours we have to schedule it around not just slip it into the day and have people to babysit... wow sez.
You feel like a new woman? We wish you were a new woman. Fu k off
You feel like a new woman? We wish you were a new woman. Fu k off
Also lots of people 'schedule workouts" because they have to book classes in advance?
Given she has admitted to bingeing and she's in a constant binge/restrict cycle, I'd believe that she did eat a whole meal or more (by our standards)I don't even believe she ate McDonald's.
She probably had a patty without the bun or a sad breakfast mcmuffin without the mufifn again
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