I feel very grubby for asking this, can you possibly expand on the above?
Sali Hughes #41 Head and Shoulders above the rest
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Things are never just black and white, I dislike Sali, but at the same time feel genuine sympathy for her teenage years. I don’t understand why she speaks about it now the way she does, but everyone deals with things differently and I respect that.
I agree the way she talks about it now is problematic, and it’s odd that she doesn’t seem to realise this.
My point about The Sun was about how wider society was accepting of (and frequently failed to safeguard) under age girls being sexualised and in relationships with adult men. The sort of comments she makes were acceptable up until the end of the century. Since the 00s they have become less acceptable and in the last ten years, problematic.
My point about The Sun was about how wider society was accepting of (and frequently failed to safeguard) under age girls being sexualised and in relationships with adult men. The sort of comments she makes were acceptable up until the end of the century. Since the 00s they have become less acceptable and in the last ten years, problematic.
And now I will forever do the same. Genius.
It's her story to tell however she wants, but I do think glamourising it is poor judgment
I remember at school most of my friends had lost their virginity before they turned 16, one with a much older boyfriend (think he was 24 and her mum was absolutely ok about it). It really was a different time - (not saying that was right!) but my group of friends went clubbing and went on holidays without parents from the age of 15.
I'm 10 years younger than She Here. I totally recognise what your saying it was the same for me. My pal had a 34 year old "boyfriend" at 14 and adults didn't blink.
What I would never do as a now grown woman with greater maturity, especially not in an influencer capacity (shudder) with big audience, is tag my friend in Instagram stories with old photos of us with the (disgusting/criminal ) older blokes we once hung out with and say look how cool we were, having the time of our lives.
It is just...a minging thing to do
Can you tell this has got under my skin? There ain't no beauty fix to erase this kind of tit
When I was at school another girl's 15 year old sister was 'seeing' Gary GlitterI'm 10 years younger than She Here. I totally recognise what your saying it was the same for me. My pal had a 34 year old "boyfriend" at 14 and adults didn't blink.
What I would never do as a now grown woman with greater maturity, especially not in an influencer capacity (shudder) with big audience, is tag my friend in Instagram stories with old photos of us with the (disgusting/criminal ) older blokes we once hung out with and say look how cool we were, having the time of our lives.
It is just...a minging thing to do
Can you tell this has got under my skin? There ain't no beauty fix to erase this kind of tit
I don't remember any great horror or drama around this. We younger girls found it all revolting but the whole subject of boys was revolting generally tbh.Sali has made it clear numerous times that she ran away at 14 to live with her boyfriend in his 20s. This 'auntie' Julia was friends with that man and living there too I suppose. Obviously Sali doesn't have to expand on what happened and her thoughts on the matter now, but she does keep mentioning it and glamourising it publicly. And legally that man is a p*edophile.
All a bit wierd really.
That’s him.
Like others, I agree that while it’s her story to tell herself- and others- the way she wants to, it’s extremely jarring to see her keep glamorizing it and “ooh wasn’t I a one! nudge nudge wink wink” STILL.
i lost my virginity in the late 80s as a 16 year old schoolgirl (literally, uniform and all) to a 22 year old ‘boyfriend’ I was totally besotted with and also had a 26 year old ‘boyfriend’ ‘in a band’ before that (neither of whom my parents knew a thing about, I knew enough to keep them quiet).
Looking back at that, I don’t need to frame myself in any kind of way, and in no way does it make me “cool/interesting”, either then, now or any time between. It is what it is, it’s basically “I thought I was a lot more grown up than I was, and What the duck were these GROWN ADULT MEN thinking/doing?” No adult women were involved in enabling it, either.
I don't understand in what way her having related what happened is "glamourising" it.
I readthe thread last night and decided not to comment then because I was really cross about some of what's been said (not your comment @melfish).
It seems to me the logical conclusion from some of the comments is that SH could either be responsible for under age girls being abused by not condemning it sufficiently or wasn't a "proper" victim - both of which are obviously untrue. So... what? What is being said? SH can speak or not about it in any way she pleases, the facts of the are still just that. When she was 14/15 she was in a "relationship" with a man in presumably his 20s if not older. None of the adults in her life prevented this (we don't know if some tried, it's not our business and neither is any of it really).
It may not surprise you to learn that I'm no fan of Sali but criticising her for this I think is off to put it mildly. She did nothing wrong, she can speak about it how ever she pleases or not at all and certainly isn't required to display her trauma. She doesn't have a "duty" re this to speak about it in a way that is palatable, acceptable or displaying upset for anyone else's consumption. No one is disputing the facts so SH being private about something that is a private matter, I don't see a problem with. I also don't think she should be expected not to refer to it.
I didn't understand her comment last night but I don't think it was in ref to this. SH often expresses herself in oblique or obscure ways that I don't get so that's nothing new and I don't think it has any sinister undertone.
Apologies, if garbled, repetitive.
I dunno. I think people who are in the public eye & who make a living from their image/reputation/stories have a responsibility to think about what they say & how they say it.
I simply said that I was sad if none of the adults in her life tried to stop her based on the way she tells it. As you say we don't know the ins and outs of it but based on what she has said it's sad. Agree that this is none of our business but you could argue the same thing about everything else she puts out in the public domain. She said we spoke about her marriage (maintenance shag), her divorce (again, she has spoken about that too), and so on and so forth. If it's not up for public comment then perhaps it is something that should not be brought up or casually dropped into many conversations. Again, these are the stories she has put into the public domain.
I think mostly people are sad that this culture existed and especially in the not too distant past. Leaving the whole relationship out of the equation it is hard to argue that Sali hasn't glorified the teenage tearaway thing. She can of course speak about it however she pleases. We can also pass comment on this too. The whole point of Tattle is to be able to discuss influencers. We really can't say, well it's ok to discuss x but not y. As always the commentary is for the most part balanced and I don't see any malice.
I think mostly people are sad that this culture existed and especially in the not too distant past. Leaving the whole relationship out of the equation it is hard to argue that Sali hasn't glorified the teenage tearaway thing. She can of course speak about it however she pleases. We can also pass comment on this too. The whole point of Tattle is to be able to discuss influencers. We really can't say, well it's ok to discuss x but not y. As always the commentary is for the most part balanced and I don't see any malice.
Christ, liberal/choice ‘feminism’ is a scourge.
Isn't it automatically considered rape even if the underage person consents to having sex?
Any feminists surely should not be making *any* demands of abuse survivors in relation to their own abuse?
My hair is super fine and flat @melfish and have tried everything but nothing works. It’s got worse since being in my 40s. Just ordered some biotin, thanks @torontoon!OT: Any suggestions for super fine, thin hair? I feel like I've exhausted all product options. Nothing does what it says on the tin. I am so close to just buzzing it all off
I've been taking Brewers Yeast since you mentioned it, I think it's helping! Has a strange Marmite like taste but I've kind of grown to like it
Keep us posted, I hope it works! Apparently good for nails too.
Speaking of nails mine are absolutely rubbish lately. Usually happens when the weather turns. Am trying to use the CND rescue stuff but christ it's a snore
i actually now remember that the last time She Here publicly posted about “back in the day” the thread took a similar/identical turn which actually caused me to leave the forum for a while.
Perhaps my choice of the word glamorize was poor, and I wholeheartedly respect our right to disagree with one another, however to suggest that ANY poster truly thinks this based on what anyone has said is frankly, preposterous.
I’ve tried biotin but need to stick with it more, and need to be more consistent with the brewers yeast too. As far as consistency is concerned, there’s a volumizing living proof shampoo that makes it “look” thicker (the conditioner is horrible though and makes it look like a birds nest!) that I use sometimes, but I’m pretty despairing of my hair at this point. The plus is that my eyesight is also rapidly fading so I can’t really see my hairline too well without my glasses and close scrutiny in the mirror
Perhaps my choice of the word glamorize was poor, and I wholeheartedly respect our right to disagree with one another, however to suggest that ANY poster truly thinks this based on what anyone has said is frankly, preposterous.
ETA -sorry thought this would be a separate comment not added to the last one. Mine is super fine, and thinning-receding at the front. My dermatologist wanted to put me on a medication that’s used for high blood pressure (which I don’t have), minoxidil and an antifungal shampoo (even though that’s not the cause), but I’m resisting the medication because it came with such a long list of contraindications and stuff (like bananas) I couldn’t eat while taking it.
I’ve tried biotin but need to stick with it more, and need to be more consistent with the brewers yeast too. As far as consistency is concerned, there’s a volumizing living proof shampoo that makes it “look” thicker (the conditioner is horrible though and makes it look like a birds nest!) that I use sometimes, but I’m pretty despairing of my hair at this point. The plus is that my eyesight is also rapidly fading so I can’t really see my hairline too well without my glasses and close scrutiny in the mirror
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