I think it’s possible she didn’t know. She’s got two kids, and a guy with a good job who works shifts, any accusation in the past could be kept from her or explained away as “criminals” setting him up because he’s a cop. I’m sure he kept her well away from anything- he didn’t take her to the works do, he took an entertainer. She’s at home being a good wifey and worrying about him working so hard. I really feel for her and her kids.
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@Savannah_xx and @HotesTilaire I agree with you both tbh, of course it is very possible she had no idea (and of course we shouldn't be blaiming her) but in so many of these kinds of cases the guy is clearly a head (to put it mildly) in his life generally, I mean the fact his colleagues jolked about his comments... That said, if anyone is guilty of "ignoring" evidence of how he was it is his colleagues/supervisors rather than him
I mean you can’t stop people marrying dickheads, happens all the time and someone has to marry them (apparently 
. I manage fine not being married to anyone) there are other examples of partners being stunned their other half is a murderer or serial killer. And I believe this one would have continued to kill if he hadn’t been caught.
. I manage fine not being married to anyone) there are other examples of partners being stunned their other half is a murderer or serial killer. And I believe this one would have continued to kill if he hadn’t been caught.Some people are just daft, willfully or otherwise. I've never been married and don't have kids, but I imagine women forgive a lot of weird or less than ideal behaviour if a man appears to be a decent father and provider. I'm not saying she knew anything, I just mean little red flags that in their totality might indicate with hindsight someone isn't as great as they might outwardly look.
Either way, her and those poor kids are his victims too. How do you get over your husband/father being that?
Either way, her and those poor kids are his victims too. How do you get over your husband/father being that?
I find hard to believe you could be married to someone for that long and not notice anything unsavoury about their character. Again as others have said, that doesn’t place any blame on her or suggest she knew the extent of it at all. But I don’t believe she just saw him as a loving husband and father.
I don’t think she would know just because she’s married to him. It’s hardly something he would have shared with her. I don’t know why she is so fascinating to people. Maybe he was a complete creep at home but that’s not illegal. She couldn’t have done anything with that. People are saying they don’t judge her or hold her responsible but it’s a short step to saying “if she’d noticed Sarah would still be alive”. She’s a victim too.
The reality is she could have known it all and we won’t ever know. Maybe unlikely, but also not impossible. I personally find it more likely she knew something than nothing at all. Probably that he was just a bleeping wanker. That isn’t the same as blaming her for Sarah’s death though. That blame lies with one person alone.
I think people need to believe spouses know nothing because it’s too painful to consider the alternative. And hopefully most of the time that’s true, but its not a given.
Plenty of psychos lead double lives. Maybe he was just very good at keeping the two separate. His wife worked full time, was probably very busy between that and raising the children. I don’t blame her one bit, she is also a victim of his.
They are victims too- imagine, he could be the main income in that house. What would you do when he was charged with murder? Knowing that he’s never going to make a mortgage payment ever again because if he somehow got off, he wouldn’t be working. No contribution to the kids. Not even going to be buying them a birthday present ever again, you’re now a single parent.
As someone whose father committed an awful crime (that I won’t go into detail of), I can safely say you can definitely be married and live with someone and have no clue what they’re up to when you’re not looking.
Not to mention the horrible thoughts that must plague her knowing what the man she was married to, and loved, did to another person. I think I’d need therapy for life to get over that.
My brother spent time in prison for a serious offence. I knew nothing and I can say 100% his wife, one of my best friends, hadn’t a clue what he was up to.
It’s scary really how you can really have no idea.
It’s why I get frustrated sometimes when I see people blame the family or refuse to feel an ounce of sympathy for them.
I found out my ex had been convinced of a horrible crime before be met me. I knew he was an hole when we were together but there's a difference between that and actually being capable of a serious crime.
I agree, knowing your partner is a sexist head is not the same as thinking they are a murderer, no one ever wnats/imagines to think their partner/family member is like that
Of course, its possible to be in a relationship with someone and think they are an arrogant, sexist head, and still at the same time love them and know they are the father of your kids, paying the mortgage etc etc. I mean MrJ can be arrogant and a head at times, but I would still find it enormously hard to believe that he was a psychopathic murderer. And vice versa (I hope!) When something like this happens it must absolutely rock the partner to their absolute core.
Imagine being the wife and people just repeatedly asking you why you didn’t see something, or not believing you didn’t know.
Vaguely remember reading that he was still paid until found guilty and is getting over a third of his pension - god knows why we don’t have the power to strip it off him. So I assume the kids can get access to some of that.
The pension thing is a weird one. I mean he’s paid into it so you can’t entirely remove it, the 1/3 must be the reduction as low as they can take it. But he’s not old enough to qualify yet is he? He’s just been sacked surely you don’t get a pension the day you leave no matter what your age?
Hopefully the pension goes to the wife and children.