Sarah Everard #3

[AlanBanan]

Another reason to end these ridiculous 'coronavirus' restrictions.

Please don’t merge your views on covid restrictions with the murder of this poor girl. Don’t overshadow male violence by implying her death would’ve been completely preventable if there wasn’t covid regulations.

He was the problem, if it wasn’t her, it would’ve been some other poor girls life taken regardless of covid.

 

[judgejohndeed]

I can’t stop thinking that when he was raping her she must’ve known he was going to kill her after. As if being raped isn’t horrific enough. You don’t drive someone all the way to Kent from Clapham if you’re going to let them go after raping them. I find that thought unbearable tbh.

 

[Bitofthebubbly]

The details are harrowing. I can’t imagine the horror Sarah felt as she realised she wasn’t really being arrested after all.

What do we tell our daughters now if they ever find themselves in bother when out and about? Who can they turn to for help? I feel like I need to write a book of stuff to tell my daughters in order to try and keep them as safe as possible as they get older. Things like never leave your drink unattended, don’t get in an un marked taxi oh and be wary of male police officers out alone, because they might try to kidnap, rape and murder you.

It’s just fucking tragic.

 

[Eureka]

The horrible thing is nothing will change. There will be more Sarah’s. How many women have been lost to violence in the months since she died? It will never stop.

 

[Mascaragirl]

When this happened, it was disgusting. But nothing could have prepared anyone for how dark and evil he was, now that the full details have emerged. I’m shocked to the core at his abuse of power and disregard for a beautiful life.
I honestly feel so unsettled today and sad, in particular after reading her mums statement. Worried about women’s futures and how many more women have to be killed I don’t think I can keep reading this evening, I’m so hurt I can’t even imagine how Sarah’s friends and family must feel. Sending love to everyone who’s feeling hurt right now, rest in eternal peace Sarah x

 

[LittleMissMuffet]

If she made a stink about it and said she was going to call the police to check, what would he have done? Body slammed her over the car and cuffed her or let her call?
He probably knew Sarah would not question it, nor would many other women. But, please, always question if something feels odd. I would rather question and cause a scene, end up really arrested than in poor Sarah's situation. I was reading before online about women being harassed, they spoke to the men that did it...one of the men said the woman basically has to "out crazy the crazy." The more loud and physical a woman is if approached the more likely the man will leave you alone. Scream, screech, kick, bite, scratch etc. Make sure you never ever end up in the car as often that is game over. Get a safety alarm from amazon. x

Whilst I completely appreciate this comes from a good place, you have no idea how you will react in a situation of fear. Some people in a frightening situation will just freeze and go silent. Saying a woman should be loud and physical again puts the onus on women

 

[avabella]

"doesn't look dangerous"? He's got a shaved head! How much more dangerous could he look? He looks like your worst nightmare.

Comments like this are part of the ingrained problem. Shaved heads do not = murderers.

 

[Eureka]

Another reason to end these ridiculous 'coronavirus' restrictions.

Can’t blame anything or anyone other than him for this. He didn’t become a killer because of restrictions, they just gave him a means. He’d have found a way to get a woman into his car regardless.

 

[Hbirdette]

I have always felt uncomfortable walking by myself, whether that be daytime/nighttime and it’s tragic cases like this which really highlight it for me. Sarah was literally walking home at a time when plenty of people would have been about. She wasn’t dressed provocatively (not saying you have to be to be attacked) and it’s just heartbreaking that her final moments were with this vile excuse of a human.

I read an article recently that asked lots of random women “what would you do if men didn’t exist for the day” and a lot of the responses were along the lines of “go for a walk in the dark by myself” so sad.

 

[jackolantern]

But what are you panicking about? That a rogue policemen will do the same to same again?
It’s a crime that has never happened before, and is unlikely to happen again.

There’s so much bad advice going around twitter, it’s not helpful, it won’t keep women safe and it’s taking the attention away from the real issues.

Honestly are you for real? The fact that first statement came out your mouth actually blows my mind. I won’t be discussing this with you further because your ignorance is painful.

Until the day comes where I don’t have to modify my life to accommodate the fact a man might rape or kill me just for walking down the road, yes I will fucking panic.

 

[WritersBlock]

I can’t even put into words how I feel about this. It might sound stupid, but it makes me feel like writing to her family just to say how sorry I am and how I wish I could hug them and take away their pain. I know I sound corny but its true.
I also have a terrible sense of being women being under siege. I can’t explain it, but I feel like our spaces and safety are being invaded at every turn. I’m hoping the feeling will pass. I’m holding Sarah’s family and friends closely in my thoughts.

 

[jackolantern]

The reality is no punishment will ever be enough. Whole life, suicide, death by someone else’s hands - he could be tortured for 500 years and it’s nothing because it can’t take back what he did. The best we can hope for is that he rots in jail for the rest of his life, tortured by his own mind. He won’t feel remorse - but atleast he can dwell in new life he’s created for himself. The whole thing is harrowing beyond comprehension, how her poor family can face everyday is astounding, her sisters statement

It also doesn’t matter what measures we put in place with legal arrest. The fact was, it wasn’t a legitimate arrest, it was a kidnap - nothing Sarah could have done would have stopped him taking her, or someone else if she had escaped. Sure, she could have rang and checked his ID, but then what? Do you think if she found out there was an issue, he would have just said oh well nevermind?

There are just no words. There never will be. Women will never be truly safe in a world of men. No it’s not every man, it’s not even most - but we have NO way of knowing who it is and no right to protect ourselves when we find them (or realistically they fucking find us).

Sleep well Sarah.

 

[nothanksbabes]

Very rarely does a crime affect me like this has today. I was a juror in the trial of another very serious and high profile offender a couple of years ago and I feel like I did then, just utterly outraged but sadly not surprised that men like this do what they want without any remorse.

It hits home because I'm probably the kind of woman who wouldn't be considered 'blameless' if this sort of thing happened to me. I go out a lot, I walk everywhere alone (live alone and don't have a car), I walk home late, drunk, I go on dates with strangers, but it's either live life or live in fear of monsters like this? And the best men can do is say "not all men". Where is the hope if you're a woman?

 

[monga]

Heartbreaking

 

[jackolantern]

Women don’t need to do a damn thing.

WOMEN DONT NEED TO DO A DAMN THING.

Shout it louder for all the fucking idiots in the back who still think violence against women is ANYTHING but the perpetrators fault.

 

[Caffeine Fiend]

I am just so worn down, so angry but exhausted.

So many people today have spouted not all men / not all police officers / dont believe what you read about Sarah Everards vigil. Police did nothing wrong and I am just so damn sick of hearing it and seeing it.

This is the same police service who investigated themselves and found they are not 'institutionally racist'

Nothing will change. Women will continue to be assaulted and murdered. Women will continue to be blamed for any illegal act which is carried out on them.

Now the winter is drawing in, the opportunities I have to walk my dog are narrowing, because I dont feel comfortable walking in the dark. I have this internal struggle going on inside, 50% of me is angry and thinks fuck it. You have a right to walk whenever and wherever you like but the other 50% cant breathe when I hear foot steps behind me and Im less than 2 minutes from my door. The liklihood of the man walking behind me attacking me probably isnt high but the threat is there and its real.

We as women arent living, we're surviving, or the lucky ones are.

 

[openbook1]

If she made a stink about it and said she was going to call the police to check, what would he have done? Body slammed her over the car and cuffed her or let her call?
He probably knew Sarah would not question it, nor would many other women. But, please, always question if something feels odd. I would rather question and cause a scene, end up really arrested than in poor Sarah's situation. I was reading before online about women being harassed, they spoke to the men that did it...one of the men said the woman basically has to "out crazy the crazy." The more loud and physical a woman is if approached the more likely the man will leave you alone. Scream, screech, kick, bite, scratch etc. Make sure you never ever end up in the car as often that is game over. Get a safety alarm from amazon. x

 

[Pushyplumb]

@monga you are making dangerous assumptions. You have said she was charged. She wasn't. You then say you think the reason she wasn't charged was because she gave the police evidence about him. If she had it would have come out in court. If the police had any evidence that his wife was involved or knew he was involved she would have been charged.

This woman has to live with the fact the man she married and had children by kidnapped, raped and murdered a woman. She doesn't need people speculating that she was involved or knew what he had done. She is innocent, if she wasn't the police would have charged her.

 

[judgejohndeed]

As a lawyer myself I know they have to say these things (I could never work in crime tbh) but someone who does what he did is not 'filled with shame.' This incident was probably the highlight of his whole miserable, sordid little life. He had so many opportunities to stop and let her go. That whole car journey, it's a long drive - at any point he could've just stopped and let her out. When he got there. Before, during, and after raping her, even. There is no punishment fit for what he did to her. Life in prison isn't enough.

 

[Flowergirl14]

I was flashed at 3 times in my 20's.

First time sitting outside a men's changing room waiting for my bf. I was so naive that I didn't even think to report it to the shop.

Second time with 2 Irish friends on the tube after a few drinks. My friend said "look how tiny that is". Other friend said "you would be fiercely disappointed if you got presented with that on your wedding night!". He put it away. We reported it to the station guard, and she said did you get the number of the tube. As if!

Third time, I reported it to the police. WPC thanked me and said these men go on to rape. Male PC was very disinterested in pursuing, but my husband pushed it. We went to court, the guy lost; but appealed. Lost again. Lost his job as a children's nurse. Worst bit was his wife who collapsed outside the door, a friend was cradling her as she was sobbing. They had a new born baby. I had to step over her, absolutely awful; felt so sorry for her. But I hope by pursuing this, we saved some other woman.

Always, always report flashing.